Disclaimer: I own nothing

She arrives home and get's settled in. She hops on the Internet and it's down. She calls Verizon to report the problem and after 45 minutes of trouble shooting, she makes an appointment for them to fix the wires tomorrow. Penelope with out the Internet is like a plant without water.

She takes a hot bubble bath and relaxes – she thinks about their last conversation as she sips on her carrot, beet, and ginger juice. Him moving back in wasn't the answer but she has given up and if he thinks this is the answer so be it – at least the kids will be happy—and you never know, it may just work—she thought optimistically.

Her cell phone rings and its Fran.

"Hey Fran!"

"Sorry to disappoint you – it's just little ol' me," he had the knack of calling her when she was thinking of him, she used to think they were telepathically connected, maybe they are.

"Oh, hey Derek"

"How was your flight?"

"It was delayed a bit, but smooth sailing after that. How are you and the kids?

"Good, they wanted to say good night to you and I'm about to tuck them in."

"Ok, I'm in the tub, give me a second to get out ok?"

"Sure," he could hear her getting out and he could imagine how beautiful her body looked all wet in their bathroom.

She wrapped herself in her robe and picked up the phone as she sat on the bench in their bedroom.

"Ok. I'm back."

"I should be back in town by Tuesday and I will move my stuff back in that afternoon."

"Sounds good, Morgan. I have to warn you that I haven't been to the market since last week. I've been sustaining myself on wine & cheese—and wine & cheese alone."

He laughed, "Are you pretending to be a Parisian again?"

"Maybe, but I think I would have to add bread and butter."

Mommy, Mommy she could hear Chris calling.

"I'm ready for Chris," he prattled on about his day and proudly told her about eating 4 hotdogs. Izzy just said how much she missed her and can't wait to go home and play tea party with her again.

Izzy gave her a kiss and passed the phone back to Derek.

"I just realized we should've skyped."

"No, we can't the internet is down and a repair guy is coming tomorrow morning, I think. I tried to fix it myself but I think it's the wiring. My first night without the kids and I could be playing MMORPG but no the internet is down. The tech gods are frowning upon me."

He chuckled, "what is a tech goddess with out a service provider."

"Exactly, well I have to condition my hair. I'll talk to you and the kids tomorrow?"

"Yup,"

"Ok, night Derek."

"Night sweetheart."

The repair guy took forever getting the internet up and running. She lost like half the day—and he was still working. She tried going old school, using a pen and paper to write her syllabi outlines and seminar – but she found herself listening to her iPod and cleaning the house instead.

She realized that she needed to call Stella, so she called him and prayed for voicemail. She knew he would be able hear the uneasiness in her voice. Yes, she thought, she got his voicemail. Damn! I should have planned the message I intended to leave.

"Hey Plato, it Penelope. I was hoping that we could get together today and talk but it seems like the cable guy will be here all day. Let me know if you if you have time tomorrow. Thanks."

She worked old school style, and finalized the syllabus for their classes next semester. They could go over it as she let him down easy. She realized that she definitely had a type; she liked tall, intelligent, driven men – who were super hot. Not a bad type, she thought

As the repair guy worked away, she pretended to work on her computer-profiling seminar. He finally finished and she ran up stairs to change into comfortable clothes. She threw on a short jean skirt and a tank top; it was like 4 o'clock and she need to grab groceries. She could still see the hickies on her neck and threw on a crew neck sleeveless shirt instead. She hadn't had a hicky since high school and wondered - how long would it be visible.

Before she headed out, she called her kids to say hi. She talked to Derek brief—they kept it light. Her doorbell rang, and she got off the phone. What did the Verizon guy forget, she thought.

She opened the door and to her surprise, it was Stella.

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

"I got your message and I thought maybe we could talk and eat. I figured I could make you some dinner," he said gesturing at his bags.

"Uhm, come in" she said as she opened the door.

He came in, gave her a kiss on her cheek, and headed to her kitchen. "I'm going to make you one of my favorite dishes. I won't do it as much justice as my father, but it will be good."

He was in her house about to make her dinner; only in my world does this happen.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Wild Trout Lemon Almondine with root vegetables and salad"

"Really? That sounds impressive. How can I help?

"Open up the wine and keep me company," he said as he gestured towards the two wine bottles.

They talked about everything but what transpired between them. She was starved and he gave her a carrot. She made bad bugs bunny jokes until the conversation hit an official lull. He placed the vegetables in the oven and then poured himself a glass of wine. After he sat next to her—she started to speak.

"I – Thank you so much for this, Stella. But I –"

He put his pointer finger over her lips and the cupped her face as he kissed her gently. His lips felt so soft on hers and as he entered her mouth she realized that she felt something for him more than- and she broke away.

"I know you can't do this. You and Derek are going to try and make it work. You will probably start driving to work, and I will only see you on campus as a passerby. We may even still teach our class but it will be weird because" he reached for her neck and said, "I will remember how your neck taste," his thumb grazed her lips "how you lips feel," he touched her hair and said, "how your hair always smell like citrus and honeysuckle. My heart will still want to be with yours and I will always regret that moment in your office because, if I could have kept on pretending we would be closer than we are now. We could've still been friends."

"I know all of those moments are coming – but this moment, all I can remember is that happiness I felt when you kissed me, when you touched my face and heart – and I just want to live in that moment – a shared feeling – till dinner is finished. Then those other moments will flood our doorstep– my feelings will become unrequited - and life will continue."

His eloquent words touched her heart in away she couldn't have foreseen. She stood up and said "Stella, you are one of the – you are." She fumbled as looked into his eyes. She ran her hand along his cheek and said, "You are an amazing person and I-" She leaned in and kissed him a soft gentle yet passionate kiss. She ends the kiss by giving him a peck on his nose. "You will meet an amazing girl who will make you think Penelope who?"

He laughed, "Sit, time for the fish."

They continued to talk and laugh and it seemed so effortless. Dinner was amazing the flavors danced in her mouth and she realized in that she did not want dinner to be over. He made her feel so protected, wanted, and appreciated. She realized that she could not blame the incident in her office on alcohol. She knew she could not see him again too. The moments he talked about started becoming a reality.

She pushed her last few carrots around the plate and as she heard Derek in her head. Finish things with Stella, was his last request. Only she wanted to explore her feelings because they seemed so real and necessary.

"Penelope come in?"

"Breaker Breaker Penelope come in."

"Where did you go?" he asked.

"Got lost in my thoughts for a second."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, are you all done?" she said trying to be present in the moment.

"Yes, are you?"

"Not yet," she said holding on to her plate, as if that was going to buy her more time to think things over. But this could never be more than this—she loved Derek more than anything in the world.

"I'm done she said. Thanks for the amazing meal."

"Dessert time," he said close your eyes.

A few seconds later he told her to open them. In front of her was a gift and a cupcake with a lit candle.

"Now you're just showing off," she said with a smile.

"Since, I'm wont be around for your birthday—with the semester starting late. I figured lets celebrate it together now." Stella always gave her flowers, a hot dog, and a gift for her birthday. She finally understood that this whole evening was a goodbye. As a tear streamed down her face, she wiped it away.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he touched her cheek.

"Sweetest thing ever Plato!"

"Make a wish."

She did – she wished for his happiness and she wished for them to be friends.

She blew out the candle and they ate the cupcake.

She walked him to the door and thanked him for a wonderful night.

"Any time," he said.

"Oh, one work related thing—we should use the same syllabus and everything as last year right?"

"Yes, I actually revised it when I type it up I'll send it to you,"

"Great less work for next semester. I will send you my notes before I leave."

"When do you head to Sweden?"

"This Monday."

"So, this is it huh?"

He nodded

He gently pressed his lips against hers and said good night.

He walked out the door.

Next Day

She knew Derek was coming home today so Penelope straightened up the place and put the present Stella gave her in her office. He gave her the complete collection of E.E. Cumming poems and the True Blood Season 2—the first season with Eric, his doppelganger. When she was all done, she went to the garden and worked. She was pulling up the weeds, listening to her Radiohead and Michael Jackson playlist. She knew she should be working on the seminar but the procrastination bug bit her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped 8 feet out of her skin.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Derek said

"Ohmigod.—I just died a thousand deaths," she said breathlessly.

"Sorry," he said, "are you hungry? Turkey Sandwich?"

She nodded

"They will be ready in 15 minutes"

"Cool," she turned back around and continued to work for 2 or 3 more songs.

She entered the house about 15 minutes later. She had dirt in her hair and on her face. "Hey you don't have to wait for me—I got into a fight with the cucumber plant and it won—I have to clean up."

She showered and threw on a short sleeve shirtdress and sandals. Her hair was wet and wavy

When she came down stair, she saw he waited for her, "You didn't have to wait D?"

"No biggie."

They talked about the kids, Fran, and the garden.

His phone went off and he checked it as she put away the dishes.

"You've got a case," she asked

"No but it's Hotch. Do you want to see the Dapp Kings at Regan Square?"

"I should work on my seminar, Strauss wants to do it sooner than originally planned."

"You're in procrastinating mode— "He said as he tapped her nose "the only thing you will accomplish today is trimming your bangs, painting your nails, and creating a crazy to do list for Alice—for when she comes back."

"You know me too well – Ok, what time?"

"6pm."

"So we have 3 hours, I will change again and go procrastinate in my office."

"Thanks for lunch!" she added as she headed up to her office.

As they exited the car, Derek grabbed the wine and Penelope the fruit. They made their way to Hotch and Beth. They greeted each other with kisses and hugs.

"Glad you guys are back. I miss my running partner," Beth said.

"We should run tomorrow morning—I've been seriously slacking." As she took in the food before her, Penelope said, "Now this is a spread." The blanket was covered with cured meat, cheese, crackers, dips, and veggies, "We brought wine and fruit."

The couples sat down together, Beth and Penelope sat across from each other on the blanket and their dates sat behind them.

The opening band was a cover band that played amazing versions of Adele, Bruno Mars, and Motown classics. Derek sat closer to her, He kissed her left shoulder and his other hand was by her right hip. He could sense that she was tense and far away. She seemed like she was going to jump right out of her skin.

"Hey sweetheart,"

She turned around and faced him, "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just have a few things on my mind—nothing big," she said as she kissed his cheek.

When the band's set was over, she announced that she was going to stretch her legs.

"I'll come with you," Derek offered

"I'm fine and I'll be back in a jiffy" she said a bit too cheery.

She walked to the gate that over looked the lake and got lost in her thoughts. She officially was a slacker. The list of the work that she is neglecting overwhelmed her brain- her seminar, her four syllabi, which were due at the end of the week. Sam Cooper called for a consult. She was living her life like one of those soap opera women consumed by the men in her life and not actually working. She had to catch up, she thought. As she took tally of her worries, deadlines, and projects, she didn't hear him approach her.

"Are you ok, Penelope?"

"I'm fine, I just—I'm good – should we head back?" She said as she started to walk back towards Hotch and Beth.

"We don't have to" he said placing a hand on her waist. "You seem distracted, uneasy or uncomfortable and -"

"Derek" she said looking down, "don't profile me."

He lifted her head so he could read her better and there was a look he didn't recognize; "I know it may be weird to have me back home but I think it's the best way to get us back to where we need to be."

She licked her lips, as she ran her fingers through her hair, "It not about us, honey."

"Is it him?" He asked intently

Him? She wondered was that Stella's new name. We weren't allowed to say it but any pronoun became Stella depending on the context. She sighed; this was her new life it seemed. She knew this insecure phase would pass and she had no right to be annoyed but she was. "No, I've just been slacking - I have a lot to do and Sam called me to do a consult on one of his cases, which I wasn't expecting and it just leaves me with less time to cram it all in—Not a big deal." But it was a big deal, she was looking at an all nighter at some point this week and she was too old for that.

Derek looked at her with his eyes filled with concern.

"Honestly, I'm fine—I just needed to stretch my legs and clear my head. We can head back."

"Are you sure?" he said rubbing her right cheek.

"Yes," she replied and he kissed her sweetly on her lips.

As she headed back she thought of Stella, she wondered how he knew E.E. Cummings was her favorite poet. She never talked about it; she must've brought it up on one of their train rides. She realized that she was going to miss him. Ever since Jackson, went back to California she's been missing that all-knowing BFF. Maybe she could have that in Beth if she opened herself up to that—she just wasn't good with women. Well, until then she was going to miss Stella and this was a moment he didn't think about. They took their seats on the blanket, as the Dapp Kings were about to hit the stage. Sharon Jones and the Dapp Kings were amazing. Sharon's energy made you want to get up and dance. They dance through a beautiful sunset.

Derek and Penelope returned home at around 1030pm, Derek headed upstairs and she grabbed her kindle and started reading a textbook on the couch.

Derek came downstairs in his boxers and asked, "Are you turning in?"

"In a few D, I just want to finish this chapter," she replied. One chapter became five and she fell asleep on the couch. Derek found her asleep on the couch an hour or two later and scooped her up and carried her to bed. When he picked her up, she curled in his arms and hung on to his neck. As he placed her on the bed, he took off her glasses, shoes, and dress. He used the yes to cucumber towelette to wipe off her make up and tucked her in to bed. He held her as he fell asleep.

She woke up the next day lying on his chest in his embrace. She snuggled closer and then realized that she was in bed with her husband. She sat up in bed and reached for her glasses.

"Where are you going?" He asked taking her glasses and keeping them just out of her reach. She continued to reach and he said, "Nope answer my question first. Where are you going?"

"For a run maybe depending on the time – do you want to come?" he still kept her glasses out of her reach, "Derek, give me my glasses." She put her glasses on and looked over her shoulder at him. She drew her knees to her chest under the sheet and said, "Derek, we can't just act like nothing happened. I mean we have to be grown-ups."

"Why," he whined like Chris

She ignored his whining and told him "I met with Stella and we talked. We are on the same page. We will still have to work together but our friendship is on hiatus until he gets married or something like that."

"I'm going to talk to Tamara this week and do the same thing."

"Oh," she said surprised.

"I can't ask you to do something – I'm not ready to do. There should only be two people in a marriage. If someone makes one of them feel oddly possessive, they should leave right."

"Everyone makes you feel oddly possessive, next thing you will tell me is I can't hang with Reid."

"You can't hang out with Reid," he said kissing her shoulder and tickling her.

She laughed, "and no Hotch, because he knows my favorite wine."

"No Hotch," he said pulling her back down to the bed.

He started kissing her neck and then breast, "Derek I think we should finish talking."

"I'm done talking," he teased. "But there are a few things I want to show you."

"Derek, I'm serious – we know we are good at sex we don't need to work on that aspect of our relationship."

He smiled and said, "I believe in working on all aspects of a relationship equally. I mean I can give you a workout right here." he said thoughtfully.

She laughed and said, "show me this Morgan workout routine."