"So, Roxanne. I hope that you are feeling better. The well-being and safety of all cats is truly very important to me. I make it my job to take cats in, give them a home, a family. It is remarkable how different we all are, in form and personality. I enjoy being able to meet other cats; I'm sorry for any confusion my group has caused, and I take full responsibility. I hope that no one has offended you in any way."

It turned out that X was the black cat I had run into in the alleyway the other night, though I think a part of me already knew that. I was finally able to go visit him later in the morning at his "den", which was really just an abandoned room in the neighboring building made available due to a broken window. It made me a bit uncomfortable, the way his eyes never seemed to leave me, hardly blinking as they retained eye contact. His words were kind though, laced with the sound of a certain wise air and intelligence. It was really hard to believe he was just like the rest of us, the way his black pelt was shiny and thick, and despite his leanness he appeared healthy. He was an odd breed of cat, unlike any I had seen before. It made me wonder where he had come from.

"No... Its just been a very long, difficult couple of days. I'd really like to return to my home," I replied, hoping that I hadn't offended him. It was nice of him to allow me into his group's home until I was in better health, something I'm sure not many cats would do, but I was fine now.

"Of course, I understand," he conceded, dipping his narrow head respectfully. "And go home you shall, after we've had our little chat. I just need to make sure you're doing well enough to go out on your own-"

His words sparked a sudden flame within me, something that I was sick of hearing and dealing with.

"You want to check and see if I'm crazy."

I had heard the whispers, seen the looks the other cats sent my way. The poison incident was bad enough, but after what had happened last night, no one seemed to be taking me seriously.

"Now, I wouldn't use those terms exactly, but yes. I just want to make sure you'll be okay in the city on your own. You seem like a smart she-cat, Roxanne. I know you're smarter than to mistake rat poison for food. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. I could tell from the moment I met you that you are not 'crazy'."

I didn't really have a choice; when have I ever had a choice?

"Fine. I'll answer your questions, then I'll be going on my way."

"Excellent!" X took a seat on the old, worn down rug of the apartment. I did the same, noting the layer of dust that covered everything in the room. The humans really hadn't been in this place forever. They only really lived in the center of the city now, but I avoided it.

"So," he began in good conversation, keeping eye contact. It honestly felt like he was seeing right through me. "Where are you living at the moment?"

"I don't live in any real block or in a gang, if that's what you're asking. I live alone on the other side of the city; it gets pretty lonely, but I like it that way..." X made a small noise of understanding and nodded. "I mean, I've always liked to be alone. I'm not interested in joining a group or anything, but sometimes I wonder- There's never anyone to really talk to." I shrugged. "Probably leaves me with too much time with my thoughts."

"Maybe you should try to make some friends, join a group. Most are very good, with cats that will help you. Not everyone in this city belongs to a gang," he suggested. To which I only offered a stare in return, I had already said I wasn't interested in any groups.

"Do you live well on your own? Coming by food must be quite hard I'd imagine."

"It can be, but it's hard for all of us. I don't normally find much, some days I'm too tired to even try. I always feel tired, too tired to even get out of my den. I already know what will happen if I do." A part of me felt a bit uncomfortable talking about myself; it was strange, even stranger to have someone listening.

"And what's that?"

"Nothing. Nothing ever happens, it's the same boring thing day after day: finding food, returning home, sleeping, waking up, going to look for more food- And if something does happen, it's never a good thing. Life is so empty, so meaningless here. It's stupid, sometimes I wonder why I even bother going out."

"We all need food to survive, Roxanne. That's simply nature. It seems to me that you feel safer in an enclosed environment, like your home."

"Uh...yeah, I guess." That was kind of an odd statement, but wasn't it the same for everyone? "Outside there's twolegs, dirt, transporters, disease, noise, wind, rain, dogs... You always have to be on your guard, otherwise the city will just swallow you up whole." I wonder how it even came to this, cats living in the city. What was the world like before the humans? I can't even imagine...it's been this way since I was born.

"True, but any situation can be made better. Don't you agree? You seem to hate this city quite a bit, what could make it better for you?"

That question stumped me for a moment. What could make life better? What was it that I wanted? I was always unhappy with the city and the way I lived. What was missing?

"Someone to listen...I suppose, a friend. Someone I can finally trust, but other cats don't like me much. Never have." Who would ever want to spend their time with me? Some mangy, foul-tempered she-cat who can't even stand to leave her den?

"I doubt that," X meowed. "You just need to try to open up more. You're a very likeable cat."

"Please, I know myself."

X didn't appear to be taken back by statement, he didn't seem fazed at all really. His yellow eyes flickered away for a moment to look out the open window. It was getting late, the sky-though normally gray- had a certain orange tint to it. It was actually kind of nice, it was warm. The entire ambience of this place soothed me.

"How are you feeling right now?" X asked, changing the subject.

"Fine. A lot better than I was after the...incident."

"Good! You'll be able to get on well then. Your home is quite far away, I hope you'll be able to make it there safely on your own." His eyes changed slightly for a moment, looking at me with a soft, yet serious expression. "You know, sometimes near death experiences can be a good thing. They make us realize that we aren't ready to die just yet."

"..."

"Why did you eat the rat poison? Surely you were aware of what it would do."

"I guess... I felt like I didn't have any other options left, and I was sick it, living an empty life for nothing. It just happened... I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it could kill me, but I couldn't stop it- I guess I'm not really helping the whole crazy thing, am I?" I laughed a bit, an empty laugh. The kind of laugh you do when you don't know what else to say in an uncomfortable situation. "What about you? What made you want to start a group, where's your family?"

"I'm not sure myself," X admitted. "I was taken here by the humans when I was very young. At some point I managed to escape and made my home in the city. I realized immediately how hard it must be for the cats already living here, so I thought I might make a place where they can be helped." X wrapped his tail around his paws. "What about you? Where's your family?"

I averted my gaze for a moment. Talking about my family was something I definitely wasn't used to. It was one of thoughts that tended to come up when I was alone. Then again, maybe talking about it would do me good. X was strangely calming to talk to.

"I never knew my father; he left when I was very young, so I never had any real feelings about it. He was basically a stranger to me. I remember he didn't even look at me as he passed by for the final time. My mother had already turned away from him, but not me. I still remember that day clearly in my mind. It was a cold, winter morning. Not even the humans' transporters were making a sound. Mom was great though," I smiled a bit at the warm memory. "She was a great mom, but I don't think she ever got over my father leaving. I would see her sometimes...just staring out into the street, watching the transporters zip by. She died when I was about eight moons old."

X's expression hadn't changed, just as it hadn't since we had begun our talk. He did speak up though.

"I'm sorry. It must have been difficult for you. I have only one more question, what...exactly happened last night?"

I knew this was bound to come up. I had made such a big deal of it in the morning. No one was listening though, they all thought I had lost my mind. "After I met you," I told him, "I went back to my den like the other cats said, but I was woken up in the middle of the night. It was the she-cat I had met on my first day here, she said we needed to talk...

"I went after her, it must have been very late at the time because everyone was gone. She led me up the building until we were both standing on the roof. She told me that jumping was the only escape, I tried to stop her, but she... she stepped off the building. After that I went back, I tried telling others about Clara, but no one would listen to me. They all just thought I was crazy."

X blinked and tilted his head slightly. "Are you positive you saw Clara jump off the building?"

I was sick of cats giving me that look.

"You know what... it doesn't matter. It was nice talking to you, but I think it's time I left now." I stood up abruptly; X soon followed suit.

"Roxanne," he meowed, cutting in, "I know Clara quite well. She would never do something like that; in fact, I just saw her this morning. She's fine. I want you to come with me and see her, say 'hello' and make sure she's okay."

"Stop treating me like I'm crazy!" I hissed, flipping my ears back. "-Fine! I don't even care anymore. Let's just make it quick, I really want to go home."

Getting home was my top priority now. I was sick of this place, sick of these cats, sick of everything.

X nodded and padded toward the window, leaping up onto its frame. "Of course." He turned back to look at me and gestured for me to follow. "Follow me."

Together we leapt down onto the metal platform outside the window and made our way down the stairs. X then took the lead, and we headed down the main sidewalk by the road. It was quiet because it was late, but one transporter did speed by. Rather noisily, too. It was sort of nice though, quiet, warm, with that orange blush on the sky. It would be even better once I got home.

X made a turn into an alley and stopped, I padded a bit further ahead of him, looking around the area curiously.

"This is a dead end...?" I meowed, looking up at the surrounding brick walls. Clara was nowhere to be seen.

A shadow fell over me from behind, blocking out the warm sunlight shining into the alley. I turned around in confusion.

X stood calmly ahead of me in the opening.

"I plan ahead Roxanne... I had a feeling about you, and I'm never wrong on these things."

My heart nearly stopped in my chest as fear came over me and X padded closer, yellow eyes now dark in the shade of the buildings. As he did so, I moved back as well, searching for an escape, but I couldn't find any amongst the three brick walls.

"I feel like I really got to know you though. I'm sorry you've had such a painful life."

He was coming closer, I was nearly against the wall now.

"You're a very smart she-cat, but life has taken its toll on you, enveloped you in sadness. There is no way to come back from it... You're quite beautiful, you know, I like your amber eyes, and the way they sparkle in the light."

He was only a few feet away, a changed cat in the shadows of the darkness. "For what it's worth, I would've let you go if it wasn't for Clara..."

I tried to move back, but there was nowhere left to go. His claws struck me hard, a sharp blow to the underbelly, and a rapid slash across the throat. Again and again, he slashed...

My blood stained the walls of that alley.