I let her stay.
It wasn't until the next morning that we spoke again. I had only wanted to see how she was settling in, which she had done quite fast by the way, her entire nest was completely set up, aligned up with all sorts of strange human knick knacks. It was...interesting, to say the least.
"You have a strange taste in decoration," I muttered dryly, seeing the newly arranged area for the first time. "Where did you find all this?"
"Like it?" Bailey meowed. She rolled over to face me and rose to her paws so we were on the same level. Outside, it was still raining. "Found it all myself, mostly from all the rooms above us. You don't mind do you? It reminds me of home."
My eyes traveled over the small square-shaped nest lined with objects; there were a few pillows on top of the warm softwood- you could find those all over the place usually- and a bunch of other items that I didn't know the names of. "It's your nest, you can do what you like with it. But I definitely prefer this over lining it with smelly garbage."
Bailey seemed content with my answer, and she appeared to be all settled in and comfortable as well. I guessed it was my time to leave.
"So Roxanne," Bailey continued, "I happen to have caught a nice juicy mouse. That's right you heard me, mouse, and I can't think of anything better to do than share it. Honestly I was going to give it to James."
I blinked.
"Jimmy," she added as an afterthought.
Right, the crazy tom in the garbage bin.
"But I forgot all about it. I went and got it while you were asleep. So...shall we have a little snack then, perhaps we can get to know each other more. I mean, I know I promised not to get in your way, but if we're going to be living together- I mean, I guess you don't have to if you don't feel like it. But since we're going to be here for a while, I thought it won't hurt to talk to each other, right?"
"...Yeah, I guess that'd be all right," I agreed warily.
Bailey's ears perked up and a pleased smile appeared on her face. "Great! I'll get the mouse, we can meet up on that balcony up there. That seems like a good spot."
I nodded briefly, watching as she went to go through her things. It probably would've been best if I went to wait for her up there. I knew what balcony she was talking about, it was really the only one I could go on when it rained because it had a cover. When I wasn't on the roof, it was usually my spot of choice.
"Oh, and Roxy, I should probably tell you this before we start," she turned back to look at me with one green eye. "I promise I won't tear out your throat while your asleep." The side of her jaw cracked into a small smile, and her eyes twinkled lightly despite the darkness, bright with mischief.
"VERY funny, Bailey." I returned, snorting easily as I rolled my eyes. So the kid had jokes.
"No, no, I mean it!" She said again, turning to stand.
I smirked slightly in response. "That's fine, but just so you know," I turned around and headed toward the broken window, looking back at her with my own humor, "I always sleep with my eyes open."
Together we made our way up the numerous floors of the old building, until we finally landed onto one of the place's many empty balconies. The twoleg nests had long since been abandoned, no one stayed here anymore. Our was covered, so the rain wouldn't fall on us, in fact, it was really the only covered one. We were up high now, on one of the highest levels of the place, almost to the roof, but not quite. I actually went up there a lot by myself, its where I did all of my thinking... Or if I didn't have anything to do, I would just...sit.
A few lights were scattered about the blocks below, but not much. The most light came from the interior of the city, but it was off a ways; over here there wasn't much to look at. Everything was worn down, empty, dirty, not another cat or human in sight- You'd maybe see one or two, but not when it was raining.
I always hated the rain.
Bailey and I split the mouse without talking and afterwards we just sat there, relaxing, watching. Bailey sat on the edge with her tail curled around her paws, just covering up their white tips. I opted to stay in the more covered area, not wanting to get wet from the rain.
I watched her for a moment, noting how relaxed she looked. I probably never looked like that. Not a day in my life even, and if there was, well, I sure couldn't remember a time like that.
Being invasive wasn't really my thing, but I figured it would come up at some point, besides, she wanted to talk. "So," I croaked slowly, "The big 'E'...want to talk about it?" I wasn't exactly sure how to talk to someone about such a subject, but it seemed like something that needed to be addressed.
It was a well-known condition, despite being as rare as it is. So-called because it shortens the life span of those unlucky enough to have it. It isn't something that can be caught or transferred; no cat knows exactly why, but some cats are just born with it. It's actually quite sad... The entire body begins to slow down, and then it just...stops.
"I put you in a difficult position, I know. And I'm sorry. It's just that I was really desperate to find a place to stay, I hope you can understand," Bailey meowed, looking away guiltily for a moment. "This is the last and most important thing I have to do...before my time is up."
"It's fine," I assured her, shuffling my paws a bit after a moment. "You seem alright. Its just-" I sighed. "I find it hard to trust cats these days. Maybe its' time I opened my eyes to see that others have problems too. Some, like you, even bigger than mine. What kind is it exactly... If you don't mind my asking?"
Bailey didn't appear to be bothered by the question, not even a little. When she spoke he acted just as happy and normal as she always was, as if we were having a casual conversation about the weather, or food.
"Kidney, her name is Ephemioma."
"Her?"
"Yup," Bailey confirmed. "They're all female the way I imagine it, what with names like Ephemioma, Leukemia, Lymphoma, Carcinoma... Each a goddess of death, ruthless and beautiful."
"You might be right about that, Bailey," I concurred, well aware of each of those, and also a bit intrigued by her ever-growing quirkiness."I'm familiar with Ephemioma... and she's a real piece of work."
"Yeah, and yet she gets to be the go-getter while I'm left sitting on the sidelines. Talk about unfair, right?" Bailey scoffed a bit and absentmindedly looked out onto the city, watching the rain fall.
An ephemeral life...
"How long?" I asked quietly.
"A year, I think. But that was six moons ago so...yeah, not very long." Bailey answered, turning to look me in the eye.
"Is there anything-"
"No. They've tried," she continued abruptly. "The humans tried everything and nothing worked."
A short silence came over the balcony, letting no sound in but the tapping of the rain.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. So am I."
A moment later, she changed the subject. "Do you want to talk about something else?"
"So this cat you're looking for, how are you planning on finding him?" This quest, if you wanted to call it that, seemed really important to her. The city was a big place, a lot bigger than the outer human suburbs, it would take a lot more than six months to search each and every little cranny.
"I don't know yet. A bit of undercover, sneaky-type work perhaps? It shouldn't be that hard, from the way I see it, the cats here have pretty much arranged themselves into blocks right? I know for sure he's in this city, and that his gang is too." I didn't comment on that one. Gangs really weren't the types of cats you wanted to get involved with, I and any other smart cat avoided them. "I was kind of hoping you could give me a hand actually... You've lived in this city a long time right? You must know a lot about the different cats and gangs living here. What about neighbors, you know some of the cats living around here don't you?"
Her question caught me off guard a bit, other cats living around this area never really came to mind. I hardly saw them anyway. "Not many. I never really cared about them. Besides, they've changed over the years too; most cats don't stay in one place long. Plus you've probably also figured out by now that cats around here don't just welcome any and all newcomers and bring them some fresh kill to share or something." I sighed at the expression on her face. "You see a blank face, you give them a blank stare as you pass them across the street, and you forget about them a minute later." I shrugged tiredly.
"That bad, huh?"
I shifted a bit where I sat, trying to come up with something that was even a bit useful. Something I did know. "Well, there's a tom who lives around here, sometimes you'll see him in the alley outside. He comes around every so often to shout in my face. He's a nasty piece of work, but I really don't think he's the cat you're looking for."
"What does he do?"
"I don't know. I suppose he's just trying to survive like the rest of us, real territorial that one. He keeps insisting that the alley belongs to him, but I've been here far longer, that alley is the only way to get in- as you know." Honestly, he was nothing more than a minor pain. Somehow he deluded himself into thinking he owns a part of this trashy city.
"I can't imagine my cat would be the antisocial type... Okay, that's good. That narrows it down some." Bailey said, nodding confidently. "I think we should focus on the "gangs" around here, I know for sure he has to be in one of them. How many are there?"
"Six, I think. Northern, Southside, Eastern,Westborder, Central, and the Outsiders- they're actually a bit farther out than we are. A lot of cats have formed their own small groups as well, but they're not as big or organized as any of the gangs. They're not really the type of cats you want to mess around with..." I didn't like the idea of Bailey going out to poke around their territories, they wouldn't like that. They were dangerous.
"You know what, it's fine. We can talk about that another night, I have plenty of time, there's no need to rush this. Maybe tomorrow we could make a plan together, yeah? You could tell me more about the layout of the city."
It actually didn't sound like a bad idea. It would give me something to do and something to think about. Not to mention it made me feel like I had a sort of purpose, no matter how small it might be. Someone needed me for once. Someone who I could help, not someone like him.
"Sounds good to me, Bailey." I smiled a bit and twitched my ears. It was only then that I noticed. "Oh, its not raining anymore." The noise had stopped and the world had gone quiet, glistening under the streetlights. In some places, you could see the vapor from the rain still, no doubt signaling the approach of an after-rain fog, they were pretty common around these parts.
"Well, I don't mind the rain. Sometimes I even like it; what I don't like is the fog that comes after. Now that I'm actually scared of." Bailey ruffled her fur as if she had gotten a chill. "I got lost in the fog, when I was just a kit," she explained. "I remember I just sat under some stairs crying, thinking some monster would appear and drag me away."
"But now that you're a big she-cat, you know that there are no monsters," I continued for her. Feeling a bit amused by the topic of our conversation.
"Yeah? How do you know?" Bailey suddenly asked, challenging me with a small look. Her words made my mood fall, and I was reminded. I shrugged, suddenly feeling dull as I thought of the world we lived in.
"The only monsters are us. Murderers, killers, thieves... They're the real beasts. So far gone that they're no longer capable of feeling any compassion or guilt. They're the ones we should really be afraid of."
I had caught Bailey's full attention now as she listened, and I looked out upon the city, watching the growing fog.
"But whether they're lurking in the woods, or in the fog, or in the dark corner of an alley, it's all irrelevant. You can't predict what's going to happen. You can't do anything to stop it." I stood up now, feeling tired of sitting, feeling tired of myself, feeling tired of the world.
The truth is that bad things happen and you can't stop them. That's why you can never allow yourself to be too happy, or else when that bad thing suddenly does happen, and intervenes on your happiness and you fall, it'll only hurt more. "
There's only one way, you turn into a beast yourself. And like them, you show no mercy." I finished coldly, turning away from Bailey to look into the open door of the old human nest.
"Where did that come from?"
My tail lashed slightly behind me, tone still low from the thought. "I just don't like murderers," I replied darkly. "They're nothing but... scum." Turning back to face Bailey, I figured now would be a good time to change the subject. "You mentioned a brother, tell me about him."
"Yeah, okay..." Bailey started. "His name's Ricky. He's dead."
"Oh."
"Roxy, are you sure you want to hear about my miserable life? I don't want to bring you down... It's not really a happy story." For someone who usually looked so confident and sure of herself, Bailey looked pretty serious, in a somber kind of way.
"And I'm not really a happy story kind of cat, as I'm sure you've noticed by now."
"I guess so," Bailey admitted. She nodded a bit in acceptance and put one paw over the other. "Anyway, I suppose I would've had to tell you sooner or later. After all, he's the main reason I'm here. I just don't know where to start."
"I'm sure you two must have gotten into all sorts of trouble when you were kits," I stated, hoping that might spark something in the tabby.
"We knew each other, for like, forever. We weren't actually blood related, but we grew up as siblings. It's funny how well we clicked, it was like we really were meant to be related. We were best friends. We thought that one day we might find our own home outside of the human's household, and be happy. I didn't have many friends, partly because I didn't go out as often- wasn't allowed to later on either. He liked to sneak out." Bailey smiled faintly.
"That punk," she muttered quietly in a bittersweet tone. "But it was fine that I didn't have a lot of friends because I had Ricky, I didn't need anyone else." Bailey paused to meet my eyes, looking a bit confident once more. "You know, if there's anything I'm really grateful for in my life, it's got to be being able to have him as part of my family. Some cats go a lifetime without knowing how that feels. I guess I've been lucky." Her voice faded a bit. "But all luck has to run out sometime, doesn't it?"
I frowned a bit, but she was right. Besides, like she had said, this didn't sound like it would turn out to have a happy ending. "How did he take the news?" I asked. I can only imagine what it could be like, trying to tell someone that you're going to die, especially someone you loved.
"He thought I was joking at first. He laughed, but then he got really angry... I told him I was serious, but he still didn't believe me. We had a big fight that night, our first big and only fight. It was awful. He tore up some stuff he was so upset, and he left later; when he came back the next day, he was different. He begged me to get the humans to take me back, to get them to fix it like they did any other time we got sick, but I didn't really want to go back. I did though, for him, and they did a lot of stuff to me. It didn't help; in fact, it just made me feel sick all the time. I felt trapped in there, in a strange place where nothing that happened to or around me seemed real. Maybe that's why I didn't see what my disease was doing to him, or that it was destroying him as well. He...changed."
The fog had grown thicker around us, but we could still see much of ourselves and the balcony, it was mainly coming from below. Bailey didn't seem to notice, too wrapped up by her story to notice, or maybe it was her memories.
"He became obsessed with death. It seemed like death was all he ever talked about, even though it was me and not him who was supposed to die." There was really only one question left, but it had to be asked gently.
"How did he die?"
Bailey was looking at me, but it felt as if she were actually looking through me. I was actually a bit surprised she had been willing to share all of this; I mean, I had never been the particularly open type...
"He was so distant the last few days before he- he died. What I didn't know was that he had been going out almost every night, out into the city far beyond our own neighborhood, like he was looking for something. I don't know what, but I don't think he even knew what exactly... But it eventually found him. Or I suppose I should say, he found him.
"You know about the gangs out there; well, accidently, he stumbled upon one, though I don't know which, and met a cat who calls himself the "Eye of Adam". He's like a god to that group... Apparently they had their own unique views on life, and the way that cats should live it. Anyone too weak, or sick, or young, or unable to live it was meant to die, and when the time came, they would kill those cats who no longer had a place, 'freeing' them. Every cat in that gang has had their own close encounter with death; I think cats mostly join to give each other support you know, sometimes it just helps to meet other cats like you, listen to their stories and learn how they cope with their lives.
"But the Eye of Adam is an advocate of death, he dwells on weakness." Her bright green eyes narrowed suddenly in disgust. "His job is only to give them an idea, to give them a reason to die, and then take care of it himself in the cruelest way possible. Ricky took the bait. Before he knew it, he was completely brainwashed. One day he came up to me and tried to explain his perfect solution to our 'problem', we were both supposed to die together. It was supposed to be a quick and foolproof death, with no chance of us ever being saved. It was really simple... You see, the Eye of Adam and that gang had discovered a special kind of gas that runs beneath the city, a toxic gas that can kill you in less than a minute.
"I told him he was crazy of course, but he wouldn't give up. He reasoned with me, then he begged me, then he flat out just started screaming at me. Finally he said he would wait for me in a place just on the border of the city." Bailey's eyes fell, and her voice had become strained from talking about the subject. "'Right after sunrise, don't be late.'..." she meowed scratchily, attempting to smile even a bit beneath her whiskers.
"Those are the last words he ever said to me. Then he ran off. I cried for hours, thinking I didn't deserve all that from the cat I cared about most in the entire world. A few times I even tried to persuade myself that he was right and I should do it, but I just couldn't. I eventually fell asleep, didn't plan on it. My head was killing me I was so tired... I woke up the next morning, and I could see the sun rising just outside the window. In a panic, I threw myself out of our nest and ran to the city. I needed to stop him. I needed to get there before it was too late. But right there in our home, before I even left, I already knew it was. When I arrived at the old parking lot, it was already bright. After that day, I've never gone there again... There was gas coming out of an open hole in the ground, the only one, and I knew. I couldn't even go near it, because I would only suffer the same fate..."
"Only down in the sewers?" I added carefully, feeling somewhat curious about this 'gas'. I had never heard of it before in my life, and I had lived in the city for a long time, probably a lot longer than many of those gangs.
"That's where most of the pipes run, but yeah. That's not even the real reason though/ The Eye of Adam doesn't want any accidental deaths; the idea is for cats to die willingly and with a clear mind, to embrace it," Bailey finished, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"That's sick."
"It took me three months to finally track him down to this area. Now I'm so close, I can almost smell that creep," she muttered, turning to look out into the city. It seemed like she was done with her story, and I couldn't help feeling sorry for her. I always felt like I had so many problems that I never really bothered to think of any other cats'... To me, I was the only one.
"I'm sorry, I think I understand now," I meowed gently, stepping forward a ways to sit beside her. "He loved you so much that he couldn't bear the thought of having to live without you, and that cat, the 'Eye of Adam', I'm not surprised you want to find him. Hey, I would too. I'm not sure I should believe that you only want to talk to this cat, but it's not really any of my business I guess."
Bailey continued to look out into the city. "Good to know. But I really do just want to talk. I want to face Ricky's killer and tell him what he's done to me." Her last words were said strongly, showing just how determined she was to do this.
"Where exactly does this gas run?" I asked after a moment of looking out into the buildings and lights beyond.
Bailey opened her mouth and stopped for a second."Well... I... I'm not sure if you'd want to know that," she meowed, stumbling slightly over her words.
"I get it. You don't want to tell me because I'm the insane, suicidal maniac, right?" I deadpanned, though my words held a bit of a musing tone, a tired one.
"No Roxanne, I didn't mean it like that," Bailey retorted, giving me a pointed look before she let out a small breath. "Okay maybe to some extent, but replace 'insane' with 'recovering' and 'maniac' to 'victim'. You've only just come back home. Whatever it was that made you do it, you proved you were capable of going through with it. I haven't known you long enough to tell if you're completely over it now and the last thing I want to do is give you stupid ideas, that's what the Eye of Adam does. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of me."
"I learned my lesson. Dying isn't for me."
"I really want to believe you Roxanne, but you have to promise me that you'll never try this method," Bailey returned seriously.
"Alright, I promise that I'll never try this method. Or any other method for that matter. Been there, done that. Didn't enjoy it much. Do you believe me now?"
Bailey looked hesitant for a moment, but she nodded, accepting my response. "Yeah. I think so. Good. I'm glad you said that you know. The gas runs in these small pipes, they go all over the city; the humans have them marked with a little yellow thing, with a black print on it, that's how they know."
Our conversation ended after that, but we were both comfortable with the silence. It was actually kind of nice. I had even considered dozing off, but our peace didn't last long. A loud screeching came from below, the screeching of cats; they sounded like they were going completely wild, afraid.
"What's going on?!" I asked immediately. I got up and went over to the edge beside Bailey, but I couldn't see anything through the fog. Bailey was looking down as well, ears having perked at the first noise of alarm. "Something's wrong, Bailey. We've got to check what's going on."
"Whoa-" Bailey meowed suddenly, looking at me as if I was crazy. "I'm really sorry Rox, but there is no way I'm going out in this fog."
"Fine. I'll go by myself." I muttered, albeit a bit coldly. I was used to other cats blowing me off. Bailey looked like she was going to say something, but I didn't give her the time.
It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but something bad was happening, I could feel it. I had to go down there and check it out, make sure no one was getting hurt. By the time my paws finally reached the sidewalk after traveling down through the building, I realized the fog was a lot thicker than I had thought. I could hardly see two feet in front of me, the entire world just seemed to fade into gray. The fact that it was now suddenly dead quiet was even more unnerving. Keeping my senses up, I padded forward, despite not being able to see much of where I was going. I heard a transporter go past on the street, but that was it. As I continued, I came across a large white transporter sitting on the side of the street, but that was it. Too quiet. I didn't like being out there, it made me feel blind and vulnerable, like I was being watched; which is why I promptly turned to go back to my building when a voice cut through the air.
I swear my heart stopped for a second.
"Thick fog, can't see a thing. Someone could be gettin' murdered only two feet away and n't a soul'd notice..." I looked up to see the source of the noise, a mangy looking tabby sitting atop the transporter. His whiskers were completely frazzled, but despite his unkempt appearance, he still looked well fed. "But still, it could be worse. At least its not rainin', eh? Always look on the bright side, they say. And I always do." He spoke slowly, with broken words. I merely stared a him blankly for a moment, keeping up an intimidating glare. "Not the talkative type r'yeh? What's your name, kitty?" he asked, hopping down from on top of the transporter so he was now standing across from me.
"Don't be such a scaredy cat sweetheart. You're Roxanne, aren't yeh? A kind tom had described t'me what you look like, and I haff to say, he was spot on," the tom mused, looking me over in a manner that made me particularly uncomfortable, and my eyes narrowed viciously.
"What do you want?" I hissed. I didn't like this tom suddenly appearing out of nowhere, talking to me...
"I'm just here with the owner on a job, he got a call y'see, someone sayin' this place was full a' stray cats." I looked behind him and into the transporter door that had been left open, able to see several empty cages lying in its midst. "As for me, I heard there's a crazy cat around here makin' life difficult for evr'one." He paused. "A crazy cat called Roxanne, I was told."
That was the last straw for me. With my heart pounding noisily in my chest I immediately turned to flee, but much to my horror, a human suddenly appeared from out of nowhere in the fog, leaning to grab at me. I slipped to avoid it's grasp and tried to make my escape, but something grabbed at my neck and pinned me down. Before I knew it, I was being handled painfully and tossed into a cage. Then the world went black.