Now Deidara might be a chick! I'm not sure how I'm gonna pull that off, but I'll try my best... I guess... unless I just make Deidara like some psycho sister to Naruto... or Shishi. Stitch mixed in, and the whole village is fucked anyway. And even if it was Kisame turning into a chick, she might not be very happy with Konoha. What with all the flooding and stuff. Yeah, I think I just killed Konoha as a whole. Buh-bye Konohagakure... it's been... uh, nice I think. I dunno, they fucked Naruto up, so I'm not sure if I should pity them or laugh my ass off. Oh well!

I own nothing but my OCs.

Naruto opened his eyes to see that Gaia was in his arms, a smile on her face as she no longer felt the pain in her head or the voice that always called itself 'mother'. 'You deserve to rest, Gaia-chan.' he thought. He then got up with Gaia still in his arms and began walking. He listened a bit before chuckling. 'Looks like Sakura gave Shishi some coffee. Might as well go, it might be fun to watch.' He slowly sunk into his shadow with Gaia as Temari leaped in and managed to come along with them

(Orochimaru's Beat-Down)

Everyone was in a mixture of awe, shock, fear, and confusion. Here they were, standing behind a blackish barrier made by Sakura, and watching a caffeine-high demon beating the crap out of a sannin. "COME HERE YOU DAMN SCALY BITCH!" screamed Shishi, his entire form growing more and more. He was almost reaching the top of the barrier, and that itself was a few hundred feet tall itself. You could fit a mansion in there!

Orochimaru grimaced as he dodged a giant fist that seemed to be made completely of a bunch of things put together. It was smashed into the ceiling, nearly making them both fall into the already weakened roof. Naruto appeared next to Sakura and noticed that Gaia was no longer in his arms. Looking to the side, he found Temari tending to the girl's slowly healing wound on her chest. It seemed that at first, Shukaku didn't take the time to actually do anything about it. Turning to Sakura, he stated, "So you gave him coffee."

"Yeah. Sugar and cream..." mumbled Sakura as if she were in a daze. She wasn't sure if she regretted giving the demon coffee or not. Watching him cut off a finger from Orochimaru, she decided that she didn't.

"COME HERE ALREADY! YOU'RE ONLY PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE! COME HERE AND TAKE DEATH LIKE MAN! IT WILL BE QUICK AND YOU WON'T FEEL A THING, BUT THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE THE MORE YOU SUFFER. HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" He made blades in his 'arms' that dangled from horrible things that were supposed to be his fingers, swinging them around like they were a million whips. (Kinda how Kratos swings his blades around. If you don't know who Kratos is, then you must seriously move out of whatever rock you're under.)

Orochimaru was officially scared. He couldn't regenerate himself because the youki was eating away at his body, not to mention that Shishi just sliced off his left arm. Deciding he probably should finish this quickly, Shishi roared and sent more stuff at the sannin. Mainly a bunch of paper airplanes, more zanbato, and even a desk. Orochimaru, tired and in pain, barely managed to escape but lost his right arm from the elbow down. He growled and shouted, "It's time to retreat!" His four bodyguards, minus Tayuya, quickly got rid of the barrier and tried to get to Orochimaru, but were intercepted by the ANBU.

He growled more and made a run for it, only two of his guards were able to follow him. The fat one and the guy with six arms were trying to give their master some time to escape, but the ANBU were able to overpower them for a moment. Then they went to the second level of the curse mark, making them more of a problem for the ANBU. Whistling, Naruto ordered two demons to take care of the goons. It seemed rather impressive seeing two demon-wannabes fighting two true demons.

"Quick, he's getting away!" called Naruto while pointing at Orochimaru. He then turned to see that they were about to take Tayuya and the other girl, Karin. "Not them. Leave them." he called while walking to them. He looked at Tayuya, who had a glare that showed she was scared but willing to fight. "Is your name Tayuya?" she continued to glare at him, but flinched slightly. "I'll take that as a yes. My name is Naruto, and I believe your friend is now living under my roof. Her name is Kin, and she speaks a lot about you." he held his hand out to her, her face now one of confusion.

"K-Kin? She's alive?" she breathed out as if not believing it. She shook her head and murmured, "You must be lying! Orochimaru said she died! S-she was killed by-" she suddenly realized who was in front of her. "He told me you killed her!" she hissed.

She blurred out of sight and appeared in front of him, aiming to drive a kunai into his chest. When her hand did meet his chest, there was no kunai there. Instead, the same kunai was pressed to her neck and the guy she was about to stab had different eyes. Eyes that filled her with fear. "I don't suggest doing that again. You don't believe me? Fine. Allow me to show you, Tayuya." he said in a demonic voice as she began to sink into the pool of darkness that appeared below her and the other red-head. "Tell Kin to make sure the kids stay asleep, and that she has permission to fight should anyone come into the house." he added, as she felt herself fall into warmth and comfort of the darkness that belonged to Naruto.

(Stitch)

Somewhere else, a little thing was laughing insanely while blasting, slicing, throwing, and biting all his enemies. It was strange killing people, but he had grown accustomed to it a long time ago. Mainly when Shishi and him were caffeine-powered. Back to the fight at hand, he tucked his hands in before biting his feet, then he rolled like a ball and sliced a few of the legs that he passed using his new blade. Letting his blasters peek out while still rolling, he was soon shooting in every direction and blasting everything and anyone unlucky enough to be in his sight. After that, he jumped up and slammed onto the chest of some random nin, drilling a bit of the flesh and then blasting till he was nothing but a human-shaped cheese.

Some random kunoichi appeared behind him, unsure if she should attack the little blue beast or not. Stitch suddenly turned his head to her and said, "Marponan shitzi!" Oddly enough, she had that unmistakeable feeling of being insulted.

"What the fuck did you just say?" demanded the woman, only to be answered by Stitch leaping at her and punching her on the stomach, sending her flying into some random wall. Stitch laughed and then continued on with his battle, having a bit of fun after years of doing nothing but waiting for a good fight. True, Shishi was a great sparring partner, but it wasn't much fun when your friend was slightly predictable.

(Namikaze Estate)

Kin sighed as she began cleaning up the living-room of her new master. It was large, could probably fit an entire party, had three couches, a fireplace, a portrait of a smiling blond man she knew was the Yondaime Hokage and a woman with red hair. According to her master, it was a family portrait. She didn't get it on the first day, but then noticed that the woman had her hand on her stomach.

Her maid's garb sending a bit of unwanted wind up to her skirt. It was something that that Akyo girl wanted her to wear. And she could tell that Naruto was restraining himself, as he would shiver and breath a bit uneasily every time he saw her. She sighed again It wasn't exactly that she hated her job. Truth be told, she loved cleaning the place mostly because it beat working for Orochimaru in any way. What bothered her was that there was barely anything to do. Sure, there was cleaning, and training once Naruto allowed it, but that seemed to be about it. And now that the two little demon kids were asleep, they weren't making any mess. No mess, no reason to be around. So now she was bored, because there was nothing to-

Thump flop

Kin yelped in surprise when she heard what sounded like a body falling on the couch and another falling on the floor. "Fuck!" came a very familiar curse. Whirling around, she saw the same head of hair she was worried about for the past month.

"Tayuya!" she called, running towards her. Said red-head whirled around was barely able to brace herself before being tackled by a black blur.

"Kin?" asked Tayuya, hearing the barely understandable girl start talking away.

"Oh I'm so glad to see you! Did you meet Naruto-sama? Is he why you're here and- Oh my God! Karin!" she suddenly found the blur next to Karin. "What happened to her?" asked Kin worriedly.

In a slight daze, Tayuya frowned and said, "Orochimaru used her for his stupid resurrection." She shook her head and turned to Kin. "How the fuck are you still alive? Orochimaru said you were killed by that Uzumaki kid!"

"Oh. Well, this Uchiha guy was about to rape me, but Naruto-sama stepped in and beat the crap out of him. It was awesome! I've never seen anything like it! At first I was scared, but he assured me I would be okay and then just let me be. Then he overheard me and Dosu and threatened the stupid mummy when he slapped me. After that, he asked for me to tell him about everything we were planning, and then he forced Dosu into apologizing to me. After that, well... I kinda became his slave..." ended Kin, her face a bit red from embarrassment.

Tayuya was gaping in the meantime. "A-all this time... you were his plaything?" she demanded as her face contorted in anger.

"NO! Naruto-sama is more of a gentleman than the entire male populace of Otogakure! He hasn't done anything perverted... Except when Akyo-san is with him. They usually are together in the, um, bedroom." she said while blushing. Tayuya twitched lightly, but said nothing more when she realized that Karin was groaning. "Karin-chan!" she whispered while moving over to the waking girl. Tayuya also moved but was stopped when Kin said, "There's a first-aid in the kitchen. Next to the fridge, bottom drawer."

Tayuya nodded and ran to get the first-aid. Reentering the living-room, she noticed that Kin was using a diagnosis jutsu.

"She's fine, besides having a small fever, she'll be okay now." said Kin as a smile spread across her face.

"Where... am I?" rasped Karin as her red eyes slowly opening as she blinked in confusion. She turned her head to see her sister and friend looking worried. "Kin-chan... Tayuya-nee... where are we?" she mumbled dazedly.

"You're in Naruto-sama's home!" chirped Kin happily while waving her hand around. "This place is pretty big, so make sure that I'm with you before you go exploring by yourself." she warned sternly, earning a nod from Karin and Tayuya. It was then Tayuya noticed what Kin was wearing.

"Did that bastard make you wear that shit!" she shouted angrily. Looking down at herself, Kin shook her head.

"No, actually it was a girl named Akyo. She's nice and all, but I think she's bi." said Kin while shrugging. Wasn't her business what type of girl Akyo was. Of course, she would sometimes have a strange illusion around her. She made fox ears and tails appear on her for some reason. And it seemed to excite Naruto so far. Funny how people get aroused with funny yet cute things.

(Naruto)

Naruto sneezed for what seemed like the twelfth time that entire day. 'Seriously, I think someone's making a speech about me.' he thought while wiping his nose. He summoned Red-queen and began slicing through enemies like they were made of butter. He wasn't exactly sure why, but had been having a weird desire to slash through flesh. Not through the people he knew of course, but he still wanted to just fight something

Anything!Naruto let a feral grin spread across his lips as his eyes widened, slightly insane. 'I can't remember the last time I had this much fun...' he thought, not once stopping on killing his enemies. "Come on already! FIGHT!" he shouted when he saw a few were starting to run away. He growled and was about to shout some more, but then noticed a pair of snakes making their way into the village. "Bingo!"he murmured while running towards the snakes.

Halfway there, he became a demonic fox again, though not as big as the one when he was in the eclipse, and leaped towards the snakes. His blade on one of his tails, he landed on one of the snakes and began to claw and slice through the snake. It hissed for a while, but soon it, along with its companion, were crushed under a large toad. On top of said toad was none other than Jiraiya.

"You idiot! They were my prey, you stupid pervert!" shouted Naruto while shaking his fist at the sannin.

Down in the underworld, inside the door that was locked and sealed with the strongest locks on the entire world, a woman with red hair was tugging on her grandfathers sleeve while pointing up at the sky that was of the underworld.

"You see that? That is my baby! See how awesome he is? And he has my sword!" she shouted at the old man with greying red hair. He nodded while smiling slightly envious at the sky. He wished he could also fight.

Shinigami was meanwhile crying as more souls began to fall. "Why Kami? If this is about your poodle, I said I was sorry! It was giving me a funny look, so it's not my fault! And it peed on my robes... twice!" he shouted to the sky.

Naruto sighed while shaking his head and noticed that there were fewer enemies than usual. Looking behind him, he noticed some guy charging towards him. Before he could get close enough, a rain of ice-senbon were launched from above, making the man fall with a cry of pain. Looking up, his jaw hit the floor when he saw that Haku was floating in midair, ice on her back making wings while her arms were covered with ice-claws and a crown of ice on her head. "Holy... angel..." mumbled Naruto in a dazed expression.

Haku smiled while blushing and said, "Thanks Naruto-kun. I hope you're okay."

"Okay... me... happy... angel..." mumbled the blond, still not thinking straight. He was brought out of his drooling state when there was a slight shink from where the guy had just fallen. Looking over, he saw that Inari had (gladly) ripped off his formal clothes and was wearing a grey armor underneath, his own zanbato stabbed into the ground because he had just decapitated the nin. The armor consisted of a dark-grey breastplate, grey forearm protectors, and a chain-mail around his neck. "Holy crap!"

"Hey Naruto-nii-san! Have you seen mom?" Naruto shook his head, his mouth having probably gone through the ground by now. "Oh. Well hopefully she'll be around. She's kinda scary when she's unhappy so..."

"GET BACK HERE!" shouted a rather scary blur. Tsunami was wearing a dark-blue breastplate, mesh underneath it, a pair of black shorts, and a gauntlet on her left arm. She was chasing a scared Suna-nin that was running like the devil was after him. "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY BOY!" It was then Naruto noticed the cut running down Inari's left leg.

"I see."

"Uh, Naruto-nii-san? What happened to your eyes?"

"Nothing, just a bit of an ability. Now, let's see what you can do with that blade, Inari." Naruto responded, a smirk on his face as he held his two blades in his hands. Grinning as well, Inari and Naruto began slicing through the rest of the enemies.

Well, I wanted to put this up before christmas! Hope you enjoy it, though it's kinda more of a filler.

Please review! It's like crack, but not with negative effects.

Ja ne!