(A/N:...I...I...I LIIIIIIIVVVVE!)

.

"Oh honey~"

Kimblee had been taking lunch in his office, only to be joined by Envy…wearing a form which, no doubt, had drawn every male eye on her walk up to his office, and probably a few female ones. He promptly forgot his half-eaten sandwich as she shut the door behind her and crossed the room. He rose to greet her, kissing her and pulling her close.

"What's going on here?" He asked, cupping one greatly increased breast.

"Hey," Envy slapped his hand away in mock indignation. "I thought you liked them small."

"I like them. Variety is the spice of life." Undaunted, he resumed his exploration.

"Well." Envy snickered a little as the words came to her, "your life is about to get spicy." Christ on a cracker, did I really just say that?

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise, then grinned. "So did you and he–?"

"No. I did want to, but I…I need you there. It doesn't feel right without you."

"That's easily fixed." He kissed her again, more deeply, pressing her back against the desk. He dropped one hand from her breast, down, under the hem of her skirt and up her thigh.

"Uh…" Envy said, shifting against his growing hard-on. "Don't you want to…save that for later…?"

"No." He said, kissing her neck. In truth, it had been nearly impossible for him to focus on his work after the way they'd left things earlier that morning. Now that she and the opportunity had been presented so perfectly, he simply couldn't resist.

Envy wasn't sure she wanted him to, for that matter. On the one hand, Wrath would have a conniption fit if he ever found out they'd fucked in Kimblee's office in the middle of the day, but on the other hand…damn it, Envy just didn't care. How many tantalizing prospects could s/he be expected to forego in one day? Envy was only, well, inhuman.

Someone opened the door – and slammed it quickly shut again with a noise of surprised embarrassment. The two of them jerked apart like guilty teenagers.

"Um…"

"Right." Kimblee sighed, straightening his uniform. "Shall I see you tonight?"

"Yeah. Meet me at Monique's. Suite four twenty four."

"Yes ma'am."

Envy gave him a final kiss, chaste but lingering regretfully, before turning and walking out. Kimblee wondered if he was going to pay for their indiscretion. On the other hand, maybe people would stop insisting he was gay…

.

Somewhere far - but not far enough - away, Selim Bradly crashed his model airplane into the wall and said a word that made his mother threaten to wash his mouth out with soap.

.

"You'll wear a hole in the rug, pacing like that."

"What's taking him?"

"Maybe traffic's bad. Sit down, would you? You're making me tense."

Envy walked over and sat next to Greed on the couch, back straight as a rod.

"Right." Greed took a sip of his beer. "You could try breathing, while you're at it."

Envy took a deep breath, not having realized he'd been holding it. Then nearly jumped out of his skin when Greed touched his shoulder. "Aagh – what're you doing?!"

"…I was going to give you a backrub." He regarded Envy with an arched brow. "But it seems counterproductive."

"I wish I could get drunk."

"Also counterproductive. You'd just have to pee, during."

"…Good to know, I…guess." Envy rubbed his temples. Could this get any more awkward?

There came a knock on the door, and Envy all but ran to answer it.

"Forgive my tardiness." Kimblee said, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. "This would be the day they'd keep me late."

He pulled Envy into a long kiss, and suddenly the whole situation didn't seem so insane anymore. Envy was on solid ground once again. For a moment Envy buried his face in Kimblee's chest, savoring his scent, the solid familiarity of him.

"Did you miss me?" Kimblee asked, voice teasing but gentle.

"Nah." Envy said, dismissive, still holding on as though for dear life.

"Not even a little?" Kimblee said.

"Maybe just a bit." Envy allowed.

"A tad?"

"A smidgen."

Kimblee held up one hand, thumb and index finger indicating a small amount. Envy indicated a smaller one, then laughed and kissed him, more playfully this time.

When they broke apart, Greed whistled. "Gotta love a man in uniform."

"I've always preferred mine on the floor." Kimblee said with faux lightness.

"Can't argue that." Greed motioned to the couch. "Have a seat."

As they did so, Greed noted the difference in the way Envy moved. His posture was more relaxed, shoulders less rigidly set and breath more even. Neither Kimblee nor Envy seemed to be aware of this, but Greed was obsessed with it, those subtle and undeniable hints at the bond they shared, which he would share too for one night.

"So, are we discussing ground rules?" Kimblee asked. He was seated between Greed and Envy.

"Ground rules?" Envy asked, resting his chin on Kimblee's shoulder from behind, arms wrapped around his waist.

"Anything not okay with any of us." Greed elaborated. "As you probably guessed, I don't have any."

"No killing each other?" Kimblee suggested, stroking one of Envy's hands lightly. He was a fan both of sex and of killing, but of the opinion that the two ought not to mix.

Greed snorted. "Not a typical concern. Yeah, I'm down with that."

"I think I can refrain." Envy allowed. "Just don't call me Behemoth. Or Leviathan. Or –"

"I won't call you anything but your name." Greed promised. "What about you?"

"I won't insult you either."

"No, I meant is there anything you're not okay with?"

"Oh…" Envy bit his lip, thinking. They were going to be having sex – what was left to find objectionable? "Uh…" Envy found he couldn't look at either of them, but addressed somewhere in the vicinity of Greed's shoe. "Can you two not…maybe…kiss on the lips?"

"Sure." Greed said.

"Sounds reasonable." Kimblee said. "Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of." Envy said, a little surprised that Greed had been so compliant.

"Homunculi can't carry venereal disease, can they?" Kimblee asked.

Envy lost his head entirely and doubled over laughing.

"What, are you implying I'm licentious?" Greed said in mock indignation as Envy continued to snicker. "Where do you get these ideas about me? But no, there has yet to be an illness that can infect us."

"Did we break you already?" Kimblee asked, turning to Envy, who was wiping his eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Envy said, waiving one hand dismissively. He was distracted from his mirth by Kimblee's hand on his waist. The touch was feather-light, teasing, sending a shiver up Envy's spine.

"Are you still sure about this?" Kimblee's voice was level, his eyes searching for any hesitance. It made Envy like it was only the two of them in the room, perhaps even in the world.

"I am."

"You can say no at any time."

"I'm saying yes right now."

He kissed Envy once more before standing and offering his hand. "Then, shall we?"

.

(A/N: I know, I know, it's a cop-out, but I wanted to show people that I'm still here. As for the actual sex, I'm working on it but it's very, very slow. For what it's worth, I'm probably more frustrated than anyone about how slow I'm being DX [Also, Kimblee doesn't care tuppence what people think about his personal life, except that it wreaks havoc on his career path.] Thanks for reading!)