Dear Anthony

Its been a while, I know you broke contact with me because of my obsession of having you fit in my life. Normally I would begin off with how great you made my life and how much you supported me, but you already know that being the person who did it all. No, I just want to ask your forgiveness for all the things I have put you through and all the pain I caused.

I realised what you said after only coming across the song you sent me 2 months after I said what I said. I don't think I could have handled all that pressure like you did, I remember you broke down twice because of it. Most of it is my fault, I should have been more aware of what you said. I was stupid to not read in between the lines or at least look up those phrases you sent me.

Only now do I understand how you feel, how you felt since you have left me. Maybe not completely, but know this, I am sorry for that. I am sorry you feel like you don't belong in your own family, that even thought they adopted you and chose you to be their son, the didn't accept a part of you. I was selfish wanting to keep clinging to you, I still do want you to talk to me, but its impossible now.

Your not meant to be perfect, we all make mistakes and fail sometimes, its only human to do so after all. I admire you for the way you are able to push yourself to please your parents, sacrifice whatever you need to in order to satisfy them, but you shouldn't always. Be happy for yourself, live like you want and love who you want to, because in the end its your life.

Being bisexual is not your fault, but you can't deny a part of yourself because society thinks its wrong. You hurt yourself too much, and all I ask is that you stop and consider yourself for once. Not others, but yourself. Your an amazing person, loving, gentle, smart, funny and loyal. Whoever wins your heart has gotten something extremely special, a treasure beyond words.

Stay safe and always be you, even if I know I might never be a part of it again, I wish nothing but the best for you. It is the only thing you deserve.

I will always love you.

Drenith

I fight to feel

My heart made of steel

With emotional and mental pain I have to deal

Yet there is nobody to help me heal

Set in a land far, far away

Heart ready for a new journey

But my mind is set to stay

Saying I am not worthy

I fear the road

Disasters in my path foretold

Me, myself and evil to behold

Money...

Its a curse

I find it in every universe

Covering darkness in honey

When its reality is sour

To survive you need power

So it all comes back to money

Close we are, set

In the light of a bet

Lies are told, love

Too pure to behold

I was disposable...

You are unobtainable

Hate

Thy Fate

Don't just fall

Learn to crawl

Life is here

For we must presevere