Sheldon is distraught by Penny's words at the hospital. He is starting to realize that he may be fighting a losing battle.

Sheldon pushed Penny's chair up to the table and handed her one of the menu's. He looked at the waitress and nodded. "I will have a bacon barbecue cheeseburger, bacon, barbecue and cheese on the side. I will also have French fries, and iced tea." He looked at the others calmly. "Excuse me, I must use the facilities."

Sheldon walked to the bathrooms and made sure he was alone. He pulled out his phone and took a deep breath before dialing the number on the card he held. "Mr. Queen? This is Sheldon Cooper. I …I think I would like to take you up on that offer for 'an ear to chew', so to speak. Would it be possible for you to make time tomorrow for us to speak in depth?"

XXXXX

Mary looked at Penny, taking in the tightness around her eyes and the way her hands continually clenched. "Are you okay, dear?"

"I'm paralyzed, I'm trapped in this damnable chair, and I'm stuck with a pushy genius with a habit of running off when things get bad. So, no, I'm not okay." Penny looked up and caught the flash of pain in Mary's eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "My back hurts from the therapy earlier and I didn't mean to snap at you."

Missy laid her hand on Penny's shoulder. "We understand, hon. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now. You just gotta have faith."

Penny bit her lip to keep from snorting. Sheldon reappeared and took the empty chair between her and Bernadette. The waitress walked over with their drinks and Penny pulled her Tylenol from her purse. She popped two in her mouth and sipped her lemonade.

"Penny?" Everyone looked up at the handsome guy who stopped by the table. He was easily 6'3" and broad shouldered. He was smiling at Penny with a lot of admiration. Sheldon disliked him immediately.

"Hey, Zack," Penny said with a smile. Sheldon changed his mind. He didn't dislike the newcomer. He hated him.

Zack grinned down at her good-naturedly. "Haven't seen you around for a couple of weeks. I was beginning to get worried. How ya been?"

Penny folded her hands in her lap and shrugged. "I'm fine, Zack. Just taking some time off work for a bit. I'll be back soon."

The guy bent and pressed a light kiss to Penny's cheek. "Well don't stay gone too long. I miss your pretty face."

Penny smiled vaguely and nodded. "Sure thing, Zack. Take care." The guy nodded and walked off toward the office.

Missy looked at Penny with a sly grin. "So, he's pretty hunky. An old boyfriend, maybe?"

Penny blushed slightly. "His family owns the company that handles our deliveries. Zack's a nice guy but just a friend."

Bernadette grinned broadly. "He'd like to be more. He always sits in Penny's section when he eats here, and he always makes time to say hi to her. He's pretty smitten."

Penny's hands clenched tightly in her lap. "What would Zack want with a cripple?" she asked softly. Immediately Bernadette and Missy looked appalled. Missy reached over to grasp Penny's hand, but she jerked away. She gripped her wheels tightly. "Excuse me, I need to freshen up a bit," she bit out.

Mary stood calmly and took the handles of Penny's chair. "I could use a trip to the restroom, myself. I'll go with you."

Penny did her best to regain control of her runaway emotions. She desperately wanted some alone time. Every second of every day she was with Sheldon at least and often Stuart, Missy, Bernadette and Mary were around. She was no longer used to having so many people around and it was taking it's toll on her tightly wound nerves. They entered the restroom and Mary moved around Penny to kneel down.

"Talk to me, honey. Tell me what's wrong." Mary placed her hands on Penny's knees. Penny tried her best to ignore the heartbreak she always felt when she was reminded of how useless the nerves in her legs were now.

Penny stared at the crystal blue eyes so like Sheldon's and felt her resolve erode away. Tears sprang to her eyes and she dashed at them angrily. "I hate this!" she sobbed. "I feel so damned helpless! I'm wearing a damn diaper! Do you have any idea how humiliating that is? To have to rely on someone else, on SHELDON, to WASH me?! What am I going to do? I'm a stupid frickin' waitress, who can't walk to a table! I'm broke, my bills are all overdue, and I'm not going to be getting back to work anytime soon. Stuart isn't pestering me about the rent, but he can't afford to just let me live there for free. And even if he could, what good would it do? My electric is about to be shut off, and the water not long after. Every doctor visit just increases my bill, with no guarantee that I'll ever fucking walk again!"

Penny pushed away Mary's hands and wiped her hands across her eyes angrily. "And who do I have to rely on? The same guy who deserted me without even a goodbye! Tell you what's wrong? How about everything?! Every damned thing in my life is wrong! It always has been! I wish that bullet had done more than just graze me! Because I hate this fucking life!"

Mary gasped and clutched at the cross around her neck. She prayed fast and hard for guidance. "Penny, I don't believe the good Lord ever gives us more than we can handle. I know things look bleak at the moment. I can see the pain and fear you are feeling. But my dear, you can't give up. You can't let this beat you down! I know you don't feel like it's true, but you have a purpose in this life. You have so many people who love you, and need you. Me, Missy, that sweet little Stuart, and Shelly. He needs you, Penny. He came back for you. Because he needs you to get well, and he needs to help you do it."

Penny shook her head emphatically. "I don't want him here! I want him to just go back to wherever he came from."

Mary shook her head. "You don't mean that, honey. I know you don't. You're mad at him, with good reason. But you don't really hate him. You hate the way he makes you feel. I understand. He is more important to you than you want to admit. Deny it all you want, but you know I'm right."

Penny's tears finally stopped flowing and she shook her head with surety. "I used to care about him. At one time, he was my best friend. But he left. He didn't even say goodbye, Mary. He never responded to any message I sent. He completely turned his back on me. Whatever I used to feel for him died a slow horrible death over a year ago. Most of the time, I don't feel anything. When I do…"

Penny shook her head. She didn't want to hurt Mary, but she couldn't lie to her, either. "When I do, I hate him. Because having him here reminds me of what I don't have."

Mary stared at Penny for several seconds. It broke her heart to see the despair in the young woman's eyes. Not for a second did she believe Penny really hated Shelly. Love and hate were such strong emotions, that it was hard to tell the difference sometimes. She cupped Penny's jaw and shook her head. "Please don't give up, honey. If not for you, for us. For all your friends."

Penny closed her eyes tight against the renewed fury in her. For them. For others. Always for everyone else. That was her life. Do this for her. Do that for him. Do something else for someone else. Never for herself. Slowly she unclenched her hands. She opened her eyes, and Mary gasped softly. Somehow that small sound was comforting. Like sharing a tiny smidgeon of her pain. "Our food is probably at the table," she said blandly. "We should go eat."

Penny maneuvered her chair around awkwardly, and waited for Mary to open the door. Mary reached over and placed a hand on her should and gave a small squeeze. They made their way back to the table silently. As soon as Penny was settled into place, Sheldon smiled and reached over the table to pick up her hand. Around the table everyone else joined hands, knowing Mary would insist on a prayer. Mary watched everyone but Penny bow their heads. Penny just stared at Sheldon's hand, an expression of distrust in her eyes. Mary closed her eyes and prayed a blessing over the food. Silently she begged God to heal Penny. She didn't ask for Penny to walk again. She asked God to help her love again.