Authors Note: I will try to update this fairly regularly as at the moment I have most of it already written. Regular updates until I run out of material and until I go back to sixth form.

It had been a week since Grace had died and no one had seen or heard from Connie. Sam rang her everyday too see if she was alright and if she was ready to talk about the funeral. Charlie rang everyday to try and talk to her, see if she needed anything, she'd left her car keys so he'd dropped her car back round her house and he had knocked on the door. Zoe went round every day to see how she was doing. But she didn't answer the phone or the door, they knew she was there's because she'd stand at the other side of the door until they left, watching and waiting. It was getting ridiculous and Charlie decided he had to stay, eventually she would have to let him in.

He drove round to her house and knocked on the door, as per usual her shadow appeared but she didn't open it just looked at him. "Connie, come on let me in. Please you're going to have to let someone in eventually." She just stayed where she was "Oh well, I'll just stay her till you do."

She didn't know what too do, she didn't want comfort she didn't feel she deserved it. Although the cold winter was creeping in and Charlie wasn't as young as he had been. Then again its not like he didn't have anywhere to go. But the sooner she let him in the sooner he'd go. No, she didn't deserve comfort. A constant battle in her brain she couldn't work out what to do. "Please Connie, I know you're hurting but just let me in. I need to know how you're doing."

"Why?" She whispered and he only just heard it "Its not like anyone cares."

"What makes you say that? Everyone's really worried about you. The EDs not the same without the ice queen."

"No its better. You don't need to lie Charlie."

"I'm not lying, I've got a card here, everyone's signed it."

"I don't believe it, you must've told them to."

"Nope I just said here's a card for Mrs Beauchamp anyone's welcome to sign it. Even some of your frequent fliers have signed it. And I've got loads of chocolate and flowers in my car. Connie they all care massively."

"No! No they don't. I don't deserve them to."

"Please let me in."

"No! Because you'll try and comfort me and I don't deserve it."

"What? Why?"

"I failed her Charlie. I couldn't save her. When she lost output I just froze and then I gave in. I let them turn the machines off. Its all my fault, I failed her and I deserve this."

"No you don't Connie. You froze, you're her mother its understandable..."

"It's not excusable."

"No from where I'm standing its excusable as well. She was brain dead, I know it's horrible to think about but at the end of the day she was already dead. You just allowed her to go, allowed her to find peace. You don't deserve to be hurting Connie, no one does. She wouldn't want this. Please just let me in." After what seemed like an age, she reluctantly unlocked the door and the second Charlie entered she collapsed into his arms. "I can't do this Charlie, there's nothing left for me."

The first thing Charlie noticed when he walked in was the big bags under her eyes and her sallow cheeks. Then when she fell into him he noticed how small she now was she had always been slim but now it seemed like she was just wasting away. "Connie" he said causing her to look up "when was the last time you slept? The last time you ate?"

"I haven't slept since that first night, I try Charlie but I get taunted by nightmares. I can't cope with them so I just don't sleep."

"And eating?"

"I can't remember, a week I think, I'm just never hungry. Or I eat it and it comes back up."

"Connie this isn't good."

"You think I don't know that Charlie?! I try so hard but it all seems pointless without her."

"I'll cook you something what do you fancy?"

"I don't know, there's not much in and I doubt I'll be able to eat much anyway."

"I'll go see then. Promise me you'll at least try."

"What's the point?" She sighed collapsing onto the sofa as Charie went to the kitchen.

A while later he returned with two plates of omelettes. "Here, I thought I'd keep you company." he said passing her one of the plates. She just stared down at it before finally picking up her fork she managed three mouthfuls before putting it down again.

"Come on you can eat more than that."

"I can't Charlie if I do I'll be sick."

"Please just try." She shook her head stubbornly. He sighed and went back to eating his own. When he finished he took both plates back to the kitchen and then came back "Come on let's get you to bed, you can try and get some sleep." She stood up and followed him, not bothering to get changed as she was in joggers already. Within about 10 minutes she'd fallen asleep. Charlie quietly snuck out and started tidying up the wine bottles and other rubbish before leaving to do some shopping.

He returned an hour later and he'd only just put the shopping away when he heard Connie screaming, so he ran upstairs to find her squirming and struggling, still asleep. Gently he placed a hand on her shoulder and started stroking her hair. "Connie." She snapped awake "you were having a nightmare."

"Oh, I... Sorry."

"No its okay. Try and get some more sleep."

"I can't. The nightmares will come back."

"Just try."

"Okay b-but can... Can you s-stay with me p-please."

"Of course, I'll be here when you wake up." He then sat down beside her and she fell asleep in his lap looking very young and innocent. And for the first time in a week Connie managed to sleep for at least 8 hours eventually Charlie fell asleep as well. Connie didn't wake up until 7 the next day and was temporarily confused, then remembering Charlie had been there she looked around for him but couldn't see him so went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water. There she found him cooking, "Hey, I snuck out last night to do some shopping, I got you enough for a week. And I thought I'd make you a fry up for breakfast."

"Thanks Charlie but I'm really not hungry. How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything. Please just eat something."

"I said I'm not hungry so I'm not hungry! Please go. I'll see you at work."

"What?"

"You heard me go!"

"No the other bit."

"I'll see you at work."

"I really think you should take some more time off. At least wait until after the funeral."

"But I don't know when the funeral is going to be."

"Oh whatever" Charlie said throwing his hands up in despair. "I'd have at least thought a thank you would be appropriate but its fine I should've just left you starving and sleep deprived." He then grabbed his coat and started to leave.

"Thank you and you're right." She whispered causing him to stop and look at her.

"Sorry, I don't regret coming I was just angry." He pondered for a second before speaking again "Connie, do you want a lift in since you're so stubborn and insist on coming in?"

"Well... No thank you Charlie I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Not really but yes I'll, I'll be fine."

He then left knowing better than to argue with her "I'll see you there then." She nodded and watched as he left before getting ready to leave herself. No matter how hard she tried for her classic ice queen look nothing really fitted properly and her eyes had lost their usual stern sparkle. She eventually gave up shoving on a dress as her skirts wouldn't stay up, not bothering with make up she left the house and drove to work in an eery silence. Eventually though she pulled up outside the hospital and taking a deep breath she picked up her bag and entered, preparing herself for the tense atmosphere she knew would greet her.