..As some of you may know I've had quite the trouble with this chapter. I mean, I knew what was supposed to happen (kind of), I just had to think a little harder as to how I could make it happen.
This is actually the part I've known about for many months; Blaine's past. I hope you'll 'enjoy' it (maybe enjoy is the wrong word). So here it is. I give you chapter 15! *le smiley face*
Fuck.
One punch.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Two punches, three punches.
Fuck, fuck, f-
"God DAMN IT!" Every face in the gym turned to look at the hunched over figure leaning heavily against his punching bag. Harsh panting was falling from his lips but he repeated what he'd been doing for the past two hours. Swallowed thickly, straightened up and kept punching. Sweat was running down his back, soaking his undershirt; seeing as he'd already shred the sweatshirt after half an hour of moving around the punching bag.
Blaine wiped away the sweat falling in his eyes and groaned as he rested his damp forehead against the bag. He was tired. So tired. But he knew he had to do something to keep his mind off how much of an asshole he always was. He took a step back and was about to swing again when a pause in the music let him hear the voice talking to him.
"-kicked your bike?" It said sarcastically and Blaine closed his eyes. He didn't have the energy for this. He felt a tug on his left earplug and it fell out; bringing the volume of his music down several levels.
"Or maybe you've just had a bad fuck?" Sebastian spoke with an uncaring voice as he pulled out Blaine's other earplug; getting his full attention.
"What do you want, Smythe?" Blaine growled as he stomped away. He really didn't have the energy for this. He ripped off his gloves and threw them on the ground.
"Oh, you know what I want. But right now we're talking about you. Did someone finally shoot your dad and you realized he was everything you ever wanted to be?" It hit home hard. Blaine whipped around with a glare. Sebastian knew what his dad was like; they'd gone to school together when everything happened after all.
"Fuck you."
"Sure, but you gotta shower first, you smell like something dying," Sebastian retorted with a cold smirk. Blaine clenched his teeth in anger but didn't lash out.
"Fuck off," he said and turned around to walk away. He could go for a jog or something instead of staying near the asshole. But he froze when Sebastian spoke up again.
"Is it your 'boyfriend'?" Blaine didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. His silence was confirmation enough. "So it was a bad fuck after all," Sebastian laughed and Blaine felt the anger boil in his veins. "Oh no, don't tell me. He dumped your sorry ass?" Blaine had a feeling Sebastian was searching for a reaction but he was too angry to think it over.
"Don't worry, whores don't stay around long," he laughed and Blaine snapped. He surged forward and smashed his fist to Sebastian's cheek. The taller man was taken by surprise for half a second before he countered with a hit of his own; sending Blaine a few stumbling steps back.
"What is it, Blaine? Can't take me talking about your whore?" His signature smirk was set even as Blaine growled and surged forward again. But Sebastian wasn't that easy; they'd both been boxing since they were kids and Sebastian knew how to parry Blaine's hits.
A left jab.
"It's not like he would really ever want someone as fucked up as you," Sebastian taunted.
A right hook.
"Or maybe he was one of the desperate ones? Begging to have you fuck him in a bathroom somewhere? I'm disappointed Blaine, I thought you had more class than that," he continued as the punches became more and more dangerous.
Two steps and a frustrated left block.
They kept dancing around each other with practiced movements. Neither was giving up easily and Blaine was panting hard by the time he actually got a clear punch in. Sebastian landed on the floor with a breathless sound and soon found himself looking directly into Blaine's eyes.
"Don't you ever talk about Kurt like that again," Blaine spat and walked away. He missed the small smile and sigh Sebastian let out.
Maybe Sebastian would never be Blaine's friend, but he knew exactly how to draw out his frustrations. After all, they had known each other for four years.
xxx
Blaine was furious.
He was utterly and completely furious.
Tomorrow would be Christmas and he was buried to the neck in work that apparently needed to be done before New Year, and you'll make sure that happens, Blaine. Hearing his father's words in his head again, Blaine rose from his desk and stomped over to the window to grab his cigarettes.
xxx
"I really wish you'd quit those," Kurt had said with a sigh as Blaine pulled out a cigarette. It had been a horrible day with more fights with his dad than he was comfortable counting.
"It helps me calm down," Blaine murmured but didn't get to light the cigarette before Kurt had taken it out of his mouth.
"I'm sure you can find better ways to calm down," he'd said with a glint in his eye and Blaine had smirked. Oh yea, he could definitely find better ways to occupy his mouth and relax.
xxx
He threw the nearly full packet on the floor and buried his face in his hands. Blaine Anderson didn't do feelings. Not like this. And still, here he was, wishing with every fiber of his body that he had just told Kurt the whole truth. If he'd just told Kurt what was going through his head - what always went through his head around Christmas - he wouldn't have had to take the call from his father with no excuse as to why he couldn't work during the holiday.
Blaine had tried protesting. He'd tried being polite (as much as he could towards the old bastard) even. But he'd used the mom card. Again. And Blaine was getting sick of it.
At the thought of his mom, Blaine turned to the pictures on the shelf over his desk. He gently moved the ones in front and pulled out a framed picture of a woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes. Her smile was radiant - and contagious, because a small smile showed itself on Blaine's face - even in the old photo, and she was holding hands with a dark haired boy and a blonde girl.
Blaine's soft smiled melted away. He looked at the clock and then grabbed his keys and jacket, before making his way out of the apartment.
Since Blaine was thirteen he'd been to the hospital so many times he'd lost count. Not only because he was injured, but because there was someone he needed to see. He hadn't been there much the past few months; not since he met Kurt. Wonderful Kurt, who was in Ohio with his family and without a doubt hating Blaine, because he couldn't be honest with anything.
Blaine walked into the hospital with a sigh and moved through the corridors with practiced ease. A dark haired nurse smiled at him and waved as he walked past and he nodded to her as well, just like he'd always done. Almost all the nurses knew who Blaine Anderson was.
The kid who'd forced his way into the hospital all those years ago, screaming and crying and spending a week in the room without ever going home.
But also the young man who kept coming by alone, even when he had broken bones or a bad cold. He would always find time to go to the hospital.
And now he was the grown up man who despite his dangerous looks walked quietly through the halls and nodded politely to the nurses.
Blaine Anderson.
The boy who lost everything but still kept coming by, just to get a glimpse. The boy who got beaten up in his old school but still stumbled down to tell her happy birthday. The boy who always spent Christmas in her room. Just to make sure she was still breathing.
Blaine reached room number 534 and stood outside for a few minutes, just collecting himself. Evening out his breathing. Relaxing. Trying not to think of Kurt.
A warm hand settled on his shoulder slowly and Blaine turned his head to look into a pair of green eyes. Green eyes, which had been watching him since he was thirteen.
"Hi Marcy," he said softly, and gave her a soft smile.
"Hi honey," Marcy smiled back. "Still not got any plans on Christmas, huh?" She always asked Blaine why he didn't do something else on Christmas. And his answer was always the same.
"She is my plans." Marcy nodded with a sad smile and continued walking down the hall. Blaine took a deep breath before pushing the door open.
"Hi sweetie," he greeted gently when he closed the door behind him. Anyone other than the nurses wouldn't have recognized his voice; it was soft and sweet, like soft silk running over naked skin. He was always gentle when he spoke in her room.
"How are you?" He knew there would be no answer, but he kept on asking anyway. They said that the last thing you lost was your hearing, so he would keep on talking to her as long as he could. He sat on the edge of the bed and sighed.
"Kurt and I fought again," he said quietly. He turned to look down at her face and felt the tears start to prickle behind his eyes. It was all too soon to start crying though. He had to stay strong. For both of them. "I was an asshole again, Sam. I don't think he's gonna forgive me this time," he whispered.
"I was going to spend Christmas with him," he explained and cupped her cheek. Not quite warm, but not cold either. Just like always. "But instead I ended up hurting him. Again. God, you would've been so disappointed in me, baby girl."
"It's not like I don't want to be with him, but this is our time," Blaine mumbled after a few moments of silence and stroked the curly locks out of her face. Christmas was her favorite day of the entire year. It was even better than her birthday because on Christmas everybody got gifts. That's what she used to say at least.
"Even daddy seems nicer, don'tcha think Blaine?" She used to say. And Blaine would nod. Of course their dad would be nicer around Christmas. Sam never left his side during December.
"I think he loves you on Christmas. He has to love you. Right Blaine?" And again he'd nod.
"Of course he loves me, Sam. He loves both of us."
"But me just a bit more, right?" She'd joke with a toothy grin. She didn't know how right she was, so Blaine was left with his never-ending nodding and small smiles.
As he looked down at his little sister's unmoving body, Blaine suppressed a sob. It was too hard. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't handle being alone.
"I'm sorry," he muttered and placed a kiss on her forehead before making his way out the door.
"Blaine?" Marcy called after him as he walked past her with fast steps.
"I'm sorry; I have somewhere I need to be. I'll come back before new year!" He yelled back over his shoulder and started running. He had a plane to catch.
xxx
Kurt sighed as he rubbed a hand over his eyes. He was so tired. He'd helped his parents with the Christmas cooking and after setting the table and making small-talk and trying to put on a brave face, he felt exhausted. Staying at home was amazing as always, but he'd had to explain to Carole and Burt why Blaine hadn't come with him, like they'd originally planned.
And he just couldn't get the curly haired man out of his head. He knew this fight had been bad. It seemed like they couldn't fight over small things. And now he had no idea where he and Blaine were. Were they even still together? Kurt had been so furious and hurt when he'd left Blaine's apartment a few days ago, but that didn't mean he'd wanted to break up.
But he hadn't heard anything from Blaine. No texts, no calls; nothing. And Kurt hadn't tried to contact Blaine. He was pretty sure they were supposed to be adults and fix things, but there seemed to always end up being a childish pull in his pride that made him not push the call button on his phone.
It wasn't his fault this time. Blaine could've just told him from the start that he didn't want to spend Christmas with Kurt and his family. But then again Blaine had lost someone. And Kurt knew how painful it could be. Losing a loved one was awful and losing a mother… Well, it wasn't easy. It wasn't excuse to treat Kurt the way he'd done though.
Kurt sighed as his thoughts kept running around in circles.
He had only just finished the dishes when the doorbell rang. He looked at the clock on the wall, wondering who on earth would come by at 11pm on Christmas Eve? He heard his dad move from the couch in the living room and shrugged. Maybe his dad was expecting someone.
xxx
When Burt Hummel opened the front door, ready to tell the person showing up at 11pm on Christmas just how rude that was considered, he was met by a boy he'd never laid eyes on before. He was kind of short and with dark, unruly hair. His shoulders were hunched in his leather jacket and Burt instantly felt protective when he saw the piercings in the kid's ear. But then he started talking.
"M-Mr. Hummel?" The kid asked nervously.
"Yea?"
"I, um," Be polite, be polite, c'mon be 13 again. "I'm looking for, for Kurt."
"Who is it dad? We were just about to- Blaine." Kurt showed up in the doorway but stopped short when he saw who was standing on the other side of the door.
"Blaine?" Burt felt a protective jolt in his chest. This was the kid who'd caused Kurt to sulk for two days. But then he saw the way the kid's eyes lit up as he let out a "Kurt," and the way his brows furrowed as if he realized he might not be welcome.
"I'll let you two, eh, talk," Burt said awkwardly and made his way back to the living room. The boys were adults and he'd really rather not be there when Kurt unleashed his frustration.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked as his father walked away, crossing his arms defensively. Blaine had expected as much, so he didn't let it get him down. He only had one chance to make it right. He wasn't getting another chance again.
"I'm, um. I wanted to talk to you."
"Well, you weren't all that keen about talking the other day," Kurt snapped. He might've missed Blaine but he was not ready to forgive him yet.
"I," Blaine swallowed quickly but figured he might as well just spit it out. "That's actually what I wanted to, to talk about." Kurt looked unconvinced.
"We can even talk out here so you won't have to throw me out?" He tried. A little spark of success ran through his heart when Kurt's lips curled into a barely-there smile. It was better than the frown at least.
"Fine," Kurt said and walked out to the porch, quietly shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the house and quirked an eyebrow, as if to say 'go on'. Blaine took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," he said. It was a start. Now he just needed an ending. Kurt opened his mouth, but Blaine started talking again before he got the chance to speak. "I'm sorry I was an asshole to you. It had nothing to do with you and I just let my frustrations out on you and I'm sorry." At least Kurt was biting his lip now and not shooting him glares.
"I'm sorry for not stopping you before you left, and I'm so sorry I didn't have the guts to at least call you to apologize at once. I'm sorry it took me a punch to the head and… and such to get over myself and come see you." Blaine knew he'd have to tell Kurt about Sam, but he needed them to be okay first.
"I'm not, I'm not saying it's okay or trying to defend my behavior, but I did have a reason to be an ass, I just shouldn't have let it out on you or, or y'know, anybody. I'm so sorry Kurt."
Kurt wanted to be angry. He really did.
He wanted to scream at Blaine that he deserved better. That Blaine had really hurt him.
But he'd also come to a conclusion in the last few days. Blaine meant more to him than he'd originally thought. It scared him, but it also gave him a kind of comfort. He was not ruined. He could still trust and love people.
So instead of screaming and slapping Blaine, Kurt nodded.
"This was your third strike, Blaine."
The look on Blaine's face could easily match the one on a kid's Christmas morning after getting his most wanted present. Surprise and pure joy running through his veins.
"I know," Blaine said, but he stopped talking when Kurt held up a hand. He was not going to scream no, but they needed to talk this through.
"I'm not saying you can never make mistakes again, I mean, we're both human and I know there'll be fights in the future," Kurt said. "But then fight, Blaine. Fight with me, yell at me. Don't just lock yourself in and push me away. This was the last time. I'm not coming back if you do it again."
"I know…" This time Blaine's voice sounded more defeated, but Kurt wasn't finished. He wasn't going to put the blame on Blaine alone. They were two in this relationship after all.
"On that note I should apologize too. I more or less forced you to spend Christmas in my home and I'm sorry. I should've listened more to you," he sighed, because as he said it he knew it was true. He'd once again let his thoughts run wild and not listened to Blaine at all.
"You have no reason to apologize Kurt, you didn't do anything wrong! If I really didn't want to celebrate Christmas, I should've just fucking said so."
"I know, but-"
"No, no, let me finish." Blaine looked like he was about to take Kurt's hand, but then he reconsidered. He would rather keep his hands to himself than have Kurt rip away from him half-way through the story he was about to tell. "I, um." He took a deep breath before closing his eyes. "You remember I told you I lost someone?"
"Yea, but you already told me your mom was-"
"It's not my mom," Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his hair; reminding himself how much like a mess he must look. "It's, I mean." He squeezed his eyes shut again. "I have a little sister. Sam." As soon as the words finally left his mouth, he couldn't seem to stop them. "Or Samantha, but she really just preferred Sam. She's like six years younger than me and we don't really look alike except, except the hair, but she looks more like mom than I do, and-"He snapped his mouth shut when he realized he was babbling.
"Um. When she was six, mom and dad weren't home much during the summer, so I had to, to take care of her. We went for ice cream one day, and… and…"
xxx
Blaine had had a crush on the ice cream selling boy for weeks now. He'd tried every way to get his attention and actually got a name out of him a week or so ago. Ryan was a blond, tall guy with dark blue eyes and a crooked smile.
"Blaine, I want the vanilla kind!" The curly haired little girl by his side exclaimed and grabbed his sleeve. Blaine pulled away with an annoyed expression on his face. The only reason he couldn't ever get to talk to Ryan was that his little sister was always there with him.
"Yea, sure Sam, I'll just-" He started, but Samantha Anderson had changed her mind in the meantime.
"No wait, I want chocolate!" She said with a big smile; one of her front teeth missing. She'd lost it just the other day.
"Fine, but-" Blaine sighed.
"No, no! The caramel and chocolate kind!" The five year old suddenly said and pointed to let him know precisely which one she wanted.
"I said fine, Samantha!" He snapped.
"Are you mad at me?" Samantha mumbled as her eyes filled with tears. The young girl was so easy to set off crying, and the past few months it was always Blaine who made her. After finally coming out, his life hadn't been anywhere near perfect and it seemed like he was starting to let it out on his sister.
"No, I just… No. But go wait over there," Blaine said and tried to keep his annoyance to a minimum. At least he could send her to sit at the bench while he talked to Ryan. Ryan, who was suddenly talking.
"Oh hi, Blaine," he said with a charming smile. "What can I get you today?"
Just as Blaine opened his mouth to answer he heard the unmistakable sound of wheels screeching on pavement. It was as if the world went into slow motion; he turned around slowly, eyes widening at the sight in front of him. A black car was on the road; the wheels twisted at weird angles and the driver running out of the driver's seat. A woman started screaming; some parents lead their kids away. And there in front of the black car was she lying. Motionless.
Samantha.
The car had hit his baby sister.
xxx
"I didn't mean to, I never, I never meant for her to hurt, I loved her, I love her, she's my everything, Kurt, I swear I never meant to hurt her," Blaine babbling and he was pretty sure the wet drops sliding down his face were tears, but he couldn't help it. He needed Kurt not to hate him, not to loathe him like everybody else. He just needed Kurt to understand.
"Blaine." Kurt's voice was like soft silk running over his skin and Blaine felt himself hunch even further in his shoulders. Please, please, please. He prayed to every god and force he knew the name of. "Blaine, look at me."
The curly haired man raised his head slowly and when he was met with kind eyes shining with tears, he felt his heart skip a beat.
"How in the world could you think that was your fault?" And then he broke. Because how could someone he'd known for less than a year say just the thing he'd longed to hear for years? How could Kurt just swoop into his life and make him feel like he'd wasted those years trying to isolate himself? He was sick and tired of playing bad and strong. He needed someone to barge in and help him for once.
"Oh baby," Kurt mumbled and the next second had his arms wound tightly around Blaine's body. Blaine knew Kurt was taller than him, but suddenly it felt like such a perfect thing, when his head fit into the crook under his chin and he could bury his face in his shirt.
"She, she didn't even get to first grade and, and I've never- she never- Kurt, I swear I didn't-" He kept talking and choking off sentences like he needed to defend himself but couldn't. There were not enough words to express what he'd felt through the years or how many times he'd tried to find the words that could defend himself against his own hate.
"Blaine," Kurt cooed gently in his ear. "It's okay. I know you didn't. It's not your fault, okay? It never was and it won't ever be. You were just a child, honey, you didn't do anything wrong."
Blaine let himself believe that, if only for a few minutes as he hugged Kurt tighter.
A voice was cleared a few feet from them and they both took a step back. Burt was standing in the doorway, looking slightly awkward. He didn't want to interrupt but it was getting late and cold and Kurt wasn't wearing a jacket.
"Blaine's gonna stay over," Kurt explained and took the other boy's hand.
"Kurt, I'm not sure that-" Burt started, obviously worried that the kid who'd made his son so moody was going to stay in his home.
"Dad," Kurt used his stern voice to stop his father.
"What?"
"How old I am?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Burt groaned.
"Not again Kurt, I-"
"Precisely. We had this talk as late as yesterday because I wanted to go for a walk alone," Kurt sighed. Being a worried parent was fine, but Burt just didn't seem to have any boundaries in the department.
"It's was almost midnight!" Burt protested weakly.
"And I'm 21 years old, dad!" The two Hummels had a staring competition that had Blaine almost take a step back. Burt gave up first though.
"Fine. But remember that tomorrow-"
"Is Christmas. I'm not going to forget just because my boyfriend is here, dad." Blaine lifted his gaze from the floor at the word 'boyfriend' and almost smiled. Almost. He missed the next thing the Hummels were discussing, but a moment later he was pulled into the house and towards a flight of stairs. They were stopped by Burt's cough behind them though.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked.
"Seriously?" Kurt whined. "Now?" Burt just looked at his son with crossed arms. "Fine!" And then Blaine was pulled away from the stairs and into another room, where a woman sat on the couch.
"Carole, this is Blaine," Kurt said and then turned to Blaine with his behave-or-I'll-slaughter-you-face and Blaine instantly knew that it would be important for him to make a good impression. He hadn't done that great with Kurt's dad (even though he hadn't cursed), so he'd have to win over his stepmom. Blaine released Kurt's hand and took a step forward to hold it out to the woman.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hummel," he said in his best gentleman voice. Granted, after he turned 13 he'd only ever used it to get people into his bed, but it seemed to work for this purpose too.
"Oh please call me Carole dear. The pleasure is all mine," She responded and shook his hand. Blaine mentally fist-pumped; stepmom approval was not far away. If he hadn't felt so drained he might actually have fist-pumped. Kurt looked at his father with a challenging look and finally Burt nodded. They were free to go. So Blaine was once again dragged to the stairs and up to Kurt's room.
Kurt's room was… just that. Kurt's. It was clear in the tasteful design and colors. But Blaine didn't have much time to look around before Kurt had pulled him close again and locked their lips together.
Blaine was surprised at first, but he didn't object when Kurt's arms sneaked around his waist and pulled their bodies together. A gentle hand ran through his hair and in the few seconds their lips stopped touching Kurt sighed out "Blaine" softly. He didn't have time to respond before they were kissing again though.
His eyelids fluttered shut, but his brain wouldn't shut up. It was wrong. He couldn't just let Kurt comfort him this way, when he knew it wasn't the way Kurt was comfortable with. Blaine knew he wasn't the only person out there who took comfort in physical contact; maybe even craved it, to make sure he was wanted. (Hence, all the fucking around. He was not stupid; of course he knew why he'd done it). But he also knew that Kurt wasn't like that.
Kurt wanted to talk, Kurt wanted words. Kurt needed words as conformation, unlike Blaine. And yet here he was, kissing Blaine because he knew that's what he wanted. So Blaine did the only thing he could. He pushed Kurt back a little.
"Kurt," he said when the brunette opened his eyes. Blaine tried to ignore the way his stomach swooped after seeing how dark they were. "You really don't have to do this."
They both knew what he was talking about. After being together for so long they were slowly, but surely figuring each other out.
"You-" But Blaine didn't get time to talk. Kurt crashed their lips together again, quickly deepening the kiss by biting Blaine's lower lip softly. He took a slow step forward; pressing Blaine further into his room, until the back of his knees hit the bed and he fell down on the bed.
"I want to," Kurt said as he placed his legs on each side of Blaine's body; straddling him but not letting their bodies touch. He bent down to kiss Blaine again, but the curly haired man put a hand to his chest.
"To what?" He asked. It was Blaine's turn to need the words. But he knew he'd never forgive himself if he forced Kurt into something he wasn't ready to, or never really wanted in the first place. Kurt blushed slightly, but didn't stray from his position.
"Not… everything," he said slowly. "But something." Kurt unzipped and pushed Blaine's hoodie off his shoulders with gentle movements before kissing him sweetly on the mouth.
"You gotta help me through this," he whispered against the soft lips and then began kissing his way down Blaine's chin, jaw and neck.
"Since when were you this confident?" Blaine moaned as Kurt sucked on his Adam's apple.
"I had a good teacher," Kurt teased and then let his fingers touch under Blaine's t-shirt. Blaine shivered slightly at the gentle touch and soon he was raising his hands to help Kurt get the shirt off him. They had seen each other shirtless a few times already, but never in this much light and Kurt had never had the time to just look. So he made the best of the time now and kept his eyes open as he trailed kisses down Blaine's toned stomach.
When he reached Blaine's pants, he hesitated slightly. Blaine wasn't blind even though he was lying down and he rose to his elbows and cupped Kurt's jaw slightly.
"Hey," he said softly. "It's- You really don't have to, Kurt. You- I won't think any less of you, if you don't. I won't be mad." Kurt looked up at him through his lashes and Blaine almost took back his words, just to make sure Kurt always looked at him like that. But he wasn't an asshole. Okay, not a complete asshole then.
"I want to," Kurt whispered softly. "I'm ready." Blaine didn't know if it was to reassure him or Kurt himself, but it seemed to work either way, because Kurt started undoing his jeans as he leaned up for a kiss. Soon that piece of clothing was on the floor too, and Kurt was biting his lip as he hooked his fingers underneath Blaine's boxers.
"You gotta strip for me too, or I'll get complexes," Blaine joked with a soft smile. Kurt chuckled before pulled off his sweater and shirt in one go. He forgot to be shy until he saw Blaine's eyes roam his naked chest. He felt the blush slowly creeping into his cheeks but did his best to ignore it as he stood up from the bed.
Blaine took the opportunity to actually position himself on the bed; scooting over the edge a bit, so his feet touched the ground (or would've if he was a bit taller). Kurt unbuttoned his jeans and let them slide to the floor before he did the same; slightly surprised that Blaine had dropped a pillow down there for him to sit on. Right. Because Blaine actually knew what he was doing.
Kurt felt his nerves creep back up but refused to stop. He'd thought about this for a few weeks now, and he knew he was ready. He just didn't know what the hell he was doing.
"Babe," Blaine called out softly. He knew he'd already said Kurt didn't have to do this, but the brunette was starting to look nervous again, and he just had to make sure it was okay. Kurt's jaw tensed and he saw determination in his eyes, and then Blaine felt fingers on his skin again. More precisely, on his hipbones as Kurt hooked his fingers into his boxers again, but this time he actually pulled them down.
Kurt's eyes grew as he looked at Blaine; totally undressed. Of course he'd seen a dick before, he had one of his own after all, and he'd held Blaine's in his hand, but he'd never seen it directly. He'd never seen it this close. He was slightly surprised to feel his mouth water. Was that normal?
"Um," Kurt looked up at Blaine with red cheeks and bit his lip. He had a fairly good idea on how to proceed - he wasn't an idiot - but he wasn't sure if there was something Blaine wanted him to do. Blaine got his point with the hesitation.
"Just... Do what feels right," He said as he rested on his elbows. Kurt nodded slightly and placed his hands on each of Blaine's thighs. "Fold your lips over your teeth and-" He almost choked on his tongue, when Kurt licked a broad stripe up his erection. "Oh fuck!" Kurt looked up at him with a small smile.
"You gotta be quiet though," he said quietly and Blaine almost groaned.
"It's not me who- Oh my God!" Blaine exclaimed as Kurt wrapped his lips around the head of his cock. He gritted his teeth together to stop from bursting anything else out, but Kurt was slowly working his tongue over him and really? Was he just supposed to shut up?
Kurt smiled a bit, as much as he could around a mouthful of dick. It wasn't as bad as he'd thought; Blaine's skin tasted mostly like the rest of him, except it might be a bit saltier. He swept his tongue over the head to catch where the taste was strongest. He pulled back slowly; careful not to let his teeth touch. He took a deep breath through his mouth as he grabbed Blaine length with his right hand. He looked up to see Blaine with his head thrown back and his lower lip between his teeth.
Kurt felt a tightening in his abdomen at the sight and licked his lips before lowering his head again. He took Blaine in again but lowered his lips even further; down under the head, pressing his tongue flat against the side of Blaine's cock. He felt the head brush the roof of his mouth and made a sound in the back of his throat. Suddenly he felt a hand on the back of his head and Kurt raised his eyes to see Blaine looking down at him with lust-blown eyes.
"Kurt," he croaked and Kurt was about to abandon everything and just kiss him when Blaine pushed at his head a little. Kurt breathed in through his nose and felt the need to swallow. He didn't know if he'd be able to with his mouth on Blaine, but he decided he'd better try it out, so he didn't have to leave his position. He was becoming rather fond of the strong smell and taste of Blaine.
Kurt pulled back a fraction of an inch and swallowed to get the air down in his lungs. He didn't expect the reaction from Blaine that he got. Blaine's hand grabbed Kurt's hair hard; hard enough to make him wince, but he didn't notice all that much when Blaine let out a long and broken moan.
"Oh God, again, do that again, Kurt please," Blaine mumbled as he collapsed to the bed. Kurt was confused for about half a second before he swallowed again. Blaine's back arched off the bed an inch or two before slamming back against the sheets. "Fuck," he swore lowly and Kurt felt a bit of confidence sneak its way into his movements.
He took Blaine deeper into his mouth; hand wrapping around the bit he couldn't get. He was not about to choke himself on his first blowjob, so instead of trying to get more of Blaine into his mouth, he did his best to use his tongue right. He listened to the way Blaine's breath would hitch and his moans would become louder, before he decided to bite his own palm.
"Kurt," Blaine choked out after a twist of his wrist. "Kurt, you gotta-" A moan interrupted him as Kurt sucked experimentally. "You gotta stop," he finally panted out. That was the best warning he could give with Kurt on his knees with his dick in his mouth. Blaine was fairly sure it was the best blowjob of his life, because even if Kurt couldn't take him all the way, his tongue was working some magic and he was a natural at this.
Kurt looked up through his lashes at his boyfriend's completely taken-apart look and moved his lips down just a tad more, while his own hand found its way to his clothes cock. He didn't know how it was possible, but he was pretty sure he could get off on sucking Blaine off.
"Kurt," Blaine moaned as a final warning. He was so close. Kurt didn't stop though; instead he rose a bit on his knees to get a better angle and then he sucked until his cheeks hollowed.
Blaine threw his head back; eyes closed and back arching impossibly high off the bed and came harder than he'd ever come in his entire life. Blaine's movements ensure that his cock was buried in Kurt's mouth and Kurt swallowed to his best ability, but he was pretty sure the wetness down his chin was a mix of Blaine's come and his own spit.
Kurt drew back when Blaine started shaking. He wiped a hand over his mouth to remove the worst mess and then looked up at Blaine. He was slightly taken aback by the warmth in his eyes. They smiled shyly at each other before Blaine sat up fully.
"Your turn," Blaine said and reached for him, but the brunette moved back a bit.
"No, it's, it's fine Blaine," Kurt mumbled.
"C'mon babe, let me take care of you."
"Um, you kinda… don't have to." Blaine noticed the way he had his hands in his lap, almost as if he was hiding something there. Oh. And Kurt looked so embarrassed that Blaine smiled at him softly.
"It's happens to the best of us," he said with a teasing smile, but he could see Kurt smiling too, so he knew he was forgiven. "Come here," he moved further up the bed and opened his arms as he kicked down the comforter.
Kurt got up from the floor and winced at the sticky feeling in his boxers. He looked at Blaine's arms for a second before turning to his bathroom. "Just a second," he held up a hand and disappeared into the bathroom. He emerged in a clean pair of boxers and another pair in his hands. He threw them at Blaine who just whined.
"Do I have to?"
"If you want to cuddle, yes," Kurt smiled. Blaine stuck his tongue out at him but pulled the boxers on nonetheless. Then he opened his arms again. Kurt chuckled and turned off the lights before making his way over to the bed.
"Better?" Blaine asked when Kurt had snuggled into his chest and he'd pulled the comforter up over their bodies.
"Much," Kurt said and wrapped an arm around Blaine's middle. They lay in comfortable silence for a while and Kurt almost thought Blaine was sleeping when he spoke up.
"Kurt?" Blaine whispered.
"Mmh?"
"When we get back home I have someone I'd like you to meet."
"I'd love to," Kurt murmured and hugged Blaine closer before his eyelids dropped.
Thoughts, my dear readers?
Oh yea, and I should probably apologize for making y'all suffer through all those fights and stuff, that's why the scene at the end was written. I was actually gonna stop the chapter after the flashback, but then I was like 'oh my god, stop making them fucking suffer with you' and I wrote the rest.
I'm forgiven when I give out smut, right? RiGhT?!
(thank you to the Kurt to my Blaine (masturblainrs on tumblr; Krisus on here) for the smut help! ILU)