NOTE: There will be some itallics up ahead that signify past events.
Alphys leads you to the bathroom and hands Sans a wet towel with which he can wash the dried blood off of his arm. You wash your own hand when you remember that it's also somewhat gory and watch from the corner of your eye, with a hint of guilt, as he dabs his bones, rubbing off the redness. Suddenly your stomach feels like it's twisting into knots and your eyes widen when you realise that you can't stop what's coming. You kneel in front of the toilet and lean over it, heaving and choking on the bile that's burning up your throat. Tears pool at the corners of your eyes. The two monsters look away, their faces scrunched up slightly.
"Magic sickness. I should've warned you about that…" Sans says after you're done coughing up whatever was left inside your gut.
"You think?" You ask somewhat annoyed, the disgusting taste in your mouth making you sicker still.
They step away from the sink to let you wash your face and rinse your mouth so many times you lose count. The acid and bitterness hasn't completely left you though, and when Alphys offers you mouthwash you immediately accept it. After swirling it around and spitting it out you let out an undignified sound of disgust.
"I hate being sick." You mutter under your breath.
With that out of the way you quickly go outside to take care of the clutter you made. Alphys is waddling behind you, saying that it's fine and she'll take care of it with Undyne sometime soon, but you ignore her. You're not about to leave everything this way for them to clean up after you.
Sans offers to help and you agree to that. An extra set of hands is nice. Plus he kind of played a part in it as well, although it was mostly your magic.
"I really did a number here…"
"You should've seen the lab. I blasted some really important things to smithereens." Sans says sombrely. He turns to you. "You have much better control than I did. It's quite impressive actually."
You shake your head. "I still don't see how today's events were any sort of success."
"You got to know something about your mum." The small skeleton offers from behind you.
A small smile creeps up to your lips. "I guess I did."
As you're picking up the last thing you seem to have thrown out of place there's a booming noise and you drop it to the floor, cower and cover your head with your arms, letting out a shriek. You shrink into yourself, curling up into a tiny ball. Sans is confused by your reaction when thunder sounds again and you squeeze your eyes shut tightly, trembling violently. Realisation hits him and he's at your side in an instant.
"Hey, you okay?" You shake your head repeatedly, unable to move another muscle. You're frozen with fear. He stares up at the sky, dark clouds covering it. He looks at your shaking form and then turns to the house, telling Alphys that you'll be going now.
She comes outside to say goodbye, but by the time she pokes her head through the door the backyard's already empty.
When you appear back in reality on top of Sans' bed, there's another roar of thunder that makes your whole body quiver and you curl further into yourself, hiding your face between your legs. "He's coming for me. Coming to hurt me." You mumble in fear, your thoughts clouded like the sky outside.
Sans quickly pulls the blinds over the window, returning to his spot beside you not seconds after. "It's just thunder, why are you so scared?" Despite his confusion he's already sitting next to you, his arms pulling you to him in a protective manner. You hold onto his shirt to keep yourself tethered to the present, so that you don't slip into the depths of your terror filled memories.
You shake in his arms. "My father used storms to test the most painful things on me. The noise would drown out my screams…" You manage to say.
"He won't hurt you anymore…" Sans assures you.
The storm continues on, unrelenting, just like he was then. Your thoughts are filled with your screams, your body aching from the memory. Despite Sans' attempts to soothe you, you keep shaking and whimpering each time the skies yell outside. Some strikes are too close for comfort, causing the ground to quake, the window to vibrate. You're too busy trying to block out the thunder with your hands over your ears to notice the sound of Papyrus coming home.
"SANS?" His enthusiastic voice, however, is hard to ignore.
"In here bro." Sans calls out from the bedroom.
"SANS, YOU LAZYBONES, DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE BEEN IN BED ALL D-" The taller skeleton cuts himself off when he sees you from the door. "Is something wrong?" Concern is thick in his lowered voice.
The shorter of the brothers pets your head softly, pulling it to his shoulder, trying to make you stop trembling, still. "She's afraid of the storm. I can't seem to help her calm down…"
Papyrus' expression turns to one of understanding. Without a word he rushes off, leaving Sans slightly puzzled and you in the same panicked state. When the lanky skeleton comes back he's got some things in his hands. He sits down by the both of you, facing you in particular, and takes your hands after setting the objects behind him.
You turn your head slightly so that you can look at Papyrus. He takes off his red scarf and carefully wraps it around your head, covering your ears with it. "I had some ear warmers for the wintery weather in Snowdin, even though we don't get cold, or even have ears, nyeh-heh." He takes said fluffy ear warmers from the spot where he placed them on the bed and puts them over your ears as well. "Should help block out the noise." In fact you can barely hear him, everything's so muffled.
As if to test it out, there's another crack of thunder. You flinch still, but it's not so overbearing. You sigh in relief, attempting a smile to show your gratitude. From Papyrus' pleased expression you take that it was successful.
You close your eyes and lean into Sans' embrace, one last shudder going through you. He peels off his jacket and lays it over your shoulders, pulling the hood over your head, adding another soft layer to stop any sound that may try to reach your eardrums.
"There, perfectly deafened and unbelievably cute." Sans mutters patting your head.
"What?" You ask, not fully understanding what he said under all the layers.
He smiles. "Exactly."
You feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn to see what Papyrus wants, he's holding out the little panda. You let out a short laugh and take it with slightly shaking hands, mouthing a thank you as you hug it close to your chest. He moves his hands to sign so that you don't have to strain to comprehend him.
Feel better.
You nod at him and lean back against his older brother, who's still got his arms tightly wound around you.
Papyrus walks off, flashing you one last smile before disappearing into the hall mumbling something about dinner.
You take comfort in Sans' tight hold on you, it's keeping you grounded. Your eyes fall closed and your breathing gets steadier, the fear in your chest settling as your mind shuts off. The small skeleton keeps you close for a long time, making sure you're resting easy. Once he's satisfied that you're definitely sleeping soundly he gently sets your head on a pillow, pulling the covers over your body, which moments ago was trembling like a leaf in the wind.
He stays by your side for a few more long minutes to be absolutely certain that you're okay. The thunderstorm has already quieted down to a soft patter of rain when he leaves you to rest, going over to the kitchen. Papyrus is there looking over a recipe book Toriel gave him shortly after they got up to the surface. He hears him walking in and immediately twists to face him.
"HEY THERE BROTHER! HOW IS THE HUMAN?" He asks but before Sans can answer he's already talking again. "DOES SHE WANT SOME TEA? I CAN MAKE HER SOME CALMING TEA."
"It's fine Pap, she's asleep." The taller of the two nods.
Sensing the apprehension emanating off his brother Papyrus shifts so that he's looking him in the eyes. "She's strong you know?" A joyless chuckle escapes Sans and he stares down at his feet, his soul burdened.
"She's suffering that's what she is. And this time it's my fault. My magic… It's… Breaking her." He doesn't know why he's telling Papyrus what he's feeling and thinking. He usually keeps these things to himself. But he has to tell someone or he's going to explode.
Exhaling a shaky puff of air he sinks into a chair by the table, resting his head in his hands.
"Sans… She chose to bond with you."
"She didn't know what she was doing." His voice breaks.
"I think she knew that you needed her and she gave you all she had."
Sans' mouth twitches into a semblance of a smile, but it's fleeting. "I'm trying so hard to be strong for her… I just want her to be okay…"
A skeletal hand pats his shoulder and he turns his head to see Papyrus smiling brightly down at him. "SHE'S GOT YOU TO MAKE EVERYTHING ALRIGHT! YOU ARE THE BEST BROTHER ANYONE COULD ASK FOR, YOU CAN BE THE BEST SOULMATE TOO!" Sans' eyes soften and Papyrus pulls him into a tight, rib-crushing hug.
"I hope you're right Pap. I really do."
"OF COURSE I'M RIGHT! I'M THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" That drives a small laugh out of him.
"Yeah, you are bro."
After letting go Papyrus goes back to skimming through the recipe book. "I saw your jacket was torn by the way. I'll sew it up for you later if you want, I know how much you like it."
"Heh, yeah, thanks." Sans rubs his skull with his hands and shifts from one foot to another. "She didn't do it on purpose."
"I know." The younger skeleton's eyes drift to him for a moment and the uneasiness is evident in his usually beaming smile. "I just worry sometimes. You only have one HP."
"I'm careful, you know that." His brother agrees quietly.
"It's wonderful that you can let your guard down around her. It makes me so happy, Sans. But you have to be extra cautious until you're sure she can control it. Like you were with me when I was a baby bones and didn't know what I was doing."
Sans simply places a hand on his arm, a gesture that makes him know that he'll do what he's asking, that he understands.
"OH LOOK AT THIS! SPAGHETTI CARBONARA! THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING WORTHY OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS' COOKERY!" The shorter skeleton chuckles at his enthusiasm and starts to walk to the living room to have a lay down when he feels a sharp pain shooting through his soul.
Without a word or a second glance to Papyrus he darts to his bedroom and finds you already halfway down the hall. You removed the scarf and the ear warmers. His blue jacket is barely on your shoulders, sliding off your back and falling to the floor when you stumble forwards.
"Sans… You weren't there… I…" Your cheeks are flushed red, but not in the cute way they are when you're embarrassed. At the same time, however, you somehow look ghostly pale. A red line of blood streaks down the left corner of your mouth, another forming down your ear.
"No, no, no…" He mumbles to himself as he takes in your state. He knows your eye and nose are soon to follow. He catches you when your legs give out from under you. Your face nestles into the crook of his neck, and his usually warm bones feel like they're getting scorched by your skin. "You're burning up…"
Your whole body is aching apart from the left side of your face. That feels numb. But you're vaguely aware of the gooey scarlet substance leaking from your orifices. You can feel yourself fading. It's all too much. It always has been. You're baffled by how long you've lived. You shouldn't have lasted beyond the time your chest was opened in cold blood.
"Sans, I don't think-"
"Don't!" He cuts you off. "Don't you dare finish that sentence! I'll never forgive you!"
In his mind a memory resurfaces from a long time ago.
"I'm so tired… Everything hurts…" Sans looks at himself in the mirror. His face feels and looks like it's not right. Like his skull is deforming, melting. "Gaster, what's happening to me?"
"Too much determination. I should've been more careful…" He answers.
Sans whimpers, he's so exhausted. He just wants to lay down and sleep… Forever… "I can't do this anymore… I give up… I can't go through with it."
"You can't! What about Papyrus?" Gaster is alarmed. He doesn't know what to do and he never liked not knowing what to do.
"He has you. You'll be there for him…" Sans mutters, his voice lowering. He feels Gaster's holed hands on his shoulders, gripping tightly.
"We both know my work is my life. He needs you." His voice is stern. Sans' soul trembles. He's so weak. He always was. That's why he did this. That's why…
Sans places his hands on each side of your face. The thin streams of blood are covering your cheek now. He makes you look him in the eyes. In his chest he feels anxious, terrified, hurt…
"Am I enough?" He asks you. You stare at him, your vision is blurred from your right eye, blind from the left. "Please tell me I'm enough."
"What are you on about?" You manage to find your voice to ask him, your thoughts muddled by the overpowering sensation of your soul losing its substance.
"Can you fight for me? If you can't do it for yourself will you please stay for me?"
"You have to push through it. You have to stay. Do it for Papyrus."
"You have to push through it. You have to stay. Please, Star… Do it for me." He echoes the words.
Sans felt his body giving out. He was numb but in pain. He felt something run down his cheekbones and drip onto the floor.
The blood gathers at your chin, forming a drop that slowly detaches and falls. You see blue droplets forming at the corners of his eye sockets. You don't want him to cry, you don't want him to be sad, or in pain, or suffering.
"What will he do without you?" Gaster asks, his hold getting stronger.
"I don't think I'll live through losing you." He answers the question in his thoughts as if it were about him.
Your ears don't register his words. You're in too much pain to listen. But your soul does. And it resonates through you, like something you've felt in the past. A crushing and intense will to live. A sense that you can't give up, not now, not ever. You can't let go. You won't let go.
For him.
For him.
"For you." Your lips form the words, and in his chest he feels it like it's inside him. He feels it like he did when his own life was on the line.
You're filled with determination.
You take your hand to cover your left eye and a cyan glow shines through your fingers, the throbbing ache pulling you back to the here and now. You groan. In the centre of your being there's something rising. Sans' hands are holding you up, clutching firmly at your arms. You take a sharp intake of breath.
Power surges through you, buzzing electricity, on your skin your veins glow blue, your arteries glow red, your magic and his flowing and imbedding into every cell. Down your cheek, more blood streams out of your left eye as both shoot open, flaming indigo and scarlet each, a mix of the two pulsing from out of your chest. You arch your spine and you throw your head back, trying not to cry out. Sans holds you tighter, never letting you go. Your hands ball to fists and every muscle in your body contracts, causing you to curl forward and gasp from the intensity of the agony you're enduring.
When you start convulsing, Sans loses his grip on you and you fall to your hands and knees. Holding onto your sides you let your forehead fall to the floor, turning it crimson with the liquid that's still coming out of you. You grit your teeth to stop yourself from screaming, squirming on the ground. You feel like you are being burnt, drowned, electrocuted, frozen, crushed, pulled apart at the seams, stabbed, sliced, beaten and strangled. All at once. You choke on the blood in your mouth. Skeletal hands are on your back, but you barely feel them through it all. Your body and mind are completely disconnected. All you know is this pain, all you are is this power.
And then…
It all stops.
The light in your skin retreats slowly to the source. Your soul fills with the magic and it stays there. It doesn't leak out. It doesn't feel unstable or out of control. It doesn't feel like it's going to explode when you least expect it. It just feels yours.
Your body goes limp and you whine. You feel tears forming and you let them fall freely and mix with what's smeared on the floor next your face. The most movement you can manage is slightly rocking from one side to another and the light sobs that escape your lips.
Phalanges stroke your skin ever so lightly and you shudder at his touch. Your whole body is too sensitive and too drained for any contact.
"It's okay… Shh, it's okay…" Sans croons. You cry softly. You're not hurting right now but you're emotional. It's like you just felt all the pain you've ever been inflicted in your entire life, but in the short span of a few minutes. Maybe you have. "Papyrus, you don't have to hide anymore. It's fine now."
At his brother's words, the tall skeleton peaks from the behind the wall. "Is she alright?"
A gentle smile forms on Sans' face and he nods his head 'yes'. He knows that you're going to be okay and he's so relieved. He was enough after all. His soul is jumping in his chest. He loved Papyrus enough to fight for him back then. And you love him just as much at least. He hopes more. It was hard. He knows this too, he felt it in his bones before. He's also so proud of you.
The taller brother steps closer and they both stare at you. One with concern, the other with overflowing delight. You're going to be fine. You did it. For him.
Your soul has fully accepted his magic. He can feel it. Your bond is stronger now, even more so than before.
You close your eyes. You're so exhausted. Bone tired. That's what Sans would say. You think to yourself as you keep weeping silently.
"Are you sure?" Papyrus asks.
"Yes. And I'm so happy I could cry." He lets out a tiny sob.
"Okay." He's still unsure. The blood puddled by your cheek surely isn't helping. But if Sans says you're okay then he's going to believe him. "Get her to bed then. I'll take care of things here and I'll take you dinner when it's done."
The small skeleton looks up at Papyrus to thank him. You're enveloped by the soft hum of Sans' magic and carefully lifted off the floor and to bed. He uses his shirt to wipe the gore from your features, very slowly and gently as not to upset you. He knows exactly how you're feeling.
Tears are still falling from your eyes when he's done, small whimpers leaving your mouth every once in a while but it's not long until you're asleep. You probably won't wake up for a while. But he doesn't care because he knows that you're going to do it eventually. For him.
NOTE: I hope this was alright... I tried really hard to go for something with Sans' memories parallelling the present events and I hope I succeeded
Thank you for reading and please let me know what you though, any feedback is always appreciated :)