I was groggy when I woke up the next morning. It took me a second to remember what happened the night before but when I did, I bounded out of bed. I grabbed the closest clothes and pulled them on as I ran out the door. I ran down the hall to the infirmary, but the door was open and no one was there.

My stomach lurched and I fought down the urge to vomit. I walked in and sat down on one of the chairs. I was staring at the table when Tyreese walked through the doors followed by Beth. Tyreese was holding Gertie in his arms. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. He put her down and she wobbled her way over to me. As soon as she arrived she plopped herself on the floor and started snoring.

I looked over at Beth with my mouth hung open. Beth laughed. "She's a very cooperative drunk. Daddy said he thinks she's going to be fine. We're going to check her urine later to see how many crystals are in there. If there isn't many it means the alcohol is working." I sank down to the floor next to Gertie and pulled her into my lap. I kissed the top of her head. She even smelled like rubbing alcohol. Beth cleared her throat. "I hope you're not mad at me about last night. The shot I mean. You really did look like you needed it."

I grinned up at her. "Don't worry, you were just doing as you were told. I'd kill your father except I'm so ecstatic right now." I chuckled as Gertie started wagging her tail in her sleep.

Beth beamed at us. "I'm going to be in here all day. Daddy wants everything cleaned after Axel was in here doing the generator. So I'll watch her and give her the 'medicine'. " Beth held up the jar of moonshine.

I gave Gertie another kiss and slid her off my lap so I could stand up. "Alright, I'll go see how Jolie's doing. Is Carol still over there?" When Beth didn't answer right away I glanced over at her. She was looking at her feet. "Beth?"

She twisted around to face me. "Jolie died last night. Rick went over and took care of it."

I felt my happy mood vanish. "Oh. Have you been over there?" Beth shook her head. "Alright. I'll go check on Mary. I'll be back in a bit to check on Gertie. You'll get me if something changes?"

"Sure, right away."

"Thank you for looking after Gertie today, Beth. I really appreciate it. It's just as well I know nothing about dogs. I'd probably poke her awake evey ten minutes just to be sure."

Beth started to laugh. "Somehow, I don't doubt it."

I ran into Rick outside of the bathroom. "You're up," he said.

"Yeah. Whatever Hershel gave me really knocked me out." I was still trying to shake off the fog. "Rick, thanks for helping with Gertie last night. I know I was a little bit of a mess."

"A little?" Rick started to snicker but at my look he reigned it in. "Ahem, sorry. Look, Gertie's really important to you. Everyone here loves her and she's been a big help with some things. Remember when that guy was trying to break in through the back? If she hadn't been here, we probably wouldn't have known till he robbed us blind. If all it takes is a little moonshine and a few bags of fluids, it's worth it."

I hugged him. "Thanks Rick." After I kissed him on the cheek I said, "I'm going next door, see how everyone's doing."

"Stella wait. I have to talk with you about that. I spoke with Hershel and Tyreese. We took a look at our food stocks and what we've been going through. With the supplies we have, it's going to be tight making it to harvest, even if we catch a fair amount of game. There's no way we can feed another six people. We discussed it yesterday and agreed. I hope you don't mind that we didn't include you. Figured it would be best if both you and Daryl stayed out of it. If your husband wants to stay, that's fine, but we can't take in the others. They can stay for a few days but then they'll have to leave. We'll give them a few days of supplies for the road. I'm sorry."

I listened to what Rick had to say quietly. I knew he didn't take what he was saying lightly. "I'll let Jack know when I see him. He can tell the others when he thinks it's right."

I could see the men filling in the grave by the edge of the fence. They must have already buried Jolie. I had told Rick that I'd talk to Jack, and I would, but not right now. Now I was going to check on the women.

When I walked in to the cell block I could hear crying. It was the unmistakable sound of a mother's grief. I walked over to the cell and knocked on the edge. Janet, the woman that had come in yesterday to sit with Mary, came over to the door. "I don't mean to bother her, but I just wanted to check and see how she was doing. If anyone needed anything."

Janet shook her head. "No, I don't think so. It's very kind of you to offer though."

"It's not a problem. If you do think of something, just let someone know. Will you please let her know I'm very sorry about Jolie?" I touched Janet briefly on the arm and turned around to wait outside for Jack to be done.

We went for a walk to a clearing not far from the prison. There weren't that many walkers in the area anymore, although some wandered in here and there. I figured it was worth the risk. I wanted privacy when I told him. It was a good thing too. He didn't take the news too well.

"They can't do that!" he yelled at me. "Where are we supposed to go?"

"Jack," I said, trying to calm him down. "They can do that, it's their job. If we don't have enough food, everyone will starve. When they accept people into the prison they take on the responsibility for them. Their first priority has to be to the people that they've already taken in. I told you before that they don't alway allow people to stay."

"Great! That's just fucking great! That deputy never liked me from the start. You know they're probably doing this because they don't want us to be together don't you? They want you to be with that stupid redneck!"

"JACK!" I said sharply. I had forgotten this part of him. How when things didn't go his way he thought everyone was out to get him. How he could look down on others. "They were more inclined to let you stay because of who you are. They looked into it because of me. But they can't let everyone starve. These are good people who want to help. Did they ask you to do anything in exchange for trying to help Jolie? For giving her medicine? No. They didn't." I didn't add that we typically did charge for our medical supplies.

I decided right then I wasn't going to extend Rick's invitation for Jack to stay. I couldn't stay there and be with Jack, and if we both stayed, even if I wasn't with either Jack or Daryl, it would always be awkward. I'd never feel completely at home again.

Jack let out a sound of frustration and kicked at a fallen branch. "Jack, they're letting you stay for a few days and they're willing to give you some food as well. I heard that there's another settlement about fifty miles from here. You could go there."

His gaze settled over me. "You said you. Not we. You. Are you not planning on coming?" He moved closer to me. His gaze scrutinizing.

"I don't know Jack. If I come, I have to be sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons. I can't just go because Daryl and I broke up. These other people are my family. I've made this into my home."

"I thought you might want to go because I'm your husband. Because you love me." He stared at me intently.

"Jack, you know I love you." But was it the same love as it was? Or was it just the love someone felt for another that they had spent a lot of time with? I knew it wasn't the same as what I felt for Daryl. But wasn't all love different?

I spent the rest of the day with Jack outside of the prison. If he was leaving soon, I'd have to decide and in the prison I'd feel like everyone was watching us. We spent the day talking about family and old friends, what had happened while we were apart.

Jack was pretty impressed when I told him the story about the battle with Woodbury. "How many men? You're making that up. There's no way." His voice was filled with disbelief.

I laughed. "I swear. It was insane. There was no way we were giving up this prison. Rick was really good at organizing everyone. Considering the amount of people we had, it was a miracle that we only lost two." I thought back to that night and the weeks after. "Ben had a real hard time loosing his dad. For a while there I didn't know if we'd wake up and find him dead one morning." It hadn't been until Daryl had a firm talk with him, that Ben finally began doing better.

Jack told me what had happened after we were separated. Apparently after being run out of the camp site the others had refused to go back to look for me. They dropped Jack off a couple miles away. The walkers were too many for him to make it all the way back, although he kept trying to find a way. "It was a couple of weeks later and I was in the woods. I was pretty close to the road so when I heard a car I looked up. I saw you go by, you were crying. Somehow I knew you were leaving the area. I was so happy you were alive, but I didn't think I'd ever see you again." He hugged me, but when he tried to kiss me I pulled away. I still wasn't sure what I was doing.

Jack sighed but looped his arm around my shoulders instead. "Do you remember the fourth of July your dad lit the dock on fire trying to set off the fireworks?" My laugh rang out all through the woods. "I always meant to ask. Did the insurance company ever pay?"

Soon it was time to go back. I had to check on Gertie. I knew she was alright. I had told one of the guards where we'd be, but still I wanted to see her. "Will you come by tonight?" Jack asked.

I shook my head. "No. They've been covering for me enough lately. I need to help out a little tonight." It wasn't just my guilt that was keeping me away. I wanted to think about everything that happened today.

Gertie was out in the yard sunbathing when I got back. She was still snoring away. Beth was right next to her starting to prep diner. Axel was talking to Rick. "I looked at every car we have. I'm telling you not one of them is leaking antifreeze. I have no idea where she could have gotten into it."

"You checked all the cars?" I repeated. "That was really nice of you Axel. Thank you."

I surpressed a chuckle when Axel blushed. "Yeah, but I didn't find anything. Not even a drip."

"Well maybe she licked it off the ground where the visitors park." Every two weeks the prison filled up with people looking to trade items. "Maybe something of theirs was leaking." I suggested.

Axel didn't look convinced. "I guess it's possible but it's been almost a week."

Rick spoke up. "We'll take a look later. I told the others with little kids just to keep an eye out. Dogs aren't the only ones that tend to eat things they shouldn't." I followed his gaze. Judith was currently trying to yank a piece of grass out of the ground.

When Axel moved off I said, "Um Rick? I talked with Jack. I told him that they would have to go. That they would all have to go."

Rick stared at me for a moment then asked quietly, "Are you going with him?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know." Rick opened up his mouth to speak, but I simply laid my hand on his shoulder as I passed by to go help prep diner.

For the next two days, I spent almost every available moment with Jack. It was so familiar in so many ways. And so different in others. He was harder than I remembered, quicker to anger. But he could still make me laugh like no one else. So often during those two days I wiped tears of mirth from my eyes as Jack told me a story about this or that.

When dawn broke on the morning he was leaving, I knew what I was going to do. Tossing back the covers I got dressed quickly and headed over to where he was packing. When I approached he looked up at me. "You don't have a bag."

I shook my head. "I'm not going with you. I'm going to stay."

Abandoning his stuff he walked over to me. "Stella, this is crazy. I know you love me. Why wouldn't you come with me?"

I brushed some dirt from his shirt. "I do love you Jack. I will always love you. But I'm not that same person. I thought I had lost you forever and I moved on. I've built a life here Jack." I paused for a second. "I love him and I want to be with him. That's who I am now."

"Stella, he left you. He told you he didn't want to be with you." Jack went to keep speaking but I stopped him.

"He did. But he does that. It's not the first time and it probably won't be the last. It may not seem like it to you, but he loves me. I know he does."

Jack gave me a hard look. "Are you sure about this? That this is what you want?"

I nodded. "I'm sure." I looked at my handsome husband for a moment and gave him a sad smile. "You must have realized it too. We're different people from who we were. We don't fit together like we once did."

Jack nodded bleakly. "I know, but I was still hoping that you would come, that we would get back to that."

"I know," I said softly. After a moment I glanced over towards the rest of the group. "Come on, I'll help you pack."

I stayed with Jack till they were ready to leave and then I walked him to the gate. When he pulled me into his arms this time I didn't protest. I gave him a goodbye kiss and watched as he walked past the fences.

I stood there till I could no longer see them. I turned around and saw Lori. She was standing about twenty feet back, waiting. Crying I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her. When I was all cried out she asked, "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "It was the right decision. I'm happy here. I'm happy with Daryl. If this had never happened Jack and I probably would have been perfectly content in Boston for the rest of our lives, but that's not the way it went."

"You know, I wasn't sure until they left if you would be going with them or not." Lori said quietly.

I brushed the last of the tears away. "Honestly, until this morning I wasn't sure either. But I realized that while it would hurt to see Jack leave, it would kill me to walk away from Daryl." I took a deep breath. "So. Where is he? I'm going to get him to move his stuff back in if I have to beat him unconscious to do it."

Lori laughed. "That's my girl. He's hiding out down in the woodshop. I think he was afraid you'd go too."

I flashed Lori a smile and then headed off at a brisk pace. When I got to the woodshop I stopped at the doorway. Daryl was leaning back up against a workbench with his hands gripping the counter on either side. He looked so handsome standing there. I was about to walk in when I saw Andrea step out from behind the corner. She stopped just in front of him. She reached out and twisted her arms around his neck and as she pressed her body to his she kissed him passionately. Stunned, I waited for him to push her away but he didn't. When her hands slid down his chest and reached for his belt buckle I had seen enough. I turned and fled.

I ran through the prison and using my keys let myself out into the visitors area. I ran through the yard and ignoring Lori's shouts and ran out the gate. As I reached the tree line the tears started streaming down my face, but still I didn't stop. I ran until I just couldn't run anymore. I could see a clearing in front of me. I stumbled out of the woods and collapsed.

He could he? Without even checking to see if I really had left? And with Andrea of all people! He knew I didn't particularly like her. She refused to do anything to help out the other women. She acted like cooking and cleaning were beneath her. Like we were weak for doing it. As far as I was concerned she was the weak one. All the other women cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and they all had other jobs too. She was content to sit down and watch a field all day. I laid there, as the exhaustion of the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on for the last few days settled down around me.

Sometime later the sound of a twig snapping had me leaping to my feet as I pulled out my 9mm. I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized I was looking straight into a barrel of someone else's gun. "Tsk tsk, now that's not very friendly." The man holding the gun said. "Drop it. And the knife too. Toss them over there."

I tossed the gun aside and slowly pulled out the knife. "Go on, toss it down." He urged me. I threw it, but not at the ground. As he ducked out of the way I bolted passed him. Before I took more than three steps his hand reached out and snagged me by my hair.

Twisting my hair painfully he brought me face to face with him. "You shouldn't have done that," he growled. Pushing me away from him, he backhanded me, sending me crashing to the dirt and leaves.

I laid there for hours, my mind totally blank. It was late at night before I pushed myself up. My whole body ached. I pulled my clothes back on and as soon as I collected the things that had fallen from my pockets, I shuffled over to where he had tossed my knife. He had acted like he was doing me a great big favor by letting me keep the knife. The gun he had tucked in his own waist.

I slowly made my way back to the prison. It was so dark in the forest I could barely see. When I finally arrived back at the prison, Charlie opened up the gate for me and asked, "Where've you been? Everyone was worried."

Keeping my face averted I answered. "Sorry Charlie. I took a wrong turn. Headed in the wrong direction. I'm just really exhausted, I'm going to head in."

I was tempted to go right to the showers, but I needed to get soap and a towel. There was something I needed to do first anyway. I headed into the infirmary. I was just trying to work up the courage to jab a needle into my backside when the door opened. It was Hershel.

There was no hiding my face, not with the light of the lantern right on it. "Dear God girl! What happened to you?" Hershel swung himself into the room and shut the door.

"Shh. You'll wake everyone. I just took a little fall is all. I'll be fine."

Hershel looked at me with disbelief. "Really? You took a fall. That's why you're about to give yourself a shot of penicillin?" I looked down at the syringe in my hand. I had forgotten about it. He must have seen something in my face, because he sucked in his breath.

I spun around to face him. "I don't want anyone to know. It's no one's business. Hershel, you promise me that you won't say anything to anyone." I softened my tone. "Please Hershel. Promise me."

He looked down at me for a long moment. "Fine, I won't say anything to anyone. But you need to be looked at first. Give me that syringe before you hurt yourself with it." I felt the sting as he gave me the shot. "Grab a sheet and take off your pants. You know the drill."

While I was doing that, Hershel went to the window and yanked the cord on the generator. He turned on the lights, grabbed what he needed and sat in the chair at the end of the table. I placed my feet on the arms of the chair and scooted down. I knew he was trying to be gentle, but I had a hard time keeping from slamming my legs together.

After what seemed like an eternity Hershel said, "Alright, you can sit up." I pushed myself back and tucked the sheet around me. As Hershel began I talk I grew very still, my eyes closing in disbelief. How could this happen?

After Hershel left I headed to the showers and scrubbed myself raw in the freezing cold water. On the way to my room I stopped outside Carl's door. I didn't want to wake him, but Gertie was probably in there. I needed her tonight. As quietly as I could I opened the door. I let out a sigh of relief when she came trotting right out.

I climbed into bed and pulled her in close. There was so much going through my mind. Jack, Daryl, Andrea, what happened in the clearing. I couldn't even think the word. Every time I closed my eyes I would see his face. The sun was up before I fell asleep.

Sorry it took so long to get this out. I kept trying to do this chapter in a different way, but in the end, this was what worked best. You'll hear from Daryl next time, don't worry. Hope to see you all soon and don't forget to review!