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Chapter 4

A Bad Feeling

"I have to go."

"Five more minutes."

"This is the sixth time you've said that."

"Just a little longer..."

"I should've been there half an hour ago."

"It's still early," Lisa whined and nuzzled his neck.

Remus sighed deeply but tightened his embrace around her. He knew she was being extra affectionate because of all the werewolf backlash they had been dealing with lately, but he couldn't deny he enjoyed it, and couldn't will himself to bring her out of it. And he didn't want to leave either, when it was just so pleasant and warm to sit with her in their worn, sunken-in couch, covered with a blanket and reading, two smoking cups of tea on the table in front of them.

Suddenly, a loud bang came from the door, startling them. The couple exchanged glances and reached for their wands, just as the door flew open and Sirius Black stumbled in, wand held high.

"What the hell, Moony!?" he exclaimed as Remus lowered his. "You were supposed to meet us at the bloody woods; we thought something happened to you! Did you forget what day it is!?"

Remus sighed. "Of course I haven't. I just got a little... held up."

"By what, the blankets?! Get your arse up, and let's go! Wormy and Prongs went to check with the Order HQ and your job, I'll send them a patronus to tell them I've found you."

Remus made to get up, but Lisa's hands clutched his shirt under the covers. He turned to look at her, and she just stared back with those big, brown eyes...

"Sirius, would you mind waiting outside? I'll be there in five minutes."

His friend threw him an indignant look, but Remus' eyes were locked with those of his girlfriend.

"Five minutes!? Moony, have you lost your mind? The moon is about to rise, we don't have five minutes!"

"The moonrise isn't for another hour. Just wait for me, I'll be right there."

Sirius was about to protest, but Lisa and Remus were looking at each other in that way again, making him feel like he was intruding on something private. He muttered complaints under his breath, but turned on his heel and went outside, closing the door of the flat behind him.

As soon as he heard the slam, Remus drew her close and crashed his lips into hers passionately. Lisa's fingers tightened and crumpled the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer as his hands moved up to cup her face. He tasted so sweetly, and she could feel his heart beat against his chest and his ragged breaths echo in her ears. If she could only keep this moment going forever, keep him here, next to her, safe, and warm, and happy...

And then the moment ended, and he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers.

"I have to go."

"... I know."

He left one last, long kiss on her forehead, then he got up and walked to the coat rack, putting on his jacket.

"Remus," she called after him.

"Yes?"

"I... Don't forget your hat."

He gave her a smile and pulled the hat over his head, then swung the door open, only to be greeted by Sirius' ranting.

Lisa sank back into the couch miserably. Maybe it was the stress of the war, or the 'constant vigilance' she was always reminded to practice, but she just couldn't shake this bad feeling in her gut. She stared out the window at the swirling bits of white, sipping from her mug thoughtfully. Remus wasn't serious when he suggested it in May, but Lisa wished more than anything that she really could just wrap him up in blankets and keep him safe at home for the rest of his life. She knew she couldn't, but the idea was so tempting. It would keep him safe from sneers and hostile glares, from insults and curses, from Death Eaters and werewolf packs.

She knew the Marauders would never let anything happen to him on a full moon night, but she didn't like not knowing what was going on. It was a well-known fact by this point that Voldemort was amassing an army of all manner of Dark Creatures, and that he didn't particularly care what they did or where they roamed as long as they answered his call. Literally at every moment, they could run into something out there, and James, Sirius and Peter would have to choose between staying in animal form and risk taking on some Dark Creature without wands or becoming human and having Remus turn on them and try to kill them. Neither option was very good.

A strong gust of wind blew the window open, and Lisa got up and walked over to close it when something caught her eye. A figure was standing under the broken street lamp across the street, snow falling all around it. The person was definitely male, a long black hood covering his features and a thin piece of wood showing from his right sleeve. For a few seconds he didn't move at all, then the head lifted, but the face remained in the shadows. He looked straight up at Lisa and silently held her gaze. Was he a Death Eater? She gripped the windowpane harder, ready to duck if he fired a spell, but he remained motionless. She risked a quick step back into the room to grab her wand, but by the time she made it back to the window, he was gone.

Lisa threw on a coat and ran down the stairs of her building, stopping only when she reached the exit to the street. She peeked outside carefully and cast Homenum Revelio. The street was empty. Cautiously, she walked out and approached the lamppost. There was no sign of the mysterious figure, but there were clear indentations in the thin layer of snow where he had stood. She hadn't imagined it. Someone was watching her.

oOo

"Oh, lay off, Padfoot," James said, throwing a bag of crisps at Peter and taking a seat around the fire Sirius just conjured at the edge of the forest. "So he wanted to get in a snog or two before it was time to go and freeze his arse off in this snow. Can you blame him?"

"He's right, Prongs," Remus said with a sigh, warming his hands on the magical flames. "I should have been more responsible."

"Is there something you don't feel you should be more responsible about?" Peter rolled his eyes and James sniggered.

"Look, mate, I'd get it if you and Fawley needed some shag time, but at least sent a patronus so we don't think a killing curse got you," Sirius said, taking a big swig from a flask of Firewhisky, then passing it around.

"Or so we wouldn't have to listen to Padfoot complain," James threw in. "Talk about fate worse than death..."

"You filthy hypocrite! After all the Evans-pining we had to endure, you have the gall to say I'm the worst whiner?!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly, causing Peter to giggle.

Remus smirked, lifting the flask to his lips. "He's got you there, Prongs."

"I did only moderate complaining, most of the time I was too busy of thinking how to impress her. At least I did something about it, instead of staring holes into her from across the bloody Library and being a spineless git," James said lightheartedly, shooting a glance at Remus.

"At least it took me only about a year to go from pining to having a girlfriend, instead of four," Remus quipped back.

"Pft. As if, Moony, you get no credit there," James said amid his friends' laughter and took the flask Remus handed him. "She did all the work on that one. If it were up to you, you'd still be pining."

"I seem to remember Lily being the one to initiate your relationship as well. Does that mean you get no credit for winning her over?"

"Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty," Sirius cut in just as James opened his mouth to respond, and Peter swiped the flask. "Can't we just agree I am the best womanizer and be done with it?"

"Now that you mention it, you've been suspiciously single this year, Padfoot," James said with a slight smirk. "Have you started considering seeing what playing on the other side is like?"

"I'm not the one who switched sides," Sirius muttered dejectedly against the flask Peter returned to him, but his friends were too busy laughing to hear.

"Yes, but he has shagged more birds than all of us combined. So I'd say he's still 'top dog'," Peter chuckled.

"That's really not saying much, Wormtail. The three of us have collectively shagged two girls so far," Remus pointed out.

"That count would've been higher if you'd manned up in that cupboard with Lila Fenton in fifth year," James said to Remus, who immediately felt the blood rush to his face.

"That was the most embarrassing night of my life, and if you ever—"

"He's turning red as a tomato!" Peter cut in with a loud laugh, clapping a hand to his knee.

Sirius barked a laugh too. "Should've seen his face when I told Lisa about it."

"You told her? When!?" James exclaimed, amused, but disappointed he'd missed that.

"Last New Years, when you were busy snogging Evans."

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that one," Remus said. "She made me tell her about every single romantic experience I've ever had, then laughed her arse off at my expense."

"All of your romantic experiences? Why, that must've taken two whole minutes!" James said and the Marauders exploded in laughter again.

"Speaking of romantic experiences... Wormtail, I saw you with a pretty bird last week. Care to share?" Sirius said with a smirk and draped an arm over Peter's shoulders.

The latter's face instantly turned a very interesting violet-red hue. "She's no one!"

"Didn't seem like no one," Sirius pressed. "I saw you walk her to the door, and you even managed to get a little action. Why are you hiding her from us?"

"I'm not hiding her!" Peter said defensively. "I was planning on telling you... I was just waiting for the right time."

"Our little, Pete – no longer a virgin! I think I just might cry!" James said, patting Peter on the back.

"Who's the lucky lady?" Remus added.

"... Her name is Vanessa. We met a few weeks ago, she works in an apothecary on Diagon Alley. My mother had that itch again, so I went to..."

A white rabbit sprang from a nearby bush and ran between the trees. Remus' eyes followed it, and his attention wandered until Peter's story faded into background noise. Lisa had to spend the night alone. He hated that fact. He hated knowing that she would be all by herself in their shabby, run-down flat in the most dangerous part of the city, while Death Eaters were rampaging every night. It terrified him that while he had to be away, something might happen to her. While he knew she could take care of herself, the image of someone sneaking in and attacking her in her sleep just wouldn't leave his head. He and James had suggested to Lily and Lisa that they spend the full moon nights together for their own safety, but all they got in response were eyerolls and snickers. The two witches both made it perfectly clear in the past that they would not stay away from the action, but Remus couldn't help but worry. No matter how skilled with a wand a person is, during the night, alone, their defenses are lowered, they're vulnerable...

"You really need to stop doing that, mate," James' voice came from his right, and Remus turned to look at him. "You've had that expression every full moon since we left Hogwarts."

"Yeah, if you keep worrying so much, you'll get a brain tumor," Sirius added. "Prongs here has a bird at home too, and he's not half as paranoid."

Remus sighed and looked at the ground. Was he really so transparent to them?

"Lily isn't on the Death Eaters' hit list," he said quietly.

"Doesn't mean they'll show her any mercy," James pointed out.

"But they're not actively searching for her, either. And she lives in an out-of-the-way wizarding village, not in the middle of the worst borough in London."

"Are you worried about muggle criminals?" Sirius scoffed. "You know Fawley's protective enchantments can keep anyone out. Lily hasn't studied defensive magic so thoroughly, so I'd say that's one in Lisa's column."

"We aren't keeping score," James said. "But if we were, Lily's been in more battles, and she's better at healing spells," he added quickly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "They're both fine. They survived the last four or five months, why should tonight be any different?"

Remus sighed. "I don't know. I just have this feeling..."

"You have that feeling every time you have to detach yourself from her hip. Why don't we just teach Lisa how to become an Animagus?" Peter suggested. "That way she can just come with us, and we wouldn't have to be anxious about missing a full moon. Plus, Moony won't be all sullen and worried about her all the time."

"Pete, we can't just take a girl with us on our Marauder time!" Sirius exclaimed. "As if she and Evans don't invade our lives enough as it is. Can't we have at least one thing that isn't stained by the cootie-ridden stink of girls?"

Peter and James sniggered again.

"Grow up, Sirius," Remus said with another sigh.

"Yeah, since when is the cootie-ridden stink of girls a bad thing? What are you, six years old?" James quipped.

"How girls smell is beside the point! The full moons are for the four of us, and no one else!" Sirius insisted.

"We are fighting a war, though. What happens if we're all on missions, and no one is here to roam around with Moony?" James said thoughtfully. "Or if we die."

Peter blanched, but none of the others reacted to this idea.

"Yes, dying would be bad," Sirius agreed. "Oh bloody hell, fine! We'll teach Fawley the intricacies of—"

"No," Remus cut him off. The three men looked at him, but he was staring intently into the fire.

"Moony, what if we just can't make it on a certain night?" Peter tried to say.

"Then I'll handle it on my own. I want you to promise me that no matter what happens, you'll keep Lisa as far away from me as possible during a transformation."

Remus looked at each of his friends in turn, eyes hard. James nodded, soon followed by Sirius.

"But wouldn't it be—" Peter started again.

"No, it wouldn't," Remus said firmly, looking up to the sky and rising to his feet. He could feel the moon drawing near in his very bones and knew it would rise soon. He had almost killed Lisa while transformed in the past, twice. He couldn't stop his friends from accompanying him, but he could sure as hell make certain she never came close enough a third time, no matter what form she took.

oOo

Remus was far from being in top shape the next morning, and even though the rest of the Marauders were also feeling beyond tired, they held on to him and Apparated together to the crummy part of Hackney, where he lived. Knowing that he couldn't climb five flights of stairs in this condition, James and Sirius each draped an arm around their shoulders and helped Remus along, Peter tailing behind them.

"There you go, mate. Another night in which you failed to outrun a rabbit to add to your record, Padfoot," James quipped at Sirius as they let go of Remus, who stood on his shaky legs and fumbled with his keys.

"I could have outrun it, but the blasted things always hide in mid-chase," Sirius said in his defense, making the Marauders snigger.

"Excuses, excuses..." Peter mumbled.

Remus shook his head at his friends' shenanigans, but as his hand rose to the keyhole, the smile fell from his face and his entire body froze. The door was slightly ajar. The keys slipped from his fingers as a heavy, cold feeling spread through his entire body, and before he knew it, the wand was in his hand and he barged in. The scene left him breathless.

The couch where he had left Lisa was ripped in places; the blanket they were covered with last night lay discarded on the ground, dirty and covered in footprints. The table and chairs were all overturned and broken; the floor was covered with smashed pieces of ceramic and flying pages of books.

"What..." came Peter's strangled voice behind him, but Remus ignored him and rushed into the bedroom, his heart beating like a battering ram in his chest.

The traveling trunks that still hadn't been completely emptied since their last move were broken into piles of splinters. Their contents were once again strewed on the floor, along with the bed sheets and the pillows, whose stuffing was scattered around the room in white tufts. Remus' whole world spun wildly, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest.

No. No, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening!

"Moony."

James' voice pulled him out of the pit his mind was slipping into. He needed to keep a clear head. If he untangled this quickly enough, maybe there was still a chance it wasn't too late. Remus spun on his heel and went back into the other room, passing by Peter, who was inspecting the mess in the bathroom. Sirius and James were kneeling next to the blanket on the floor.

"Look at this," James sad as Remus came closer. "Footprints."

The werewolf's eyes swept the dirty green cover. "Three different sets of shoes. Three people. And this," he pointed to one of the prints, "this shape suggests a heeled shoe. Two men and a woman."

"Could be the Lestranges," Sirius said. The three men exchanged grim looks.

"Let's hope not," James said.

Remus stood up, and his eyes darted around the room quickly. The furniture was broken, but other than the usual mysterious spots that had always been there, the walls were clean. There wasn't even a drop of blood in sight. Nothing was burned or cut, or showed any other signs of spell impact. Hope bubbled inside Remus, and his gaze turned to the coat rack. Lisa's coat was missing.

"We need to go," he said shortly and put his wand away. The Marauders looked at him as if he had just announced he was the Dark Lord.

"Go?" Sirius echoed. "Go where?"

"James and Lily's," Remus replied and made for the door. His friends exchanged baffled looks but followed him.

"What about Lisa?" James called after him.

"She'll find us there. There are no signs of struggle, which means she must've made it out before it happened," Remus said confidently. "No matter what went down here, it's unsafe to remain. She'll come to Godric's Hollow when she can."

oOo

"Maybe you should get some sleep?" Lily tried to suggest a few hours later.

The Marauders were all gathered in the den of the Potter Cottage, nursing big mugs of coffee. Peter had lost the battle to exhaustion long ago and was sleeping on the couch next to Remus, a silencing charm making his snores inaudible. Sirius was in danger of becoming the next to fall, as his eyes kept closing for a few seconds at a time before he furiously batted them to blink away the sleep. He did usually go to bed late, though it had been a while since he pulled an all-nighter, and even longer since it was on a full moon, but he was determined to stick it out. James alternated between sitting down and standing up and pacing to keep himself from falling asleep. Remus just sat back on the couch, eyes staring unseeingly up at the ceiling. The shadows under his eyes were more pronounced than ever, not helped by his pale complexion. Even if he closed his eyes, he couldn't sleep. Not while Lisa was missing.

"We're fine, Lil," James said and tried to give his fiancée a small smile. Then he sank back in one of the armchairs with a low grunt and took off his glasses, massaging his tired eyes with one hand.

Lily looked at each of them in turn and wished she could do more than bring them coffee and blankets. She approached the armchair Sirius was currently curled up on and draped a fuzzy brown blanket over him.

"Get that away from me, woman," he said raspily. "If I get more comfortable I'll drift off."

"Depriving yourselves of sleep won't help anything," Lily said gently, but he still shrugged it off. She sighed and gave the cover to Peter instead, sliding down between him and Remus. "She'll be okay," Lily whispered, leaning her head on the werewolf's shoulder. "She's been in tighter spots before."

He sighed. "I know."

That thought didn't make him feel any better. Lily rubbed his arm comfortingly, and he tried to tell himself that he was right, that the clues were all there. Lisa got away. She must have. He needed to believe that.