Chapter Twenty-Seven: Let it Rain
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning and the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
"Glitter in the Air" by Pink
I jumped when the earbuds came out of my ears. Carter held a finger to his lips and I relaxed as he stretched out next to me on the bed. I set my IPod aside and turned to face him. His hair was wet as though he had just showered and his skin gleamed in the dim light coming from the window.
"How did it go with Emily?" He asked quietly. I shrugged.
"She wanted to make sure we weren't jumping into anything," I answered at the same volume.
"Everyone is worried," he commented casually. "But sometimes I think they worry too much."
"About some things," I said. "Relationships and I don't typically work out too well."
"Is that what this is?" He asked turning to face me. He was so close his eyes looked almost molten amber. I lifted one shoulder and dropped it.
"I don't know what else to call it," I said softly. "I want to spend time with you."
"And I like spending time with you," he replied. "I just don't know how you handle all of the commentary about your romantic choices."
"Not well," I admitted. "I've never handled that part of it well."
"So what do we say when they bring it up?" He asked. I lifted one hand and ran it gently through his hair. His eyes closed at the light caress.
"It's no one else's business," I whispered. "Whatever happens with us belongs only to us." His eyes opened.
"I didn't handle things very well on patrol today," he admitted. "Paul kept thinking about…the two of you together and I lost it. Sam had to pull us apart."
"He was doing it to get a reaction from you," I said. His hand caught mine and pressed it flat against his chest. "We haven't been together like that in quite awhile and even then it was extremely brief."
"I was jealous," he confessed quietly. "Even though I didn't know if I had the right to be."
"There's nothing to be jealous of," I said. His hear beat steadily under my hand.
"I'm trying obviously horribly to be honest with you," he said. "I'm jealous of any man who has ever touched you." His confession made my heart beat just a little bit faster. What was this pull I felt towards this vibrant man? Was this me just trying to cling to someone or was it more?
"I'm not sure what to say to that," I said honestly.
"Don't say anything," he murmured before his lips covered mine. He released my hand and I slid it into his damp hair, pulling his lips more firmly to mine. We threaded our legs together as we kissed; our bodies pressing tightly together. There was more to this kiss than the ones we had shared previously. There was an edge; a raw naked need that both titillated and frightened me at the same time. We kissed until my lips felt swollen and aching before we reluctantly parted.
"You can stay," I offered quietly as he started to move away. "I'd like for you to stay," I amended.
"Do I get pancakes in the morning?" He asked. I heaved a sigh.
"Fine I can do that," I said with an exaggerated eye roll. He slipped under the comforter with me and I turned to use his outstretched arm as a pillow. After a minute's hesitation I felt him curve his arm around me; pressing me firmly into his neck. He smelled like fresh cut grass and salt water. There was safety in his embrace along with comfort, warmth and companionship.
"Go to sleep," he murmured without opening his eyes. A few minutes later I was lulled to sleep both by his warmth and his deep, even breathing. I woke up suddenly several hours later to the smell of something burning. Carter and I had shifted as we slept. He was now behind me and he had wrapped himself around me like a vine. I shoved his arm off and ran for the kitchen. Leah stood triumphantly over the trashcan, a huge pan protruding from the side even as smoke continued to pour through the kitchen. I disconnected the alarm before it could go off and rubbed my eyes sleepily. Embry's eyes bugged out slightly when I turned to face him.
"What?" I asked in irritation.
"Bella you're wearing underwear and a tiny shirt," Leah pointed out.
"What's going on?" Carter asked sleepily, appearing in just a pair of tight black boxer briefs. I looked down at my lacy black panties and bright blue Forks High shirt and let out a squeak. Both Leah and Embry's eyes bugged out.
"Leah burnt breakfast again," I said. "I need to get pants and you probably should too." I found a pair of shorts in my dresser as Carter pulled on his jeans from the previous night.
"Well I guess they know I slept here," he remarked.
"When did I lose my pajama pants?" I muttered digging through the covers. I found them twisted in the comforter near where my feet had been.
"I don't remember taking my jeans off," Carter said.
"Probably got too hot under the covers," I said. "Well Leah is going to give us a ton of shit."
"Not if you make blueberry pancakes," Carter said. "I pretty much forget my own name when you make those." He pressed a brief kiss to my lips before sauntering out of my bedroom. I shoved my feet into socks and then reappeared in the kitchen.
"Blueberry pancakes?" I asked the room at large. And Carter was right, Leah didn't say a word about Carter sleeping over as she happily stuffed her face with pancakes. She and Embry left me with the dishes to "go on patrol" which was code for go have sex in the woods somewhere. I never asked and never wanted to know.
"I haven't slept that good in awhile," Carter said as we washed the dishes.
"Me either," I admitted. He turned around and leaned into the counter as I dried the remaining dishes.
"I sometimes wonder a bit about what you think of all this," he said seriously.
"I'm not sure what to think," I admitted. "I feel like I am just constantly holding my breath waiting for something bad to happen like it always does but I feel too good to let go." He took the last dish from me, put it away and then turned to face me again.
"I wish you didn't have to feel that way," he said. "I wish there was something I could say to let you know that I'm not going anywhere." I sighed.
"I'm always going to be waiting for the metaphorical storm," I said. I lifted myself onto the counter. "Too much has happened to me to not think that way."
"And when we kill Victoria?" He asked moving to step between my legs. I tried to avoid his gaze but he caught my face between his hands and waited.
"After all of this is over it might be easier," I said. "I don't know. I've been in danger for so long that I don't know if I remember how to be an actual person rather than something to protect." His whiskey colored eyes were serious.
"You've always been an actual person to me," he said softly. I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes but I shook my head to clear them.
"We'll figure this out," I said. He nodded once and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. A loud whistle rang out and Carter turned his head to the door.
"The Cullens are here," he said.