Penny and Sheldon have had a heartbreakingly honest talk. She's not sure she can risk her heart again, and he knows he can't give up.
It was the last night for everyone to gather. Tomorrow Mary and Missy had to head back to Texas. Mary had a revival to help coordinate, and Missy was out of vacation and sick days. Penny was napping while Mary fried chicken and made a peach cobbler. Missy was mashing potatoes and Stuart was setting the table. Sheldon drew Bernadette across the room.
"I have spoken to Penny about going on a trip with me," he said quietly. "She is hesitant, but I am hopeful that she will agree once the doctor's are certain the infection is gone."
"Penny should be able to walk then, right?" Bernadette asked anxiously.
Sheldon sighed heavily. "There is still no movement, or reaction to stimuli," he admitted. "The therapist said that doesn't necessarily mean she is permanently paralyzed. It could just be that she has more healing to do. But he was not hopeful."
Bernadette sniffled as tears began to form. "She'll give up," the blonde sobbed. "If she can't walk, she'll completely give up!"
Sheldon frowned severely. "The ability to walk does not define Penny. She is stronger than that. She is more than that. Will your love for her decrease because of her lessened mobility?"
Bernadette looked stunned, and dashed away her tears. "Of course not! Penny is my best friend! I love her!"
Sheldon nodded calmly. "Then do not fret. Penny does not need pity. She needs support."
After a moment, Bernadette nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry, Sheldon. It's just that I want Penny to be happy."
Sheldon sighed and looked toward the bedroom door. "As do I."
Bernadette regained her composure and looked up at him. "So, why are you telling me all this?"
He cleared his throat nervously. "Because there are a few things I am going to need to procure for her if she agrees to fly to Hyvinkaa with me. Things I have no idea how to select, or even where to begin looking." He blushed slightly and cleared his throat before glancing over his shoulder. "I need the help of a female, preferably not related to me."
Bernadette grinned widely and his blush deepened. She giggled and nodded. "Make me a list and I'll pick them up as soon as she says okay."
She started to return to the kitchen and help Mary but Sheldon stopped her. "I must ask that you keep this just between you and me. Penny is quite sensitive right now about money. I can well afford to purchase her whatever she will need, and I do not want her to feel like she owes me a debt."
Bernadette nodded quickly. "Okay. I can see how that would be awkward. Like I said, just let me know what you need, when you need it."
"Thank you," Sheldon said sincerely. "I am grateful to you for not only being Penny's friend, but mine as well." She nodded and walked away. Sheldon took a quick look around to see if he was needed. Deciding he wasn't he slipped into the bedroom to check on Penny.
XXXXX
Penny stared at her knees, silently willing them to move. Even a twitch or spasm would make her feel better. She glanced at Sheldon in the chair beside her from beneath her lashes. The last few days had been weird, to say the least. He rarely talked about anything except Finland. He told her about the museums, and theaters, and parks. He described the private lab he was working at. He talked about the work he was doing. He even showed her pictures on his laptop of some of the more beautiful sights.
She knew he was trying to tempt her, to interest her in making the trip with him. How could she go anywhere? She had a hard enough time just getting around in her little apartment. She couldn't imagine trying to fly halfway around the world.
The door opened and the doctor walked in, looking at the papers in his hand. He sat down on the stool and looked at Penny. She flinched from the resignation in his eyes. Permanent. She didn't even need to hear him say it. She could read it in his eyes.
"Ms. Queen," he began softly.
"Don't," she said tiredly. "I knew it already. I still can't feel anything and no matter how hard I try, I can't move a muscle." Sheldon's larger hand slipped into hers and she felt oddly grateful that he remained silent.
"Now, don't give up hope," Dr. Reilly said soothingly. "The infection is gone, and the swelling has almost disappeared, but there is still some healing to do. Your body received a lot of trauma. Sometimes there are other things besides the physical that have to heal. You've been battling a severe depression for a long time. The Hep C treatments have exacerbated that depression, which is why you have been taking Ativan also. It's entirely possible that your continued paralysis is a by-product of your mental state."
Penny looked down at her hand in Sheldon's. "So, I can't walk because I'm crazy?"
Dr. Reilly clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Young woman, I'll overlook that because I know you are angry, but you know better than that. You are depressed. There is a large difference between depressed and unstable."
She blushed guiltily and looked up apologetically. "So now what?"
Dr. Reilly handed her some papers. "Keep trying. I want you to resume taking your Ativan, and in two weeks we'll restart your Hep C treatments. I want the Ativan to have a good head start on getting your depression under control."
He pulled one more piece of paper from the file and handed it to her. "When you called yesterday, I told you that I was unsure about your request. In all honesty, I am still uneasy about having you travel, but my misgivings are outweighed by my certainty that this would do you a world of good emotionally. This is medical clearance to fly. Just don't over do it, okay?"
Penny nodded and took the last form gingerly. She had called the doctor while Sheldon was walking Whack. She wasn't sure she even wanted to go, but she had felt compelled to ask anyway. Dr. Reilly placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly and said goodbye after reminding them to make a new appointment for the next month.
Sheldon kept his mouth clamped shut, afraid to upset her. She had asked about traveling. He tried to remain calm, and not push, but it was very difficult for him. He watched her closely, various emotions flashing across her face rapidly. Finally Penny sighed softly.
"I have mixed emotions about going anywhere," she said softly. "Here at home, I am, for lack of a better word, safe. My parents are only 4 hours away, Bernadette is nearby, Stuart is across the hall," her eyes flickered up at him worriedly. "And you don't seem to be going anywhere soon."
She licked her lips and he heard the papers crinkle as her grip tightened nervously. "But I'm also tired of staring at the same walls every day. I don't want to go out, where I'm likely to run into people I know, and have to explain over and over what happened. I don't want to see the pity on acquaintance's faces."
After a moment of silence she looked up at Sheldon. "I haven't decided to go with you. But I am considering it. Just, don't push me anymore, okay? Let me decide for myself."
Sheldon leaned down and kissed her gently. "Okay," he promised. "This is your choice. Thank you for thinking about it."
Penny nodded and looked down at her knees again. Sheldon stood and she grabbed his shoulders so he could move her back into the wheelchair. She placed the papers in her purse as Sheldon pushed her out of the doctor's office. She wasn't looking forward to her therapy session, but after that, Sheldon had rented them a couple of movies and promised pizza for dinner. She would hold off on making a decision for a little bit longer.
XXXXX
Sheldon snuck a quick kiss to Penny's temple as he carried her up the stairs to their apartment. Her arms tightened a fraction but she gave no other sign she had noticed. Small steps he reminded himself. She had finally become used to him sleeping with her, and she no longer flinched when he helped her dress or undress. He was counting them as small victories in his campaign to win her heart.
He reached the landing for the apartments and froze. Standing in front of their door was Leonard with a bouquet of flowers. Sheldon couldn't contain the growl that seeped from his throat. Penny tensed up and he watched the color fade from her face. He briefly considered turning around and leaving but logically, he knew it was useless. Now that Leonard knew where Penny lived, he would just keep coming back.
He resumed walking down the hallway. Penny buried her face in his neck and he murmured reassurances into her ear. He stopped in front of their door and Penny reached out to unlock the door.
"Hello, Penny," Leonard said warmly. He ignored Sheldon and kept his eyes on Penny's face. "I've been worried about you, so I came to see how you were doing."
Penny opened the door and Sheldon carried her inside. He settled her on the sofa and turned to find Leonard had followed them inside. Leonard continued to ignore Sheldon, moving swiftly to sit on the armchair beside Penny. Sheldon rolled his eyes, instinctively knowing Leonard's smug look signaled he thought he had blocked Sheldon. Whack settled on the floor directly under Penny and growled in a low voice.
Sheldon hung up his coat and Penny's purse before moving to the couch. He slipped under Penny's legs and reached for her hand. "So, what can we do for you, Leonard?"