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This is the final revised chapter- I will delete the old chapters next week. I hope you like the changes :)

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They talked about her lab, the sciences, funding. The whole time he looked at her so oddly or maybe she just felt odd. He seemed so familiar – his cologne – matter of fact every smell she could taste. She felt her saliva get thinner and she thought she might be sick. What was wrong with the wine, she thought. Maybe it was corked or something. As he talked about the company she held on to the bar and tried to think of a way to exit. She felt overcome by nausea. She looked up at him smiled. She extended her hand, "It was great meeting you Lee."

He took her hand and stepped closer, "So formal," he said as he lifted her chin to look directly into his eyes, "we are more familiar than that Sweet P.," the hairs on her neck stood at attention as her wine glass fell to the floor.

She bent down to pick up the broken glass and so did he. She picked up the stem and he touched her hand again smiling.

"I – I'm sorry – I don't remember a bunch of things- I was in an accident," she said as a tear sailed down her cheek. "I don't remember what we were to each other but I love my husband."

He wiped her cheek, "I love my wife but—"

He noticed Derek and Stella coming over, "Tsk, tsk, we never get to finish do we?" he said reaching for the piece of glass closer to her, "We will," he whispered.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as she stood up. She was overtaken with shame and embarrassment… all she could do was nod.

"What happened?" Stella asked

"Knights in shinning armor?" he said as he placed the last piece of glass on the bar and picked up his old fashion, "well not shinning, right, philosophy teacher."

He extended his hand to Derek, "I'm Leif Westinghouse, but you know that right Derek. Since, you've been following me for months – right?"

She looked at over at Derek—did he know?

"Following him?"

Derek never met Leif, Elle interviewed him once in his office and after that the case was shut down officially. Thank god the director let them continue with all info disavowed and all that other Mission Impossible stuff. But here he was in front of him and he wondered how it was possible. They had him under surveillance and all points of contact tapped. He had friends in high places but he wondered how high. He looked over at Penelope and she seemed flustered. He didn't tell her much about the case because he didn't want her to have a bias; he knew it was going to be hard to lock Leif up. And she didn't need him (Derek) in her ear giving her confidential information—creating a bias.

Stella stepped closer to her, and Leif said to Derek, "I don't think his intentions are honorable, but who am I to judge," he says smiling as he let his eyes roam over her body.

"Following him?" She asked louder—If the team thought he was a suspect because of their relationship—she had to clear that up. The real unsub was out there because of her lies—god, this just kept on getting worse. She often found herself wondering about her life before the incident—was she happy?

"Yes, Professor. The FBI thinks I had something to do with your abduction and they have tarnished my name and my business trying to prove it." He ran his fingers through his hair and said, "but I didn't let your husbands obsession come between my intent to fund your research."

"Listen you son of –" Penelope squeezed Derek's hand and whispered not now.

"Hey," she said looking over at Derek and placing her hand on his chest.

He looked over at Derek, "Secrets are bad for a healthy marriage." He scanned the floor, "one more piece," he said retuning to the ground picking up the last pieces of glass.

Franklin walked over smiling ear to ear, "So I see you've met."

"Penelope, Leif has decided to fund the lab. Harvey just told me the good news. I think this is cause for champagne."

"Great," she said taking Derek's hand, "is this for the robotics department exclusively or

But before she could finish, Leif said, "exclusively for you." He smiled, "for your work."

The bartender passed them an open bottle of champagne and Franklin poured them glasses.

"I would love to get a tour of your lab—see what the financial priorities are and the educational goals."

"Sure," she said hoping they could discuss this privately, "I'm free tomorrow afternoon and Thursday I think - but have your assistant call me and we can pencil it in."

Her whole demeanor surprised Derek, she was being overly friendly, overly accommodating, and trying to placate everyone. He wondered why? He looked over at Stella and Stella was watching Leif. It was like a Mexican standoff and only Penelope and Franklin were oblivious.

After her second sip, "Franklin this is uber exciting and I wish I could stay but the preschool called and Chris is sick. I will put some time on your calendar for Friday."

She kissed his cheek and whispered, "Team Work Makes the Dream Work."

Leif looked at her and she nodded, "Catherine will call you about the tour and lunch," he informed her.

She nodded again and with that her feet headed to the door.

"Philosophy teacher," he said to Stella "Derek – always a pleasure," he said with a dismissive tone.

As soon as she was out of the Hall, she took off her shoes and ran across the quad. She needed to be alone. By the time Derek and Stella came outside they saw Penelope enter her building.

"Did she run?" Stella asked.

"Something's wrong—I'll see you later." Derek replied. Derek ran to her office and discovered her pacing.

She was so overwhelmed by the new truths she discovered that she became filled with anger and disappointment in herself. When he touched her she jumped.

"Hey baby girl," he said trying to enfold her into an embrace and she wanted to say don't touch me, - I'm a horrible wife, mother, everything, "Don't"

"What's wrong?" he said looking at her surprised.

" I just," she sighed taking control of her feelings, "I just want to go home," she said as she grabbed her bag, "and Franklin can just ramble on—especially with the champagne."

He reached for her instinctively and she allowed herself to fall into his embrace, "were we always happy?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I know most couples – I mean relationships have ups and downs," when she looked into his eyes she saw something—an unrecognizable glint of sadness, and she had to stop. She could just talk to this Leif and make sure things whatever they were - were over. Maybe things could be that easy – but what if she was wrong and he wasn't the guy from the dream. What if he was the guy who took her that she couldn't remember—she just wanted things to be normal—but only if normal was a happy place. This is the first time she ever thought – maybe they weren't happy.

"Never mind," she said, "So you think Leif is the guy—why?"

He didn't want to bias her memories but all he could muster, "we aren't sure the list of suspects is complicated and long. We don't want to prejudice you… but don't worry I won't let you be alone with him again."

"Derek, are you going to follow us on the tour and grab lunch—sometimes your protectiveness can be annoying." How could she ask Leif anything if Derek was around?

"Baby girl, he a possible suspect—"

"But, so was Franklin and every male in my class"

"You won't be alone with that man. End of discussion," he said angrily.

"What am I - Izzy and Chris now?"

She walked to the door; "I'll grab the kids and meet you at the car."

"Penelope," he called but she continued to the daycare.

They played Backyardigans episodes in the car for the kids, as Penelope zoned out on the way home. As soon as they arrived home she walked into the guest room and locked the door. She ran the water for the shower scalding hot and she stepped in and began to cry. She sat in the corner of the tub and cried until the water ran cold twice. Her skin was bright red but she still felt dirty. She put on sweat shorts and Derek's FBI t-shirt. She unlocked the door and hoped that everyone was in bed. She checked on her babies and they were sounds asleep. She sat on their beds and watched them sleep. She knew Derek was waiting for her downstairs and she should tell him what she knew – or what she thought she knew—but maybe it would be better to make sure she knew what she thought she knew before she shared it—because maybe she wouldn't have to share anything. Just that thought made her feel better.

She walked down the stairs and Derek stopped pacing. He searched her face, when she began.

"I'm sorry for earlier—I just hate being smothered. And when you turn on SSA Morgan and direct it towards me it's just overwhelming. I hate being told what to do and you do it a lot - and I know it's because of the case—the case about me—but it's hard to live and be married to your own bodyguard. Maybe this is why it didn't work out for Whitney and Kevin."

She continued to ramble on, "and as for this meeting —you can't come – plain and simple. I don't want to jeopardize my job or this grant because my husband thinks everyone is my possible attacker and I know we have to take this seriously and I am – but it's been almost 3 months and no creepy unsub guy and no memories- maybe we should focus on the memories and creepy unsub guy will fall into place."

"Garcia this is not up for discussion—you are under surveillance because you were abducted and attacked—it is immature of you to think because nothing has happened - nothing will happen."

"I'm not saying that but you can't go all Arnold Swar—"

"Garcia, I think it was more than that—You never mentioned Leif before but you both seemed familiar- did you remember him?"

"You threatened him, Derek at the fundraiser!"

"what if anyone besides Stella overheard you?" she said trying to avoid answering the question. "I don't want to argue about this—"

"Then stop being stubborn and let us work the case."

He walked over to her by the island in the kitchen where she was still fuming.

"I love you with all my heart and I lost you once and I can't—"

She looked down at her purple painted toes feeling like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. He lifted her head.

"I can't lose you again—I won't."

"I'm not going anywhere," she resigned to the fact that her secret could break up their happiness. Not could- would break-up their happiness -it was just a matter of time.

She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him, "I love you, no matter what."

"I love you more, Baby Girl."

the next two chapters should be exciting :)

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