Atlantis Season 4 Episode 3 – Reunion
Episode summary: Sam arrives to take her place as the new leader of Atlantis. Ronan almost leaves Atlantis to join his former Satedan friends, but when they turn out to be Wraith worshippers, he decides to stay with Atlantis. That's all you really need to know for the purpose of this tag.
Sam was quickly learning that Atlantis was not run like a normal military facility. Yes, there were military personnel, but at its core this was a science and exploration expedition, and with being so far from Earth, the military protocols and codes were somewhat laxer than she was used to.
This party was a case in point. The Atlantis expedition members got their kicks where they could, and so even though Ronan hadn't actually gotten around to physically leaving, the fact that he had packed up all his stuff and then unpacked it all upon deciding to stay was reason enough for a 'welcome home' party. As Sheppard had pointed out to her when he'd invited her along, they'd take any excuse for some cold beer and a chance to let their hair down, so to speak.
She opted to forgo the offered beer – as base commander she had to maintain a certain level of decorum, after all – but gladly attended the party as a chance to meet some more of the base personnel, and maybe socialise a little. She wasn't under the illusion that she'd be able to make close friends here – lonely at the top, and all that – but it wouldn't hurt to present herself as being friendly and approachable.
She'd pretty much finished making the rounds, mingling and making polite and smiley conversation, when Sheppard approached and handed her a can of diet soda with a knowing and satisfied expression. She raised her eyebrows in surprise at the beverage choice.
"How did you know?" She asked curiously.
"Intel from Mitchell." Sheppard admitted sheepishly.
Sam gave him a bemused look. She hadn't been aware the two had kept in contact.
"We bonded over a mutual love of Guiness when we met last year." He elaborated. "He's been sending me crates of the stuff whenever we get a shipment of supplies, and in the last one he included a pack of Diet Coke with a note to explain that you liked it."
Sam smiled fondly at the gesture from her friend back on Earth. "He's a sweetheart."
"I think he was worried about you coming out here by yourself." Sheppard said. "I gather SG-1 were a pretty tight-knit group."
"We're like a family, really." Sam agreed.
"Well, I know it's not the same, but you're welcome to hang out with us anytime." Sheppard offered genially, gesturing at his team with his beer.
"Thanks, I'll bear that in mind." She said.
"How are you settling in?" Sheppard asked. "Not missing home too much?"
Sam felt a pang as she thought of Beth, and fought to keep it from registering in her expression. "It's an adjustment." She said cryptically.
She'd made the decision that if anyone asked her directly, she wouldn't lie about her husband and daughter back home, but that she wouldn't necessarily volunteer the information. It wasn't that she was trying to hide it, and she did have a photo of Beth on her desk – albeit facing towards her and away from the door – but her status as commander required that she maintain a certain professional distance, and she didn't particularly want her personal life to end up making the rounds as gossip.
"Well, for what it's worth, I think everyone agrees that you're doing a great job so far."
She smiled at him, pleased at the positive feedback, as she had been nervous about how she'd be perceived by the expedition members, so soon after the loss of Elizabeth Weir. "That's good to hear, thank you."
A couple of weeks later, she was feeling both better and worse about her position. She'd settled into the role of expedition leader and the various responsibilities the post entailed, and she felt she had really begun to earn the trust of the people she led. But, on a personal level, she was struggling.
She missed Beth terribly. She'd actually removed the photo of her from her desk because she had begun to get distracted by it during her working hours.
Today, she would have a scheduled contact with Earth, and her first opportunity to see and speak to Jack since arriving in Atlantis. It would probably have to be an almost entirely professional conversation, as she expected he'd have to speak to her from the busy SGC control room, but she was still looking forward to just seeing his face and hearing his voice.
She tried not to hover in the control room, but she was there and ready scant seconds after the gate began dialling when the appointed hour arrived.
"Incoming wormhole." Chuck announced as the gate activated behind the force shield.
"Atlantis, this is General O'Neill with a collect call from the SGC, will you accept the charges?" Jack's voice came over the radio, and Sam couldn't help the grin that spread over her face.
"This is Colonel Carter, we'd be happy to, sir." She replied. "Please stand by while we establish a video link."
She turned to Chuck. "Patch the video link through to my office, please, Sergeant."
"Yes Ma'am." He replied, and she walked briskly across the walkway and sat down at her laptop.
Within seconds Jack's face appeared on her screen, and she grinned again, professional decorum be damned. She was way too happy to see him to control the urge to smile.
"Hey Carter." Jack said with a smirk. "Landry's here to go through the official stuff, and then he's going to patch you through to his office for a quick debriefing with me."
That sounded wonderful.
"Understood sir." She said. Landry's face appeared, and they went through the necessary housekeeping, matters of protocol and status updates, before Landry gave her a knowing smile and transferred her in a brief fuzz of static to Jack, sitting in the relative privacy of Hank's office.
"Hey." He said. "How are you doing?"
"Good." She said. "I'm settling into the job, and everyone here has been very welcoming."
"You look tired." He commented.
"I'm fine." She said quickly. "How's Beth?"
He frowned at her for the quick evasion, but let it go in order to answer the question.
"Misses her mom, but she's doing alright. Cassie's been visiting a lot. Vala and the guys have too."
Sam gave him a strained smile. "That's good."
"Seriously, Sam, are you coping ok?"
Sam ducked her head, taking a beat to reign in her emotions before meeting his eyes again to answer. "I miss her a lot." She admitted.
"Not me?" He teased.
"I miss everyone." She conceded with a smirk. "But it's harder than I thought it would be, being away from her."
Jack smiled sympathetically. "It'll get easier." He assured her.
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. You'll get into the swing of things, and time will fly and before you know it you'll be back here again."
She wasn't sure she believed him, but she appreciated the attempt at reassurance, and offered a smile in return.
"In the meantime," Jack continued, "I've included a few photos and some letters from Cassie and the guys in the data burst."
"I'll look forward to looking through those later." She said.
He smiled at her, and then glanced down with a sigh. "My time's up. Take care of yourself." He said.
"I will. Give Beth a big hug from me."
"You bet." He gave her a last soft smile. "See ya, Carter. O'Neill out."
The connection dropped, and a moment later she saw the wormhole wink out through her window.
She sighed, looking down at her hands as a fresh wave of longing her baby daughter assaulted her.
"Knock knock." Sheppard's voice startled her and she jumped, as he and McKay waltzed into her office.
"Have you read the report I sent you?" McKay demanded.
She blinked at him, working to banish her emotions to the back of her mind and bring forth the stoic expedition leader.
"Ah … yes! You mean the one about the lab you found near the south-west pier?"
McKay launched into a diatribe about the importance of sending a team to investigate right this minute, Sheppard doing an admirable job of smoothly tempering McKay's freight train attitude. She could see why these two made such a good team.
"It's already scheduled." Sam said, holding up a hand to halt Rodney's monologue. "1400 hours today."
McKay looked at his watch and gave a discontented sigh. "I guess that will have to do."
"Anything else?" She asked him. He huffed a bit, but admitted it was, and left just as rapidly as he had appeared.
Sheppard lingered. "How was the scheduled contact with Earth?" He asked.
"Fine. No serious news. General Landry agreed to send the additional personnel you requested."
"Great." He said. He cocked his head and squinted at her. "You ok?"
She started a little at the question. "I'm fine."
"When we came in you seemed a little …" He waved his hand vaguely, grimacing.
She shook her head, forcing a smile. "It was nothing."
"Ok." He gave her a wry smile. "Sorry about McKay. I'm gonna go make sure he waits for 1400 and doesn't go striking off on his own."
Sam watched him go, and sighed again when he was out of sight. She opened her desk drawer and pulled out the picture of Beth.
I really hope Jack's right about it getting easier.
It was a cliché, but the nights were the worst. Long, dark, lonely hours, with nothing to distract her from thoughts of her family. She'd wake in the middle of the night and wonder where the baby monitor was, or why Beth hadn't woken yet crying for a feed.
She told herself it was ridiculous, she'd lived alone for most of her adult life. The truth was she'd been completely unprepared for the hold little Beth would take on her heart, or the degree to which she would physically ache for missing her.
A couple of nights after that first radio contact, she gave up on sleep entirely after a few hours of fruitless tossing and turning. She put on some gym clothes, and went for a run. In her first week in Atlantis, Colonel Sheppard had shown her the route he usually took through the city with his team, and she'd adapted it since then for her daily morning runs.
She'd just worked up to a good solid pace, when she turned a corner and almost collided with Sheppard himself.
"Woah, sorry Colonel." Sheppard said as he side-stepped out of the way.
Sam stopped, breathing hard. "No, it's my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going." She said, waving him off.
"You're up late." He commented.
She chuckled. "So are you."
"I'm always up late." He said dismissively. "Do you often exercise at oh-dark-thirty?"
"Couldn't sleep." She admitted. "I figured a run might tire me out enough to get in a few hours' shut eye before the morning shift."
"Well, don't let me hold you up." Sheppard said congenially. "Good night Colonel."
"Night." She said, and jogged onwards.
At dinner the following day, Sheppard's shadow fell over her meal tray in the mess.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Please." She said, indicating the empty seat opposite.
He sat down, and took a few bites of his dinner. "Did the run work?" He asked in a friendly tone.
She winced, caught between not wanting to lie and not wanting to admit her inner turmoil. "Not really." She admitted.
Sheppard frowned. "Sorry to hear that."
"It's fine, I'm used to operating on very little sleep." She said dismissively.
He squinted at her, silently assessing for a moment, before bluntly asking the one direct question she'd been hoping to avoid.
"Did you leave any family back on Earth?"
She'd decided she wouldn't lie if someone asked. Time to live up to that.
"I have a daughter." She said quickly in an undertone.
"Really?" He said, sounding shocked. "I'm sorry to sound so surprised," he added quickly, "I just … I had no idea."
"I don't tend to talk about my personal life at work, much." She said in explanation.
"I guess that's a good policy in theory, but it probably gets a bit difficult when you live at work twenty-four seven and your personal life is in another galaxy." He observed.
She looked up at him beneath her lashes ruefully. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only to someone who's really paying attention." He said. "You seemed kinda upset after the scheduled check-in with the SGC the other day."
"I'm missing her a lot." Sam admitted with a sigh.
"How old is she?"
"A little over six months."
"Wow." Sheppard winced. "That's gotta be rough."
"Yeah. She's adopted, but even so …"
Realisation suddenly dawned on Sheppard's face. "That's why you're only here for six months."
She nodded.
"Who's looking after her while you're here?"
"Her dad. My husband."
Sheppard blinked. "You're married?"
"Yep." She gave him a tight smile.
"McKay will be crushed."
Sam laughed. "I'm saving it for a rainy day. The look on his face when he finds out is going to be priceless. He's convinced I'm married to my job."
"Give me some warning when you tell him. I'll take pictures."
"You're on." She chuckled.
They took a few more bites of their respective dinners, sobering.
"Seriously though," Sheppard said, "if you ever want to talk …"
Sam smiled. "Thanks."
The next time that the SGC dialled in, Jack sent some videos that he and Cassie had made.
That night, Sam took a cup of coffee to her quarters, and curled up in her desk chair in front of her laptop to watch them. She was more than a little irritated to be interrupted only a couple of minutes after clicking play, by the door chime.
She got up and opened the door.
"Hey." It was Sheppard. "A few of us are getting together for a movie night, we wondered if you wanted to join us?"
"Uh, thanks, but I'm kinda in the middle of something. Rain check?"
"You sure? It's The Italian Job. The classic one …" He said, trying to sound enticing.
Sam smiled sheepishly. "I got some videos of my little girl through with the data burst today." She admitted. "I'm gonna hole up here and watch them all."
"Ooh, really? Can I see?" Sheppard asked.
She hesitated, but then shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
She led him back over to her desk, sat down in the chair as Sheppard hovered behind her, and hit play.
The shaky home video continued. Jack was the one doing the filming, so the picture was of Cassie, holding Beth in her lap and entertaining her with a brightly coloured rattle.
"She's adorable." Sheppard said sincerely. "What's her name?"
"Beth."
Sheppard chuckled. "I know you said she's adopted, but she kinda looks like you."
"We're actually related by blood." Sam said. "But my husband and I adopted her when her parents died in a shooting at a mall."
"That sucks." He said. "About her parents, I mean, not that you adopted her."
Sam smiled up at him over her shoulder. "It's ok, I got it."
"I'll leave you to it." Sheppard said after a moment longer of watching. He patted her shoulder. "Have fun."
Sam tucked her legs up under her when he left, picking up her coffee mug and cradling it in both hands. She had no intention of moving for the rest of the night.
It still hurt to be so far away, but with hours of video to immerse herself in, and with the friends she was slowly making, the pain wasn't quite so debilitating. Maybe, just maybe, she'd make it through this assignment with her heart in one piece.