(A/N: It's been a while, and let me say first of all that I HATE the new layout. It was going to be even longer until I posted, as I find myself in the middle of both finals AND moving the plan was to focus on that. But, since I am such a dedicated author (read: procrastinating like mad) here is a chapter soon than I'd planned!)

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They sometimes fought, as all couples do. The specific reasons were usually as trivial as the ensuing conflict was dramatic; neither of them might even remember what started any given fight, but the conflict itself was highly memorable.

It goes without saying that Envy could be quite moody, and at times was filled with a surly, untraceable dissatisfaction, which seemed to have no cause and yet applied to everything. That was the Envy which the rest of the world knew.

If Kimblee ever brought Envy's behavior up, it was usually defensive. He learned very quickly that there was no arguing with Envy when the homunculus was in a bad mood, anything he said, even if it was reasonable, only added fuel to the fire. Inevitably, Envy snapped, and the underlying discontent came to the surface. Envy never attacked him physically, but the verbal onslaughts were little better.

In the face of Envy's anger, Kimblee tended to go quiet. Nothing he said helped; in fact he stood to lose a good deal. He was far from certain that conflict between them would not escalate to bloodshed if he provoked Envy, and this was unacceptable. As far as he was concerned, violence had its place, and that place was not between him and his lover. It was for practical reasons more than ideological ones: at a certain point, one has to trust that the person they're sleeping next to won't slit their throat, or things just don't work. Especially because, in the end, Envy was more of a danger to him than he was to Envy.

This is not to say, however, that he merely took anything Envy dished out. Envy got mad, Kimblee got revenge. He did not engage Envy when Envy went off on him – and not afterwards, either. When Envy made him mad, he shut Envy out. Anger, for Kimblee, was whatever made the object of anger suffer to the greatest extent. In Envy's case that was rejection. Something as simple as the silent treatment might have struck him as pedantic in terms of revenge-taking, had it not worked so well. Why engage in combat, when Envy could be brought so low, just with a bit of cold shoulder? When to do nothing at all was more painful than any bodily harm he might inflict.

If Envy's anger was fire, than his was freezing chill. Envy might rant and rage and storm off in a huff, but it was never more than a day before Envy was back at his doorstop. He could predict almost to the hour that quiet, almost timid tap on his door. The sound itself was reticent, an apology. But the door never opened. There was usually a second knock, a few minutes after the first; as though Envy was making sure he heard. He did. And the door still didn't open.

He wondered if Envy would ever go father in either direction – either try and force its way in, or cease to show up at his door each night. Neither thing ever happened. Envy never did more than knock, and never did less, either.

He was not pitiless – in general or when it came to Envy in specific. He was quite capable of mixing the two, ruthlessness with sympathy, punishment with love. His cruelty fed his pity, and he waited until it outweighed his abiding anger before he relented. What was the point of making up, if he still harbored resentment? Envy would just have to wait, however long it took.

Even when he did open the door, he wasn't about to act like nothing had happened. He was still reserved, as Envy stood on the threshold. Access to his home and good favor was not given away for free; Envy had to earn it back.

"Do you have something to say?"

"I'm sorry."

When he relented and let Envy in, he spent the rest of the night soothing its battered nerves. Envy always spent the night in his bed, but make-up sex was not a reality for them - not the first night following a feud, anyway. Envy was tense and brittle, still frozen; physical contact was simply to thaw out.

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It was one of those nights, where the light was on under the door, but it did not open.

At least I know he's here. Envy must despondently, hand still resting lightly on the wood, as though poised to knock again. It leaned its head against the door a moment, closing its eyes. It knew it door wasn't going to open, but Envy still lacked the will to leave. This was as close to him as Envy was going to get. What was the point of going anywhere else?

"Could you getany more pathetic?" Pride muttered from nowhere in particular.

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"So, he dumps you and you come running to me for comfort?"

Greed had discovered Envy sitting crouched down in a dark corner of the bar.

"He didn't dump me and I'm not here for you." Envy snapped, glaring up at him.

"Oh? Why are you here then, the ambiance?"

"I'm here because Pride's not."

Pride distanced himself in all possible ways from Greed's 'depravity'. Monique's pub was one of the few places in Central where the shadows were merely shadows.

At this, Greed's expression softened ever so slightly. He took a seat on the floor next to Envy.

"He still butthurt?"

In spite of everything, Envy gave a slight, bitter smile at Greed's word choice.

"You could say that, yeah."

Greed said nothing, simply handed Envy his glass of bourbon. There was a moment of silence, then,

"Just why is he so pissed off, anyway?" Envy never would have deigned to ask Greed's opinion on anything, but having hit rock-bottom, there wasn't much left to lose. "I know he's not happy, but I'm not doing anything you and Lust haven't done plenty of times before."

"You are, though." It was almost funny, Greed reflected, how little Envy knew about itself. "Lust and I have used humans for amusement. She sometimes gets more attached than I do, but in the end they're just diversions. Pets, at best. None of them know who or what we are. None of them would accept it, or even understand it."

He looked at Envy over the tops of his sunglasses, unusually serious. "I'm guessing it's different in your case. You might be fucking a human, but you're doing a lot more besides."

When he put it that way, Envy understood. A little too well.

So I, Envy, am more attached to a human than Greed and Lust have ever been? That's rich.

Envy would be mad at itself if it could. If someone had told Envy this is how things would play out, it would have begged Pride to kill Kimblee, if that's what it took to avoid this: not only falling for a human, but now being rejected by one. Envy was just a bit disgusted with itself, looking at it that way. Not that it regretted anything that had happened. Except the fight. That was indeed regrettable.

Envy took a long gulp of the bourbon. Then choked, coughing spasmodically.

"Too strong for you?" Greed asked, looking at Envy with a frown.

"You…just…gave me something." Envy managed.

"It's just a drink. It wasn't even full." He spoke as much to convince himself as Envy. "Compared to what you cost me last time it's a fuckin' drop in the bucket."

"Drop more than you've ever given me before."

"Don't make me kick you out."

"It's true!"

And it was.

"Don't get used to it."

"Just take it back." Envy thrust the glass at Greed.

"Take the damn drink."

Envy dropped it on the floor to shatter, glaring at Greed all the while.

"Why are you such a bitch?" Greed shouted, jumping to his feet. "It's no fucking wonder he kicked you out!"

"Because you're an asshole!" Envy said, also rising. "It's a wonder everyone doesn't hate you as much as I do!"

They stared at each other, poised to fight. Then Greed realized what had changed. Envy was gendered now. Whether male or female, his sibling was rarely asexual anymore.

And, to complicate matters further, Envy was female at the moment. It hadn't been obvious when she had been sitting hunkered down in the shadows, but when standing up ready to fight, there was clearly more to Envy's chest than muscular pecks, especially when Envy's arms and legs were more slender than usual, and now that he was paying attention her hips were just a bit wider. The smell was also different. It was still Envy's scent, but underlined with pheromones not normally present; also not something he would have noticed had he not been looking for it.

This was a complication for two reasons, the first of which being that he hated to fight women.

The second reason was a conflict of interests. He wanted her, suddenly and intensely. And yet knew he stood to lose more than he gained in that desire. He recoiled from the craving reflexively. He had never wanted Envy. He had told himself it was because of Envy's spite, bitterness and ugly self-loathing. But in fact, he realized, it had been because there had been nothing there to want until now.

It wasn't a lie. He told himself. Just a mistake.

He'd mistook himself for being smarter than he was. He had never wanted to want Envy. But it didn't matter, because all the years, the decades, the century and a half of that mistake was coming back to bite him in the ass, now that he was faced with something he wanted and should have had a long time ago.

So. He couldn't fight Envy. And all hell would break loose if he did anything else with Envy. He made the only choice available to him, which was to turn and run from the pub.

Envy stared after him, utterly confused.

"What the hell?"

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Knock knock knock!

Kimblee was sitting on the couch in the living room, various notes and sketched transmutation circles and diagrams spread out in front of him on the coffee table, along with a cup of tea and the remains of dinner. It didn't sound like Envy's knock at the door, but he still didn't answer, late as it was.

Knock! Knock!

Sounded rather insistent. Perhaps it was his neighbors complaining once more about all the boisterous late nights. They would have their quiet tonight, at least.

Crash – WHAM!

Or not, as his door was kicked in.

"We need to talk." Greed said, striding through the now unobstructed doorway.

Kimblee covered his face with one hand, briefly. After parting ways with one angry homunculus, he was in no mood to deal with another. "Was it really necessary to break down my door?"

"You're an alchemist, just clap and fix it."

It was easier said than done, but Greed didn't seem in the mood to have that explained.

"What's so pressing, then?"

"I warned you." Greed said, pointing at him. "I warned you about the monstrosity's shitty attitude. You don't get to back out now!"

"Quite frankly, it's none of your business."

It was as close to angry as Greed had ever seen him; he was surprised, but unfazed. What was his anger, compared to Envy's?

"It is my business, even if I don't like it. If you're dealing with Envy, you're dealing with all of us."

Kimblee frowned slightly. "Even if that's the case, what does it matter to you? What are you getting out of this, oh avaricious one?"

"Envy, being a bitch to someone who's not me."

"You've survived this long. I'm sure you'll manage." He stood up and walked past Greed to where his door lay on the ground, lifting it from where it had fallen. "Hold it in the frame, will you?"

Greed did so while Kimblee repaired the splintered wood and bent hinges. It wasn't his best work; the door still showed that it had had alchemy used on it. But at least it functioned as a door again. With that done, he turned to Greed once more.

"So, you're offering me relationship advice? Somehow I doubt your credentials, unless your suggestion is to watch what you do and then do the opposite."

"Just because we don't get along doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about." Having spent decades as Envy's Ultimate Punching Bag, he knew the patterns of his sibling's anger like the changing of the seasons. "I don't know what you're fighting about, and I don't want to know. Like you said, none of my business. But it doesn't matter, because the real problem lies elsewhere."

"When Envy's angry, the problem seems to be everything and nothing."

"That's because you don't see the whole picture. Like I said, when you deal with one of us you deal with all of us. Envy's problem is Pride."

"I assume you're referring to a sibling rather than a personality trait."

"Right. Envy's personality is beyond help, but as far as family goes I can give you a few pointers. Pride isn't stupid. He knows that he can't kill you. He knows that Envy can't kill him. And, he knows that Envy vents frustration on whatever happens to be nearby."

"I don't follow."

"It isn't that complicated. Pride is a bitch to Envy. Envy is a bitch to you. If you come to a bad end because of Envy's temper, Pride gets what he wants, without harming a hair on your head."

"You're saying Pride is trying to goad Envy into killing me?" His voice was dubious. "Seems a bit of a stretch."

"You clearly see a different side of Envy than I do. But even if Envy wouldn't kill you, it's not a stretch to say that a lot could go wrong. The worse that happens, the better he'd like it, but I doubt he's really too picky on the details."

"It still strikes me as a little far-fetched…"

"It's working, though, isn't it? If it seems that unbelievable, apparently Pride knows little Invidia better than you do."

"What is Pride?"

"You don't wanna know."

"And if I do?"

"I wouldn't say it if it weren't the truth. That secret is worth more than your life in keeping."

At that point there came the sound of quick footsteps down the hall, and the ear-splitting cacophony of the door getting kicked in again, by Envy this time.

"Be gentile with it, I paid a lease on this place!"

Envy, however, had no attention to spare for Kimblee, its focus fixed entirely on Greed.

"You fucking snake! You find out we had a fight and you close in the same day?"

Envy lunged at Greed, who dodged, circling back towards the door.

"Easy Leviathan, I'm not stealing your human!"

"No, you're not! You're getting beaten to a bloody pulp!" Envy grabbed the coffee table and threw it at Greed, scattering papers and dishes. Greed ducked, and the table instead hit the wall, creating a second doorway from Kimbee's bedroom to the living room.

As Greed dodged the table, Envy quickly darted up from the other side and pounced on him, and the two homunculi dissolved into a tangle of blows, bites, and foul language. Kimblee side-stepped the humanoid tornado as he darted into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bucket full of water, which he promptly emptied over the battling siblings' heads.

"If you're going to fight,take it outside. I'd rather not be evicted."

His voice was level. He was not dismayed at the fighting itself, only the material damage on his part. Neither Greed nor Envy seemed to know exactly how to respond, merely staring at him for a moment, frozen in the midst of grappling. Greed had apparently been winning; he had managed to more or less pin Envy to the floor, a knee on the small of its back and an arm around its neck from behind. He let loose his hold and stood, shaking the water from his hair in a manner reminiscent of a dog.

"It started it."

"I did not; you started it by coming here!"

"I don't care who started it, I'm ending it."

"Right." Greed turned towards the door. "I'll let you handle it from here on out. Have fun."

As his footsteps had retreated down the hall, Envy's demeanor changed. It looked around at the demolished apartment, noticing with chagrin the hole in the wall, the wrecked furniture, shattered dishes, scattered papers and broken door. And, to top it all off, Envy wasn't welcome there in the first place.

Kimbee's eyes traveled over all these things as well and, finally, onto Envy, crouched in the center of the chaos. Then he laughed, and Envy didn't quite believe what it was hearing.

"If there was ever a doubt we belonged together…"

He took a few steps forward and knelt in front of Envy so they were face to face in the rubble. It was a fitting place for both of them. Envy, if possible, looked even more tense than before.

"Why are you not mad? You should be pissed. You're not being nice because you cheated on me with him, are you?"

"No."

"I'll pay for the broken stuff." Its eyes fell. "And leave now, if you want."

"Or you could stay, and tell me about Pride."

A flicker of surprise passed across Envy's face.

"What did Greed tell you?"

"Not much. Merely that you might have something to tell me."

"Pride is just pissed, the same as he has been. I wonder if Lust and Greed had to go through the same thing, the first time they had a partner that wasn't each other…"

"Really? The two of them?"

"Uh-huh. My family doesn't have incest taboos. We're both more and less than blood relations, and we can't have children anyway so it's not like it matters. She was as close to being enough for him as anyone could be. But that only made it worse, when she still wasn't."

"And would Pride rather see you with one of them?"

"Pride would have me be like himself." Envy smiled, although there was nothing happy in it. "In a lot of ways, I guess I am. Or I was…"

"And then I ruined you?"

"As he sees it, yes."

"And he's making life…unpleasant for you, as a result?"

"It's nothing that bad. Father permitted it, so there's not much Pride can do."

"But he's not doing nothing." Greed had said that Pride was the problem. He didn't lie, and didn't seem to be mistaken. 'Not much' was clearly enough, in this case. Enough to make their lives hell.

"Just talk." Envy said with a shrug. "Which he does. All the damn time; he never shuts up. But it's not as big a deal as Greed seems to have led you to believe."

"What does he talk to you about?"

"He just…reminds me of all the things I already know."

"That humans are inferior?"

Envy shook its head. "Not so much anymore. He gave up on that line of argument when he realized I don't care what you are. He still finds it relevant, but he knows it's not effective."

"What is effective?"

"Only what I've seen, that bonds between people crumble like sand-castles. They can be destroyed by the slightest thing. And how foolish it is, to place faith in anyone…" Envy shrugged again. "Didn't you say the same, that you'd lost faith in humanity? And my kind isn't any better when it comes to personal attachments. We're no worse or better, simply more honest."

"And it leaves you with little faith in anyone?"

Envy nodded.

"What about Greed?"

Envy frowned. "What about him?"

"He was trying to do something right by you tonight. It wasn't selfless, but it was with good intentions."

"For every one good thing Greed does, there are about ten-thousand ways he'll screw you over."

From the sudden heat in Envy's voice, it was clearly spoken from experience.

"You would know." Kimblee said, not willing to make an issue of it. "But don't judge me by the standards of your family. That's just plain unfair."

"But it's the standard I've seen everyone live up to. Or down to. How can I believe this is different?"

"There are exceptions to all rules. You can believe this is different because it is. If you want proof, isn't the two of us being here, having this conversation, proof enough?"

"What about before we were here, having this conversation? When I was kicked out, and Greed was here doing who-the-hell-knows-what, and maybe it wasn't anything bad this time, but what about next time, and the next, and the next?"

"Is that what you're worried about? I'm not going to be unfaithful."

"Among other things. And you say that tonight. What about tomorrow? When there are a million things that can go wrong?"

"I can't tell the future. But I believe what's between us will endure."

"Why?"

"Out of all the things that could have gone wrong, somehow I'm still here, when logic dictates I should never have made it this far. I believe that I was meant to live. And if I was meant to live, then I was clearly meant to live with you. How else would you explain something so bizarre, except that it was fate?"

"I guess both of us exist, even though it's supposedly impossible. You because of the circumstances of your birth, and me because I was born at all." Envy met his eyes, finally. "You really think fate is that kind?"

"Fate is not kind in the slightest. Not to me, and certainly not to you. But it's not all cruel either. It is what it is. And this seems to be it."

"I'm sorry. About everything." Envy gestured at the demolished apartment.

"I forgive you."

He opened his arms, and Envy went into them, burying its face into the crux of his neck, relishing in the smell and texture of his hair. Envy had never known forgiveness, just endless cycles of revenge and resentment.

"Just tell me what's happening from now on. I shouldn't hear it from Greed first."

"I will. I'll get better at this."

"Considering your family, you're not doing so badly as it is."

He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Envy in his arms. It wasn't quite over. They still had a thing or two to discuss, not to mention an apartment to clean. But that could wait.

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway. They both whipped around to see two uniformed men in the entrence.

"Um…we came to investigate a noise complaint…"

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Outside in the nighttime rain, Greed knew Pride was there before he saw him. There was always that chill up his spine, that tension in the pit of his stomach. He knew Pride was there, and had been all along.

"What a kind big brother you are."

"I learned from the best." The word was like bile in Greed's throat.

"I know why you're really doing this. The human might have believed the reason you gave, but you can't fool me. I would have expected Envy to see it too, but Envy has been disappointing in so many regards, a bit of stupidity is hardly shocking."

"I didn't lie to him. My life is a lot easier without Envy bitching at me all the damn time."

"A lie by omission. In honesty you're uncommonly deceitful."

"Oh stop, you're making me blush."

"Your plan won't work. You know that. You know you can't change anything."

"I don't know that I can. But you don't know that I can't."

"We're only what He made us. You will never be more, and if you defy him, you will be nothing."

"You don't understand us as well as you like to believe. Envy's proved that."

"Envy has proven that Envy is weak. Nothing more."

"Strong enough to defy you."

"For now."

"And from now on. I'll see to that."

"Oh come off it." Pride scoffed. "Your hatred for Envy is surpassed only by your hatred of me."

"That's why I'm doing it to spite you. If it means Envy gets to be in wuv and leaves me the hell alone, that's a fringe benefit." He grinned into the darkness. "It's fuckin' hilarious, you know. Seeing you get so bent out of shape. And over a human, no less."

"Enjoy it while you can. Like I said, this changes nothing."

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(A/N: Greed has ulterior motives, and because he does then Pride does too. Not trying to explain what said ulterior motives are here, just show that they exist. And I can't write about any couple without taking them through at least one fight. No relationship is rainbows and hot sex all the time, that's just not how it works. And in my experience, the worst fights can be triggered by the stupidest little details. Thanks to Matty H for pointing out the typos in the previous chapters :)

A little something else: my song for Envy is Faceless, by Red, and for Kimblee Undisclosed Desires by Muse. It's damn hard to find good songs for Kimblee for some reason. And every time I hear Give Me Everything by Pitbull, I can't help but think of Greed in a kind of humorous way. Thanks for reading!)