Hello, loyal readers! In this chapter we go back to the Clone Wars and introduce everyone's favorite space pirate. And no, I don't mean Captain Harlock. Now, before I give the disclaimer, just to let you know, there will be another A.N. at the end. While I don't own anything Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Marvel or Lucasfilms, I hope you enjoy!
After the darkness cleared, Nairbix found himself back in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant or to be more precise, the debriefing room in the temple where Obi-Wan, Natasha, Yoda and Windu were discussing with each other.
"So, what'd I miss?" Nairbix asked casually.
"Glad you made it back so soon." Obi-Wan said to him as he stroked his beard, "Because we're dealing with a very important mission."
"Really?"
"Well, to be accurate, Anakin is." Natasha clarified, "We sent him on a mission to try and kidnap Dooku after we got a lead on his location. But we recently lost contact with him and we have no idea what happened."
"We were also just about to send Kenobi and Romanoff out to find Skywalker and if need be, assist him for this mission." Windu further explained.
"I see. Mind if I tag along?" Nairbix asked.
"Sure you're not too tired from your last mission?" Natasha asked playfully.
"Come on, what do you take me for, some sort of rookie?" Nairbix asked as he bumped her shoulder.
After the trio and Anakin's squadron along with Ashoka and Noise Maker Squad hitched a ride on a Star Cruiser, they made their way to Anakin's last known location on a Separatist battle ship. To further inspect it, Natasha, Obi-Wan and Nairbix floated through space and entered the ship from the outside.
After they snuck in and found the prisoner cells, Obi-Wan opened a door and checked to see if Anakin was inside. With his back turned, Anakin jumped down from the ceiling only to have all three of his friends point their weapons at his neck.
"Oh, it's you guys." He said to them.
"This is how you thank us for rescuing you, pounce on us from the ceiling?" Natasha asked as they all put away their weapons.
"Kind of difficult without a lightsaber." Anakin retorted before Obi-Wan handed it to him, "Thanks."
"Did you manage to locate Dooku before landing in jail?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Well, I know he's on board. Might have been able to do something about it if I'd had my weapon. It's not like I can just make one appear through magic like Nairbix can." Anakin defended.
"It was important for you to arrive without it so your capture would be convincing." Obi-Wan reminded.
"Oh, they were convinced, all right." Anakin chuckled, "But how come I'm the one getting caught all the time? It doesn't look good."
"Just think of it as a way to show one of you many skills." Nairbix teased as they walked through the hall.
"Hey."
"When you're a Jedi Master, you can make the plan." Natasha replied.
"That's just it. How can I become a master if I'm getting caught all the time?" He asked.
"At least you're a master at getting caught." Obi-Wan joked.
"Very funny." Anakin said sarcastically. As they made their way to the final door, they opened it to find Dooku meditating. "Surprise, surprise." Anakin said as they all readied their weapons.
"If it isn't Count Dooku." Nairbix spat.
"Nairbix VanSull. I thought I sensed an unpleasant disturbance in the Force." Dooku said without opening his eyes. "I see you've freed young Skywalker. Where might he be if you three weren't always around to rescue him?" He asked just as the cruiser began to attack the ship.
"Your ship is surrounded, Count." Natasha informed, "Republic troops are boarding as we speak."
"Jedi fools." Dooku insulted.
"Now that was uncalled for, I'm not even a Jedi." Nairbix joked just before Dooku fell through an escape hatch.
"I should have seen that coming." Obi-Wan growled as Anakin and Natasha peered down the hole, "What are you two doing?" He asked.
"Following him." They replied.
"Not that way." Nairbix denied, "We need to cut him off."
"You guys cut him off. We'll follow him and meet you at the hangar." Natasha said as she and Anakin jumped down in pursuit.
"Why do I even bother?" Obi-Wan asked before facing Nairbix, "Sometimes I think Qui-Gon gave more than just his knowledge and experience to Natasha."
"Trust me, there's not much of a difference between her from back then and now." Nairbix replied as they left to cut them off.
In the escape shoot, the three Force users slid down the tunnel with great speed. Seeing his pursuers, Dooku sent a blast of Force Lightning at them only to see it deflected by their lightsabers. Due to the attack's blinding light, they lost sight of Dooku who escaped in one of two exit shoots.
"Oh, great." Anakin groaned.
"You take that one, I'll take this one." Natasha said as they each jumped down a separate shoot. Once she reached the bottom, Natasha found she chose the correct shoot but saw Dooku make his escape.
She then noticed Obi-Wan and Nairbix make their way to hijack a ship and quickly followed them with a late Anakin at her heels.
"We thought you were following Dooku?" Obi-Wan asked.
"We did. We followed him here." Anakin replied as they flew the ship.
"Ahsoka, Dooku managed to escape." Nairbix informed through his com-link, "We're in pursuit, but we could use some reinforcements. Follow us in what ships you can round up."
"We'll get there as soon as we can." The Padawan replied. As they flew through space, Obi-Wan managed to shoot down Dooku's ship.
"That was easy." Anakin mentioned.
"Lucky for us, I'm an excellent shot." Obi-Wan said praising himself.
"Well, now those fighters are attacking." Natasha calmly pointed out.
"I'm on it." Obi-Wan replied as the enemy ship drew closer.
"Uh, he's getting awfully close." Nairbix said nervously just before one of the ships flew into their right engine.
"Lucky for us, I'm an excellent pilot." Anakin retorted as they started to gain speed and lose altitude.
"And unlucky for us, this sort of flying makes me sick to my stomach." Nairbix moaned as his face began to turn green.
"Oh, not again!" Anakin exclaimed in fear and disgust as they roughly landed on the planet.
"For all your expertise, this is not a very smooth landing." Natasha hissed at Anakin, "And if you had hit that second fighter, we wouldn't be in this mess." She pointed at Obi-Wan as the ship came to an abrupt halt.
"Even I've had better landings." Nairbix groaned as they all jumped out of the ship. The planet they were on was in a word, gray. The sky was gray, the rocks were gray, even the dirt was gray.
"Dooku." Anakin said as he pointed at the Sith's ship. As they walked over to inspect it, Obi-Wan noticed a small electronic attached to its side.
"A homing beacon?" He asked.
"Looks like the distinguished Count is waiting for help. He can't be that far off, then." Nairbix mused while Natasha took a closer look at the ship.
"His engine is damaged, he's not going anywhere." She informed.
"Not without a homing beacon." Anakin added as he destroyed the little device.
"There." Obi-Wan alerted as he pointed to some nearby caves. "Caves are a good start." He said as they walked over to them. As they walked inside, they could all feel multiple life sources.
"Many life forms in there." Nairbix said as he sniffed them out, "And Dooku's one of them." He said as the Jedi ignited their lightsabers to light the way.
"Let's try to get him before something else does; okay, boys?" Natasha asked somewhat playfully. As they walked through the caves, a low rumbling filled the air just before the ceiling collapsed on them.
"Run!" Obi-Wan shouted. Only Anakin didn't jump out of the way in time and was caught under the rubble.
Standing before his handiwork, Dooku used the Force to take Anakin's lightsaber. "You won't be needing this anymore, Skywalker." He said before adding it to his belt and collapsing the entrance. As he ventured out in the open, Dooku came to find that a ship of pirates began to steal his supplies and salvage his ship.
"Well, well." An odd looking pirate began as he faced the Sith Lord, "What do we have here?"
"Who are you?" Dooku asked.
"More importantly, my friend. Who are you?" The pirate asked trying to intimidate the Count.
Back inside the cave, Anakin managed to rid himself of the rubble on top of him and look around for his friends. "Master!" He called, "Natasha, Nairbix! Can you hear me?!"
"Anakin, when we tell you to run, run." Obi-Wan sighed as he and the others dusted themselves off.
"You're alive!" Anakin said happily.
"And where is your lightsaber?" Natasha asked.
"It got knocked out of my hand." He replied.
"By a rock?" Nairbix asked.
"Yeah, by a rock." Anakin snapped as he looked around for it, "It's got to be around somewhere."
"That is a feeble excuse." Obi-Wan lectured.
"You know what would be helpful?" He asked, "A little light."
"Certainly." Obi-Wan complied as he ignited his lightsaber on to see it sputter out. "Silly thing." He said tapping it, "It was working a minute ago."
"You don't suppose it was hit by a rock, do you?" Anakin asked with a smirk.
"Alright, enough with the bickering." Natasha said to them, "Nairbix, would you mind?" She asked.
"Thought you'd never ask." Nairbix replied as he summoned a ball of pale gray light and let it float around the cave. From up above, the spotted a large red four armed gundark snarling at them.
"Well, isn't she an ugly thing?" Nairbix asked as it jumped down to attack them. Thankfully, Natasha's lightsaber was still functioning perfectly so she was able to quickly eliminate the beast.
"You can thank me later. Right now we need to get these rocks out of the way." She said to them as she began to move most of them with the Force. As the three Jedi carefully removed all of the rubble, they were lucky to see Ahsoka with the troopers on the other side.
"Looks like you four managed pretty well." She teased.
"Yeah, but there's still Dooku to deal with." Nairbix reminded.
"You let him get away?" Ahsoka asked.
"No, not get away exactly." Anakin argued, "Just…" He carried earning an unimpressed look from his apprentice, "Chime in at any time." He muttered to his companions to try and save face.
"Oh, no. We're enjoying this far too much." Natasha informed with a devious grin. Back on the cruiser, the party was contacted by Windu and Yoda that Dooku had been captured by space pirates and are holding him for ransom on the nearby planet of Florrum.
"His only stipulation is that you arrive unarmed." Windu informed through the hologram.
"Unarmed?" Anakin questioned hotly.
"We know very little about these pirates." Obi-Wan argued, "We may be walking blind into what could very well be a hostile situation."
"We can't let Dooku slip through our fingers again. Report back as soon as you arrive." Windu dismissed as the transmission ended.
"Well, this should be fun." Obi-Wan said sarcastically.
"Has the key detail that I can summon my weapon and several others without so much as a twitch slipped through everyone's minds?" Nairbix asked only to see his friends smack their foreheads reveling that they had indeed forgotten. "Just goes to show how much you guys pay attention to me." Nairbix said in disappointment as he gently shook his head.
Once the party boarded a ship and came down to the planet, they entered the pirates' base and found the whole place filled with thieves, cutthroats and humorous scumbags. As they were escorted to the table in the back, the came to face Hando, the leader of the band of pirates.
"Gentlemen, milady." He said trying to sound like a proper gentlemen himself, "Can I offer you something to drink?" He asked as he took a drink himself.
"No, thank you." Obi-Wan politely declined.
"Congratulations on your capture of Count Dooku." Natasha complimented, "Very impressive."
"Yes, it was. Eh, even a Sith Lord is no match for my warriors." He said boldly as his brave warriors drank and snoozed. "He put up quite a fight: blasters, cannons, that glowy thing." He said imitating a lightsaber.
"You mean a lightsaber?" Obi-Wan asked.
"That's it." He said, "And I don't need to tell you those things can do some damage." The pirate said as a pet alien hopped over to him carrying Anakin's missing lightsaber.
"Well, that explains that." Nairbix thought.
"Carved up some of my best men pretty good before I could get the jump on him." Hando informed with his silver tongue.
"And how exactly did you get the jump on him?" Nairbix asked doing his best not to sound unimpressed seeing as what Hando was telling them was a lie.
"With this?" Anakin asked as he took back what was his. Doing this, Hando's pirates pulled out their weapons and aimed them at the party; Hando's pet then took back the lightsaber and gave it to its owner.
"We have no interest in disagreeing with you." Obi-Wan reassured, "All we want is to confirm you are holding Dooku, and we'll go."
"I will arrange a meeting." Hando replied, "But first, you must prove that you are capable of making sure this whole ordeal stays interesting." He informed.
"How so?" Anakin asked with a glare.
"Simply find a way to entertain me and my men, and I will allow you to see the Count." Hando replied with a greedy grin. As he said this, an idea popped in Natasha's head.
"Hey, Nairbix." She mumbled, "I think we ought to use plan fifty-three."
"You sure?" He asked as she nodded her head, "Okay, you still remember it?"
"Yep, you?" She asked.
"How could I ever forget something like that?" He asked dryly.
"Very well, Hando. My friend Nairbix and I will provide you with a performance that you'll never forget." Natasha informed.
"Pray that is the case, my dear." Hando growled as his men gave them some space but still kept their guns on them and the others.
"Say, Natasha?" Nairbix asked beginning the performance, "Since we arrived in this galaxy, I've been left utterly speechless. I can't find a word to describe any of this."
"Really?" She asked playing along, "Well, I've been using a rather fascinating word that works quite well."
"Do tell. What is it?" Nairbix asked right before Natasha began to sing.
"Well, it's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious." She sang before Nairbix joined in.
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay." After they sang together, Nairbix began to sing by himself.
"Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad, me master gave me nose a tweak and told me I was bad. But then one day I learned the word that saved me achin' nose…" He carried before Natasha jumped back in.
"The biggest word you ever heard and this is how it goes! Oh, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay.
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay."
"He traveled all around the worlds and everywhere he went, he'd use his word and all would say, there goes a cleaver gent." Natasha sang to the pirates as Nairbix continued his part.
"When Dukes and Maharajahs pass the time of day with me, I say me special word and then they ask me out to tea." He sang just before Natasha joined in as the pirates pounded along with the beat.
"Whoo, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay. Um diddle, diddle diddle, um diddle ay." They sang before coming to Hando's sides and began to speak to each other.
"Now, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus. But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?" Natasha asked Nairbix while Hando was smiling nonstop.
"Indubitably." Nairbix nodded as they jumped back and began to sing once more.
"So when the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay." Natasha sang.
"Hear, hear!" Nairbix cried.
"Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say. But better use it carefully or it could change your life." She warned as Nairbix came to her wearing a hat and glasses.
"For example." He said.
"Yes?" Natasha asked.
"One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife." He said only to be smacked in the face by Natasha. As he clutched his face, he continued, "Oh, and a lovely thing she is too." He said with bashful laughter.
"She's…" Natasha carried, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." They both whispered before increasing their volume, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"
And with that, the song was over, the pirates were cheering and laughing, and the two Jedi were looking at their friends like never before.
"Bravo! Haha!" Hando cheered as he clapped happily, "Congratulations, my friends. You now have my full permission to see Dooku." He said as he led them and the other Jedi to the holding cells.
As they were being escorted, Anakin and Obi-Wan finally expressed their reactions to the performance. "What the hell was that?" Anakin asked them in a hush.
"Oh, that?" Natasha asked, "That was just a little something we came up with when we were kids. Pretty creative, huh?"
"What does that word even mean?" Obi-Wan asked.
"It's a word you use when you don't know what to say." Nairbix replied as though it were obvious.
"People from their galaxy are so weird." Anakin muttered to Obi-Wan who nodded.
"Indubitably." Obi-Wan agreed before breaking into a smile at the play on words before they entered Dooku's cell and saw him being held in suspension.
"Well, look how the mighty Sith Lord has fallen." Natasha stated smugly, "Looks like the suspension field is on the other shmuck, huh, Dooku?" She asked recalling how he had her and her two friends back on Geonosis.
"I'm shocked to hear you speak to me, Master Romanoff. I half expected you and young VanSull to grant me with a performance like what you gave to our esteemed hosts." Dooku teased.
"Perhaps we will after we take you in." She replied with a fake smile.
"I'm confident the situation will rectify itself soon." Dooku informed.
"Soon you'll be brought to trial by the Senate and most likely spend a very long time in a cell just like this one." Obi-Wan replied with just as much confidence.
"And that's if you're lucky." Anakin added, but Dooku just shook his head.
"Oh, my naïve young friends." He sighed, "You must be overly optimistic if you think these Weequayans plan to let you leave this planet."
"They're planet-hopping thieves looking for a quick score." Nairbix scoffed, "They have no interest in picking a fight with the Jedi."
"They are devious and deceitful," Dooku listed off, "And, most importantly, stupid." He finished flatly.
"It's a wonder you don't get along with them, Dooku. You have so much in common." Natasha insulted as they walked out the cell.
"You underestimate them at your own peril, Romanoff." Dooku warned as the door shut. As the party went back outside, the struck up a conversation.
"I don't know about you guys, but I could use some rest." Anakin confessed.
"Remember, Anakin, this could still be a trap." Obi-Wan reminded.
"You're not worried about Dooku, are you?" Nairbix asked.
"No, I'm worried about these pirates." He replied as he saw one punch a little alien for bumping into him while another joined in for no apparent reason.
"Jedi!" A pirate called in front of them, "Now that your business is completed, we invite you to join us in the grand hall for a banquet. And a true Weequay banquet is not to be missed." He offered.
"Thank you, we accept." Natasha replied. Later that day, the party contacted Coruscant to inform the situation.
"No question they have Dooku. Send the ransom." Obi-Wan informed.
"He's being securely held?" Palpatine asked.
"Yeah." Anakin chuckled, "And very cranky about it."
"Good. Senator Kharrus and Representative Binks will be dispatched immediately." The Chancellor informed. Later on at the party, the group were witnessing what the pirates considered to be entertainment. As they were watching, Hando came over to speak with them.
"Now can I persuade you join us for a drink?" He asked like he was an old friend, "It's a tradition, in the name of friendship."
"Alright, but nothing too strong. He's flying." Obi-Wan joked as his indicated to Anakin.
"Bring our guests some…refreshments." Hando ordered as a waitress slipped something in their drinks. As she brought them over, the party eyed their drinks suspiciously. "To a successful transaction." Hando cheered. As the pirates raised their glasses, the four guests were able to quickly switch their drinks.
"To powerful pirates and new friends of the Republic." Obi-Wan added.
"Enjoy your evening, gentlemen and milady." Hando said as he left the room.
"I still don't get it." Anakin confessed.
"Get what?" Nairbix asked.
"How a bunch of drunken pirates managed to catch Dooku when we couldn't." He replied.
"Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here." Natasha suggested.
"Sigh, I still don't get it though."
"It's to remind us to be humble and never too proud to accept a gift when it comes our way." Obi-Wan responded wisely.
"Well, to unexpected gifts, then." Nairbix praised as he rose his glass.
"Hear, hear." Obi-Wan quoted as the unfortunate individuals who they switched glasses with passed out.
"Hey!" Natasha and Nairbix exclaimed as they caught on to their friend's reference regarding their song. Though they didn't know it, later on, they were once again given drugged beverages. Only this time, they drank them.
The next day, they found themselves on the floor of a not-so-cozy cell with shackles on them. "Ugh, Master?" Anakin groaned as he woke up with the others.
"Oh, my head. What happened last night?" Nairbix asked feeling similar effects to that of a hangover.
"Looks like that pirate booze was stronger than we thought." Natasha answered, "Ugh, and I thought my mom's homemade vodka had a kick."
"We were drugged, obviously." Obi-Wan provided.
"Why would they risk losing the ransom?" Anakin asked.
"Because the deal undoubtedly changed." Nairbix replied, "They've most likely found some way to triple their pay."
"A shrewd observation, Master Nairbix." Dooku said making himself known. Apparently, he had been there the whole time.
"Oh, great." Anakin said sarcastically, "It's you."
"I did warn you these pirates were devious." He reminded, "You will notice our shackles are bound together." He growled in annoyance, "I have tried to separate us, to no avail."
"Yay!" Natasha falsely cheered, "Now we're all connected by one big damn friendship bracelet!"
"It's bad enough we have to be in the same cell, but could you at least spare me the sound of your constant chatter?!" Anakin asked the Count hotly as Obi-Wan held him back.
"Clearly," Nairbix said glancing at Dooku, "He's still a bit miffed at you for cutting off his arm."
"Clearly." The Sith agreed, "And while I hold my tongue, the four of you will devise a brilliant strategy for getting off this Godforsaken planet?" He asked.
"Yes!" They all snapped.
"Excellent." Dooku said ever-so calmly.
"But first, I have an idea." Nairbix informed.
"Wonderful." Dooku replied rolling his eyes, "And how, pray tell, are you going to get us out?"
"I find that you question the bloke with the big magical key to be hilarious, Count." Nairbix replied dryly as he summoned Heartbreaker and used it to unlock the cell door.
"Hmm, my apologies, sir bloke." Dooku joked.
"…Okay, I'll admit, I walked right into that one and I'll give you points for that. But I'm still the one who opened the door and has a weapon so don't test me." He warned.
"Point taken." Dooku acknowledged as they began their escape.
"We do know where we're going, don't we?" Anakin asked as they snuck through the halls.
"Hush, Anakin." Obi-Wan scolded.
"…Do we know where we're going?" Natasha asked.
"Quiet." Dooku ordered as he knocked out a guard, "I was brought this way when I was captured. Perhaps our Keyblade wielding friend can dig into his bag of tricks and find the way out, though?" Dooku asked with a glare.
"I'm a True Master, not a miracle worker." He replied dryly.
"Then as a True Master, could you rid us of these infernal shackles?!" Dooku hissed.
"I can't unlock something if I don't know where the bloody keyhole or lock is, now can I?!" Nairbix asked hotly.
"I found the door key so you can stop arguing." Anakin informed as he pickpocketed the unconscious pirate.
"This is the way to the hangar." Dooku informed.
"Alright, but are you sure it's safe?" Natasha asked.
"The key works." Anakin whispered.
"Is it safe?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Of course it is." Dooku replied as the door opened to reveal several armed pirates.
"Or not." Natasha said bluntly as more pirates joined in from behind.
"Hold it right there, Jedi." One of them warned. Next thing they knew, they were back in their cell.
"What were we thinking?!" Anakin rhetorically asked as Hando paced around them all, "Following a Sith Lord?!"
"Oh, what to do? What to do? What to do?" He muttered, "I don't want to kill you, per se." He admitted, "In fact, you seem like decent fellows and a respectable lady…even you, Count. This is just business."
"Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better." Natasha mumbled sarcastically.
"Once I get my money, we can go back to being friends." Hando said to them as though he were glad. "Now, try not to complicate things by breaking out again." He warned as he left the cell.
"We have to get out of here before the Republic arrives with the ransom." Obi-Wan stressed.
"For once, I agree with you." Dooku admitted as they walked over to the guard at the door.
"You do not want to stand guard." Natasha said as she performed a Jedi mind trick.
"I do not want to stand guard." The pirate repeated dumbly.
"You want to deactivate the cell bars and…go out drinking." She further ordered.
"I want to deactivate the cell bars and go out drinking." He said happily just before doing so.
"Not bad." Anakin remarked while Dooku gave yet another sarcastic remark of his own as they continued.
"Oh, hurry it up, Dooku!" Obi-Wan growled as they hid from more pirates.
"You should be more patient, Obi-Wan." Nairbix teased quietly, "After all, the Count is an elderly gentleman and doesn't move like he used to."
"I suppose you're right, Nairbix." Obi-Wan agreed while Anakin and Natasha chuckled.
"I would kill all four of you right now if I did not have to drag your bodies." Dooku growled, "And you should learn to respect your elders, young VanSull."
"And I would if I was near any." He replied honestly. Hearing this, they all turned to look at him in confusion.
"Just how old are you, Nairbix?" Anakin asked.
"Ninety-six…give or take." He replied nonchalantly, "In Narnian years." He clarified as they made it outside. "Anyway, we just have to make it past that wall, now." He informed as the pirates found them.
With several long pipes next to them, Anakin used one of them to propel them all to the edge of the wall; unfortunately for him, he was the only one to grab the edge and carry their weight.
"This is not going well." He groaned as the pirates shot at them. As luck would have it, one of the blasts severed Dooku from the line but caused him to fall to his death. This was halted, however, thanks to Nairbix grabbing him.
"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Anakin asked completely unaware while the weight increased, "Too heavy. Drop Dooku!" He pleaded as Hando stood before him and sighed.
"I guess this means we won't be friends." He said grimly. Back in the cell, the quintet was once again having another discussion.
"We have to get out of here before Senator Kharrus and Jar Jar arrive." Obi-Wan stressed.
"How many times is he going to say that?" Nairbix groaned in his mind.
"I think it's time we lose the dead weight." Anakin suggested as he got up in Dooku's face. Just as he did this, the door opened to reveal three pirates.
"Hey, you four." A pirate said to everyone but Dooku, "Come with us." He commanded. As they were brought back to the main room, each of them were held in restraints for all to see.
"I'm guessing the Republic didn't arrive with the ransom?" Natasha asked Hando as he inspected them. Hearing this, all the surrounding pirates simply laughed.
"Ah, your Republic obviously doesn't want the Sith Lord." Hando replied smugly.
"They didn't show?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Oh, oh, they did." Hando replied, "They did show…with a huge army that they thought would be enough to get the better of me, Hando!"
"That can't be right." Anakin flat out said to him.
"Are you calling me a liar?" He hissed.
"Uh, isn't that what you kind of do for a living?" Nairbix asked bluntly.
"You reject my hospitality, refuse to wait in your cell, and now you're going to insult me?!" Hando asked.
"Hey, the truth hurts." Nairbix shrugged before Hando electrocuted them. But before it lasted for too long, the power suddenly cut off and the energy restraints shut down.
"What happened to the power?! I was having fun!" Hando exclaimed.
"Jar Jar?" Nairbix asked as they picked themselves off the floor.
"Jar Jar." Natasha nodded as she and the two Jedi took back their lightsabers and Nairbix summoned Heartbreaker. Not a moment later, Anakin managed to get behind Hando and kept his lightsaber close to his neck as they slowly escaped.
"What chance do you really have, Jedi?" Hando asked, "Now let me go, and I may let you live."
"I think I like the scenario where we don't let you go and we most certainly live a lot more." Nairbix said not taking his eyes off the armed pirates in front of them.
"Agreed." The three Jedi responded as several tanks came behind them.
"Looks like your forces were destroyed, Jedi." Hando smirked before one of the tank's pilots showed himself.
"Ani! Obi! Nairbi! Nattie!" Jar Jar called happily from the tank.
"Good call." Anakin praised his two friends.
"Mesa have arrived with the spicen." He informed proudly.
"Good work, pal." Nairbix nodded in praise. "Let's hope these self-profiting gentlemen here still have Dooku to trade." He said as they all saw a ship fly off with Dooku in it.
"Well, that answers that question." Anakin stated as they made their way to the nearest ship.
"So what now, Jedi?" Hando asked, "You going to arrest me, eh?"
"Nah," Natasha replied, "Anakin, release him."
"What?!"
"Captain, you have nothing we want, and since we're not prisoners anymore, you have no bargaining power." She said to the pirate.
"What?!" Jar Jar cried, "Yousa was in bombad trouble again?!" He asked before cheering, "Mesa rescued you!"
"No, Jar Jar," Anakin said gently, "We weren't in any trouble."
"Can we just leave on even terms and get out of here already?!" Nairbix asked hotly before stomping onboard the ship while the pirates tried to attack.
"Hold, hold!" Hando stopped, "Jedi, after everything, you're just going to walk away?"
"Yes!" Natasha and Nairbix yelled.
"We have no quarrel with you, and we seek no revenge." Obi-Wan informed a bit more calmly.
"Very honorable, Master Jedi. I don't know what to say." Hando replied with a proud smile.
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Anakin provided out of the blue; hearing this, the clones and Jar Jar looked at him with very confused looks.
"Yousa 'feelin okey-day, Ani?" Jar Jar asked.
"No, Jar Jar-you don't understand." He quickly defended as he became embarrassed, "Guys, tell 'em!" He pleaded to the two performers.
"Oh, Anakin," Nairbix said softly as he placed a hand on his shoulder, "I think your inner geek is showing." He said before sniffing him, "And it smells like loser." He finished as he and Natasha tried to contain their laughter.
"What?!" He shrieked, "Why you-" He ranted as they all boarded the ship and took off.
Bet no one was expecting that to be in this chapter, huh? Yeah, that was something that popped into my head several months ago and I really wanted to write it to mix things up, and yes, the dance movements were the same here as it was in Marry Poppins. And if anyone was baffled by the use of British slang I gave Nairbix, allow me to explain.
While I haven't really had him show it before, Nairbix does in fact have an English accent. Makes sense since his home world was Narnia (a British fairy tale world) and the second world he lived in was set in a fairy tale time of Europe and that everyone in both of those worlds spoke in those very same accents. To be honest, I just remembered that and have now decided to develop his future dialect to include that. And no, Natasha does not have a British accent or a Russian accent. She can speak Russian due to her parents being Russian, but she speaks with what would be considered an American accent. Like Scarlet Johanson.
Which reminds me, this Natasha is not specifically played by Scarlet. To be honest, that was the one face I have least imagined for this version. I'm not saying that image is out, but with all the cartoon, video game and anime designs for her, go with anyone of them. I don't care.
Along with that, I realize I haven't explained that little stunt he pulled in the clone wars movie with the two laser swords. Yes, they were based off of Xemnas's blades but for a good reason. As you may or may not recall, I had Riku point out that his chains attack was similar to Xemnas's vines of darkness technique in The Vengeful Key. The reason is, is that I have made it where those sort of techniques are techniques gained when you begin to become a True Master. So anything that I might type that seems based off of techniques used by Xehanort or Eraqus that the other wielders of the Keyblade couldn't do, it is because Nairbix developed those techniques as he became a True Master. Trust me, you'll see more as the Clone Wars go on.
Oh, and if anyone wants another experiment fiasco chapter, let me know and tell me what experiments you want. Thanks to the spin-off anime series of Lilo and Stich, they're are more options than from the original series.