Authors note: As almost promised here's a second chapter for today, I'm not sure when the next one will be up because I haven't written it yet so sorry for any delay. Also the next chapter will probably be the last and tie up all the loose ends.

In the week leading up to the funeral Connie was very snappy with everyone, she seemed more and more tired every day and it was clear to everyone that she still wasn't eating. And before long she was back at her home preparing herself for the funeral. What do you wear to the funeral of your only child? In the end she decided on a plain black dress that used to cling tightly showing off her curves but now was loose and almost swallowed her. She thought about putting make up on but decided against it since she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the tears so she just went downstairs where she poured herself a large glass of wine to 'calm her nerves'.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door which caused her to jump spilling wine down the front of her. She cursed before going to answer the door. "Who is it because I really don't have the time today!"

"You think I don't know that" Sam's voice came back. Connie sighed before opening the door

"What do you want?" She snapped.

"I came to take you to the funeral, are you wearing that?"

"I was but then you come barging in here and make me spill wine down myself."

"Go get changed I'll soak that dress for you."

"I can manage Sam, I don't need your help." She said as she stormed out coming back in a black shirt and skirt.

"You look great, are you ready?"

"No of course I'm not ready!" She snapped eyes filled with tears

"Come on then" he said putting his arm around her and leading her to the car they'd be going in.

Following behind the hearse Connie didn't take her eyes off the small coffin the entire time as she watched her baby paraded through the streets. When they got to the church Connie almost fell over as she got out of the car her limbs not seeming to work. She didn't want to go in but she couldn't not. Sam came round and gave her his arm in order to prop her up as everyone's heads turned when they walked in behind the coffin. They took their seats at the front of the church next to Zoe, Charlie and Grace's grandma Connie's eyes still on the coffin. It was all a blur as the vicar spoke, then Sam stood up to speak, before she knew it it was her turn to speak.

"Grace was my only child and she was all I cared about. Most people call me the ice queen and say I have no heart, but its just a shell, its always been just a shell. I loved, I love Grace more than anyone and she was taken far too young. My baby, my little girl I keep thinking she'll come down the stairs and demand we watch Frozen or demand the newest phone or some new clothes. I look through my phone and there's just constant photos of her or selfies we've taken together. And to think those times will never be again." She bit her lip before turning to face the coffin "Grace, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, I love you and I never said that enough. I love you so so much" she said and then burst into tears as she tried to continue. "You were everything, everything to me and I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Wherever you are now and whatever you're doing, if-if you can hear me I love you Grace. Mummy loves you so so much" she almost collapsed to the floor as she stood by the coffin tears streaming down her face.

Sam then stood up and led her back to her seat as she cried into him and the vicar continued. Finally they took the coffin away and Connie let out a scream before falling to the floor, she was inconsolable as she just screamed no over and over until eventually she had no more tears to cry and she just sat there staring. By this point everyone had left except for Charlie, Sam had been going to but Charlie had gestured for him to go.

"Come on Connie, let's get you home." He led her out to his car and drove her home as she just stared out the window. "I know it doesn't seem it now Connie, but..."

"Don't you dare say it gets better Charlie. Just don't even think about it."

"Alright, alright. Connie I know its hard and I can't pretend to understand but I do have some insight."

"You had to suffer for what 2,3 hours at best. That's nothing! I'd give anything to swap, anything." She then continued to stare out the window until they reached Charlie's house. "Why are we here?! I wanted to go home."

"We thought it would be better if you stayed with me."

"Oh you did did you? No I want to go home, take me home Charlie! Please"

"Fine if that's what you really want."

"It is I want to be alone." He then drove her back to her house and she got out bidding him goodnight he watched as she walked to the door. When she was inside she again poured herself a large glass of wine in the hope to numb the pain she felt and the emptiness. She then got out her phone flicking through all the selfies they'd taken together and stopped at one from just before Grace left for America, the memory of a happier time threatened to absorb her until she could take it no more her fist punched into the glass cabinet next to her, shattering it and leaving shards of glass in her hand. She just stared at her hand before carrying on drinking, she got through two and a half bottles before she finally collapsed on the floor letting the numbness overwhelm her.

An hour later Charlie pulled up outside her house, he'd been sat at home and eventually it got too much for him. He couldn't leave her in that state so he'd got back in the car and driven back. Knocking on the door there was no reply and he started to worry, there didn't seem to be any sign of her. He considered giving up but then he noticed a shadow on the floor in the hall and knew he had to get in.

He searched all around outside trying to find a key but had no luck so eventually he decided he'd have to find another way in. Just as he was about to give in Connie neighbour came out.

"Hello? Can I help you?"

"I'm Charlie Fairhead, a nurse where Connie works and her friend. I came to see her and she seems to have collapsed."

"Oh I have a key, I'll let you in. But you're on your own pal I don't want to be involved in her mess."

"Thank you" Charlie nodded as the neighbour let him in and left. Running over to Connie he noticed a faint pulse and her hand was bleeding, he found a first aid kit and started patching her hands up as he frantically called an ambulance.

A little while later Dixie and Iain ran in "Right what have we... Charlie? Connie? Did its Connie" Iain yelled "Collar and board quick." Dixie came running in and they headed off, "Better give them a heads up Charlie."

"Can't we take her to St James's?"

"There's not time Charlie."

"Of course sorry I'll call them." He did so as they hurried. Arriving at the ED Zoe was waiting with Rita, Cal and Robyn "Straight through please Dixie what have we got?"

"Connie Beauchamp age 45, severely intoxicated. KO'd at the scene, weak pulse regained consciousness in the ambo but was confused, significant blood loss from the right hand with glass imbedded. GCS of 9 his B/P is 85 over 60, his sats are 95. She refused pain relief."

They started treating her as she lay unconscious. Half an hour later Connie woke up to see Rita checking on her.

"Ah Connie, you're awake at last."

"W-what h-happened?"

"Charlie found you unconscious at home, passed out from a lot of alcohol, we had to pump your liver. You also had a lot of glass in your right hand which resulted in significant blood loss. We've patched you up but you'll be groggy for a few days."

"How much alcohol?"

"Enough to almost kill you so I must ask were you trying to take your own life?"

"I don't know. I honestly can't remember. Maybe, probably. Its a very high chance. I miss her so much all I can remember is drinking wine to numb the pain and then waking up here." She started crying from shock "what am I doing Rita? Ever since I became clinical lead it all went wrong for me. Everyone hated me more, Jeff, Hailey Blake, Grace, Alfred, Prison and Grace again."

"Its alright, we're all here to help you."

"Even you? After the way I've treated you?"

"Even me I know we haven't always got on and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for what I did to you and I hope we can start again?"

"Maybe we can. I'm sorry for how I treated you the other day."

"Its fine, you're grieving you have an excuse."

"Not really but thank you for saying so"

"Truce?" Rita asked Connie just nodded in reply as Rita put an arm round her.