As I guess you've all twigged by now, the updating quickly thing isn't really happening. But MEINE! LEIFE! ISA! BUSSSSY! You've also probably realised that I don't speak German. Maybe will work on that before attempting again...

You wanna know something interesting? This chapter's dialogue is almost entirely lines from the original play, updated into modern English so folks can understand. How cool? So -sticks out tongue- to everyone who thinks Shakespeare is dull. IT'S BLOOMING ENGLISH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! NOT MARTIAN! Ooh, Martian...

Sorry. Got distracted. See ya's, lovely readers (and hopefully reviewers? Please? She says in a very un-diva like voice and bats eyelashes)!

Donna xxx

PS Sorry if this seems a little OOC! But, if the Bard will make his characters fall in love really quickly then I must comply...

Chapter Seven - Of All People

"Are you ready?" Gwen heard Rose whisper in her earpiece, and peered around the corner to make sure.

"Yeah." she replied seriously, "He's in 'is office now, doin' some paperwork. I can see through the window. Is Donna definitely out of the way?"

"Yep." came Rose's reply, "Her and the Doctor just went out for a walk."

"Fantastic. Ianto?"

"Madame Cooper." he replied cheerily in a whisper, and Gwen smiled to herself. Holding her earpiece, she took a deep breath, then: "All right Yan, this is your cue."

And, exactly as planned, Ianto appeared from a door opposite her, carrying several files piled on top of one another, along with a precariously balanced tray of coffee cups. He ambled along perfectly innocently, making sure not to drop anything - until, that was, he reached the door to Captain Jack's office. At this point he let out a perfectly convincing cry, and promptly dropped every single thing he was holding.

Jack was sitting in his office, supposedly doing paperwork whilst letting his mind wander. With a sigh, he looked down at the list on his desk. It didn't even need doing, there was absolutely no point to this. To be honest, was there any point to anything any more? The job he had once loved had seemed strangely boring lately... along with the rest of his life. In fact, at the moment, the only time he was having even an ounce of fun was when he was with Don- No.

He shook the thought from his head immediately, this was ridiculous. You hate the woman, remember? he told himself sharply. Although... she is possibly the only other person around here as clever as me. And she is ridiculously beautif-

This time, he didn't even have to stop himself from thinking that, because luckily something else did that for him. That something being a tremendous CRASH right outside his door, and a cry from someone who sounded suspiciously like Ianto. With a sigh, Jack got up wearily to go and help him pick everything up, but just as he reached the door he heard Gwen approaching.

"God, let me help you with that." she said jovially, stooping down to - very slowly - help Ianto pick everything up from the floor. "How you doin'?"

"Oh, good. Got lots to be gettin' on with, you know..."

Alright. This was enough of the small talk. They had to get started.

Jack sighed again, and turned back towards his desk. They wouldn't need his help. Not many people did, they'd be much happier just the two of them. But, just as he started back across the room, he heard Ianto speak again.

"Gwen," Ianto said, "We were interrupted earlier, you never finished telling me about Donna."

Jack narrowed his eyes. This could be interesting - some juicy new material to work with, perhaps - he was currently running low on topics to tease her about.

"Where's Jack?" Gwen asked hastily, "Not in, is he?"

"No, he's gone out, I think. Why?"

"Well, this concerns him too."

Okay, this was strange. What the hell was this about him and Donna, of all people?

"How?" Ianto asked. Exactly what I was wondering, Jack thought, pressing his ear to the door in intrigue.

"Well, me and Rose have been talking to her, bless her, and she's really quite upset. This thing she's got going on with Jack has gone too far, it's completely ridiculous. I mean, I don't think he even realizes that she's completely in love with him."

Jack, unable to control himself, let out a small splutter of shock, before clapping his hand over his mouth and praying that they hadn't heard him.

They had. Gwen pressed her mouth shut to stop herself from laughing, and even Ianto had to take a moment to compose himself before replying in his regained serious voice:

"Wow. I never thought that woman would be capable of loving anyone."

"I know. But hey, if she had to fall for anyone, how great that it's Jack! Those two are so similar, I think they'd be perfect for each other."

Could this possibly be true? Jack was listening at his door, open mouthed, in complete shock. This was so unexpected, so unlike Donna. The woman always seemed so bubbly, so alive and cheery - how could she have been hiding this? It was too much for him, but when Ianto spoke again he couldn't help but listen on.

"I can't believe he doesn't know. Is she gonna tell him?"

"Noo, no, no, no. She's not said a word, says she never will. It's killing 'er."

"But don't you think he ought to know?"

Hell, yeah! Jack wanted to scream. How could he have missed the signals, and only be finding out about this now?

"God, no! You know him, he would find it hilarious, and tear the poor girl to shreds about it. He'd just mock her more, and that's really not what Donna needs right now."

Did they really think he was such an insensitive jerk as that? To torment a woman who told him she loved him? Of course not. Even if he didn't love her back, he would be nice... but the question was, did he love her back? Could he?

"He always was far too harsh on her. She's so lovely, I dunno how anyone can hate her. Always helpful, kind... and clever. You can't deny that that woman is smart."

"Yeah, in everything but in loving Jack. That wasn't her wisest choice."

"Oh, Gwen, you know we don't choose to fall in love. It just happens. Sometimes it works out well, and then, like in Donna's case, there are times when you fall in love by accident with someone who doesn't deserve you. So, what's she gonna do about it?"

"God, nothing. You know Donna, ever the drama queen. She said she would die if he ever found out, she would die if he didn't love her back, she would die if he did, and she would die if he came after her."

There was a splutter from Ianto.

"I guess we'd better start plannin' that funeral, then."

"Yeah," she laughed, before letting out a huge sigh. "But I am worried about her, Yan. I just hope to god Jack catches on and does the right thing before it's too late, that's all."

"Me too."

Gwen and Ianto paused for a minute for effect, before he was suddenly business-like, "Right, we got everythin'? Come on then. I'll make you a cup of industrial strength."

"Ooh, just what I need. 'Cos coffee solves all of your problems, Ianto."

"Oi! I think it can do..."

As they walked away, their lighthearted voices faded, leaving Jack, absolutely bewildered, to flop back into his seat. This was so unexpected, totally out of the blue. He would have thought it to be a joke, if not for the fact that it was Gwen and Ianto saying it, and sounding deadly serious at that. Oh no, this wasn't a trick - If Rose had heard it too then it had to be real.

They both seemed horribly sorry for Donna, she must be in a really bad state. Sure, many, many women over the years had had crushes on Jack, affairs, mere flings - but never had anyone been properly in love with him. It was such a strong proclamation.

And, to be perfectly honest... Jack thought, If I absolutely had to admit it... Only to myself, of course... It's not as if anyone will ever find out... He sighed.

The feeling was mutual.

Of course he loved her. Of course he did! He had loved her since the moment he met her, so very long ago. Perhaps the way she had been immediately disdainful of him had only made him love her more, but it all made sense now. She was the only one he had ever loved, truth be told. The way her eyes sparkled, the way her smile could light up an entire room, her amazing sense of humour... God, the list went on and on. How could he have treated her so badly for so long while she felt this way? Well, that was about to change.

Full of joy, he stood up, ready to run right down and sweep Donna off her feet. But then it hit him. How utterly ridiculous was he going to look? For as long as everyone had known him, he had done nothing but bad-mouth the concept of love, scorn it and swear he would never be affected by it. How he could have been so stupid, he didn't know, but the fact still remained that he was going back on his word.

Then again, was that enough to stop him going after Donna? Hell no. Jack would let her know alright, she didn't have to suffer any more. She wasn't alone in this. She had to know that. She wasn't alone, and she never would be. Now that Jack had made up his mind, he felt like he had to see her straight away, get this fixed as soon as possible. He and Donna had wasted enough time already, they could hardly spare a second more.

And, it seemed, they wouldn't have to. For at that exact moment, Donna Noble appeared at his door. And all Jack could think was My word, she is beautiful.