Chapter Eight

"Are you sure this is something you should be doing?" Kaien asked me.

I nodded at him though I was unsure myself. "I have to do it."

"That's risky, Kuchiki," he murmured to me.

"Yes, but turning it down doesn't help me," I protested. "If anything it would just raise suspicion. My brother is the one who wanted me to start taking these lessons, and we all know how skilled he is."

I tried to ignore the look on Kaien's face. I didn't want to see that look of worry on him. Hunting training was something I had to do. In order for me to blend in, I had to become my own destroyer.

"Did you have any trouble making it home yesterday?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not really."

"What happened?"

"I was discovered, but nothing serious really happened." I thought back to Ichigo. "He didn't tell my brother."

"He?" Kaien asked.

"The vampire hunters who are staying temporarily with my brother," I tapped my foot against the cement at the park. "But none of them are on to me."

"If they do, you can always come to me."

Taken back by his words I fidgeted slightly in my seat. "I'll be fine, Kaien-dono, when the time comes."

"It's always better to travel together than alone," he mused as he stood up.

I stood up as well and shook my head. "Thank-you, Kaien-dono, but it would be best if we don't."

Kaien looked at me with astonishment. "You don't want to?"

"My brother already dislikes you," I stated softly. "The whole point is for him to not want to find me."

"Think about it."

He gave me a wave before he took off walking down the park trail and I sat back down.

Travel with Kaien after I finally left the Kuchiki's?

No way; I shook the thought out of my head. The last thing I needed to ignite my brother's ire even more was leaving with Kaien. Byakuya would kill me for leaving with the number one Kuchiki enemy.

"Who was he?"

I looked up to see Ichigo walking up to me with a brown bag and a cup in his hand.

"An old friend," I replied, leaving out specifics.

Ichigo sat on the bench and held the bag out to me. "Here, take one."

"What's this?" I asked, sitting and opened the bag.

"Pastries from Yuzu," Ichigo responded. "She made them for you."

I smiled at Ichigo as I took a whiff of the sweet smell. "Tell her I said thank-you."

He scoffed as he took a sip of his coffee. "Tell her yourself."

"Tell her?" I asked.

"She wanted me to invite you to dinner today." Ichigo looked at me.

"Really?" I asked.

Ichigo nodded. "Dinner starts at seven."

I thought back to Senna. "Ichigo, I-"

"Can't say no," Ichigo interjected. "Yuzu really want's you there."

I bit my lip. It wasn't something I could object to, but if Senna ever found out, training would become a euphemism for murder.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

Ichigo jerked his head in my direction. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because your girlfriend hates me," I replied. "She doesn't like that I'm in the same city as you, let alone the same country."

Surprise colored his face as he took in my words. "Did she tell you that herself?"

I frowned at him. "It is pretty obvious. The point is, it would be best if I didn't. I don't want to give her another reason to dislike me."

Ichigo shook his head. "Yuzu wants you there; so you're going to be there."

I pressed my lips together and sighed. "Okay." I would do it for his little sister.

"And get that idea out of your head," Ichigo paused to take another drink of his "Senna likes everyone."

I rolled my eyes. Senna had him whipped, "Yeah. Right."

"You left early this morning," Ichigo told me.

I nodded. "I wanted to come here then make a stop at the cemetery."

"Cemetery?" Ichigo asked me.

I nodded. "I wanted to visit to my sister."

"Your sister?" Ichigo looked at me with unease.

"After her accident my brother decided it would be best if my sister was buried here, where we were born." I tried to keep my expression free from the guilt I felt inside.

"Then let's go." Ichigo stated standing up.

"To the cemetery?"

He looked back at me.

"That's what you came to do isn't it?" Ichigo reached down and pulled me out of the park bench. "Let's go."

I nodded and followed him.

"I didn't know you were born here."

"Yes, but my sister and I were moved shortly after my third birthday," I told him. "I have almost no real memory of being here."

Ichigo smiled. "You haven't missed anything. I spent almost my entire life here, nothing has changed one bit."

"Almost your entire life?"

Ichigo nodded. "I traveled back and forth for a while. School allowed me to be able to travel with my grades."

"Sounds nice," I commented.

"You get to travel a lot." He alleged.

I shrugged. "It's more like moving too much. I wouldn't call it traveling. I haven't been around any place for too long in order to actually get to see anything."

"So your brother takes you all these places only to relocate you months later?"

"He has his reasons," I mused. "But I'm just so tired of moving. I would love to just stay in one city and make it home."

"Why don't you tell Byakuya that?" he asked.

"Trying to leave the Kuchiki clan is easier said than done." I felt myself slow my walking pace. "They tried to stop me from joining the family, ostracizing me even after I entered."

"Then the more reason you should leave," Ichigo spoke seriously.

"If I told them I was leaving, they would think of me as ungrateful since they were 'courteous and gracious' enough to allow my inferior self to join." I mocked.

"So they hate you for joining and abhor you for leaving even though they never wanted you in the first place?" Ichigo's voice was loud and heated with ire.

I nodded. "That is the way of the Kuchiki. Compassion is not a trait they learned."

"Then leave."

My head snapped back to Ichigo. "What?"

"Leave." Ichigo repeated. "Leave the Kuchiki clan."

"Didn't you hear me?" I asked him loudly. "Leaving is easier said than done! Even if I were to go, my brother would always find a way to find me! Kuchiki or not, I would always be followed and influenced back into the family. Regardless of how far I run, they will have run farther to stop me from going anywhere."

Ichigo reached out for me and pulled me into him. Our faces were almost touching.

"Ichigo?" I asked softly.

"You have to try," he whispered to me. "You have to try to fight for what you want. If you don't, you will regret it. Life is short, go for it."

I gave a slight chuckle.

"What's funny?" Ichigo asked me, a slight smile on my face.

"Nothing," I smiled to him. If felt weird to give him an actual smile. "Thanks."

Ichigo's smile mimicked my own. He seemed to pull himself closer to me. "You're not going to let me in on the joke?"

I shook my head. "It's too complicated for an explanation."

He slinked his hand to the back of my head, pulling me close into his chest. "I'm sure I'll get one someday."

I took in a deep breath of his scent, glad to have him near me.

But he was someone's boyfriend.

I pulled away and caught a quick glance of disappointment in his eyes.

"Let's get going." I expressed to him as I pulled his hand to lead him to the cemetery.

He squeezed my hand as he went in pursuit of me as he trailed a step or two behind.

Ichigo didn't ask me again about leaving the Kuchiki clan. He seemed to agree with me on the same view points of the clan and their odd double standards.

"You're right." I murmured.

Ichigo jerked to a halt and pulled me back, looking at me with surprise. "What did you say?"

"I said you were right."

His eyes were wide, his expression echoing disbelief.

"I should leave the Kuchiki clan," I told him.

Ichigo smirked. "Then when do you plan on it?"

"Soon," I let go of his hand and started walking.

He trailed beside me until we arrived at the cemetery and he motioned me inside and followed my lead.

I glanced around for the trail and started walking, trying to find the biggest mausoleum there was. Ichigo and I wandered on the trail for five minutes before I found it surrounded by a mini-forest of cherry blossoms. Even in death, my brother was around her.

"Why did your brother choose the biggest one around?" Ichigo asked me.

"If he didn't select something so ostentatious, people would question the Kuchiki financial stability," I responded.

Disgust colored Ichigo's features. "Money matters in death as well?"

"To them," I felt no need to defend the family. They were outspoken in their distaste for me and while I didn't wish them any harm. The distaste was mutual.

"You probably wouldn't enjoy the afterlife here then," Ichigo commented.

"I would," I smirked.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at me. "You would?" he asked.

I nodded. "I don't want a service. I don't want to spend eternity laying in a concrete cage with people who hate me. I want my ashes to be scattered across the cherry blossoms on the outside."

I waited for Ichigo to comment. With a brief glance I saw him staring at me with eyes of disbelief.

"If I can't accomplish it in life, then I will in death." I thought of my sister, forever trapped in there. "Only then I can be free."

"So you're not even going to try to be free now while you can see it?" Ichigo asked.

I let out a light chuckle. "I never said I wasn't going to try."

Ichigo was about to speak again when he looked up at the mausoleum doors.

"Let's go in." I told him as I pushed the doors wide opened.

There were minimal lights inside, giving a horror movie atmosphere. Minor spider cobwebs hung on the side of the walls. The path was cracked, a sign of the long time it had spent with the entire Kuchiki family.

"So how far do we have to go?" Ichigo asked.

"To the back," I told him.

"So far?" he complained.

I gave him a frown of disapproval. "Walk faster and it will be shorter."

Ichigo gave a sarcastic laugh. "Then maybe I should carry you then. Otherwise we will never get there."

"Do you want me to hurt you?" I asked him loudly, forgetting where we were.

"You probably can't even do that much damage, can you?"

I gave him a sharp glare. "That's what you think."

I was smug as I took a step further ahead than him. Silence was in the air as we walked, the only sounds were our steps and Ichigo's breathe.

We approached the last tomb, the others around my sister empty. No one wanted to be buried near her since she tainted the bloodline. Hisana would spend eternity alone there.

Ichigo looked around at the empty spots around her, "There's many empty spots around her."

I nodded. "It's always going to be this way."

"No one wants to be buried around her," Ichigo stared at the porcelain with her name engraved on it.

"There's a saying about that." I reached out and touched the cold tile. "It's better to be alone than in bad company."

"Guess it's true." Ichigo gave a quick glance back to the other tombs, "Especially with this family."

"Some aren't that bad. They just care about their status more than personal feelings."

"Two faced people," Ichigo muttered under his breath – unaware I could hear him.

I didn't comment on that.

"It was a car crash," I spoke gravely.

I heard the slight wind change of Ichigo standing straight. I gave him glance out of the corner of my eye.

"That's how it happened."

"Rukia-"

"Because of me."

I almost expected him to run away in disgust.

"After it happened, the Kuchiki alienated me even more. They spoke of me bringing nothing but death, glad it had affected my sister."

A warm hand touched my shoulder, making me give a surprised jolt. I saw Ichigo standing behind me, eyes narrowed together.

"It wasn't because of you."

Now, I scoffed, "Maybe not directly."

His hand gave my shoulder a squeeze, "Rukia-"

I dropped my hand and took a step back to face him. "We should go."

He turned and I followed him out. The sun was bright as we stepped outside.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "You're trailing off the path."

"I know what I'm doing," Ichigo looked back at me. "We're making a detour."

"To where?"

Ichigo didn't answer me and just kept on walking. I kept my eyes on him as I followed to wherever he was taking me. I couldn't see his face, but the way he was carrying himself was low-spirited.

I trailed behind him until he stopped.

"Where are we?" I asked as I stepped around him to what he was looking at.

Ichigo crouched down to the grave in front of him. His lips were turned down tightly in a frown. He reached out and traced his fingers on the engraving.

Masaki Kurosaki, I mouthed, loving wife and mother.

I watched his fingers trace her name a couple of times before he pulled back. His countenance was somber, seeming to have tuned out everything but the image around him. I wanted to speak to him – to give him some words of comfort, but my voice was gone and my body frozen.

I knew the feeling Ichigo was displaying. I could never put it exactly into words, I couldn't even if I tried. It was too painful to remember.

"Ichigo-"

"You're probably wondering why we're here-she's here," Ichigo spoke as he rose to his feet.

"No-"

Ichigo clenched his fists together, shaking as I saw those memories resurface in his eyes. "When I was a child-"

I reached out to him and pressed my hand to his mouth.

Shock passed through me, surprised I had taken that action. I was with the Kuchiki's for quite some time, composure and control was the one thing I was certain I had control over.

Now, I wasn't sure anymore.

Ichigo seemed to mirror the shock I had though it disappeared briefly from his expression. Those memories vanished from his eyes as he concentrated onto me.

I shook my head feverishly. I didn't know how to explain my reaction. I knew how I felt, but for once I was at a loss of words.

"Ichigo, you don't have to explain it to me," I dropped my hand, certain he wouldn't continue.

He looked at me with uncertainty. This was going to be hard for him to explain. Ichigo wanted to tell me but he didn't seem ready to divulge the truth. He still needed to hold on to that memory - to hide it away from the world until he was able to release it, until the pain could finally evanesce.

"I can wait until you're ready," I clarified. "I won't pry it out of you. When you're ready to tell me, I'll listen."

Wonderment was written in his eyes. I gave him a reassuring smile.

The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile.

"That was really cheesy."

I dropped my smile mockingly. "Nice to know that's how you treat people who help you."

Scoffing, he took a step forward. "Let's go."

Rolling my eyes, I followed.