"Hey, Logan," Dylan called out from across the newsroom as Logan was locking up his office at the end of the day. It was nearing eight o'clock - four hours later than he was supposed to stay. After having a lengthy discussion with Colleen about the overtime hours he was putting in over the past two months since he'd signed the contract, she'd agreed to let him work later due to the circumstances he was dealing with when it came to his coping methods after the break up.
"What's up, Dylan?" He didn't want to make small talk with the boy. It was odd, Logan seeing Dylan as a boy despite them being the same age. He figured part of it was due to Dylan's carefree attitude - the same one Logan had once possessed. It was a little sad to see Dylan with a new girl on his arm every week, partying every night. He didn't know what he was missing with a stable relationship. Then, Logan's reality came crashing back. He didn't have a stable relationship either, not anymore.
"Me and some of the guys are meeting up at this club down the block. Want to come?" It was the first time he'd been invited out with anybody from the office, and he wasn't about to turn down some booze.
"Why not?" Dylan smiled, waiting for Logan to finish up with the lock of his door. When he walked over to the other man, Dylan just smiled. Logan wasn't sure why exactly Dylan looked like the Cheshire Cat, and quite frankly, he didn't care.
"So, what's the story?" Dylan finally asked, breaking the silence of their walk from the office to the club. "Why would a Huntzberger, or a journalist for that matter, ever want to leave HPG, the biggest journalism company in the US - if not the world?" Logan sighed, knowing it was going to come up eventually. He even had an inkling that it would be Dylan to bring it up considering his obvious problems with Logan being a Huntzberger.
"Well, father dearest - aka Mitchum - never cared about what I wanted. It was all about keeping him happy and business associates. My well being be damned. When a big business deal fell through, I realized that no matter what I did, Mitchum would never be okay with it. Sure, all I did was screw up, but… I didn't want to be a pawn in whatever plan he had for me. So, I left." He purposefully left out the parts about Rory, about how she pushed him to be better and to succeed at whatever he put his mind to. Despite them splitting, she was the reason he was at Premier Media to begin with. She was the reason he was putting in thirteen hour days and even longer nights working from home. Even though they weren't together, he wanted to make her proud.
"Wow," Dylan finally said after a moment of silence. "That's… I figured being a Huntzberger you'd have all these options and doors wide open for you." Logan laughed at that thought, thinking back to his and Rory's first fight about those 'doors.'
"That's the thing about Hartford Society, Dylan. When you grow up in it, you know how it works. Children carry on the legacy no matter what. My good friend Colin is going to law school. Why? His dad's a lawyer and he's the heir, despite his passion for business. Another friend, Finn. He's taking over the Morgan Hotel Industry despite a passion for photography. And I was destined to take over HPG. From the outside, you see options and doors because of money and last names. We don't. We see it as one door that we're being pushed through. I was lucky to have a passion for journalism and business - two major factors in HPG. But it was the way that it was forced upon me that made me realize that that's not who I am. I'm not my father, and I intend to prove it here." He motioned to the city around them. Dylan just nodded as they walked through the front door to the club.
It wasn't the type of club Logan was used to, just a bouncer. There was no buy in, no list or line or name dropping. It was loud and bright, bodies pressed together as they made their way to a table that had their coworkers - Suzanne included. She gave him a smile as he sat down, Dylan sitting on the other side with his arm slung around one of the interns. Not only did Dylan remind Logan of himself, he reminded him of Mitchum, which made Logan uncomfortable. How similar was he to his father if he saw both himself and Mitchum in Dylan?
The night went well, getting to know the coworkers who were there and learning more about them. They got a look at his life too, but he was careful as to what he told them. He was used holding back facts for appearance purposes, but this time was different. He was holding back details because he didn't know if he could trust the drunken group. That didn't mean Logan didn't get drunk, because he did, stumbling out of the club. Hailing a taxi, he fell in before giving the cabbie his address. Alcohol was the one thing that helped him get his mind off her, but not this time. No, this time, his phone was pressed to his ear as the phone rang.
"Hello?" Honor said groggily. "Logan? It's too early." Logan didn't say anything, not knowing what to say at first. He thought a moment before speaking.
"I fucked up," he finally choked out. When he was staying with Colin, the topic of Rory never came up. He didn't bring her up, and Colin knew better. Instead, it was late night drinking and games of pool and poker to pass the time before he left for California. "I really fucked up with that damn ultimatum. Why did I make her choose, Honor? Why did I tell her all or nothing?" His sister sighed softly and he could hear her get out of bed and walk out of a room.
"Logan, call her. The phone works both ways." He nodded, knowing she wouldn't see his response. "You made a mistake. Try and fix it."
"I think this is beyond fixing. She looked so broken that day, and even if she did take me back, Lorelai would have major problems, and you know how Ace is when it comes to her mom's opinion." He stopped, taking a breath as the lump that had been resting in his throat began to rise, tears stinging his eyes.
"I can't tell you that trying to fix it is going to. But by trying, you'll show her how much you really do love her. I have a feeling she'll understand that you were hurt. She saw her future as wide open, and you were there, telling her that you were moving and that if she went with you, those wide open options would be limited." He knew Honor was right. He had told her they would factor each other in, but had he really done that when he proposed? He had told her she could apply to the Chronicle or other papers in the area, but was that what she had wanted? He had really fucked up that day. He had not only given her an ultimatum, but he'd proposed in a way that made her uncomfortable and in a way that was not Rory. He hung up, debating on calling her or not. Instead of making a decision, the cabbie told him they'd arrived. With a hushed thank you, he paid the man before climbing up and to the door of the house he was renting. Maybe, just maybe, he could make this house a home all by himself.
Rory defined the past three years of his life, an extra six months if he was counting before they were officially together. She was a part in his successes and stood by him in his failures. He realized he didn't know how to be without her. Even in his inebriated state, he decided one thing easily enough. He had to define himself without her. He didn't know who this new Logan Huntzberger was, but he needed to find out. Falling into bed, he kicked off his shoes and allowed himself to sleep peacefully for the first night since she turned him down.