Yah! My inspiration is back! Sorry for the radio silence but I couldn't motivate :)
We are back and I still own nothing
The Morgan's yard was filled with friends, family, and good music. The sun was strong for October; Rossi and Fran were playing grill master, while folks gathered in small circles and chatted. Bits and pieces of her memory were coming back. As soon as she walked into their home, she remembered being pregnant. Derek reading books to Chis in her belly, and running out for hot dogs in the middle of the night. When did she become so obsessed with them—it seemed like yesterday, she was a vegetarian. She remembered crying during the AT&T commercials because the toddlers were so freakin cute. The memories seemed out of place because there isn't anything anchoring it down. It was like her memories were floating balloons in her head- when she caught one she had to release another. Sometimes she wished that she would just wake up and remember everything, because she was too wacky as Penelope 2.0.
These are her friends, she reminded herself as she looked at them—but she only felt herself around her brothers and Jackson. She often caught Beth looking at her longingly and she wished she could remember her.
"Are you ok?" Derek asked holding her by her waist.
"Yeah, It is weird what my brain remembers," she said, "I keep on getting bits and pieces of a picture but not the whole- I mean, I would rather start all over again than get these disjointed flashes."
"Any thing new?"
"No, just memories of being pregnant with Chris, but I know I should feel something like warmth or pride or maybe being scared but it feels like it happened to someone else and I'm looking in. Like, I'm watching me on TV."
She turned to him, "I kinda hoped that I would walk in the door and the memories would wash over me and we could resume our lives but – but what if I never remember anything or the man who attacked me comes back and … I don't even recognize him. The doctor did say that was like a 2% chance."
His thumb caressed her torso underneath her shirt, "Hey baby girl, don't stress—today is a day for fun and relaxation. Let your mind relax," he said as he pulled her in for a quick peck on the lips.
"I'm fine – I just need a minute," she said taking a step or two away from him, "I'm just going to powder my nose or something."
She did that a lot, he thought. She would be there and then pull away, the kids started calling her Mommy 2.0 when she started acting un-Penelope, he hated it but she thought it was funny. Her first night home was awkward; she truly was a visitor in her own home. He thought maybe they should sleep in separate beds until she got her memory back. Well that lasted 2 days, her nightmares were so intense she woke up screaming "Mr. Beignets," with her arms flailing like she is attacking her captor. When he woke her up - she remembered nothing. After that night he always slept by her side and held her till the morning. I love her, he thought, but he was so confused as to how to handle her – she remembered fragments of their life with out the emotional rooting. She remembered their wedding day, but he knew it still felt like they were dating to her. He is so scared that she will be taken again, that he never lets her out of his sight. He had to protect her this time. He already decided that he was going to take a leave of absence until she was better and her abductor was behind bars – he couldn't loose her again.
She walked to their bathroom; sat on the tub and thought about her new life - maybe 15 or 20 minutes passed, when the doorbell rang.
She opens the door and is greeted by this beautiful woman. She has warm glowing honey skin, light greenish brown eyes and with legs for days. She is wearing a blue bandage dress - it's super form fitting, with heels—kinda inappropriate bbq wear, Penelope thinks to herself, but—who is she to judge.
"Hi Penelope!" She said surprised, "Maybe this isn't…"
"Come on in," she was tired of asking everyone who they were and even when they told her she didn't remember.
"How are you doing?" Penelope asked, trying to make conversation but the woman looked so perplexed.
"Pretty good," she said suspiciously.
"Everyone is out back," Penelope guided her to the yard.
"Oh, I'm not here for the festivities—I just wanted to give Derek this," she said as she extend the bag.
"Are you hungry? We just started grilling – we only have hot dogs so far. Nothing fancy," she said taking in her outfit, again.
As soon as they entered the yard, Izzy ran up to Penelope and bear hugged her leg.
"I see you're on a mission to mess up Mommy's jeans. How about a new mission—find daddy and bring him here, honey."
"Mission Accepted," and with that Izzy was off.
"I just remembered why I shouldn't wear pastel jeans," Penelope said looking at her legs, "She is so cute isn't she?" Penelope said watching her daughter run to her dad, "But I guess most parents feel that way about their kids. Do you have any?"
"No," she sighed holding her gaze on Penelope wondering what game she was playing. Penelope was never nice to her – she always had this accusatory look, Tamara thought. As if I was going to steal Derek from her—little did she know how dedicated he is to her. She'd hope that she would need a long-term facility so she could finally put the moves on him, but alas she is here. She was officially giving up on this foolish quest. He is married and no matter how much it felt like it could go somewhere she'd always be there—with her crazy glasses and loud clothing. She truly hated her, Tamara thought; a man like Derek deserved a woman like her.
Penelope couldn't figure out what the look she was giving her meant—then it hit her. "Shit, I'm such a bad host—would you like a drink, water, soda, sangria, or beer?"
"Sangria would be perfect," she replied
As Penelope left to grab the sangria, Derek approached Tamara from the other side of the yard.
"Hey Tamara!" Derek said, to the woman in the bandage blue dress.
"So, you willed her back to life," Tamara said smiling at him. Derek went on to tell her about the miracle of Penelope's recovery
"Who is that?" she asked the group consisting of: Hotch, Beth, Reid, Stella, Jenn, Jackson, and Emily. "She's kinda over dressed for a bbq isn't she?"
Beth laughed, "Some things never change"
Hotch poked Beth. Penelope asked "what?"
"Nothing,"
"Tamara, she's a friend of Derek's," Hotch said,
She poured her a glass of sangria and when she looked up to see if Derek needed a drink she saw, Tamara was touching his chest and smiling. A wave of possessiveness hit her and she was seeing red... well more like pink, but a green monster possessed her. Penelope asks anyone who was listening, "Do I like her?"
"Kind of, baby profiler." Emily said.
"Define like," Reid said at the same time.
"Never mind, I was just wondering," she said as she grabbed the drinks and headed over to them.
"Hey guys," she said as she passed them their drinks, Penelope took Derek's hand and asked Tamara, "so, do you work at the FBI too?"
"No, Derek and I met on a case – and we've been friends ever since," she said smiling, her body language turned glum and she said, "My brother died and Derek made sure his killers were brought to justice. He's been my rock." She said patting his arm.
"I'm sorry—" before she could finish, Chris and Izzy attached her legs, "We renovated the garden. Come see it!" Chris said too excitedly.
She took one more sip of her beer, "Duty calls," she turned to Tamara, "I am sorry for your loss – I think about my parents every day," she gave a quick hug and followed her kids to the renovated garden.
"Now that was odd," Beth said.
"She just hugged her," Emily
"Look at Derek's face. Even he is semi-stunned," Hotch said smirking
The group kept on laughing until they heard Penelope scream and then Izzy screamed.
The next sound they heard was Penelope shriek, "Christopher Spencer Morgan, you are grounded for like ever."
Izzy copied her mom in her tiny little voice, "Christopher Spencer Morgan, you are grounded for like ever."
Chris laughed, "Oh, you think it's funny?" She pretend to get up and grabbed both of them and put them in the mud with her.
"How funny is that?"
The kids were shocked that their mom just put them in the mud, as she wiped the mud off of her she playfully tossed it at them. Chris whispered to Izzy, "Mommy 2.0 is fun,"
"Mommy 2.0 is fun," Izzy said louder
"If you don't stop playing shadow – I am going to show how much of a tickle monster Mommy 2.0 can be."
Chris decided to take the challenge, "If you don't—" before he could finish his sentence she was back in the mud tickling them both.
Derek made his way over to the screams which turned to squeals of giggles, his family looked like mud wrestle mania five. "Penelope Morgan," he called as if he was her father. They all stopped as if someone said freeze, "What happened?" he asked hiding his smirk.
They all stood up and Penelope and Chris began at the same time.
"Mommy slipped and," Chris began.
"Chris and Izzy kept on playing shadow"
And Izzy just laughed because the look on her father's face was so funny. He looked like he was the teacher and they were the bad students.
"We were playing," she said, "we got a bit too dirty, and now we will clean up—don't get your panties in a bunch," the kids laughed harder.
"We'll be back down in 30."
He looked at his kids and said; "now why did you think it was ok to wrestle in the mud?"
"Mommy put us in there," Chris said
"For laughing and playing shadow" Izzy finished
Derek laughed, "I have to teach you guys basic interrogation techniques as well as clean you," Penelope said as she guided them to the house.
Derek couldn't stop laughing.
She and the kids emerged from the house 40 minutes later, nice and clean. Before they ran out to play with the other kids Penelope reminded them, "We are staying out of?"
"The Garden," they cheered
"No" she prompted them.
"Ifs, ands, or butts" they said in unison.
"Awesome," she said kneeling down by them, "now give me a kiss and go play"
"I love you mommy," Izzy said, "This is the best day," she said after the kiss. Chris gave her a hug and kiss then took off.
She was wearing, a jean cut off skirt and a black Madonna Who's That Girl T-shirt.
Penelope talked to her brothers until the food was ready. The guys put the long picnic tables together so that everyone sat at one table; the kids sat at a small round table at the foot of the larger one.
As she chatted with Derek, her brothers, and Jackson; she had a flash of Café Du Monde and eating powdered donuts with her parents. This memory came with a dizzy almost high feeling. She felt sick immediately and then saw a blade twist in the clouds. The blade pierced her chin and she dropped her fork and touched her chin checking for blood.
"No more sangria for you," Jackson said.
She smiled a distant smile, "butter fingers, I guess,"
"Are you ok?" Derek whispered, a question he always asked that made her feel so suffocated. He was more like her personal bodyguard instead a husband, but who was she to critique him – just a week ago he was watching her from a hospital bed.
"I'm fine," she said squeezing his hand, "really."
That weird memory took away her appetite but if she didn't eat, Derek would ask his favorite question again so instead she pushed the food around on her plate and drank a lot of water waiting for the right time to retreat to the bathroom.
When she emerged from the house, Stella and Jenn who were about to head home greeted her.
"Thank you so much for coming – are you sure you don't want to take some food home—we may have bbq for a month if you don't"
They laughed but declined.
"Do you have any free time this week? I was thinking I could make lunch and we could go over the courses… I have to meet with Franklin about coming back."
"Don't you want to take it easy for a bit," Stella asked, "you just came home."
"I know but if I don't do something I'll just be on memory watch which is like watching paint dry. I can't do yoga," she said looking at Jenn, "because of my ribs so I just wait - I really want to keep busy."
"Well let me check with Derek and," he began.
"Really, I'm a big girl. I can have company," she teased.
He laughed, "ok, Wednesday is normally my open day but let me see what I have booked," which she understood to mean let me check with Derek—but she dropped it.
"Cool, call me and let me know," as she gave Jenn a hug, Derek joined them.
"Taking off?" Derek asked.
Stella nodded, "thanks for inviting us—I really appreciate it."
"No problem," Derek said
"Penelope and I were just discussing classes and I think I may come over Wednesday and walk her through a few things in preparation for her meeting with Franklin."
"Sounds good, I'm sure we will have bbq left overs"
Penelope became furious everyone was treating her like the girl in the plastic bubble and she hated it. She glared at Stella and said, "I'm here you know and I said you don't have to ask for permission—I'm not a" a victim, she thought, but she was, "— I'm not incapacitated." She turned and walked away leaving Derek to apologize for her behavior.
She walked to the edge of the party and by the shrubs and she tried to collect herself, she was so tired of the babying and it was only day 5, she was never alone and she was always lost. This feeling was never going away, she felt a hand on her shoulder and as she turned around she searched her brain for an apology. But to her surprise it was Spencer.
"Hi!"
"Hey"
They stood in silence for a while before he began to speak, "when you first came here we were really close, I think you kind of remember that."
She smiled and nodded.
"You once asked me to keep you busy because that is how you preferred to heal. So we went to Jazz fest, Comic Con, lectures, and yes we even karaoked. We did dark side tutorials and salsa classes too."
"I kind of remember that,"
"It took a few months, but you were back to your old self and you were happy. But Penelope, you can't heal same way—each injury is different. When Tobias Henkel held me captive, he drugged and tortured me for 2 days. I know I can't compare experiences, but I know the first thing I wanted to do was be fine – even if that meant pretending to be fine and a control freak. I lashed out and I felt alone. But you're not alone, Garcia. You used to tell me that Derek had a warrior heart and sometimes that's what made the children cases so hard for him- he wants to save all of them. But he almost lost you twice, Penelope. Once before the abduction, so he is going to hold on to you a little tighter in the beginning and everyone here knows it. He has to heal too."
"I just hate being helpless—I'm not good at it."
"You're far from helpless,"
"I just don't know how to be. Sometimes the memories don't make sense and I just—just want to be regular again."
"You will be Garcia, you will." He said patting her shoulder, she turned to him and hugged him
"Thank you," she said and just like that she was fine again.