I was awake, standing in a small clearing that would have been barren had it not been for a few small stones scattered here and there. The trees surrounding were tall, and mist swirled amongst their dark trunks, covering the area like a shroud. Back here again I thought tiredly, always back here again.
The blood and the wound that had previously scarred my neck were gone now, and my fur had returned to its normal dull shade. I almost missed the touch of red, My coat has always been gray and shaggy. It's ugly. I know that I have never been beautiful, but despite knowing this, I do have my eyes. Bright amber, like a fire, they're the only thing I've ever remotely liked about myself.
I didn't feel like getting up, but I knew that lying there would amount to nothing. There's no fighting the inevitable. With the little energy that still resided within me, I managed to stand and face the familiar gloomy forest. As always, the trees loomed above with their dank, dark trunks; the silence overwhelming, and an overall feeling of emptiness hung in the air.
Stepping forward through the surrounding mist, I entered the deeper part of the clearing and broke through the foggy barrier, watching my own paws on the ground as I went. I knew what would be there, but I didn't want to see it. Not now.
A voice split through the silence. "Roxanne, why do you avert your gaze? Here you've kept me waiting all this time, and now you do not even bother to greet me?"
I had been here a few times now, and it was the same each time I visited.
I bet you're wondering how all this happened. It's not much of a story, but I suppose I might as well tell you.
I remember it like it was yesterday, the day I died...
It was only a few moons ago when I ate the rat poison that humans leave outside many of their homes and in alleyways. All the cats here know that we're not meant to eat it of course, but I did. I ate a whole lot of it. As I began my trip home, the poison rook effect and the walls would begin to spin around me as my heart slowed down.
But I was not afraid.
I felt...relief.
Then, I found myself in a peculiar forest, all alone. I didn't know what I was meant to do, or where I was supposed to go. My memory was clear. I had eaten the poison, I had blacked out. So where was I now? Was this forest what awaited death, or was I imagining it all? My curiosity got the better of me and I began to explore. But almost everywhere I looked, I kept finding them- the bodies. My body.
Floating in a pool of water, lying dead on the barren earth, hanging limp over a branch.
I should've felt scared, but mostly, I just felt empty, staring into my own dead, glazed over eyes.
When I entered a certain clearing, I eventually found him. He was waiting there for me in the center of a small, open space between the trees.
"Welcome to my home, Roxanne," He greeted. "I have been waiting for you, my dear. I knew you would turn up one fine day like this..."
This moment was the first of many that I would hear that voice, and see that unnatural figure; it still haunts me to this day. I don't think I can even describe the sound; they had an oddly high voice, but at the same time, there was a foreboding lowness to its tone. Scratchy, yet smooth; it sent a shiver down my spine.
"Who- Who are you?"
"Who do you think I am?"
"...Death?"
The sharp sound of laughter reverberated around the clearing at my small inquiry, and a grin from the figure met my question. "Am I really, Roxanne? Are you that naive?" He tilted his head slightly, voice sharpening. "...Or perhaps you're too stubborn to see what I really am?"
Silence met his words as I tried to determine where I could be and what was going on.
"I've waited all that time for you, and now you disappoint me..."
Every word they spoke sounded like it was laced with venom.
"You shouldn't have wasted your time waiting. I'm not worth waiting for. I'm just nobody, and you... To me, you're just a strange old cat, sitting in the woods."
It came out as a mutter, for though I did not know this unfamiliar place or unfamiliar cat, I didn't want to talk.
"And those flowers at your paws," I muttered, noticing the small bundle of colored plants for the first time. "What are those for anyway?"
"I'm going to put them by your body, dear. After the scavengers have gone."
"I wouldn't bother," I told them, looking up from the offending pile of leaves.
"I hate flowers."
I glanced once more around the area, but was unable to see any sign of life, or even the sky above. For all I could've known, there was no sky.
"What is this place?" I finally asked.
"This, is my humble kingdom," He answered. I could not tell if it was sarcasm, or if he found something amusing in the statement. His voice made it difficult to tell. Nevertheless, I felt that this was no "kingdom".
"I rarely invite cats here," he continued, "Just like you, I enjoy my solitude- But you are a special case, and I am going to make an exception."
Me? Special? His words made me snort aloud, a bewildered sound.
"I can tell you right now that there's nothing special about me, stranger. You must have the wrong cat."
The figure shook his head at my pessimism. "Do not put yourself down, Roxanne. Today, you are my guest of honor," he crooned, gesturing to the forest surrounding us. From what he had said earlier, it didn't look like much of a kingdom. It was dark, and silent... and I hadn't seen a single other animal around since my arrival; there was not even a tuft of grass on the hard, barren earth beneath our paws. The overwhelming silent atmosphere almost seemed to whisper my name, and despite myself, I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest as I continuously believed to see movement in the shadows.
"Is there anyone else here?" I said it hesitantly, not wanting to provoke the tom or anything that might've been hiding into coming out. He only laughed at my question, high pitched and scratchy, his laughter echoed in the silence, giving at least some semblance of form to the obtuse environment.
"Why? I thought you liked being alone? Isn't that why you ran away from everyone?"
My pelt stiffened and I turned away from looking at him, averting amber eyes back toward the suspicious shadows in the trees.
"It doesn't matter..." I returned dully.
"What will happen now?" I had no idea where I was, or why I was there. I...I was dead... So now what? Wasn't there supposed to be some kind of eternal peace? A light at the end of the tunnel? This was not what I expected at all. I don't know what I was expecting. I guess, I thought I would be...done.
"That depends on you, Roxanne. In this forest, there are dark places, paths that lead to things you don't want to see... But there is also something that will make you want to return home, and cherish every single little breath you take. I'm going to make you an offer, Roxanne, it's a chance only a fool would refuse."
Okay... An offer? What could this cat possibly offer me? What did they think I could possibly want? A few fox-lengths away, amidst the misty trees, I was able to make out the shape of another cat- But it was almost translucent. I had to squint to get a better look. There was no sign of consciousness within the ghost-like cat's eyes as it turned away and vanished into the darkness, concealing its half-existent form. I tried my best to conceal my hesitance, luckily I've always been good at keeping a false face.
Was this strange cat really here though?
Maybe this was all a dream after all.
"I still don't really know who you are..."
"I go by many names. I've never paid much notice to what the living call me..." He answered. "But, there is one name the fallen ones use when I speak to them. I find it most accurate... The King of Maggots."
"Is that what you are? Why... maggots?" I questioned fearfully.
"Because they feed on what's dead and gone."
Dead and gone.
I guess that's me.
"Is there...anyone else here?"
Seeing the ghost cat unnerved me, and in seeing it, it had finally occurred to me: was this meant to be my fate? Was this punishment for what I had done?
A hearty chuckle answered my question.
"Why? I thought you liked being alone? Isn't that why you ran away from everyone?!"
I didn't bother answering him. I didn't have to answer.
"I was standing right behind you when you cleared out the remains of that old nest, you know? I stood by your side every night you cried yourself to sleep. I saw everything. I know what you want, but it's not here... It's gone. And it will never, ever come again."
My thoughts returned to the ghost from earlier.
"Am I going to be punished for taking my own life?"
Was I going to be trapped here?
"Most cats would be," He answered. "But not you, Roxanne.
"You see, I've watched you long enough to understand how you feel. I don't expect you to actually believe me when I say this, but I actually have sympathy for you." The tom crooked his head slightly to the side, his smile remained as the only visible thing on his face. "Who knows? I could be your only friend, your only friend in the whole wide world. So, like I said, I am going to make you an offer." The tom rose to his paws and padded closer to me, but I remained fixed in my position. His words had captured me, and for some reason, a part of me wanted to know more.
"What can you offer me?" I asked doubtfully.
"I want to help you, Roxanne. I can give you back your happiness in exchange for one, simple task. Do it and your life will change completely. You will be yourself again, and you will soon forget the sadness that has consumed your heart for years." He returned to sitting up straight, or as straight as what I believed was possible. "I know what you want, Roxanne, but it is not here. It's gone, and it will never come again."
Never again...
"What's your offer? What can you possibly fix that life has already destroyed?" My voice had become soft, but I remained strong, questioning him with all my doubt. I wanted to know. What did he think could ever be fixed? What if I didn't want him to try to fix anything... Life is painful enough; you can never depend on others, only yourself. Other cats only let you down...
"Roxanne, death can fix nothing. But though we are both dead," he confirmed, "I am not death. I may seem like just a strange cat in the woods to you, but I am just as powerful as the stars." Upon saying this he rolled back his head to look up into the darkness with a small quirk at the edge of his muzzle.
"And I chose you, Roxanne." He let his head and body fall, relaxing as he fixed me with a gaze I was unable to see. "I need you to go back and find some cats for me. They're very special, just like you. Only in a slightly different way..." he murmured, tapping a large claw against the ground.
I was baffled by the sudden request. Go back? Other cats? I could hardly leave my own home. I mess everything up, clearly he should've known that.
"I'm a failure... Why would you choose me? Aren't you afraid that I'll let you down with whatever it is you want me to do? I don't see the point in anything. Most days I don't even want to do anything... It's enough of a struggle just to crawl out of bed. I just want to disappear." And I hated everyone else because they knew how to be happy; everywhere I look, I would see cats either enjoying their lives, filled with hope and a will to live, or cats living so pitifully they made me ashamed to be alive.
I don't want them. There's nobody there for me. I. Am. Alone.
"I just want to vanish."
"This is exactly why I chose you, Roxanne. I know how you feel, because I myself felt like this for very long time. You and I are quite similar, you know. If you accept my offer, you will never feel broken again."
It was intriguing to be sure, but I still didn't really know what he was talking about. I had lived long enough to know that things are never this easy, there's always a catch. Besides, he still hadn't said exactly what he wanted me to do. Finding cats couldn't be too hard, but... I'd really rather not go back.
"These cats you want me to find...who are they?"
"Scum that's what they are!" His voice suddenly lowered, and a sneer came across the tom's visible muzzle. "You must constantly be on your guard. They'll want to get close to you, they might even try to pretend to be your friends. But don't let them fool you. They have nothing but cruel intentions. They'll want to hurt you, Roxanne, they'll want to kill you. They all deserve to die."
I blinked at the tom's sudden change in nature.
"Isn't my life bad enough without them?" I gaped.
It all sounded so tiring. I didn't want to deal with cats like that.
"Do not be afraid." He grinned again in another strange shift of mood. "You will have a great advantage over them: they don't know that you know who they are. Do you understand what this means?" he asked expectantly. I could offer no answer and sat impassively as I waited for him to tell me.
"You will become my hunter, punishing cats for their incompetence. A tool of destruction. Trust me, you'll find your purpose in life when you see for the first time how satisfying it can be."
"But...how will I recognize them?"
"There's not a great deal of cats in your lonely life is there, Roxanne? You will know when you see them. We'll make them regret everything they've ever done."
"Are you expecting me to kill them? I'm no killer." A sense of worry had sparked within me as I thought of encountering these horrible cats. I never thought I could ever bring myself to kill another cat, it was too horrible to even think about.
"No, I am expecting you to fight for survival. I know you're not a killer- Quite the opposite actually, you're a good cat. But I also know that you don't want to suffer. These cats will make you suffer, Roxanne; these cats will want to cause you pain. They won't hesitate, and in the end, you might have no choice. If you don't, innocent cats may die. You have the opportunity to make the difference, and have the chance to save yourself in the process as well."
Thoughts of my old home in the city began to overwhelm me, and I thought of all the violent gangs that controlled the separated blocks. They were vicious. I had always avoided them, and for the best too. Everyone did. If given the chance, if someone stepped into their territory, they would kill without hesitation- And to think that there could possibly be cats even worse...
"And remember this, you are not their only victim. If you don't stop them, more death and pain will continue. Innocent cats will die. You have the opportunity to make the difference. And a chance to save yourself."
"I...I can't do this! This is too much. I avoid fights, I've never been in them!" I had never fought a day in my life. I avoided other cats, I lived alone. Why would he choose me?
"Indeed... You are weak," He admitted whilst dipping his head. "That's why I have a special gift prepared for you..."
A gift?
"Immortality. You cannot die, Roxanne. No matter what happens to you, you will always return to life."
"What? This is the last thing I wanted..."
My head was swimming, I couldn't handle this. I had finally done it, I had finally died, and now- Why was he doing this to me?
"Please..." I whispered. "Can't you just let me die?"
"I've made my decision; as long as they are alive, you cannot die."
"That's blackmail!" I shouted, whipping my tail to the side. "You can't do that!"
"It is for your own good. You are not in a position to bargain with me, Roxanne. You will either go and do what I tell you to do, or suffer for all eternity. Forever unable to find the peace you so greatly desire."
It had to be a dream, it all had to be a bad dream. I would wake up and find myself back in my home under the apartment building, and this forest would be gone. It had to be a dream... It had to be. This couldn't be happening to me.
"Come with me, I want to show you something." He began to turn away from me and move off into the darkness of the trees.
I followed him, albeit a bit reluctantly. I didn't want to be alone is all. We didn't go far, it had only been a number of meters before we stopped in a new clearing located beside a river. The water was a dark color, and nothing was visible in its seemingly thick and murky depths. Its stench wasn't easy to miss either. I looked at the river for a short time before I joined him where he sat a few feet away, only as I approached, horror gripped at my chest. There, lying in the dirt was me- Again. A lone crow sat picking at the reeking, decaying body. I couldn't bear to look. I shut my eyes tightly together in an effort to escape the gruesome scene, and also in an attempt to stop my paws from trembling beneath me.
"It's you, Roxanne. Why don't you come say hello?" he meowed, urging me forward toward the figure.
I flinched at his touch and backed away from him and the body, shaking my head in retaliation.
"No! I don't want to see it!" I wanted to keep my voice strong, but all that came out were the wails of a weak, pathetic cat. "Haven't I had enough yet? All those bodies in the forest...This place is- I don't want to be here!"
I couldn't take it anymore. The first ones were bad enough, but this, this is exactly what I had been trying to run away from
"Make it go away!"
He padded behind the figure and sat down noiselessly on the earth. There was no longer any expression on his muzzle, only a single impassive line.
"I thought it would be wise to give you a small taste of the suffering you would endure..." he stated seriously, watching my every move. As I opened my eyes to look at his ghastly figure, the forest began to distort around me. The shadows grew in the mist and spread out amongst the ground. I could hear their subtle whispers in my ear and the sudden chill that racked my body.
"Whether you want it or not, these cats must be destroyed. You don't have much of a choice in the matter. You must stand up for yourself." The shadows danced around me and flashed in my eyes as the trees seemed to close in. I was completely shaken and dismayed, I couldn't take it anymore
"Alright... I'll do you what you want!" I finally conceded. I had shut my eyes to escape the vision, but when I opened them again, the visions were gone. The gruesome remains of my body was gone as well, only he was left in the clearing.
"Wonderful," He purred. "I'm glad you have put your trust in me."
"I don't really have anyone else..."
"Good. Before I return you to your home, there is something else that must be done. You cannot leave this place without a proper exchange." He said it all so quickly that it took me a moment to process.
"Exchange? I don't have anything, isn't this enough already?" What more could he possibly want? I didn't have anything left to give...
"Calm yourself," He meowed, sensing my anxiety. "This is a mere formality. You won't be able to return to life unless you make a proper sacrifice, a soul for a soul, so to speak." As he spoke, he pointed his muzzle downward to where a line of four small stones lay at his feet. "See these stones? Just cast one into the stream, that's it. Like I said, it is just a formality."
That's it? I was surprised, but also a bit relieved. Pushing a stone into the water couldn't be that hard, it sounded simple enough. A sigh escaped my parted jaws as I looked up from the line of stones and into the concealed face of my new acquaintance- If you would call them that.
"Wish me luck, strange cat," I meowed dully.
"I do."
The line of stones suddenly appeared at my paws, giving no detail of how or when they had moved from their previous position at his feet. So many strange things had already happened, it hardly surprised me.
"Farewell, Roxanne. I'm not going to be far, I never have been..."
I glanced down at the stones now lying before my paws, thinking of which I should choose and if there was any importance to which I would choose, but as I looked up again, the cat was gone. I was alone. I eyed the stones for a moment. Why four? They were all exactly the same. Small, round, flat, and smooth to the touch. The cool gray surface of the stones were almost calming to the touch; not thinking too much on the matter, I pulled the first one from the line and over to the edge of the stream, knocking it into the murky water with a small plop. As soon as the stone was swept away by the current, I heard a whisper in my ear, the final breath of an old tom as he passed away in the night.
Shortly after, I found myself back in the city, exactly where I was when I had eaten the poison.
Very much alive.
"Now, now Roxanne, you've done a wonderful job."
I had nothing to say to his praise, instead I mustered all the energy I could to just face him once more.
"Can't you just let me die?" My voice was only a hushed tone.
"We had an agreement, Roxanne; and you are quite familiar with the terms. Dispose of those we need to."
He began to back away into the forest and as he spoke, the familiar line of four stones appearing at my paws as he went. A soul for a soul, as it was so commonly now.
The final stone at the right end was my choice, and with a slight move of my paw, I pushed it into the murky river. The stone landed with a small plop and was quickly swept away, unseen in the dirty, brown mixture. I watched the water flow in silence until finally my vision began to blur and I grew tired. I was used to it now and allowed the feeling to overtake me.
Then, I slowly pulled myself up and opened my eyes. The rain had stopped now, but the cement was still wet from the shower and the color of my blood was still evident in the aftermath. Shivering, I attempted to shake the water from my rain-soaked pelt to no avail.
The fur on my throat remained coated in blood, but any wound that might've existed before was now gone. At least another one was down...I still don't know how I managed it, but I was able to take down the target assigned to me. I got lucky, I supposed, but not lucky enough apparently...
A loud honk alerted me to my location. It scared the living daylights out of me is what it did. One can never get used to the sounds of the city, I'll tell you that much. As if the stench isn't enough already.
I padded down the end of the ally and proceeded to check both ways before turning onto the next sidewalk- you could never be too careful. The humans aren't fond of strays, and running into a dog would not be a pleasant experience to add to the evening.
I had had enough pain today. It was time to finally go home.
PAGE BREAK
Went ahead and bumped it up to M for dark themes. This scene is one of three that will most mirror the original story, I think. The others are more original. This could even be considered a crossover, but I know there wouldn't have a category on here.
-Madmallow