I don't own this stuff!
Thanks go to the powerhouse of Janessa Ravenwood.
Joyce Summer slumped onto the couch next to her daughter and let out a sigh. She let her head roll over on her shoulder so she could give Buffy a sad smile.
"Is it wrong for me to be envious of you?" Joyce said, half jokingly.
"What?" asked Buffy with a look of confusion. Mom and envy of Buffy were supposed to be two non-mixy things.
"At least when you're confronted by blood sucking fiends, you're allowed to put a stake in their hearts," Joyce joked.
"Been dealing with reporters?"
"Exactly," Joyce said. "It's nights like these that I wish the vineyard was a little more successful."
"Glass of wine to settle the nerves?" Buffy asked.
"I know all the books say that it's giving the wrong impression to teens, but it does calm me down from time to time," Joyce admitted.
"You haven't done that much since the divorce," Buffy pointed out. "You and dad..."
"Your father and I had a good divorce," Joyce said. She nodded in response to Buffy's surprise. "It could have been horrid, long lawyer battles and all that. Instead, I kept you and he gave me half. It was easy and quick. I think that we just wanted it to end."
"Was...was I the cause?" Buffy asked. Joyce looked at her daughter for a moment before shaking her head sadly.
"Buffy, while the...vampires at Hemery might have brought it to a sharp final end, it had been ending for some time," Joyce said. "Hank and I hadn't been happy for quite a while. I didn't want to be a trophy wife, and he wanted to focus on his career, ignoring that I wanted the same thing."
"So you never wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom?"
"I wanted to be someone who could be a good example for my baby girl," Joyce said, brushing Buffy's hair behind her ear with one hand. "I didn't think I could do that by being a Stepford Wife."
"But you were always so involved in my life," Buffy protested.
"It's nothing against you, but I was struggling to keep busy," Joyce admitted. "Aside from Passions, there wasn't much on TV that I could stand, and you can only clean a house so many times in a week before you go totally insane."
"You felt like you were going crazy?"
"Being in that house...well, it was a lot like prison," Joyce admitted. "I did everything I could to get out during the day. Your father was...he felt that it wasn't necessary for me to work. And then he complained about the miles on the car, he complained about the gas I spent driving around. And he refused to let me have another child, so I couldn't even be like the other moms on the street, with little ones running around."
"So...it wasn't me?"
"No, Buffy, you did not break up your father and I, that was between us, and him sleeping with his secretary...and your freshman English teacher...and Mrs. Walton down the street...and especially him insisting that you go to an asylum helped the divorce along quite a bit..." Joyce said, trailing off as if there were a few more she wasn't going to mention. Her tone was comforting at first, but turned bitter towards the end, but Buffy understood that the bitterness wasn't directed at her, but at her father. "Of all the things I have done, all the mistakes I have made, there's nothing I regret more than letting him do that to you."
"Well...in his defense, I kinda had to be there," Buffy admitted, ignoring the TMI. "The Asylum, I mean."
Joyce's eyes went wide.
"What?"
"The Slayer is supposed to go where she's needed, even if I'm not a traditional Slayer," Buffy said. "There was a cult of demon worshipers sacrificing patients that I had to take care of."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"...I still feel bad though," Joyce said. Buffy grinned and pulled her mother into a hug.
"Better now, Ms. Voice of the Government," Buffy said with a grin. Joyce rolled her eyes.
"Oh, please, don't remind me," Joyce grumbled. "So what else is going on?"
Buffy's grin fell instantly.
"I'm still trying to figure out what happened with the Willows," Buffy admitted sadly. "Tara...well, Tara's afraid of us. I don't know, we were starting to be good friends, but then..."
"Then she was attacked by Dark Willow," Joyce finished for her. "That can't have been easy to deal with."
"No, I mean, I know it must have been hard, but she, well, she doesn't have many friends," Buffy said. "She's kinda alone and, well, alone's sucky."
"Yes, it can be," Joyce said. "Maybe you could just show that you want to be her friend again?"
"Well, yeah, that's the idea, but um," Buffy said. "I dunno really how? She kinda just runs away whenever she sees me."
"What if Giles or Xander talked to her, they're both a little less intimidating than a girl who attacks dragons with a little pointy stick."
"I'm not intimidating! I'm intimidate-less!"
"Buffy, people watched on live television as you fought dragons, demons and vampires without armor, without guns, armed rarely with more than a pointy stick of wood," Joyce said. "The cute little girl act doesn't work."
"That might explain a little about the distinct lack of dates," Buffy grumbled.
"You've been doing better now than you have in a long time," Joyce said. "You barely even mope about Angel anymore."
"Angel...I don't know," Buffy grumbled. "It's just...we can never really be together, you know?"
"You mean because you're a champion of mortals and he's a blood sucking fiend who is just barely held in check by a curse?" Joyce asked.
"You still don't like Angel much, do you?"
"No, I have serious problems with centuries old monsters taking advantage of my baby girl," Joyce said sternly.
"Does it help that it was kinda mutual advantage-taking of?"
"No."
"Oh," Buffy said. "How do you feel about it? I mean, you've known for a year now, but we've...never really talked about it."
Joyce didn't respond at first. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and stared a head as she formulated her response.
"It was really hard at first," Joyce began. "Here you were, still the same cookies and apple juice girl that went for the cheerleader squad and then I find out you go out and hunt monsters that make the Hammer films look like comedies. Before we could really get used to the changes, we were here, struggling to survive. Then there was the dragon and the whole...the whole media circus. I guess...I guess I've managed to just get used to the new you. Of course, having an adopted dark elf for a son seems to have helped get used to the not-Earth-normal." Then she looked around. "Where is Drizzt? He's usually back by now."
"Oh, he, Xander and Larry, of all people, are having a 'Boy's Night Out' for some reason," Buffy replied with a shrug.
"Really? On a Tuesday?"
"It's not like anything's going to happen with Drizzt there."
Across Town:
Drizzt was running for his life. Slightly slower, Xander and Larry were trying to keep up.
"How could this happen! It's not supposed to happen!" Drizzt said as he rounded a corner.
pant! "Drizzt!" pant! "What-" pant! "happened?" Xander said nearly falling to his knees in exhaustion. Larry, while in better shape since he got out of the hospital, was nearly as tired.
"My sister!" Drizzt said with a look of fear as he glanced around.
"I" pant! "thought-" pant! "she stopped" pant! "trying to kill" pant!"you?" Larry said as he slumped up against the wall.
"Oh no, it's much worse than that," Drizzt said, eyes wide as he looked around for possible relatives. "She's not trying to kill me! She's trying to breed me!"
"Oh." said the other two boys in unison.
"Well, that's not too bad," Larry said.
"Wait, she's not trying to breed you with her, is she?" Xander asked in horror.
"No! Ew! She's decided that House Do'Urden is too small and we need more members so she wants me to service as many of her vassals as possible," Drizzt said. He glanced around once more to get another look at their surroundings. "I need some place to hide. She found me once. Can't let her find me again."
"Um...Drizzt?" Xander asked.
"What Xander? I don't have much time, I need to hide," the dark elf said frantically.
"Granted I'm the only heterosexual human male here, but even as much as I love Cordy, I'm harboring some pretty big envy here," the dark haired boy admitted. "Your female parental figure is encouraging you to have multiple partners who look like Hugh Hefner's wet dreams crossed with Frank Frezetta's best. Most boys around here would consider you very lucky with a side of mind numbing jealousy."
"It's not like that at all! I don't know them! I don't want to be a stud cock like some prize rothe bull," Drizzt pleaded. "I don't love any of them!"
"DRIZZT DO'URDEN!"
"Oh bloody hell, she's found me," Drizzt uttered before taking to the shadows.
"I think he picked that phrase up from Giles," Xander said.
"I think we've got other problems," Larry said as he pointed behind him.
Xander and Larry shared a glance before looking up at the powerful figure of the Do'Urden Matron. She was about 4 foot 9, dainty, and very, very scary, but that was mostly her flail. She didn't use a scourge anymore since Lloth had abandoned her to her fate, but this flail was a small handle with a strong, but slender chain with a club on the end that looked like a spiked Louisville Slugger.
"Males! Where did he go?" the newest matron of House Do'Urden demanded.
"I really don't know," Larry admitted. Xander chose to shrug and make a non-committal gesture towards the general direction of the Bronze. The Drow priestess growled and stomped off, her small entourage following along dutifully. After she was gone, Drizzt let out the breath he was holding and stepped out from behind a crate.
"Thanks guys, you're life savers," he said. And with that, he started back towards 1630 Revello Drive.
Larry and Xander looked as his figure got smaller and smaller until he turned another corner and vanished completely.
"Do you think we should tell them about the fertility clinic at Sunnydale General?" Larry asked.
"I think we'd better or this might become a recurring plot," Xander said as he struggled to stand up.
"Wouldn't want that to happen."
It was another two weeks before the bare bones of the new constitution was revealed. The results were generally accepted, and for that Joyce was pleased. The amount of bickering and infighting seemed almost worth it to have a product about 90% finished. It wasn't written in lawyer-speak yet, but people understood what it meant.
There were to be three branches just like in the US system: Executive, Judicial, and Legislative. The Executive Branch was the tied with the Legislative for most contentious. The fact of the matter was that there were too many different political models that people wanted. President, Prime Minister, Vice President and all that were bandied about, but it was finally settled. Prime Minister was abandoned since they chose not to go with the parliamentarian model and had decided to have a President as Head of State and would share the role of Head of Government with the Vice President. The President and Vice President would not be running on the same ticket. Instead, they would both be elected from the same pool. Voters would make their choice for President, and then they would make their choice for Vice President. This was intended to keep one party from complete control, and force a more equal share of the government and better represent the people. There had been a few too many close races in the US and other nations that made large groups unhappy, so this was intended to assuage those fears. It wasn't perfect, it had some glaring flaws, but it was better than most of the ideas they had come up with.
The President was responsible for the overall running of the government. She or he was advised by a Cabinet that had to be experienced in their fields. Those Cabinet members were also subject to votes of no-confidence by the Senate if they should prove to be unsatisfactory. The President was also the formal face of the government and would deal in many international and diplomatic issues. The President could also call for new elections in states of emergency, would sign or veto bills passed by the Senate, and would be the person first blamed for any problems. The President could run for three consecutive three-year terms and after waiting six years, could run again.
The Vice President was also the head of the Senate. The Vice President was responsible for bringing the Senate to order, and allowing it to close after a session. The Vice President could bring about impeachment proceedings against the president, forcing an investigation. After which, it would go to a new general vote of the populace. However, this also called for a new vote on the Vice President as well, and would therefore endanger their own position. This part was included to add incentive to not abuse the ability. The Vice President would also act as a temporary president until elections could be held, no longer than three months after the previous president was incapacitated.
The Judicial Branch had no lifetime positions. People could run for judicial positions in the three levels: District, National and Supreme, but all had to be reviewed by the Senate for qualifications. Then they would be chosen in a general election. Judges served for 5 years before they were up for renewal. They dealt with trials and constitutionality of laws. Also, when prompted by the Senate, they could be forced to revisit issues, although the Supreme Court could ignore this prompting, but had to do so formally and could not revisit issues without the prompting of the Senate.
The Senate, the legislative branch of the government, was made up of districts based on population. They would serve for 4 year terms and no more than three in a row. At that point they would have to wait out a turn before running again. They were the people who wrote the laws and passed them by vote. They were responsible for the review and nomination of Judges and cabinet secretaries to ensure ability, knowledge and talent of all people involved.
In the short description of how the new government was to work, there were a few provisions that were required of all elected members of government. There were to be no bribes of any kind. This included "gifts" from lobbyists and private interests. Also, elected members were required to abstain from any decision or vote that would concern their own private interests. Therefore, someone who had money from Oil, couldn't be involved in any votes or bills regarding the rules, regulations and rights of oil concerns. The same was true for Cabinet Secretaries and Judges of all levels. The only exception from this was the Executive Branch. Elected members had to transfer their rights in any economic concern to an independent blind trust, which would be returned after the elected officials' terms of service were up.
Gromph Baenre was not an idiot.
There were many negative things to say about the former Archmage of Menzoberranzan: he was arrogant, highly suspect, untrustworthy, a murderer, overly ambitious, abusive to his lovers, and prone to deliver the darkest arts at a whim.
But you could never call him an idiot.
Nor could you call him stupid.
He was there that day when everything changed. He had counseled against the keeping of the creature (he refused to call it a human, as no mortal surface ape could truly do what that thing had done) and he, as a good son of House Baenre, watched from the shadows and kept his own council that would only be shared with his dear, now departed, mother. Of all her offspring, he was the least disposable, and they both knew it. As such, Matron Baenre had allowed her male offspring to speak critically of females of lesser houses, so long as he always obeyed her whims. And he did, at least in public and where he suspected she had spies.
At the fall of Menzoberranzan, he was quite possibly the eldest of all living drow males in the subterranean city, and arguably the most powerful. There were a few drow who had...absolved themselves of life, taking the form of dread liches and such, but he was the highest of status.
You didn't get there by being a fool.
When the change came over the captive, Gromph had cast his most dreadful spells and almost choked as he realized that they seemed to have little effect other than to attract the creature's attention. With that in mind, there was only one spell that seemed practical at the moment: Teleport.
And with that, The eldest son of the Baenre family betrayed the entire city of Menzoberranzan. He heard his mother screech her displeasure, but chose to make a graceful exit with some hope of survival. If his mother and siblings had an ounce of common sense, they should have brought along their own items of escape. Some of the other Matrons seemed to have the right idea and were trampling each other in the attempt to flee the building. They probably did more damage to each other in that one act than they had in the last four centuries. Ah, irony.
Gromph's teleportation spell took him to his private tower. It was his own private pride, this tower. Unlike most buildings in the Drow city, this was unique in that it was not built by drow hands nor the hands of their slaves. No, this tower was built by human surface mages. Smirking slightly, he spoke the command phrase and shrunk the building down it a pocket size. The apprentices, minions and their familiars were cast out, expelled from the safety of the tower and forced to fend for themselves in the new Menzoberranzan.
His next act was his one special vice: the rescue of his daughter.
Liriel Baenre was also unique in Drow society in that she bore her father's name. Despite Menzoberranzan's extreme matriarchal nature, her natural talent at the age of five, a veritable infant in the eyes of the Drow, showed that the elf-child was much more worthy of being a Baenre than some other, lesser house, no matter how attractive her mother was. She was as gifted in the arcane arts as her father, although she lacked his experience. She was his little pride.
Although he had not raised her exclusively herself, she knew him well. Gromph was not about to let his only heir, the only drow he considered talented enough to replace him and become his equal to die at the hunger of some creature once disguised in human form.
"Daughter," he said, appearing before her. It was a command for attention. The girl's female friends (and a few of their male toys) were not pleased by this male's appearance.
"Hello, Father," she said formally, not bothering to clothe herself.
"Male! How dare you enter-"
The offending female's voice was cut off by a silent spell flicked in her general direction. The others, save for his daughter, watched in horror as the lower House Heir gurgled as she died, blood spewing from her mouth as she clawed at her throat, only to gouge her neck further.
Liriel never flinched, nor did she break eye contact.
"It is time for us to leave," Gromph said. "Take your things and return quickly."
"Are we traveling, Father?" she asked as she gathered her things.
"Yes," was his response, although he had no intention of returning. Gromph glanced about the building room. "Take anything else you desire from this House. They will not be needing it soon."
Eyes widened, the fear they held specifically held in check, but still obvious to one who was raised in the cutthroat culture of the Drow. Those who recognized him for who he was understood that the Archmage did not make idle boasts. He would lie, but he would never threaten. Gromph had to admit the reaction bemused him. He allowed himself a smirk. "You might wish to see to your own Houses."
He cackled inwardly at the mass exodus from the room.
In the three hours that followed, as Liriel took what she wished and packed her own items, Gromph could hear the destruction nearing.
"It is time, daughter," he commanded. Grabbing her by the shoulder, he cast another spell and they were gone.
Buffy Summers was bored. Not just a little, but quite a bit.
Willow was who knows where, and Buffy hadn't had any luck divining her location through any of her resources. Xander was either with Drizzt or Cordy these days, or at work, peddling back and forth between the Initiative and the military. Buffy didn't want to disrupt Giles since he was always so busy with the Initiative. It was too early for construction work, the only thing she was really qualified for at this point, and no one would let her go on border patrols since she wasn't really allowed anywhere else. Tara was ignoring her, well, actively avoiding at this point, and even so, there were only a few things they had in common when they talked and most of those were Willow. Tara had a crush, a big one, on the redhead. Buffy thought it was cute until the attack by Dark Willow. That was probably why it was so hard on Tara, she was attacked by the person she liked, or at least someone who was practically the twin of the one she liked.
Drizzt was off training and running from his sister. That was an amusing bit of culture shock. She'd been there when Xander and Larry had tried to explain a fertility clinic and sperm bank to her sorta-brother and his sister. Drizzt had been completely horrified, but his sister had been scandalized and completely horrified.
"You do what?" Drizzt asked.
"You, uh," Xander said making a vaguely obscene gesture with his hands.
"I don't understand," Drizzt said. "Why would you do that?"
"This is disgusting!" Vierna snarled. "That is a waste! Anyone who does such a thing should be destroyed."
"Uh, what?" asked the present humans. Drizzt took pity on them and explained.
"I believe what my sister is complaining about is that it undermines the role of males in her belief system," the young dark elf explained.
"How?" Cordelia asked.
"Males exist for the pleasure of the females," Vierna replied. "They are there for our pleasure, to do our bidding and to die for us if it is our wish. This is disgusting. Males have a responsibility to give children, preferably daughters. This place makes the act of procreation an impersonal act. It allows anyone to be with child without the true act of impregnation."
"Uh, that's the point," Xander said. "This hospital helps with that. They focus on helping people get pregnant."
Vierna looked down on the stupid human male like he was dirt beneath her feet. She could tell her true disgust was missed by the creature.
"You have an entire order of healers dedicated towards pregnancy?" Drizzt asked, changing the subject. He wasn't too willing to explain the full situation to his friends. He was already aware of how humans could be uncomfortable when talking about sexual activities and sex/gender roles. "Why?"
Xander glanced up at Buffy for help, but she shook her head, struggling to keep from bursting into laughter. "It's uh..."
"Oh, please!" Cordy said with a roll of her eyes. "Some women can't get knocked up, or they don't like the men around them, so they might go to a sperm bank, where guys go to freeze their squigglies so that women can use them later. They don't have sex, but they can get pregnant. There's some women who can't really get pregnant easily the normal way, so the clinic helps with medicines to improve that. It works. They've got drugs that help women have five or six babies when they normally couldn't have any. It's all about getting knocked up."
Vierna gritted her teeth. As with most people, Cordy grated on her nerves, but the Drow woman swallowed her pride. She knew her fate was tied to Sunnydale and her House would deal with these humans on a regular basis. She didn't, however, like it.
"So what's the problem?" Cordy asked. "Why's it give you the squicks?"
"Squicks?"
"Why's it creep you out?" Cordy explained. That was an idiomatic expression that the Drow had heard often enough to decipher.
"In our People," Vierna began, giving her little brother, a boy that she had practically raised as his mother, a particularly dark look. "In our People, in our Society, the act of creating life is a duty for all males. They exist for our pleasure, the act of creating life is part of giving us pleasure. To refuse is considered an insult deserving of death." She glanced up at their angry faces and held up her hands, one of the many gestures she had picked up in her last few weeks on the surface. "I try to understand that is not acceptable here. But Drizzt has refused before. It doesn't matter what the male wants. Children belong to the maidens who bear them, not the male, and the male should do as his Matron bids."
"But I don't want to be used that way," Drizzt bemoaned.
"It is your duty!" Vierna snarled. "I have adopted fifteen young elf maidens of prime fertility and you refuse to help your House!"
"I don't want to be part of the House! That's the reason I left!" Drizzt explained.
"Wait," Xander said, physically waving his hand between them in a cutting motion. "We're getting off topic. The point of this was, Drizzt could do his duty while still getting what he wants out of life and you get what you want, Vierna."
Vierna gritted her teeth behind her closed lips. She hated the informality these humans had.
"Yeah, Xander's right," Cordy said, flipping a bit of hair over her shoulder. "Your girls get knocked up, and you get your babies. If things work the same with elf parts as they do human parts, you might get a bunch more than you expected. And this could get easier with more preggers than just Drizzt here could manage alone. And get some genetics training. You're all behind in bio, and that's hurting you guys a lot."
"What are genetics?" Vierna asked.
The three Scoobies leaned back on the couch and sighed.
"This is why we need Willow," Cordy said. "She knows all this stuff already."
"Cordy, not the real reason we need Willow," Xander said with a bit of a grumble to his voice.
"Yeah, we need her because she's our friend," Buffy corrected.
"Right, that too," Cordy said dismissively. She turned back to Vierna, giving the noblewoman a serious look. "Okay, tomorrow, you, me and Drizzt; the fertility clinic and then we Bronze it."
"Cordy," Xander said lovingly.
"What?" she asked.
"You will never change."
"Why should I?" she demanded.