Chapter Fifteen-More Than Complicated

Come to me now and lay your hands over me

Even if it's a lie say it will be alright

And I shall believe.

Broken in two and I know you're onto me

That I only come home when I'm so all alone

But I do believe.

"I Shall Believe" by Sheryl Crow

"You are dancing on a fine line girl," Kim said slapping the newspaper on the table between us. I flipped it over and saw a picture of Gabriel and I from the night before.

"Financial genius and heir to family fortune Gabriel Smith pictured with mysterious friend Bella Swan," I read. I shuddered and threw the paper onto the table.

"Dumb move," Raven said taking a sip of coffee.

"He didn't tell me until the photographers were already in my face," I said. "Plus it's not like Victoria doesn't know where I am already. I didn't tip her off or anything."

"Paul is going to flip shit," Leah commented blandly. "You two look like the better, saner version of Barbie and Ken."

"I'm trying to find the compliment in that," I said wryly. "But it's just getting lost."

"I know you've been trying to find an out for this supernatural stuff," Raven said. "But there is no way out for you babe. You're in it. You can't pretend like it doesn't exist."

"Oh my fucking god," I said slamming both hands on the table. "Seriously it wasn't even really a date so chill the fuck out."

"She likes him," Kim commented to Raven. "They'd make pretty babies at least." Leah sat in the chair next to me and took my hands in hers. I looked up in surprise. Her dark eyes were serious.

"Bella this isn't some sort of game," she said quietly. "I have known Paul his entire life. You were the first girl he has never hightailed it away from the minute after the deed was over. It may not seem this way to you but that means something." I shook my head.

"Paul is a man whore," I said. "He's not going to change just because I bat my eyes at him." Leah squeezed my hands and I met her eyes again.

"I get to see things in him that you don't," she said. "And I am telling you that if you walk away he will be devastated. Can you do that to him? Can you walk away knowing and living with what you have done?" I pulled my hands away from hers and put them in my lap.

"I don't want to be trapped into a relationship just because Paul wasn't hugged enough as a child," I said petulantly. Kim laughed hollowly.

"Try at all," she said. I looked at her in surprise. "Paul has been on his own for years. Don't you see how he reacts to the slightest touch? Like when Emily hugs him? It's the only human contact he has really ever had."

"His mom was not ready to be a mom," Raven added. "And she treated him that way until she left with some guy. Or that's what I heard."

"He used to take turns crashing at friend's house so he didn't have to sleep alone," Leah said. "And I am not using this as an excuse for his asshole ways, I really am not. I just think you write him off because you don't know everything." I thought about her words as I drove the thirty minutes to my apartment. Did I really shove Paul into some box just because of what I assumed? Or was it that I just didn't have any more to give to anyone?

"You're back early," Paul said. His eyes were wary; guarded.

"Leah sent me away," I said honestly. I curled up into an armchair. "She said I need to stop being a chicken shit and actually talk to you."

"Leah is usually right," he said. "As much as we all hate to admit it."

"She told me about how you grew up," I offered. He looked away.

"I'm sorry she put that on you," he said. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

"She thought it might help me get over the fact that you'll screw anything in a skirt," I said. "Don't get mad at her." He sighed.

"I'm not," he said quietly. "It made you come here and actually have a conversation that doesn't include yelling."

"I need to know what you want out of this," I said gesturing at the space between the two of us. "I'm not clear on that at all."

"I want you," he said softly. He lifted his eyes to mine again. "And not just in my bed. I want any part of me that you are willing to give me. I've wanted that for a long time but everyone kept telling me it would just scare you away." I took a shaky breath.

"I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not," I said honestly. "I let myself fall for first Edward and then for Jake and look what happened. You can't expect me not to be cautious."

"There's cautious and then there is ice queen," he said. "You've been completely freezing me out."

"It's easier than admitting the truth," I said slowly. He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again.

"I'm not saying this is going to be easy," he said slowly. "We're going to fight and it's going to be hard. It's going to be really hard. But I want this. I want you." He slid to his knees on the floor in front of me; hands touching my knees gently. I started to close my eyes but he lifted a single finger to my chin; forcing me to meet his open gaze.

"Paul," I said trying to look away. He held my chin firmly with just that single finger. I realized then just how much strength he had and how gentle he really had been.

"Don't," he said softly. "I hate it when you hide from me."

"We have to do this slowly," I said finally. "We did everything wrong." He smiled.

"Not everything," he teased. I met his gaze steadily.

"I mean it Paul," I said. "We jumped into bed before we even knew each other."

"So set a timeline," he said. "Like a goal."

"Six weeks," I said. "We spend time actually getting to know one another for the next six weeks. If we don't kill each other before it's over we can give this is real shot."

"And GQ?" He asked with a sneer.

"He's my friend," I said. "But I won't take it any further than that until we settle things between us." He released my chin and stuck out his hand. I took it and he shook firmly.

"Deal," he said flashing that perfect smile.