From that point on, I realized what that cat had done to me. It wasn't a dream at all, it was real. I was immortal. That was also the day that I had to face a cruel reminder: no one could be trusted. The world is dark, and cold, and cruel; and other cats will hurt you, sometimes for no reason at all. Cats like X... they're sick. My purpose had been shown to me, I had nothing else now.
Sometimes I would see the cat in my dreams- nightmares- or hear his voice in my mind. It took everything I had to convince myself that I wasn't crazy, I couldn't be. Not after I returned to life after dying, twice. I definitely needed to be more careful. Then again, I guess it never really mattered much. He told me what to do, and I did it. I don't know why it was necessary, but it's not any of my business; I needed to do this, or I'd never be able to rest in peace.
I didn't find anything to eat that day, going out was actually rather pointless. Another cat appeared to have discovered my usual spot, and any and all food the humans might've left there was gone. I had the pleasure of getting a bottle thrown at me as well, luckily the stupid human missed and continued on it's sway, mumbling and falling all over the place. Every single day was a struggle, sometimes I didn't even know why I tried.
It was getting late and a storm was coming, and because I had such a bad day, I did what any normal cat would do: I went home. Only this time, the rooftops were my path of choice; no dogs, or humans in sight, the rain clouds were still pretty ominous though. Thankfully I was able to make it home before it started to really pour.
Squeezing through the window, I entered my home; and despite the storm outside, it was actually rather light. I had some food buried in the corner, and it looked like that's what I would be eating. Old, dusty human garbage...
I had just begun to uncover my store when a large shuffling sound caught my attention, nearly making me jump out of my fur. Instinctively I stood taller and faced my would-be attacker, ready to defend myself from whatever or whomever had chosen to invade my home.
To my surprise, it was a she-cat, the likes of which I had never seen before. Her fur was drenched from the rain, but after catching her balance from slipping through the window, she shook it off easily, scattering drops onto the dirt and into my pelt.
"Hello!" she said, immediately taking notice of my presence, though she didn't seem to realize my apprehension. If she did, it didn't look like she cared much. Who just comes barging in to other cats' dens anyway?
She had a simple tabby pelt, light brown in color, but the tips of her paws and her belly were white, and that white also extended onto her chin and face a bit. The first thing that I noticed, however, was the pink band around her neck.
"...Who are you, exactly?" I asked.
The she-cat shook her pelt off again, although less obnoxiously than before, but when she had finished, she sat down and answered my question. Sort of.
"Right, you probably wouldn't remember me..." She meowed, easily settling down now that she was out of the storm. "My name's Bailey. We met a couple days ago, you were actually passed out at the time. How are you feeling? You look a whole lot better. I know it can be hard to find food, and sometimes even the worst of things can look appealing, but you probably had a bit too much, mind you."
"Roxanne..."
At first I had no idea what she was talking about; I had had a long, tiring day and now a strange visitor had suddenly appeared? It took a minute, but slowly the pieces in my head began to click into place."You..." Somehow I had a feeling this cat would've turned up sooner or later, but with everything going on, I had forgotten all about it.
"Yep, it's me. The dumb she-cat who had to go and screw everything up," she meowed, expression suddenly becoming a bit more serious after she let out a small breath. "Look, I understand if you're mad at me, or blame for calling for help and saving your life- But I had other reasons for it too, ya know. It's important...a personal thing. That's why I've been looking for you actually, I wanted to talk to you."
Everything she said sounded sincere, but I still didn't really know what this she-cat was doing, or why she had done what she did. If it wasn't for her, I might've died that day. I was a bit angry...but I was also confused.
"What? Why would you want to talk to me? It doesn't make any sense."
Outside, the rain continued to fall, oblivious to our conversation. This she-cat, Bailey, had been following me that day, but why? How could she possibly have known me? I didn't talk to anybody, I didn't associate with any other cats; it's not like I had a reputation.
Bailey only smiled with understanding, not an overly friendly smile or a fake one; it seemed natural, albeit a bit awkward.
"I'm not from around here," she started, eyes traveling over my den. "I've been trying to find a place to stay, you see, and I was looking for one when I saw you leave this building one day. At first I thought it was uninhabited, but after seeing you I knew I couldn't just barge in. I've been wanting to talk to you about it; actually, I'd really like a place to stay..."
That certainly hadn't been what I was expecting at all. Why here? Surely there were plenty of other places in the city- Much nicer ones I might add.
"But-"
"You've got the room," she said suddenly, "And I can get my own food. Won't that work for the both of us? I'm very neat, and I'm quiet as a mouse. I swear I won't bother you. I can catch my own prey and take care of myself." Her pelt was still damp from the rain.
"I understand what you're feeling, and why you felt like you needed to do what you did. You stray from other cats, you like your loneliness, I get it. But I won't get in the way, I promise. You won't even know I'm here," She meowed positively, though it almost looked like there was a pleading look in her eyes. "...What do you think?"
I could see from the way her wet fur stuck to her bones that she was thin, and that her body was shivering ever so slightly. It made me wonder how long she had been out in the rain. It didn't seem like a bad idea, but how did I know I could trust her, or tell that she wasn't lying? I'm not heartless... It didn't sound like a bad plan. If anything did happen, I could take care of it...
"Well... I guess if you can find your own food..." I murmured, suddenly thinking about how we would even make this new arrangement work, if I decided to do it. We would have to separate our distinct areas, and figure out where we'd each keep our food...
A part of me didn't even know why I was agreeing to this- Of course I say that, but I always knew. Loneliness works in strange ways, I suppose. I just never expected any cat to show up at my home of all places, much less willingly...
"Great!" Bailey meowed. She stood up and walked deeper inside, looking around the small square-shaped area as she pleased. I narrowed my eyes, still not completely trusting of the newcomer when a sudden thought dawned on me.
"You told those other cats you were my daughter... You're a little liar, aren't you?" I accused, flattening my ears back viciously. "How can I trust you? How should I know you won't tear out my throat when I'm asleep at night?"
"Great stars, what's wrong with you?!" Bailey exclaimed, turning to look at me with a sort of strange disbelief. "Tear out your throat? Are you always so suspicious of everybody? If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have saved your life, now would I? I already told you, I'm not from around here. I didn't want other cats to know that; they might try to take advantage of it or single me out or something. It seemed like the easiest thing to say at the time."
She did have a point.
I relaxed a bit, choosing to look vehemently at the four walls surrounding us. "This building is pretty bad you know," I muttered.
"I'm not fussy. It shouldn't be long, about a moon maybe. Anything is better than what I have at the moment," Said Bailey, licking one of her rain soaked paws.
She was awfully nonchalant about everything.
"...Which is?"
"I slept in a dumpster last night." Bailey wrinkled up her nose in disgust at the thought, giving a small shudder. "It smelled awful, and there was this creepy old tomcat there who liked to talk to the rats. You should see him."
Pass.
My eyes were drawn to the pink band strapped around her neck. The only cats you saw with collars were housepets.
Weren't they supposed to stay in their houses? "Why not go find a home with the humans? A she-cat like you would probably get taken in easily." More like, you can always find another home. She clearly had some interaction with the humans before.
Bailey shrugged, pausing in her cleaning. "Nah. I hate being locked indoors, the people just don't get it. I've already had enough time with them, anything else is better."
I twitched my whiskers at that statement.
"Even stinky old dumpsters? With...rats...and crazy weirdos?"
"Jimmy? Oh no, he's cool. He's alright," She smiled. "And he kept the rats away."
To that I had nothing to say. I wasn't particularly interested in her life in the dumpster. There were so many more questions that needed to be answered.
"How did you even find me that day?"
She finally set her paw down and looked at me for a second before breathing out a bit with resignation. "Okay, I'll tell you, but you're not gonna like the answer. I had been tracking you- I'm not some sort of stalker, I swear! I just don't know my way around here that well. My father taught me everything he knows about tracking, he's an expert, one of the best hunters from where I come from. I followed you after you left your home and when I saw you going toward the rat poison, well, you could say I had a hunch.."
"A hunch... Great."
Bailey rolled her eyes a bit, they were green in color. Not like anything you'd see in the city; seasons don't really exist in a land of stone, but we do get the cold of winter. Lucky us.
"I had a hunch that something bad was about to happen. And I was right, wasn't I?" she meowed pointedly, flicking her tail- which I noticed also had a white tip.
What was up with this cat?
"Why do you want to stay here so badly?" I meowed bitterly, honestly becoming a bit frustrated with the she-cat, though this was mainly due to my own confusion. "Let's be honest, this place is falling apart. It's cold, it's dark, it's a bit moldy. This is the old, run-down part of the city where nothing happens and finding food is impossible. It takes forever to get to the center of the city and it's too dangerous to take the main road. Besides, around here I'm known as the mean, wicked, foul-tempered, crazy, old she-cat. They'd throw me to the dogs if they could. I'm not exactly great company for a young she-cat like yourself." With that statement I stood firmly, holding my ground, knowing that none of it could be refuted.
"Who's 'they'?" Bailey asked, tilting her head ever so slightly.
"Cats. Just...cats."
She frowned. "Yeah, well I don't care about 'cats'." She shook her pelt again, and scratched herself briefly before looking back up humbly. "I could use a good cleaning, you can probably smell the rain on me."
"I'm sure you'll change your mind when you look around..."
Bailey quickly rose to her paws, smiling. "I'd love to! And I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think," She added, giving me a small look over her shoulder as she walked past and looked at the area I had set up. A few piles of stuff here and there located beneath one of the tiny windows above; it was an area I didn't really use anymore...
"The window is cracked and it lets in all the cold," I told her.
"It's alright, I like fresh air."
"There's trash lying around everywhere."
"I'll neaten things up," She meowed, crouching down to get a better look at some of the objects.
"It's got a weird smell."
"My allergies hardly let me smell anything anymore."
I sighed, feeling my body deflate.
"Fine. I give up."
Bailey grinned and stood back up, walking back to me with her tail held high in the air. "This area is perfect!"
"Really?" I asked a bit mutedly, honestly surprised. "What about all this...junk?"
"I'll move some stuff to the side if that's okay with you, but I can use some of it. All I really need is a nice nest to sleep in and a roof over my head to shield me from the rain." Bailey nodded a bit to herself and started rustling around in the assortment of old human objects that had piled up against the wall. I eyed her carefully for a moment, trying to figure her out.
"You mentioned some...personal reasons for staying here?" I said casually, watching as Bailey moved. Not only was it good to fill the awkward silence that was building, but I was curious. If she was going to be staying here, then it was my business to know why.
Bailey stopped in her movements to look at me blankly for a moment before shrugging a bit. "Yeah. It's a long story though, don't want to bore you with all that personal crap." She was about to return to moving things around when I spoke up again.
"Well, can you at least give me the short version?"
Bailey was silent for a short moment but turned around again.
"...Yeah, okay. I'm looking for someone. I don't really know them personally, but they're...a friend of a friend. I never actually met this cat, so I don't really have any idea what they look like." She turned her head suddenly to look at a small pile of glass objects and shinier junk."You know this really is a nice spot! I like these bottles over here, they're very colorful. I think I saw the sky turn these colors once, can't really remember the exact ones though... What was I talking about? Oh, right, I don't know what they look like. But I'm a really good tracker, and I know how to gather information; I managed to track them down. From what I hear, he lives in this part of the city. What I don't know is where, or in what block. I just have to explore each one and figure it out, it shouldn't be too hard." It sounded like she didn't really believe her own words. The city was huge after all.
"It sounds like you've come an awful long way... What do you want from this cat?" It had to be something pretty important. No cat willingly comes into the city because they just want to, and I'm a suspicious cat by nature.
"I just want to talk to them," she meowed. Her eyes suddenly looked a bit less light. "They've done something...really bad, something horrible. I just need to talk to him, get some sort of closure. Y'know?"
"Just talk? Really?" I mused, giving the she-cat a doubtful look. She noticed of course, but acted as if she hadn't.
"Yep. I want to see him face to face. That's it."
"You're not in some kind of trouble are you?" More trouble was the last thing I needed. A cat gets enough trouble from living in this concrete forest, I didn't need to get involved with any more bad cats.
"Do I really look like some sort of killer to you, Roxanne?" Bailey asked, as if the answer was an obvious one.
"I don't know. What do killers look like anyway?" Was there ever any real definition to them? No.
"O, you know." She grinned. "Old, gangly, with a nice long scar across the face."
A brief chuckle escaped my jaws, and I shrugged. "I guess. I'm no expert on killers." Not yet anyway. "So, you're a housepet?"
Bailey closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a small sigh of exasperation. "Please don't say that word ever again. Yeah, I grew up with humans, but that doesn't mean I'm some sort of lazy furball who lies around all the time. It's not like it was a choice, it was just the world I was born into. Don't start thinking I'm some sort of cat who had an easy life and doesn't give a care in the world for anyone else."
"Okay," I drawled, there was no need to get snippy."Clearly a sensitive subject for you."
Bailey shook her head a bit and sat down. "You know, just because cats are born into a certain area of life, others always seem to judge their character on that. That if a cat is a housecat, they're ignorant or stupid. You can't generalize like that. It's more complicated..."
I was right about the housecat thing; the question was, why was she here now? Well, I knew why, but it was still a bit odd. "So, what about your family? Are they okay with you being out here?"
"Oh, the humans don't mind; they let us in and out all the time. I lived with my mom and brother too- Well, until recently that is." She flicked her striped tail toward the walls around us.
I suddenly felt a bit concerned; what if they were worried about her? Did she even tell them where she was going? A part of me highly doubted it. "Maybe you should at least go back and tell them, so they know you have a place to stay."
"Yes! This is a perfect spot for me to set up a nest." Bailey exclaimed, having found her way back by the pile, which was now mostly gone; a new space lay in its wake. "Erm... Yeah, sure. That'll be okay I guess. You know, you've been asking me all these questions and I haven't even been able to ask how you're feeling. I mean, you just went through a terrible experience; you barely even survived. I know it's probably a bit out of line for me to ask you this, but... I'm really curious as to why you tried to kill yourself. What made you do that? What did you feel?"
I said nothing for a long moment, it wasn't a question I had been expecting.
"Long story. Wouldn't want to bore you with all that personal crap."
Bailey chuckled lightly a bit and smiled kindly. "Right back at me I guess. I did give you a short version though," she meowed, giving me another pointed look.
"True, but somehow I feel like you left out a few important details."
"Just some of them." She shrugged. "Anyway, I suppose your story isn't really one that can be shortened. Still, if you ever feel like talking about it sometime, I'd be more than happy to listen."
"I'll keep that in mind, Bailey."
With our conversation at an end, and Bailey's area all cleared out, I moved back to the center where I had previously left my dinner. I could hear Bailey padding after me; I guess sharing wouldn't hurt for one day...
"Everything looks great!" Bailey meowed happily, stopping as I turned. So what do you say, Roxanne?"
I turned back to look at her and ask if she wanted anything.
Words cannot explain the sheer horror that gripped me at that moment. My heart stopped completely, and a deep chill rapidly shot through my body and up my spine, leaving my legs feeling weak and shaky. Any words I might've spoken died in my throat.
He was there.
Sitting right behind her. That hideous shape, the familiar cold chill. Slowly, he rose to his paws and moved forward so that his face was just beside her own, whispering something in her ear. All the while Bailey never ceased in talking, until she saw my face.
"I hope you don't change your mind about this- ...Roxanne?"
I stepped back, paws shaking. And just like that, he was gone. Vanished, as if I had never even seen him at all.
"What happened?" Bailey meowed, trying to meet my eyes. "Are you alright?" She began to pad forward, face knit in confusion.
"Go away! You have to go away right now! Get out of here!" I shouted abruptly.
Bailey blinked and took a step back at my outburst, looking confused. "But- Why? What's wrong?"
"You're not safe here. You need to leave right now," I growled. She couldn't stay, not now.
"Please," Bailey pleaded, "I'd really like to stay. It's raining, and I don't have anywhere else to go. Don't throw me out now." Her eyes grew wide, showering both sorrow and desperation. It hurt to look at her, but I grit my teeth and continued on.
"Well you can't stay! You can't! If you don't leave, something terrible is going to happen to you!" She had yet to move, why hadn't she moved?! My nerves were running on end, I shrunk a bit, suddenly losing most of my previous energy. Suddenly feeling tired. "Please, just leave me alone..."
I clenched my eyes shut and held in my claws, unable to hold back this rampant wave of emotion. It was all too much. Everything was too much. "I was perfectly happy before you came. I have my home...I have...I..."
Nothing.
"Just stay away from me!"
"What?" She didn't look scared, or angry. Just confused, unable to understand why I was suddenly rejecting her. How could she?! How dare she- "Are you deaf?! Was I not clear enough?! This isn't a good place for you-"
"Where am I gonna go?!" she suddenly shouted, " It's dark, and the rain is still pouring..."
"I don't care where you go! You can go back to your stupid housefolk for all I care! Anywhere! Just not here..." I muttered that last bit beneath my breath, feeling the anger growing in my body. "I knew you would be one of them... I knew it." I was angry, because I didn't want to admit how stupid I was. Did I really think that anyone would want to spend their time with me? That maybe someone actually cared.
"What on earth are you talking about?" she meowed, shaking her head slightly. "Look, just try to relax, everything is going to be okay..."
"But why you?" I shouted, holding back my emotions as best as I could- Which wasn't much honestly, my voice was shaking just as my paws were. "Why would you do this to me? You have no reason!"
"Just calm down, I'm not going to do anything to you, okay? I just want a place to stay, nothing else. I promise. Stars, I even swear." She padded forward, catching my attention once more. I looked up from the ground. "I won't cause you any trouble. Just take a deep breath and try to explain everything to me, I'm a little confused."
I stood up straighter as I looked into her eyes, seeing nothing hidden beneath them. For a moment I felt hopeful again, but then it suddenly dawned on me.
"Then... Maybe- Oh no..." I backed away from her, trying to look away from those bright, green eyes; full of innocence. "No...no..."
Bailey took another step, and that's when my gaze snapped up again; this time I held it between us, trying to hold back this newfound feeling of pity and despair.
"You're going to die..."
Bailey froze, and a heavy silence took over the den, even with the rain falling outside.
"I know."
It was my turn to stop now.
How could she-
"Yeah... I know." She must have seen my surprise. Bailey looked up and met my eyes with her own, which only looked jaded, albeit a bit surprised, though she did a good job of keeping up the nonchalance that always seemed to be around her. "But how did you know? Are you some sort of mind reader or psychic, or... is it just that obvious?"
"What do you mean? I- I don't know how you're going to die, but..." I stopped, not knowing how I could possibly describe what I had seen without sounding crazy. There was no point in trying.
"...Call it a hunch?"
She chuckled shortly in a hushed tone, shrugging. "A hunch. That's cool. Well I do, I know exactly how. It's already started actually... Other cats have their own words for it, but you probably know it as Ephemioma."