Chapter 24: The Loss of a Love

Bishop Thomas sat slumped on his leather sofa nursing a glass of scotch. He sat and drank quietly in deep contemplation thinking on the situation that had unfolded between him and the former demon. Any other person would have deemed his methods too harsh; blackmail would have been one way of describing the arrangement the two found themselves in.

It was no matter; Avery was nothing more than a broken body containing a demon. She was a demon trapped in a human body nothing more – she was still an abomination. She was a tool which could be used by the church nothing more.

He chuckled to himself as he looked over some papers which sat on his desk, images of well planned rituals which had been carried out over the past few months by covens of demons, all of which bore the same marking. They were starting to become a problem, Alexander Anderson and a handful of Iscariot soldiers had been sent to deal with the most recent attack – they needed more information. They needed to catch one alive and bring them back for questioning.

A loud knock on the suite door pulled the Bishop from his thoughts, with sigh he placed his glass on the table and walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"Welcome back Father Anderson. I trust your trip went well." Bishop Thomas smiled to his protégé who stood on the other side of the door, motioning for him to come in the blond walked into the room and sat down in the arm chair across from his mentor.

"Aye, those cockroaches got their comeuppance. Nasty bastards they were not just vampires this time, they had other ungodly creatures with them… " The Scottish priest grumbled as he thought back on the events, the teams were used to dealing with vampires and other creatures in sheer mass but they had never seen a group of monsters which should have been enemies teaming up to attack humanity. It worried him deeply.

"Yes, we have heard a few reports of a variety of creatures teaming up in these covens…it's a concern I must say." The Bishop sighed as he picked up his glass and took a sip.

"We will wipe them from the face of the earth." Anderson growled as she clenched his fists and let out a long sigh. The Bishop looked over his student and frowned slightly; he was not on the ball this morning, his mind was elsewhere. He could tell his brain was clouded something was worrying the priest and it was causing him great pain. Maybe he needed to go to confession once more or maybe he needed something else- something a bit more thorough.

"Anderson have you heard the news?" Bishop Thomas spoke up breaking the long silence between the two. Anderson looked up confused shaking his head.

"That's why I am here. There was supposed to be a meeting. What has happened?" He asked.

"The Hellsing organization, they are dead." The Bishop spoke coldly watching his student for any immediate reactions. Anderson's breathing caught in his throat and his eyes turned darker and he glared at his mentor.

"What?!" he growled as she leaned forward.

"Yes, their death confirmation was sent last week. It has been sent to all the major organizations. Only the vampire Alucard survived." The Bishop said as he handed the letter to Anderson who looked it over.

"Of course he did…" Anderson breathed out sarcastically. The battle between himself and his nemesis was not at an end – this was good. Anderson would be the one to kill him; no one else could have him, just Anderson. He would destroy him. It was his mission.

"You are displeased by the news Father? The Bishop asked cocking and eyebrow at the man opposite him. "We were to be the ones to kill them! Not some fucking Nazi scum!" He growled as she folded the paper and shoved it in his coat.

"It is unfortunate I admit but there will be another group that comes from their fall, there always is." The Bishop sighed as he poured himself another glass of Scotch.

"What about the Fury? Has she been told yet?" Anderson sighed as he thought about the demon, she was moody at the best of times. She had been holding out that they were alive, this news would break her heart.

"No, we have found it best to keep her out of the loop for now. She still has strong ties to that organization, telling her about their deaths may make her unstable." The Bishop replied as he took another sip of scotch. He could have told Avery about their deaths the other day in the library but for his own safety he thought it best to send Anderson in. He could regenerate if there was any backlash.

"We have to tell her Sir. There is no two ways about it. She needs to know." Anderson sighed.

"I know that is why I am entrusting you to tell her about this." The Bishop nodded as he stood from his seat. Anderson stood in turn and walked to the door with him.

"Sir, do you think that is wise? She does not like my company in the best of times. What if she lashes out?" Anderson asked as he approached the door.

"Then you deal with her appropriately." The Bishop stated coldly opening the door for his student.

"Yes, Sir…."

3POV

It had been a few days since the incident in the library; Avery was still a little on edge. She did not know what to do; she had taken the bag from the Bishop and agreed to practise but she had locked the bag away in her bedside drawer for the time being. She had to look after the children; they were her priority not some jumped up psychopathic Bishop.

Avery continued to walk around deep in thought as she cleaned away children's toys form the main hall, it was late afternoon and most of the children were in classes. Friday was normally a good day; the children would behave as they knew they had two days off to play.

Avery bent down to pick up a little girl plastic baby dolly, taking a deep breath in she pushed the images of the Asylum from her mind. Working around the children had brought back a few too many memories from that time. The baby dolls reminded her of her own time, being chained up and having her baby swapped for a dolly. It never left her; she had to push back the pain and the strange thoughts that kept creeping into her mind. She mentally slapped herself out of her little flashback; it had been nearly four centuries she should be over it by now. As a demon she could vent her anger at her victims, she used to enjoy a good old fashioned torture. Now, now it was harder to do – being human had its drawbacks there were not many opportunities to torture people. That was generally frowned upon by good standing people of the church.

Avery sighed as she stood up and placed the baby dolly back in the toy box. Sitting down on one of the bean bags she stretched herself out, the redhead cast her eyes down at her jeans they had paint all over them and a few spots on her top. Avery chuckled as she licked her thumb and tried to get the stains out of her white blouse.

Anderson walked up the corridor towards the main play room, sighing he clutched the paperwork in his hands. He was nervous, he did not know how the redhead would react to the news, it couldn't be good and he really was not in the mood to fight her. As he approached the main room he caught site of the redhead laying on the beanbags trying to clean her top, she was covered in paint. The kids must have decided to hand paint this morning.

Anderson chuckled to himself as he watched the woman fail at getting any stains out of the white blouse. She had paint on her face as well; lines of blue and red covered her nose and cheek. Avery did not look anything like an intimidating demon or harlot when she was on her own or with the children, Anderson watched her smile at the children who had been let out of their classes.

The young'uns had grown quite fond of their new nanny; it confused him how she would be loving and caring to the children but as soon as an older person like him or any other associate came near her, she would switch it automatic, her look would change. She would go from the sweet motherly nanny into a vicious and sarcastic harlot. The priest uttered one last sigh as he made his way into the playroom and walked over to Avery.

"Father Anderson!" The children shouted happily as they ran up to hug the man's leg; they had missed him when he was away. It had been almost a month since they had seen him – that was a long time for children.

Avery looked up from her beanbag, her expression changing from happy and calm to mildly annoyance. She did not like the priest much; it was obvious to the adults – not so much to the children which was good for both of them. She had not seen him since their close encounter in her bedroom and she was curious to see why now he decided to show his face.

"Hello children." Anderson chuckled warmly as he patted the heads of the children, making his way through the small oceans of children he walked over to the beanbag and looked down at the redhead. She sighed and plastered a obvious fake smile and looked up at the priest.

"Father Anderson? We thought you had disappeared." Avery chuckled sarcastically as she pulled herself up from the bean bag.

"No, I have been away." Anderson replied as he helped the redhead off of the beanbag much to her annoyance as she quickly smacked his hand away from her once she was on her feet.

"Avery, I need a word." He muttered I her ear as he motioned to the door. "Can we talk somewhere privately, away from the children?" Anderson continued as the redhead stared at him with untrusting eyes.

"What is it?" Avery asked coldly without moving. The children looked up at the two confused, Avery noticed this and smiled down at the children and sent them to play together.

"Please just come with me." Anderson spoke once more as he led them out of the main room back to Avery's bedroom.

"Why are we going to my bedroom?" Avery asked dryly as she approached the door. Confused as to why in all the Hell Anderson thought taking her to her room was a good idea. Had he not learned from before?

"Well for what is about to happen you would be more comfortable in there." Anderson spoke as Avery opened the bedroom door.

"Wow Anderson you really are bad at reading women." Avery chuckled looking up at the Priest whose eyes widened slightly as a small blush crept over his cheeks.

"No I'm not trying to…damn it woman just get inside please." Anderson snapped as he held the door open and walked in after her.

Anderson POV

Avery was making jokes again, that was all she seemed to do with me poke fun and me and torment the living hell out of me at every opportunity. I would let her off this time, she would need to vent after she finds out about her loved ones.

Avery sat on her bed with her legs and arms crossed looking up at me, her eyes were cold and full of anger. It may have made me slightly more nervous if she had not been covered in paint. Instead of looking like a menacing demon she looked more like a moody child, sat crossed legged on her bed with a pout which would rival the most broody of teenagers.

"So what is this about?" She asked coldly as she leaned back on to wall behind her bed.

"We got some new last week about Hellsing. Here, you need to read this for yourself." I sighed as I handed her the crumpled piece envelope as I leaned against her bedside table.

"What is this?!" Avery snapped back at me as she looked over the envelope before pulling out the letter inside. Silence fell as Avery read the letter, detailing the deaths and information of her friends, lover and mistress. I expected her to cry, or something to happen – her face did not move she barely even breathed. I looked over at her slightly worried now, any reaction would have been better than no reaction at all.

"This is a fake. Your people wrote this. It's not real." She spoke calmly as she placed the letter on the bed next to her. Her expression was like stone, she did not falter she just stared blankly at the wardrobe behind me.

"Why would we lie about this?" I asked as I watched her remain still as she answered my questions. Eyes locked onto something I could not see.

"I don't know because I am still loyal to Hellsing and your people need me here because I am a threat." Avery commented dryly as she remained in her position on the bed.

"They were found in the fire. The demons had been stabbed by blessed weapons, heads cut off and bodies ripped apart. Integra was shot in the head. What remained of their bodies was found by police a few days later. Alucard was the only one they did not find." I spoke out, trying to get a reaction from her, no reaction was never a good reaction she was internalizing her feelings – her friends, her lover… they had all died anyone else would be a mess.

"Did you all place a bet in the office? See if the demon cries?" Avery asked coldly as she turned her icy blue orbs to meet my own. I was shocked at her reaction; was she was making a joke of this to? "What? No!" I spat in shock as the redhead brought her knees up to her chest and sighed. "Let me know what you bet and I will do the opposite." She chuckled darkly looking away from.

"Why must you insist on doing that? You have a comeback for everything even this. Your friends are dead and you don't seem to care." I said as I pushed myself off of the table crossing my arms. Avery began to laugh coldly which scared me slightly. Had she lost her mind?

"Fuck you Anderson. I am not one for public displays of emotion." She snapped up at me darkly. I was beginning to get pissed off, Hellsing didn't matter to me, they were dead. Alucard was the only one I needed to kill and he was still out there somewhere. Avery should be crying, she should be in pieces, I had just shown her proof of the death of her lover and her friends. She should be in pieces, any normal person would be.

"What is fucking wrong with you!? Do you not have a heart?" I shouted at the woman who snapped her head to look up at me as she pushed herself off of the bed.

"Just get out Anderson." She growled as she dug her nails into her bed frame.

"No." I crossed my arms and moved closer to the woman. Slightly concerned she was planning on hurting herself or worse. She wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of suicide; she had tried it before in front of me.

"Get the fuck out of my room!" Avery screamed as she lunged at me and pushed me back into the wall. Standing up and brushing myself off I made my way back over to her but she ran into her bathroom and locked the door after her. Damn it all!

"Avery open this door!"I barked as I rattled the doorknob trying to get in the room. She had locked the door behind her, I started to panic slightly as I heard the sound of drawers being pulled out from under the sink, I could hear her looking for something.

"Fuck off Anderson!" She growled at me through the door. "Just fuck off and leave me alone for once!" She hissed as I heard more banging.

"Let me in! Don't be a fool!" I barked as I pushed on the door trying to open it without breaking the door down.

I swallowed hard as I heard the glass mirror shatter and glass hit the floor. "You open that door and I will slice my fucking throat I swear to God!" Avery screamed from the other side of the door.

"Again with the fucking mirrors Avery?" I growl as I stepped back from the door and ready myself to kick the door. "I will break this fucking door down if you do not open it right now!" I shouted with no reply. That was it, the door was coming down.

With a quick movement I slammed my boot against the wooden door; Avery jumped back from the door and landed against the shower glass. She held a shard of glass in her hand which had already began to bleed down her arm. Her eyes locked onto mine as she tried to swipe at her throat, I managed to grab hold of her before the glass touched her throat. "Avery! Stop it damn it!"

I pulled her into me as she dropped the glass next to us, shattering it against the cold bathroom tiles. I felt a strange feeling take over my body as the former demon sobbed against my chest. I felt her take a deep breath in and flinched slightly as she started pounding her fists into my chest, her one bleeding hand flicked blood across the tiles and down my shirt.

"I hate you! I fucking hate you! Why didn't you just let me die! They are all dead now I should be dead too!" She screamed into my chest as she lashed out into me. I held her tightly against my chest, she could lash out at me all she wanted I could heal myself, I would not have her hurting herself. I just knelt there holding her against me letting her scream and cry all she could.

"You hate me because I saved you?" I asked as I held her against me. She tried to push back against me to get away from my grasp but I was stronger than her for once. I kept her in place

"I should have died. I wanted to die! Then you decide to come in on your big white catholic horse and carry me back here and expect me to go along with what you say. You have even collard me like a fucking pet!" She hissed as she tried to push away as she sobbed, I had to admit the catholic horse comment made me smile on the inside. She did have a way with words this woman. "Tell me Anderson, how would you feel if you had been turned into a vampire that night and taken to Hellsing to work for us without your consent? How would you be acting?" She growled as she looked up at me, here blue eyes red from the burning tears.

She had a point, I had never thought of the situation like that. What would I have done if the shoe had been on the other foot? Would I want death? If I became a vampire, a monster, an abomination I would cry for death as she is.

"Aye…I never thought of it like that..." I sighed as I released her from my grip, taking a moment to miss the pressure of her body against mine. She crawled back at much as she could to get away from me and brought her good hand up to wipe the tears from her face.

"Look! I don't know what I am supposed to be doing! I haven't been a human in centuries, everything is different and I don't understand why no one will explain anything to me!" Avery exclaimed as she tried to find a tissue or something to stop the bleeding on her palm. I shuffled back and grabbed a flannel from the sink and passed it to her.

"It took me a century to get used to being a demon and now I will have to do that all over again but this time I am stuck in the very headquarters of the people who have been trying to kill me all of my life and shock fucking horror I thought I was safe here, but surprise surprise you all want something from me!" She tried to hold back a sob as she tried to wrap her hand up but failing miserably.

"Oh fuck this bastard flannel!" She shouted as she threw it past my head. I quickly moved to catch it and sighed as I moved over to her and took hold of her wrist as she huffed in protest.

"Just…stop moving and let me help you." I spoke as gently as I could. The redhead sighed in defeat and opened her palm for me to see. She had managed to slice herself across the palm nicely, not as deep as it could have been but it will still sting for a while.

"What do you mean?" I asked in regards to her previous statement. She snorted as looked away from me. "Talk to your fucking Bishop!" She hissed as I pressed down on her wound as I cleaned it.

"Bishop Thomas? I just came from a meeting with him." I said calmly as I continued to clean the wound. "Of course you fucking did." She growled back at me.

"You are not taking the news very well…" I commented down to the redhead - that was a mistake…She slapped me across the face with her free hand, my glasses flew across the room and landed on the floor. "Well that may have been called for…" I mutter as I try and collect my glasses.

"I-I'm sorry…" I sigh as I placed my glasses back on and offered my hand to help her up.

"No you're not. Your kind never are, you all claim holiness and that you are all great people but you are worse than us demons! At least we know we are evil, the rest of you, you just lie to yourselves!" She said sadly as she pulled herself up and pushed past me out of the room.

"Stop that now! Don't talk silly girl!" I said annoyed at her last comment. As I followed her back into her room she sat back down on the bed and placed her head between hands.

"They were happy and alive a few weeks ago and now they are dead and gone and no one will explain to me what I am supposed to do now! Tell me Anderson what am I supposed to do now?" Avery sobbed into her hands, it caught me off guard another moment of weakness.

"You can stay here with us…you are welcome t- "

"Great so I am the Vatican's new fucking pet! Do I get to be put on a lead too? Have you brought that along with you!?" Avery screamed at me as she pulled at her collar.

It hit me; I had been completely insensitive to her situation. It wasn't like the cases I was used to dealing with where a human had been turned into a monster- it was the opposite. This woman had been a demon for over three hundred years and then all of a sudden she has got her soul back and she has no idea what she is supposed to be doing. She was a lost child.

All her family and friends were dead. I had brought her back and collared her and dragged her around for the past month without even once stopping to think about how she was feeling. She didn't even have any of her belongings all she owned was the clothes that the church could give up. If that was me I would have played up as well…I was ashamed of myself, this was no way to keep a person – even if she was once a demon, she was human now and deserved a little more than I was giving her.

Avery stood up from her bed and tried to move past me but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into me, I took a hold of her throat causing her to gasp slightly. I think she thought I was going to kill her. Reaching into my jacket I pulled out a small silver key on a chain and unlocked her collar.

"There, you are no longer a pet. You can stay if you would like we will welcome you here but if you want to leave then that is your choice. You can take the clothes and things we have given you and leave if you want." I spoke softly as I took the collar off of her neck. Avery stepped back and stared up at me, she was confused I could see it.

"I don't understand…" Avery breathed out in shock as she felt her neck. I don't know why I did it but I couldn't let her walk around like a animal, not after this. The Bishop would have my head but I could explain myself later. She was trying to be human; she needed to be treated like one.

"I'm sorry…It's just not something I am used to seeing – I take pleasure in killing monsters and you confuse my instincts; you said it yourself you were a demon for so long and now you are a human with a soul – I don't know what to think of you. You're an enigma." I said as I looked down at her, I still had hold of her arm I released her arm and stepped back and quietly left the room. I began fighting my demons in my mind – I needed to pray again. I leaned against the wall of Avery's room and closed my eyes. What was happening? I took a deep breath as I heard the piercing screams coming from the other side of the door.

I wanted to stay and hold her, to comfort her but she had to deal with this on her own.

Avery POV

As Anderson shut the door behind him I felt my legs give way as I fell to the floor and screamed, I screamed and screamed until my voice went horse. I would have scared the children I am sure but I didn't care. He was gone! The only man to ever show me love was gone and he would never come back. Hellsing had been my family for nearly forty years; they were gone. I couldn't take it.

They were dead! They were fucking dead! Walter was dead, he was gone!

Integra was gone, the little girl I raised from birth – she was dead. I couldn't take it, I felt sick. Running over to the bathroom I flung my head over the toilet and brought up the contents of my stomach, I kept being sick until I couldn't bring up anymore.

My eyes burned from the tears and my throat felt like I had swallowed a razor. Was this what heartbreak felt like? No wonder I used to get so much work! I dragged myself to my feet and walked to the sink I hoped that the cold water would snap me back into a reality where this was all a big dream, that I was still asleep in Hellsing Manor and Walter would be next to me sleeping.

I would trade anything for that…

Bringing my eyes up I caught my reflection in what remained of the mirror. Something inside me switched as I pushed myself off of the cold porcelain sink and made my way over to the bedside table. I ripped open the draw and pulled out the black leather bag which I had hidden there.

Unloading the contents of the bag onto my bed I stepped back to examine exactly what I had been given.

Candles of various colours, two athames – ritual knives which can be blessed or cursed, a small bag of herbs, salt, crystals and the grimoire. The collection was basic at best, if this Bishop wanted my help he would need to give me a bit more than this. Turning to the drawer I opened the Bible that rested in the back of the drawer and pulled out a large brown envelope and dropped it onto the bed. Slumping down beside the mess I opened the envelope and pulled out a large pack of bank notes.

Bishop Thomas was happy for me to accept his offer under the condition that Anderson did not find out about it. I would practice in secret until the Bishop told me it was time to tell them of my deceit. In turn he would deliver envelopes of cash to my door – I had never been one for money, I preferred souls or first born children but in my horrid human form money was the next best thing.

Opening the Grimoire I began to read over the pages, I would have to start from the bottom and work my way back up again. Get my human body used to this level of magick, it would take some time but I needed something. I had nothing left…No love, no family and no reason to live.

Walking over to my bedroom door I pulled the lock across and placed a chair next to the door. It was time to test this new human body…