A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I wanted to do a Spencer POV chapter, so that you could see her side too. I don't wish to spoil anything with the story, but someone reviewed and said that they didn't wish to read this if it didn't have a Spashley ending. I would just like to say that I start all my stories with the intent of a Spashley ending. This story is about how love has breaks and people have to leave to find each other. After all, that is what happened in SoN. So I hope not to disappoint. Enjoy and review :) More to come soon.

Spencer POV

She doesn't understand me at all anymore. She just doesn't get that this is hurting me too. I don't enjoy pushing her away, but I just don't have a choice anymore. Being with her made me forget who I was. What kind of music I liked and how I liked to dress. We only listened to her music. I wore what she wanted me to wear. I started living purely for her and not for myself. I left her because I was afraid I'd forget completely. That I'd continue settling on something less than myself. We both needed it. And who knows, maybe one day, we'll make it back to each other. But for now, I have to take care of myself.

I sat back and watched her fall apart. I watched her slowly fall into her own shell. Absorbing herself in a cacoon filled with dark music and books with no substance. I tried to help. We took trips, we spent money we didn't have and I gave everything I had to her. But it was never enough. She sucked me dry. I felt myself fall out of love with her and I continued to tell her that I was falling apart too. She stopped caring. She stopped trying. She says that I gave up on our love, but in reality, she did first.

What are you doing today? -A

I'm studying at the library all day and work tonight -S

Oh..ok - A

Why, what's up? - S

Nothing. Nvm. Just wanted to see if you wanted to go with me to the dark park - A

Yeah sorry. I would, but I really have a lot of school work to do - S

But hey, maybe later in the week we can do something? - S

Yeah. Sure - A

I always felt bad turning her down. It seemed to happen a lot lately. I know it was my idea to remain friends, but I definitely was not doing a sufficient job. Not having her income to help me really drained me. I felt like instead of weight being lifted when we broke up, that it came down harder on me. I knew she was struggling too, but it wasn't easy for me either. I think her hatred for me blocked her sympathy, but she never seemed to care about how I was doing. That not having her in my was tearing me apart too. Not having her to comfort me through all the stress wasn't easy.

I was so used to crying on her shoulders that I just didn't cry at all. It seemed easier. To just shut off all my emotions. It tore me apart to hear and see her cry. Although I was no longer in love with her, I still cared deeply for her. And her safety. Ashley was a reckless person, and everyone knew it. She sped when she was angry, was known for punching walls in anger, and now depended on alcohol and cigarettes as her only comforts.

Days ran together and all became a blur. One after another. Time flew by me and I hardly noticed. I seek comfort in the only thing I have, my new girlfriend. She gave me hope in a better tomorrow. She listened to me how Ashley once had. She supported my hopes and dreams, just as Ashley once had. We spoke for hours and she made me smile over silly things. We'd text all throughout the night simply because I couldn't sleep. She lived two hours away, so I tried to escape as much as I could just so that I could know what it felt like to be wanted once more. I know it hurt Ashley for me to be with someone else so soon, but it was never planned. We started out as friends. I never expected it to become anything. No one ever does. I never planned it with Ashley. We fell in love so young. Everyone said we were forever. I'm not so sure about that anymore.

She believes in fate and destiny, that we'll find each other again. When we're older and we've had time to grow. I'm not saying that I'm not opening my heart to the idea, I just don't want to sit around thinking what could've been and what could be. It tortures me to think that way. I'm not like her in that sense. I have to let myself move on and let go in order to grow and become a better person. I just wish she'd do the same. I wish she'd let me go. It's the only way for her to be happy again. That's all I want. It's all I've ever wanted. I know I made her happy, but I can't make her happy at the expense of my own happiness. I know she'll understand someday.