Told you guys this one would be posted soon. Anyway, this chapter is a bit short and is just a funny filler involving several of Jumba's experiments. The next chapter, well, I haven't decided what it will be just yet. I'm not sure whether or not it should be the Indiana Jones movie or season 1 episode eleven from clone wars. Oh, and another heads up, I counted the number of episodes I plan to use. We're talking 54 or possibly 56. Yes, I know that's a lot, but I find them to be the most necessary in this story. And so far, along with these episodes, I plan to use the first and third Indiana movies, Revenge of the Sith and some more bits from the Maleficent movie and The Three Musketeers.
This may change with more movies added in the future, but for the time being, these are absolute. And no, I will not post the first Narnia movie again, the chapter that will have him say he's going back will have that part at the end and after that it will skip to where he comes back to the tower with little baby Elsa to show the others. Like in Tarzan with Kala when she shows everyone baby Tarzan.
Any who, long A.N. short, as always I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, anything Disney, Marvel (for Natasha) or Star Wars. Enjoy!
Time passed as always and the war continued. Thanks to the brave actions of the previous party, the Republic was able to gain an upper hand over the Separatists in the Outer Rim. Today's (mis)adventure, however, was taking place in the Jedi temple on Coruscant. As Nairbix, Natasha, Anakin, Ashoka and Obi-Wan walked through the halls, Nairbix was having an in-depth conversation with them.
"And when the golden solid brick mixes with the creamy surrounding…it becomes a masterpiece." He said choking up with proud tears.
"Look, Nairbix." Anakin began gently, "It sounds amazing, it really does; but to me it sounds like any other type of sweet."
"Toffee is the perfect sustenance!" Nairbix retorted, "Not even the nectar and ambrosia of the gods of old mixed together can compare to it." He said dramatically.
"I'm sure it is, old friend." Obi-Wan chuckled.
"Geez, Nairbix. You act like this toffee stuff is the first thing you ever ate." Ashoka teased.
"It was." Nairbix replied shocking everyone including Natasha. "Well, technically, the first thing I ate was a berry that tasted like toffee; but it did come from a tree that was grown from a piece of toffee from my home world."
"Nairbix…you really are a strange one." Obi-Wan commented only to see his friend beam.
"Thank you." He replied with a curt nod. Just then in a flash of light, a small box appeared right in front of them. Everyone was on guard but it was Natasha who went over to inspect it. Using the Force to pick it, she read who it was addressed to.
"This is addressed to you, Nairbix. And it's from our galaxy."
"Really?" He asked as he examined it, "It's from Jumba." He informed.
"Who's Jumba?" Ashoka asked, "I feel like I heard you mention that name before."
"He's my brother. He considers himself an evil genius scientist. Quite frankly, what he considers evil is pretty much mischievous. His specialty is making-experiment pods!" Nairbix shouted as he opened the box to find multiple different colored and numbered pods.
"What exactly are these experiment pods?" Anakin asked.
"They're dehydrated pod forms of my brother's genetic experiments. He gathers multiple sources of DNA and combines them to create an entirely new creature. Last I checked, he was about to reach the six-hundreds." Nairbix informed.
"So, when you say dehydrated…" Anakin carried.
"I mean that as long as not even a single drop of anything liquid gets on one of these pods, they won't activate and unleash the experiment." Nairbix replied as Ashoka picked out a green pod and examined it.
"So, what exactly do they do?" She asked.
"Each one has its own primary function to carry out what my brother would consider evil. Each one is different in every way except for that they are all indestructible and have the intellect of a supercomputer. In my opinion, the worst one he ever created was Experiment 254." He said before shuddering at the memory of his the last time he came across the experiment.
"Is that one bad?" Ashoka asked.
"Is that one bad?" Nairbix repeated as the memory began to fill his mind. "Ah! No! No flashback!" He shouted in fear.
"Hey, Snips," Anakin started, "Doesn't the one you have say 254?"
After that was said, it was completely quite throughout the hall. Nairbix then crouched down on the floor and began to rock back and forth in a Fedele position. "Find a happy place. Find a happy place. Find a happy place." Nairbix muttered in fear.
"Relax, Nairbix. It's not like one of us is just gonna sneeze on it or anything." Anakin said as he did something no one expected. Have you ever noticed that when you talk sometimes and you press your tongue back a certain way it causes saliva to be squirted out of your mouth? Well, that's what happened to Anakin and it flew right at the experiment pod.
But just before it could activate, Natasha pulled it to her with the Force and held it between her right thumb and index finger near her head. "Looks like I saved the day once again, huh, guys?" She asked with a proud grin just before she sneezed on it.
"No!" Nairbix cried as the pod began to activate; as the pod grew into a bright yellow sphere of light, a flash blinded the group of friends before they could see the experiment. Once their eyes adjusted, they all saw 254 and only Nairbix looked at it in horror.
It was a small pink alien with big eyes and an even bigger pink head; its body was very small and its arms and legs were short. It had no teeth and it made a cute little gurgled purring sound; all in all, it was cute like a plushy toy.
"Aw!" Natasha and Ashoka cooed at the experiment.
"This is the experiment that you're so afraid of?" Obi-Wan asked his sweating and paler than usual friend who nodded rapidly. As the girls were smothering and cuddling the pink monstrosity, it noticed Nairbix and eagerly jumped down to embrace one of its creators. But Nairbix quickly threw it away only to be caught by Natasha.
"Nairbix, what's wrong with you?!" She shouted.
"You don't know what it will do!" Nairbix shouted back pointing a shaky finger at 254.
"Then enlighten us, Nairbix." Anakin demanded as he crossed his arms.
"254's primary function is…is…it's a living stink bomb!" He shrieked while the others gave him blank stares.
"…That's why you're afraid of this little guy?" Ashoka deadpanned, "He doesn't even smell." She defended.
"Oh, but he will. Jumba designed 254 to be so cute, that entire civilizations would be rendered helpless at the mere sight of him and take him in. After thirty-six hours from activation, 254 will emit an odor so foul, so terrible it will spread throughout the planet and ruin the atmosphere with his stench." Nairbix explained.
"Mickey and I helped Jumba create nearly every experiment he made since we met; so I know how terrible this little guy will smell! And you guys know how powerful my sense of smell is!" He exclaimed.
"Point taken." Natasha agreed, "But he's so cute! And you said he'll start to stink after thirty-six hours; so, why don't we keep him around before-"
"Before I chuck his little body through a corridor that leads right back to Jumba?" Nairbix asked hotly.
"More or less, yes." She sighed.
"Fine. But there is no way in any world's hell that I am letting him stay with me!" Nairbix snarled as 254 cuddled his leg and gave a cute gurgled purr.
"Let who stay with you, Nairbix?" Padme asked as she walked over to them dressed in one of her many senator robes. In response, Nairbix raised his leg with an annoyed look on his face to show the politician the experiment. "What is that?!" She squealed in fondness at the sight of 254.
"This is one of my brother's many genetic experiments, Experiment 254. Apparently, he thought it would be funny to send an entire box of his experiments to me and see what 'evil deeds' they would cause to torment me."
"Oh, you are such a cutie!" Padme cooed at 254 clearly ignoring Nairbix even as he did another pratfall. "Yes, you are. Yes, you are!" She said as she tickled the experiment.
"If only they knew." Nairbix muttered bluntly from the floor, "Who am I kidding? With as cute as 254 is, we're all going to know how bad he'll smell. It's happening all over again!"
"Well, since you're clearly against 254 staying with you, Nairbix. Why don't you let Padme keep an eye on him?" Obi-Wan suggested.
"Ugh, fine!" Nairbix groaned, "But I suggest that none of you get attached to him because in thirty-six hours, 254 will be saying bye-bye." He informed with a dark/deranged chuckle before looking around the floor. "Where's the box of experiment pods?" He asked only to see 254 balance it on his little head cutely.
"Donikachi." He said cutely in another language as he presented the box to Nairbix.
"That is so cute!" The three girls squealed as Nairbix snatched the box with an annoyed expression before giving 254 three pats on the head and storming off. Later that day, Nairbix reluctantly decided to check on Padme while she looked after 254. As he entered her apartment, he announced that he was there.
"Padme!" He called, "I came to see how you were handling 254."
"In here!" She called back from her bedroom, as he walked into the room, Nairbix came across a sight he found quite irritating. It was Padme tucking 254 in a little bed made from a nearby dresser.
"What is that?" Nairbix asked in annoyance.
"It's a beddie-weddie for the little cutie's nappy-wappy-poo!" Padme cooed as 254 snuggled in his little bed.
"I think I'm gonna be sicky-wicky-poo." Nairbix said bluntly.
"Oh, stop it." Padme waved off, "What is it about him you don't like anyway?"
"I don't know how many times I have to say this, I know how bad he'll smell in the next…" He trailed before looking at a nearby clock, "Twelve hours!"
"Whatever." She replied which made Nairbix grit his teeth in frustration. "By the way, did you find out what the remaining experiments are?"
"Oh, yeah. And believe me, you do not want any of those to be activated."
"I'll take your word for it. What did you do with them anyway?"
"Oh, Anakin and Natasha thought it would be good for Ashoka to take care of a great responsibility and convinced me to let her look after the remaining pods." Nairbix replied.
"Do you think she's up for that?" Padme asked.
"As long as she keeps them away from any liquid, it'll be fine. Besides, as soon as 254 starts to emit his odor, I'm tossing all of them, activated or not back to my brother…and then I will beat him black and green for sending them to me in the first place." Nairbix replied in an overly calm voice just before his com-link beeped.
"Go for Nairbix." He answered, though Padme couldn't make out the words, she gathered it wasn't good news when she heard her friend's outcry. "She did what?!" He shouted, "I'm on my way." He growled before looking back at his old friend, "Hey, guess what just happened back at the temple?"
"Ashoka accidently activated the other experiments?" Padme asked with a smirk.
"Bingo." Nairbix replied with a wicked angry grin before vanishing in a wisp of darkness. When he arrived back at the temple, he found his four friends being tormented by the experiments. Ashoka was dealing with a large purple bat experiment that was latched onto her face. Obi-Wan was rendered helpless by a pink spotted legless experiment that tickled him nonstop.
Natasha was having her own problems with a four headed experiment that was explaining why it was evil in song as it held her in an iron grip. "We're evil because we sing annoyingly off key!"
And Anakin, oh, poor Anakin was being wrapped up in tape by a tape producing experiment while an annoying, small and talkative experiment talked his ears off rapidly.
"Oh, and this one time I met this beautiful dame but she had the worst singing voice I ever heard. Speaking of which, I can sing pretty good, sometimes I just like to sing for hours on end, in fact, I think I'll sing right now. Lalalalaa!" It said in an annoying blur.
"Make it stop!" Anakin pleaded, "It's annoying!"
"Yep, the next time I see Jumba, I'm gonna kill him." Nairbix said bluntly to himself. He then heard a feminine little giggle from behind and saw a round little red experiment with a spout-like nose. "Ah, crap." Nairbix muttered knowing what this experiment could do.
It giggled again before blowing a blast of air from its nose that sent Nairbix flying over to Natasha. "You guys had one job! One job and you managed to activate them all!" He shouted to his friend over the off key quartet. "What'd you do, sneeze on all of them?!" He asked hotly just before a blue experiment bouncing on its tail sent a blasting noise from an air horn on its head in his ears.
"Shut up, Nairbix!" Natasha retorted, "Jar Jar came looking for Padme with drinks and tripped on his robes and got all the pods wet!"
"What?!" Nairbix asked loudly, obviously, that last experiment blew his eardrums. As they stilled laid on the floor, another orange big nosed experiment walked past them carrying a plate of ham.
"Is that the one that turns everything into ham?" Natasha asked staring at it.
"What?!" Nairbix asked again.
"Is that the one that turns everything into ham?"
"…What?!"
"Is that the one that turns everything into ham?!" Natasha shouted in his ear.
"Ah, yes, that's the one!" Nairbix replied loudly. With a wave of his magic coated hands, he was able to fix his hearing. "We'll need to round them up if we're ever gonna make it through this madness."
"Really, I would never have thought of that!" Natasha said sarcastically only to have a blank faced Nairbix flick her forehead. He then rushed over to the tape producing experiment and ripped it off of Anakin before wrapping the chatty experiment (mouth first) in tape to bind it.
"Hi, Nairbix!" It said annoyingly, "Boy, I haven't seen you in a long time, in fact I missed you so much I-" It started before Nairbix shut it up.
"That's enough out of you, 110." He said bluntly, he then went over to do the same with the tickling experiment and the bat experiment on Ashoka's face.
After he pulled it off and wrapped it up, Ashoka gasped for air and asked what it did to her. "What was that thing doing to me?"
"That experiment was designed to literally suck out as much mucus from someone as possible. I guess you had a lot inside you, Snips." He teased before taking care of the remaining experiments around them. After he wrapped them all, he looked around to see if any were left.
"Nairbix, look out!" Natasha warned, but it was too late. From behind him, a dark blue and white porcupine looking experiment whipped its tail at the Narnian and flung several spikes; one of which pierced his behind.
"You know what would be a good idea?" He asked with a dumb slur, "If we fly to a moon and take all of its cheese, we can have one hell of a fondue party." He finished before falling face first to the ground. "Hi, floor! Make me a sandwich!"
"…What just happened to him?" Anakin asked as he used the Force to wrap up the last experiment.
"I believe that that experiment's spike causes people to become stupid after it's injected in their ass." Natasha said looking at her now stupid friend.
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Ashoka cried.
"I agree, but do you think that the effects will wear off if we remove the spike?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I dunno, it might work." Natasha shrugged. With a wave of her hand, she used the Force to knock the spike off of her friend's rump; and the results…well…
"I just pooted a spikey thing!" Nairbix exclaimed still completely stupid yet happy.
"Well, that answers that." Anakin said bluntly, "Did he tell you anything about how to deal with these experiments?"
"No…but he does have a database that his brother left him. It should have information on all the experiments and on how to help him."
"Alright, where does he keep it?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Got me." She shrugged, "But I honestly doubt that the genius rolling on the floor will be much help." She said bluntly with a jerk of her thumb in his direction.
"That's for sure." The other three Jedi agreed in unison.
"Look what I got!" Nairbix announced waving a light turquoise laptop.
"I take it that's it?" Ashoka asked as Nairbix stuck it in his mouth.
"Yes." Natasha replied as she snatched it from her friend's mouth with the Force. "Ew." She groaned feeling the slobber before looking up the information on the experiment in question. "Aha, here we are. Experiment 319, primary function: stupidity inducing…lasts for…forty-eight hours!" She groaned.
"So, we're stuck with Nairbix being a dimwit for two days." Anakin pointed out just before his Padawan let out a loud gasp.
"Um, guys, if Nairbix is gonna be this stupid for forty-eight hours…do you think he'll be too stupid to where he can't open a portal to send all the experiments especially 254 back?" She asked clearly nervous. Hearing this, the other three Jedi became silent; the Padawan proved a valid point. If he was too stupid to the point where he couldn't send them back, they would have to smell the horrid stench Nairbix warned them about.
"Snap out of it, you idiot!" Natasha screamed as jumped on him and repeatedly slapped his face. But he was still in a stupid daze even as she slapped him till his face swelled.
"Let me try something." Anakin offered as he readied himself; with an outstretched hand, he attempted to restore Nairbix's intellect to what it was with the Force.
"You will stop being so stupid…you will return to your normal intellect." He ordered as Nairbix stared at him blankly as he sat on the floor. He then raised his hand and stretched his thumb and index finger as he closed one eye and pressed them together.
"Squishy." He said in an attempted cute voice.
"We might as well cut our noses off now to save ourselves." Anakin groaned bluntly.
"That would actually back fire on us because that will make our sense of smell even stronger." Natasha informed while Anakin smacked his forehead in frustration. The next eleven hours and fifty-five minutes passed painfully for heroes as they dreadfully awaited for 254 to release his pungent smell upon Coruscant.
"We are doomed!" Natasha groaned as they all lounged in Padme's apartment (mostly because she was reluctant to giving 254 back to them.) "I can feel the horrible stench of death tug on my nostril hairs."
"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock." Nairbix recited dumbly.
"Only two minutes left before the little guy will seem less cute." Ashoka said as she laid on the couch as a nearby clocked clicked.
"Make that one." Anakin corrected as he brought in 254.
"Please don't take him away." Padme pleaded as she tailed Anakin, "By the way, how's Nairbix doing?"
"Still stupid thanks to 319." Obi-Wan answered while the dark Narnian blew spit bubbles on the floor.
"Seconds to go." Natasha warned as 254 waddled cutely on the floor and cuddled Nairbix's head lovingly with a gurgled purr.
"Five." Anakin groaned.
"Four." Obi-Wan mumbled.
"Tree!" Nairbix added.
"Two." Ashoka sighed.
"One." Natasha said just before they all could see the pink stench lines emit from 254's little body. "Oh, God almighty, that's ripe!" She shouted as she pinched her nose.
"Agh, Nairbix wasn't kidding, this really is the worst smell ever." Anakin agreed as he covered his nose.
"Okay, okay. You guys can take him away, just please get him out of my apartment before the walls start to peel." Padme pleaded while Nairbix continued to giggle like an idiot.
"Heheheheh," He chuckled before the stench entered his nostrils; in a matter of seconds, his face scrunched as he sniffed the odor just before it turned to a horrified shocked expression.
"Oh, my emperor!" He wailed, "Yuck, it's even worse than I remember! I'm tearing!" He cried jumping to his feet.
"Well, what do you know? This putrid stench is what we needed to snap him out of it." Natasha realized.
"Can I please send him and the others back now?!" Nairbix pleaded.
"You don't need our permission, just do it anyway!" They all cried hotly. Without any further delays, Nairbix gladly opened a corridor and began to chuck every single experiment through it. Once he reached 254, he looked up at him with an adorable smile and reached up to try and get him to hold him.
Nairbix did and looked into the experiment's big egg shaped eyes before putting his hand on his head. At first, the others thought that this was Nairbix showing the little cutie that he actually cared for him and was about to show it an act of compassion.
However, this was quickly dismissed once they saw their friend chuck the little one's body as hard as he could through the portal of swirling darkness and dust his hands in satisfaction. He then turned to glare at his friends before he spoke to them.
"I don't care what I did earlier, but we will leave it in the past where it belongs. And if any of you try to use any of those moments against me, I will personally go to my brother's lab and pick out the worst experiments we've ever created and bind them to each of you with hot tree sap. Got it?" Nairbix asked before storming off.
"Well, this day turned out to be eventful." Natasha said bluntly as the others nodded.