Present Day
Penelope runs out of the car and into the hospital's front desk, "I am looking for Christopher Morgan—he was admitted through the ER." She says frantically to the front desk attendant.
"Fourth floor Room 431," he replies.
She runs to the elevator with her heels clacking like cymbals. She watches the floor numbers change in the elevator—it has never felt so slow. As soon as the doors open, she looks for room 431.
She sees Derek, Hotch, and Emily.
"What happened?"
"Where have you been?" Derek asked accusingly "I've called you every 5 minutes for the past hour"
"How is he? What happened? I was at a movie -turned off my phone."
"He ate mushrooms from the garden – and then fell," Derek said annoyed.
"Can I see him?" she asked.
"They are pumping his stomach he should be back in 15 minutes or so."
Stella turns the corner and Derek takes in her outfit she is wearing a black shift dress pink, yellow, and green tribal prints, black high heeled sandals. Her hair was in soft waves and she had a lot of eyeliner on. She was -
"You were on a fuckin' date Penelope?"
"What?" She said surprised as Stella's hand rubbed her shoulder affectionately.
"This is fuckin'great! I'm here kicking myself because I don't know the song Chris wants me to sing - the boo-boo song, and you are on a fuckin' date."
"Stay away from her—" Derek told Stella
"Morgan calm down," Hotch instructed as if he was on a case.
"You do know you're still married right, sweetheart," he said with venom. As Penelope walked closer to him to calm him down. He took a step around her and grabbed Stella's jacket collar and pushed him against the wall. "Stay away from my wife or"
"Or what?" Stella asked furiously trying to breakout of Derek's hold
"Derek, leave him alone," Penelope said trying to diffuse the situation.
Derek bashed him against the wall and Hotch pulled him off of Stella, Derek swing at him and punched him in the mouth and he was bleeding.
"Walk it off Morgan," Hotch ordered.
Penelope went to Stella's side. She bent into a deep squat and looked at his lip and cheek. "I am so sorry this happened—I don't know what got into him," she reached in her purse for a tissue and started blotting the blood from his lip.
"Thank god, school is out because this would feed the wives club," Stella said trying to make light of the intense situation.
"Who gets punched on an official non-date," he chuckled and then he felt the pain in his jaw, "ow"
"We are in a hospital maybe we should have someone look at it."
"I'm fine," he assured her.
"You sure?" Penelope asked.
"I'll be right back—"she went to talk to her barbaric husband. As soon as she was out of sight Hotch and Emily descended on him.
"You should go—this is a family situation and you are distracting them from their main concern—their son Christopher," Hotch said politely yet firmly.
"I am not that bad guy here—" Stella started.
"I think you are" Emily quipped back
"—I am her friend too and I care about her kids." Stella said
"Well as her friend you should leave and let her focus on her family. I can call you and give you updates if you like," offered Emily.
Stella looked down the hall and saw Derek in her arms –his head was buried in her neck and he was holding her tight.
"Fine," he said and he turned around and headed towards the elevator.
Down the hall, Derek sits wrapped in Penelope's arms.
"You don't get to do this—we are supposed to be trying to put our family back together – I'm trying," he said softly, "I'm trying."
"I know we both are," she said rubbing his head and back trying to simmer him down.
"I'm not your fucking child, Penelope—I'm your husband."
"I know," she said retreating "I just—"
"I wasn't on a date Derek, I just went to see the new Terrance Malick film and Stella joined me."
"Why was he here then?"
"He gave me a ride—what is this 20 questions?"
"Where was your car? Did he pick you up?"
"Derek," she said tilting her head hoping he would stop interrogating her.
"Answer the fucking question! Because it is pretty obvious to me what's going on."
"No," she said standing up, "I'm going to wait for you to calm down—your being irrational."
"What are using this separation to become DC's community bicycle? I should warn them you are hard to maintain," he said bitterly.
She slapped him—she never slapped him before—she thought about it. When she was mad she imagined it. But never in life did she think she would hit him.
"Fuck you, Derek Morgan," she said in a trembling whisper. She walked down the hall and retreated into the bathroom. She locked the door and paced. She splashed some water on her face and touched up her make-up and returned to her the waiting area. She could see Hotch and Emily talking to Derek – as if he was the only one hurting here. She shook her head and realized how strong she needed to be. As a doctor approached her to give her an update, Derek, Hotch and Emily joined them in front of her son's room.
"Everything went well and he will be coming down in 5 minutes. The mushroom weren't poisonous or psychedelic," he said with a smile, "and we would like to keep him overnight for observation."
Thank you they both said.
When he left Derek said Penelope, "I'm sorry."
"Save it Derek—I don't care anymore," she said flatly
As she looked down the hall Chris was being wheeled down.
"Mommy, sing the boo boo song—" he called from the bed.
She smiled, "Once you get in your room"
"How are you?"
"Hungry," Chris said, as the nurse locked the bed in place.
"Sorry for eating the mushrooms," he said.
"You told me not to eat from Rossi's garden—I didn't know you meant all gardens." Chris said a little too prepared.
"I see you've been thinking about it," she smiled, "– and you found a loophole. Hotch, I think we have a future lawyer on our hands."
"I know," the room said in agreement
"I am sorry, Mommy and Daddy." He said emphatically, "Can you please sing the boo boo song?" Penelope began singing the song.
"I
I will be king
And you
You will be queen
Though nothing will
Drive them away
We can beat them
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
For ever and ever
What d'you say"
"Yes, we can all be heroes," Chris said and gave her a big hug.
He grabbed Derek and Penelope's hands and put it on his belly, "I'm hungry can you feel it."
"You can't eat anything but broth, little man," he said still holding her hand on her Chris's belly. She took her hand away. "I am going to grab your sister and daddy will stay with you... Be back in 45 minutes," she said as she kissed his forehead.
As she walked out the door, Derek grabbed her arm, "I am sorry."
"Don't," she said as she grabbed her arm back, "You shouldn't touch me unless it transactional—code of whores, sluts, and streetwalkers—and I take my work very seriously."
"Penelope, I didn't mean—"
"I just want this to be over," she said, then she walked away. She picked up her daughter from Beth went home and showered. She cried the most hopeless cry, as she couldn't believe Derek called her a whore. He knew that word had power because of how she was teased in high school for being easy—that is why she transferred junior year and fell into writing code. She had to pull it together she told herself.
She packed an overnight bag for the kids and brought some broth and snacks for everyone.
The next morning once Christopher was released, Derek headed to Dr. Frankel's office and wait for him.
"Derek, Do we have a session today?" he asked as he entered the building.
"I feel like I am going to lose it Dr. Frankel."
"Relax sit and explain."
"Did we agree to dating other people?" Derek asked the doctor.
"What do you mean?"
"She went on a date – and I don't remember that being apart of the plan," he paused for seconds that seemed like eternity, "I don't trust her—something has changed."
"Derek explains what gives you pause in trusting people." Dr. Frankel said
"Everyone has an agenda—Everyone wants something. Nothing in this life is free. These are just basic precepts of life- Penelope was the exception to the rule. She only wanted me. Now she's going on dates and I thought the whole point of this was to get us back together."
"It is Derek - Please sit."
"I don't want to sit – See I never wanted to be like Hotch," he said as he continued to pace, "I never wanted the job to become more important than my family. But now, my family is gone. I punched him."
"Who?"
"Penelope's boyfriend—I couldn't help it. He was there at the hospital and I just lost it."
"Hospital? Derek what happened."
Derek went on to explain what happened yesterday and how it was supposed to be Penelope's day for herself and she went on a date with Stella.
"Christopher was sick—my fault because I could not protect him. I could not reach her—and she is wearing this sexy dress, looking beautiful actually, for him."
"Did she call it a date—or did you assume?"
"I don't know" he said, "Something about the way he touched her and she comforted him was too intimate."
"But you aren't sure—you are assuming. The way she assumes something more is going on with you and Tamara."
"This isn't the same!"
"How? Something about the relationship she has with Stella makes you question – your relationship with her. According to you and based on what you said during our sessions—Penelope should just know who you are and that you would never act inappropriately. Can't you extend her the same courtesy? This is what you expect her to do. Like you and Tamara, they are just friends," said Dr. Frankel.
"But they're not," Derek protested
"You have no facts Derek, just a feeling," Dr. Frankel explained
"The looks he gave her and when I told him to stay away from her, he said or what – as if he was challenging me for my own wife," Derek said matter of factly, "To me this wasn't about Tamara – it was about time and commitment to the family. I would never cheat on her—I mean she is my life, my world, my everything—I just didn't want her hold on to me so tight. She started to micromanage me in a way that felt suffocating. Her telling me who to talk to felt like her putting out my clothes in the morning. Yes, I forgot an anniversary or two but I just saw the big picture—we are going to have 50 of them – some better than others. Life has ups and downs—I didn't think it was it."
"It's not Derek—I think you are finally seeing it from Penelope's perspective and she is seeing the relationship from yours. This is a launching point to reconciliation."
"I've already called a lawyer—I can't be with her if she was with him. I would rather be alone for the rest of my days – than have that image haunt me—selfish yes. But she knows that about me—all or nothing," Derek said angrily.
"Derek, you and your wife love each other tremendously. This isn't a fork in the road – it is a bump."
"No, it's a fork," Derek replied.
Penelope took the kids to the park; she played and read to them until she needed a naptime. When they returned home, she made them a late afternoon snack. When they were done eating, they all put on their play clothes and headed to the backyard. Penelope threw on a pink t-shirt, cut off jean skirt, yellow suspenders, and bright-stripped soccer socks (they're like knee highs)—he goalie outfit. She put her hair in two pigtails and gathered the kids.
She played with the kids and it was beyond fun she thought. Her plan was to tire them out but in reality, she was the one in need of a nap. As she got on her knees for penalty kicks, the kids screamed Daddy and ran to Derek.
She got up off her knees and wiped the dirt on to her skirt. As the kids flew into his arms, she felt a pang of guilt. She walked over to them.
"I tried to call but I kept on getting your voicemail so I popped over," Derek informed her.
She reached for her phone and saw it was completely dead. As the kids told him about their adventures, she headed inside to charge up her phone.
"Daddy we're having pizza tonight—can I have your mushrooms?" Izzy asked, "You always give them to mommy but today I want them"
Izzy turned to her mom, "can I have daddy's mushrooms?"
"Is that your way of telling me your hungry?" Penelope said.
"Can you stay for dinner D?" she asked.
Yes, the kids screamed in unison.
As the kids, set the table Penelope asked Derek if he wanted beer or wine. He chose beer and headed to the kitchen with her.
She passed him a beer.
"I retained a lawyer today. Do you want to share one or do you want your own?"
"Why?" she asked.
"Penelope your seeing other people, dating, - moving on—this our new reality."
"But it wasn't a date, yes we kissed—well made out but it wasn't that day. It wasn't a date—it was just a movie," she said flustered and discombobulated.
"That day" Derek repeated, hurt and anger filled his eyes and heart. His worst nightmare was realized in that moment.
"Daddy let me show you my portrait," Chris said.
"We need to do this nice and smoothly for them," he said clinically.
After dinner, Derek went to the hotel bar and ordered a beer and a whiskey. He took off his wedding band and he was spinning it like a top. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Penelope in bed with Stella moaning his name. Digging her nails into is back. How long he wondered. How long had she been with him? His world was crashing in around him and he couldn't stop it.
He kept on hearing her voice, but it wasn't a date, yes we kissed—well made out but it wasn't that day. It wasn't a date—it was.
It was over he thought. What he feared most was happening. He lost her. He lost his family. Things became so ugly and black. Penelope wasn't an adulteress or he thought she wasn't but the facts are the facts.
He took a swig of his whiskey and the burn made him close his eyes. Where he saw how Stella caressed his wife at the hospital. His wife. These twisted thoughts won't leave him be. They spun around his head and he was amazed how all the hope drained from his life. How quickly the sun dropped from his horizon. She inspired him to be better. But what did he give her. He always de-prioritized her. He could see that now. She just wanted to take time to celebrate them and he always put it off as if tomorrow was inherently coming around the corner. Tomorrow was around the corner—but it wasn't the tomorrow he dreamt of.
As he spun his ring around, he laughed. He now understood the song that caused her to cry profusely at Les Miserable.
And still I dream (s)he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
Life has killed that dream I dreamed, was the verse that stood out for him.
Reid would laugh to know at a time like this a musical was going through his head. She did change him—he thought, no woman ever dragged him to a musical, even if it was a movie. He drank his beer and gestured to the bartender for another round of whiskey and beer. Maybe, he did this, he thought, could this all be his fault.
Penelope called him and he sent her to voicemail. He needed to talk to someone.
"Can you meet me at the Hyatt bar?"
Within 20 minutes later, she sat down next to him at the bar. She watched him spin his wedding ring and she put his hand on top of his.
"Put it back on, Morgan."
"Emily, she was with someone else."
She said it again, "Put the ring back on Morgan. It's not over."
"I keep on seeing it in my mind—I have a lawyer. We're over."
"Don't let pride and pity dictate your next move. She loves you and she always will. So, she made a mistake, or had a lapse in judgment. She loves you more than anything and she will fight for you."
"I just wonder at what moment. What moment did I become so unbearable that I," he couldn't finish that thought.
"A year or so ago. I was in the bathroom when she came in. She didn't know I was there and she was talking to herself. She was upset because you forgot the anniversary. She was giving herself this pep talk. She was pissed at you for suggesting she go with someone else, but she Woosa her way through it. She repeated to herself you have your happy ever after, be happy. She didn't want to guilt you but she was disappointed. Now does that sound like someone who doesn't love you?" Emily asked.
Emily continued, "I think Stella has been taken with Penelope for quite some time and he saw an opportunity and jumped. Do I want to fuck him up? Yes. Did he take advantage of her emotional state? Maybe. Did she want to get back at you – for your friendship with a woman who obviously has ulterior motives? Maybe. Do you end a marriage over something so petty?" she waited for Derek to reply but the silence hung between them. She patted his hand and said "No. This is just worse. Better is around the corner."
"Better is around the corner—can we put that on a t-shirt," he said like a smart ass.
"I'm serious, Derek."
"I don't want to scare her into coming back to me—I want her to want it. She will do it for the kids, to maintain our family unit, but If she loves him, wants him-"
"Give her a chance– she loves you Morgan."
Finally some fun waits for us around the corner (next chapter). Thank you for the reviews and the follows.