There's a big smile on your face as you walk down a dirt road, hand in hand with Sans by your side. Papyrus isn't far behind, going on about one of his latest 'adventures' and you all laugh together. You feel so happy.
There's a tunnel up ahead, your hand slips from your soulmate's when you start walking faster, soon breaking into a run.
"Come on you lazybones, we're almost there!" You giggle when you walk underneath the stone structure, the light being blocked above you and the surrounding area darkening.
You turn on your heels to wait for them and all you see is darkness. Your smile fades and your happiness is replaced by a sudden anxiety.
"Sans…" Your voice echoes in the emptiness. "P-Papyrus…" You're whispering now.
Bringing your arms up to your chest you wrap them around yourself, feeling cold, alone and afraid. Your soul starts aching.
Crying sounds from behind you and when you turn around to look, you see a girl sitting not too far away, curled up into herself, hugging her knees to her chest. Slowly, you approach the crying child, wary. Her clothes are torn in several places, worn and dirty. You reach for her shoulder in an attempt to both get her attention and comfort her.
"Are y-"
"Don't touch me!" She shouts, her face shooting back to stare at you. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained from the tears. Your hands start shaking and your eyes widen. You take a step backwards, your breath getting caught in your throat. The girl is you from long ago… From a day you remember as clearly as if it were yesterday. Your heart clenches and tears sting at your eyes.
She hides her face back behind her knees, continuing to sob and you keep walking away, your mind in shock, your heart racing. Your back hits something and you gasp, twisting so that you can see what it is and you're faced with a mirror.
Your expression is pure horror, your whole body is trembling, your mouth hanging slightly open as you take in ragged breaths, feeling on the verge of panic.
And then, your reflection's lips twitch. You blink, unsure if you actually saw it. With a quivering hand you reach for the reflection and it does the same, as any normal mirror image would. Your hand reaches the flat surface and gets stopped, just as it should. But somehow, that doesn't still the rising fear in your gut.
The mirror shatters and you feel a hand at your throat, your 'copy' stepping out from behind the shards and pushing you against a wall you know wasn't previously there. You grab at her hands, your hands, but can't seem to find the strength to do anything with them. You look into her eyes. They're not like yours. They're dull and dark, but glowing with magic. Blood red magic, unlike the red and blue mix you currently have. Somehow, you know that she's not a past version of you like the other one. She smirks at you and it sends an unsettling feeling crawling down your back.
"You're weak. Look at you." You get pressed further into the wall, grip on your neck tightening to the point of pain. "You have the powers of a god and what do you do with them? Nothing. You're pathetic."
She pushes your head forcefully and pain shoots through your body. You squeeze your eyes shut tightly and hear a bitter laugh leave her lips. It sounds just like you… and just like your father…
"Coward." She spits the word out and you cringe.
The hold on your throat is gone and you fall to your knees.
"Star." Sans' voice rings in your ears and your head snaps up to find the source, hope filling you. This nightmare is finally over.
You see him standing in front of you, hand held out and you smile up at him. You take his hand and he smiles back. But when you go to get up with his help, a knife pierces through his ribs, a choked sound leaving him. He looks down at his chest, eye sockets wide. When he looks back at you he turns to dust, blown away by a sudden gust of wind. A gut wrenching scream escapes your lips and an unbelievable weight settles on your chest.
Hot tears fall freely from your eyes and you feel thin arms wrap around your waist. A mouth presses to your ear and your voice whispers into it.
"You could've protected him. If only you used your powers the way they're supposed to be." The words are cold just like her lips. You turn your head slowly, faces identical to each other inches from one another. The only difference between the two is those eyes. Her eyes are dead and familiar. "It's inside you… Just waiting to be released. Your father… Your brother… What makes you any different?"
"I'm not like them…" You force yourself to say.
Freezing hands rest on your cheeks, almost in a loving way as you stare at each other, your expression terrified and pained, hers peaceful and mild. "You don't have to be…" She strokes your face gently and you feel disgusted. "You can just use your powers for good… Protect the ones you love… Strike down those who hurt them… You can make the world better…"
"I could…" The words leave your mouth unwarranted and you're immediately petrified. No. You shouldn't think like that. Those thoughts will only lead down one road you know all too well. You can't give in.
"What's so bad about that? Hmm?" You pull away from your doppelganger, slapping her hands from your face and crawling backwards, away from that evil that lurks inside your mind.
"Stop."
Her gentle expression twists to one of pure rage, her eyes narrowing and her lips pulling back in a grimace.
"You can't keep me hidden forever." A scarlet haze of magic forms around her hand and she stalks forward. You try to get to your feet but you can't seem to do it, your heart is stuck in your throat. "I'll crawl out of you sooner or later."
She's sliding closer and you're still crawling away but your back hits the wall and you have nowhere to go. She grabs a handful of your hair pulls you forward, standing behind you with one leg on each side of your back. Your head is pulled upwards and you find the mirror in front of you once again. Her face is distorted in it, blurred out almost, her eyes dark pits and a blackened slit for a mouth that's stretched into a terrifying grin.
"Sweet dreams…" She croons putting a knife to your exposed throat and slitting it open.
You bolt upright with a blood curdling scream, hands going up to your neck and feeling for any cuts, any blood. Nothing's there, just skin, untouched and unharmed. Your shrieks die down when you feel skeletal arms around you, holding your shivering being close. You feel tears streaming down your cheeks as Sans runs a hand through your hair in a comforting motion.
"It's okay… It was all a nightmare… You're nothing like your father or Chara, you won't end up like them and I'm right here. Everything's alright." He murmurs into your ear. The bedroom door busts open and Papyrus runs in, eyes wide and fight stance at the ready with magic bones all around him to scare off whatever threat had made you scream.
Your knuckles have turned white from the sheer force with which you're gripping onto Sans' shirt. You won't close your eyes, won't even dare blink. If you do you'll see it again. Yourself as what you could become, killing what you want to be. It's the first nightmare you've had in a whole week. Everything felt so real even though you subconsciously knew that it couldn't be.
Sans would never admit it. But as he saw your nightmare in his own mind, connected by your bond, his soul filled with dread. His head kept chanting 'what ifs' and he couldn't shake them away despite knowing very well in the depths of his being that you would never succumb to such evil. But that 'I could' wouldn't leave him alone. He replayed it over and over, and each time he saw that look in your eye… Was it curiosity? Or was it desire? Or was it none of those things and it was really just a nightmare that he was reading way too much into? He couldn't tell. And that terrified him. But he wouldn't tell you that. Not only because he didn't want to make you feel even worse, but because he knew in his soul that he didn't have to be. You weren't like this. And he was going to make you see that too.
The taller brother approaches you and places a hand on your shoulder, rubbing your back slowly with a worried look on his face. You want to tell them you are alright and that they don't have to worry about you. But you aren't okay, and all you can do is weep and sob into Sans' shoulder, scared out of your wits that your dream wasn't just that, still unable to close your eyes.
You open your mouth to say something but all that comes out is a choked sob that's immediately followed by many more like it. Sans just holds you tighter. Deep down he knows what it's like to wonder if you're becoming something truly malicious. He's questioned whether he should even be allowed to live countless times before. Each time he killed Chara it got a little easier. If it weren't for Frisk's gentle soul, he was afraid that he'd lose himself to all that hatred before he even got to the surface.
And when you found each other, that's when his life finally got meaning.
"I love you…" Sans murmurs softly. "You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Right up there with getting a little brother…" He says while smiling softly at Papyrus who returns the gesture with loving eyes.
Your hold on Sans' shirt tightens even more, tears staining it where your face is resting against his shoulder. The taller skeleton puts his arms around the both of you and pulls you close in a warm embrace.
"Whatever's bothering you, the great Papyrus will do his best to put your mind at ease!"
"You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'll keep you safe and I'll make sure that those nightmares will never be more than that."
A tiny whimper sounds from you, as words still can't seem to form. In your soul you feel concern and fear, but also overwhelming love and affection. Finally, you loosen you grasp, taking deep and steady breaths, hindered only by the occasional sob. You tell yourself over and over that you'll never be like your father and that you don't have Chara's view of the world. You tell yourself that you can be good and kind, that you can be happy. You have everything you need right here in this room. It's everything you've ever wanted. Just unconditional love.
"I love you too… Both of you…" You manage to croak, bringing your hands to your cheeks to wipe away the last few tears that fell from your eyes. "I'm sorry…"
"What for?" Papyrus asks. "Everyone has bad dreams and bad days. It's my duty as your newfound brother to make you feel better! Just ask Sans! I'm going to make you some hot chocolate!"
The older brother chuckles slightly as the lanky skeleton walks out of the room with a big smile on his face. You sniffle, rubbing your eyes and slowly running a hand through your hair, still shaking slightly. You feel calmer, but not at all at ease. Sans takes your face in his hands, stroking your cheeks gently and lovingly.
Your soul is aching badly and your thoughts won't stop going back to the way your reflection looked as she killed you. The very image was something truly unsettling, unnatural, not human. Pure evil incarnate. You shiver and hide your face in Sans' neck.
"I don't want to become like that. What if it's inside me… in my blood? What if it's just a matter of time until I turn out the way they did?" You whisper quietly.
Your soulmate takes a deep breath and squeezes you tightly before pulling back so that he can look right into your eyes. He places a hand on your chest and you gasp at the feeling of your soul being tugged out. Its glow is dimmer than usual, the tendrils of magic coming out of it weak and far between. His expression falls a little when he looks at it. Watching you suffer like this is something he hates deeply.
The small skeleton places his hands underneath the little white heart with the blue tear in its core and cups it, bringing it up between your faces. He gently takes your hand and raises it over to your soul. Closing his eyes, he guides it so that your index brushes against the large cyan piece and fresh tears form in your eyes.
It feels like all his love for you is washing over you. In your chest, there's a crushing sensation of admiration, pride and longing. You feel the way he feels for you. You sense the hopes and dreams he has for you. You can tell how much he cares about you and wants you be happy, how happy you've made him…
You let your eyes close at long last, taking it all in. One gentle touch to the part of his soul that's sewn into yours and all his emotions are yours as well. You've never felt so loved before. You've never loved him so much before, you didn't think it was possible to love him more. But it was. And you never want to let this feeling go.
"You have to know that you're a bright beacon to guide me in my darkness. No matter what happens, whenever you feel like you're lost in your own, I'll always be right here to find you, and bring you back into the light." Sans tells you, placing a kiss on the top of your forehead.
He wipes the tears away and leaves a kiss behind each one, before finally returning your soul to where it belongs. He plants one last peck on your lips and takes you in his arms. You feel phalanges in your hair as he places your head on his shoulder once more.
Winding your arms around his neck, you hold onto Sans until you hear Papyrus coming in with one mug of hot chocolate just as he had announced. Reluctantly, you pull back from the embrace to take in your hands.
"You look a lot brighter!" Papyrus beams at you.
You simply nod with a small smile, taking the mug up to your lips. It's hot and sweet and it warms your insides. You thank the tall skeleton and he looks at his brother. He's watching you closely, his pupils following your every move, every other second falling back to your soul and seeing it shine again. He then looks at Papyrus and flashes him a bright grin that reaches his eyes in a gesture he's been seeing more and more since you've showed up.
He's grateful to you. Both brothers are, in different ways. Papyrus is glad he can finally see his brother happy. Sans is glad he's finally found a reason to believe there's more to this life than all the resets. He has a reason to fight now. He can't believe he ever thought of giving up.
You have a lot of problems, there's no doubt about that. But now you have a family, a real one. A family that will help you through them, and that you'll help through theirs. You let out a sigh and look at the clock. It's almost daylight. No point in going back to sleep even if you wanted to, which you really don't.
"I'm sorry for waking you two. I appreciate everything you're doing for me." You mumble while staring into the now half empty mug.
Papyrus takes the hot chocolate from your hands and gives it over to Sans. You're confused until he takes you into a bone crushing hug and lifts you up, spinning you around and causing you to giggle uncontrollably. After setting you down he whispers something in your ear he's sure will cheer you up for good. Your eyes widen slightly and you gasp, staring at him.
"You're lying."
"THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEVER LIES! NYEH!" Sans looks on inquisitively, the warm cup still in his hands.
You smile widely before clearing your throat and straightening your face. "Thank you Papyrus. I'll keep that in mind." He nods eagerly.
"GOOD! WELL THEN, I SHOULD GET READY FOR WORK SOON ANYHOW, SO I BID YOU TWO ADIEU! HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!" With that he saunters out the door.
Sans gives you back the cup and you slowly finish it in silence while he stares intently at you. You steal a couple of glances his way, a smirk spreading on your lips each time despite your best attempts at hiding it. He finally gets tired of waiting for you to say something and pokes your side to get your attention.
"What did Paps tell you?" He asks. You shrug.
"Nothing important." Waving a dismissive hand you take the last sip of hot chocolate before setting it safely on the nightstand. You hear the front door closing from Papyrus leaving and the corners of your lips pull up.
His eyes narrow at you. "Then why are you suddenly so… Suspicious…" He mutters with a smile dancing on his face.
You shrug your shoulders again and bite down on your bottom lip, unsure how long you can resist the temptation. Sans takes one of your hands in his, grinning.
"Come on, tell me." He pleads. His eyes are filled with curiosity. "I want to know what makes you this happy." You pretend to think about it for a few seconds.
"Oh alright…" You say, exhaling as if defeated. You turn so that you're facing him, sliding on the bed so that you're inches away from him. You bring your hands up to his arms and rub them gently, over the smooth bone of his humerus. "Papyrus told me something about you."
Sans raises a brow ridge at you. "Did he now? And what was that?" You run a finger over his clavicle and flash him a playful smirk.
"He told me that…" You drift off.
"Yes…?" You look away and hum as if deep in thought, pretending to recall. Your hands come down over his chest and he follows them with his gaze before looking back at your face. He couldn't tell if he should be scared of what was about to happen.
"You have…" You continue.
"What?" He asks, his patience running out and coming closer, pushing against your hands.
You slide them lower and to his sides. You lean in and whisper. "Very ticklish ribs." He doesn't have the time to process your words before your assaulting him with your hands, causing him to laugh and start begging you to stop. "No, this is way too much fun." You giggle.
He falls with his back on the bed squirming beneath you, trying to counter your merciless attack. But it's so hard for him to focus when your own giggles are filling his soul with joy.
"Ha-ha, I-I'm gonna, ha-ha-ha, d-damn it P-pap, he'll p-pay f-for this! Ha-ha-ha. S-s-stop!" He begs again through fits of laughter. You don't relent though, his laughter is lovely music to your ears, putting your soul finally at ease, sending all your fears away.
Sans finally manages to grab your arms and pry them away. He's panting breathlessly, his laughs dying down slowly as he regains his composure. He sits up and puts his arms around you, your chuckles still filling the room.
"Be like this forever…" He breathes. "I love you so much…"
Instead of answering him, you just take his face and kiss him, showing him how you feel. You close your eyes. Everything I need, right here. You think again.
Even if there is evil inside you, you have everything you need to push it away.
NOTE: Hey there! I just pushed out this chapter! Gah, such an awful week! So much work! I have a major test in a week and still haven't studied for it! And I've got three essays to hand in by the end of this month as well! Help me I'm dying!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I tried to make it good! Not sure if I'll be able to update next week, my birthday is on Tuesday and I have so much work that'll probably be my only day off and I'm spending it with some friends...
So yeah, thank you for reading! Please leave any feedback you may have, it's always welcome!
Rant over :P