Chapter 14 -Drawing Perspective
Genma stood as still as he could. It wasn't that he was nervous or afraid, it was simply that the Hokage deserved every ounce of respect he could muster. Given her often volatile emotional state, he thought it best to be an upstanding shinobi today and allow her all the time in the world to locate whatever the hell it was she had spent the last ten minutes rummaging through her desk drawer for. Without thinking, Genma rolled his tongue so that the senbon flicked to the opposite corner of his mouth. The Hokage glared up at him and he shifted slightly despite himself.
"Am I keeping you?" She practically oozed sarcasm and Genma shook his head forcefully. So perhaps he was being so well-behaved due to being the tiniest bit scared… but really, anyone who knew Tsunade would agree he was being clever in his silence. Unless, of course, she actually wanted him to speak, in which case…
"Uh…"
"What?" She barked, finally pulling a file out of the fathomless depths of her desk and slamming it on the wooden surface.
"Nothing," he mumbled, sulkily.
The Hokage sighed heavily and began rubbing at her head. "Look, I have a monstrous hangover so can we get this over quickly? I need to sleep."
Genma figured nodding couldn't possibly get him into trouble.
"You're leaving for the resort tomorrow. Establish yourself as staff and recon every little detail you think may be useful to Sakura when she gets there." She sighed again before leaning back into her chair. Genma had the briefest of moments to allow himself an appreciative glance at his esteemed leader's cleavage before scooping up the file and distracting himself with the contents.
"I'll give you a bit of time to go over it but do you have any questions at the moment?" Tsunade stayed in her position and Genma had the feeling she would be falling asleep any second.
"Not really," he shrugged. Anything he wasn't sure on he could find out later.
"Great," she sat up suddenly and pierced him with her gaze. Genma felt rooted to the spot. "Perhaps you could answer me one."
He gulped, throat suddenly parched.
"Like, for example, what exactly your intentions are with Shizune?"
Genma felt like he had been drained of every conscious thought, every ounce of blood… Surely Shizune wouldn't have said anything to her? Maybe when she got back but he couldn't imagine she would ever write it down. Anyone could have intercepted that piece of correspondence so easily.
"Well, umm…" He spluttered over his words as he tried to form an answer that would please the Hokage without trapping himself into a commitment he was only just beginning to even think about considering.
The anger suddenly drained from Tsunade's eyes and she laughed. Genma's eyebrows shot up questioningly and her features became hard again, though she seemed more tired than pissed off at him.
"You are the third person to stand in front of me and find themselves completely at a loss for words in the past twenty-four hours." She shook her head slightly before folding her arms on the desk and resting it on top of them. "Sit down," she muttered.
Unable to come up with a good enough excuse to leave right there and then, Genma dragged a nearby chair to the desk and sat tentatively.
"How would you say things with Kakashi and Sakura are going?" She suddenly asked.
"Oh, well," Genma sat up straighter, glad that the topic of conversation was moving away from him and his antics in Suna. "I think she's pretty hooked. From what I've seen it's just a matter of Kakashi letting the guilt trip go and she'll be all his."
"He told her everything."
Genma blinked. If he was honest, it wasn't all that surprising. He could tell it had been coming for a while, even before he had helped it along. "Well, Kakashi always puts his comrades before a mission."
"That's what he said," she moaned.
"Did you expect a different outcome, Hokage-sama?"
She looked up at him. He flinched automatically before he realised there was no hostile intent behind those amber eyes.
"I've got a dilemma," she began slowly, as if not really convinced she should be speaking to him. Genma was definitely sure he wanted to leave. "I've interfered enough, obviously, but the fact remains that she will be going on this mission. I spoke to Kakashi and although it's like getting blood from a stone, I almost feel like he doesn't want her with anybody."
Genma couldn't help the smirk, which only invited a curious look from the Hokage. He scratched his head wondering how much to say and the best way to say it. With a sigh, he threw caution to the wind. Weren't people usually praising him for his honesty?
"It's because she's his now."
The Hokage sat up straighter. "But, they haven't – "
"It doesn't matter," he cut her off and relaxed into the chair. "She is his. He definitely didn't intend it, that much is obvious, but Pinky has wormed her way under his skin and he can't shake her now." He gave a theatrical sigh, rather enjoying having the Hokage's full attention. It was almost funny he'd been so afraid barely a minute ago.
"I chose him because I thought he'd understand the most…"
"Oh he does, but that's why it was a mistake. You put ideas into the heads of two people who may not have noticed on their own, but you should have considered something first."
"What?" She asked miserably.
"Kakashi knows her better than any other man. Better than Naruto or any of her other male friends, because she never considered him, so she was never on her guard."
"Considered?"
Genma nodded with a smile. "She never thought for a second she would develop feelings for her sensei, so she has never been anything other than herself. Women hide parts of themselves from potential partners, as men do too. It's almost a defence, I suppose. So here she was since she was twelve, letting that man learn every fault, every tick, each corner of her personality and then one day, bam!" He slammed his hand on the table for emphasis. Also, because Tsunade jumped like he hoped and he grinned, thoroughly amused. "All of a sudden, out of nowhere, sexual tension is thrown into the mix and here is a man who knows every dark part of her and for some reason is attracted to her despite it. Hell, maybe even because of it…. I dunno about you, Hokage-sama, but that might be a little hard for most women to resist."
Tsunade was staring at him wide-eyed. "Why did that sort of make sense?"
"Because I'm clever?" Genma offered with a smug smile.
"No, that's not it." She was looking out of the window. Genma rolled his eyes. No one ever appreciated his wisdom. He'd been around a lot of women, why couldn't people just accept he was a bit of an expert in these matters? Obviously to avoid emotional scenes you had to be aware of people's feelings.
"So is that what happened with Shizune?"
Genma was suddenly forced to comprehend the vulnerable situation he was in. The Hokage was going to murder him and he'd stupidly let his guard down. "Uh, well… I-I don't think so…"
"Why? Or did you really think that before a few days ago, Shizune had considered sleeping with you?"
"Um," sweat was beginning to gather on his forehead. He couldn't exactly agree or disagree. Surely she had thought about the two of them before that day? What if she honestly had believed it would never happen? That might explain why she was so mad over something so trivial… She really hadn't considered it? What the hell?
Tsunade chuckled again, "you really are an idiot."
Unsure of how to reply, Genma decided to do his own digging.
"Shizune wouldn't have written to you about this. I can't imagine Sakura gossiping about her friend, which really only leaves…"
Genma glanced at the amused look on the Hokage's face.
"Hatake, you bastard!" Genma sprung up and raced from the office.
Tsunade settled back in her chair again. The man was clever, but so stupid at the same time. Honeslty, you'd have to be blind not to notice the attraction between those two. She was surprised it had taken this long for Shizune to crack. Which was part of the reason she hadn't understood at all why two people who had never displayed even the slightest romantic interest in each other whatsoever could so acutely implode her plan. Genma, weirdly enough, might have had a point.
Never, in her entire life, had she ever thought anything would be between herself and Jiraiya. Yet, in the weeks leading up to his death, a small comment from her apprentice had made her look at him differently. She had tried so hard to convince herself she had been devastated at his passing because he was her oldest and dearest friend, but it wasn't that which left her broken and crying over her sake bottle for weeks… She'd been so torn up over Dan's death that she had never noticed. She had refused to let anyone else in, yet there he had been anyway, all the time. She had wasted all those years and when she finally realised why his smile made her so happy, he was taken from her too.
She wasn't kidding herself anymore. Nobody would ever get more than two shots at complete happiness. She had screwed up both of them. Shizune and Sakura were the closest thing she had to family and she be damned if she was going to mess it up for them too. Shizune and Genma would be easy. Kakashi had been quite chatty about that whole situation (mental note – the Copy Ninja is only too happy to gossip when drinking gin) and once Shizune came back, Tsunade would beat the girl over the head, tell her to stop being so damn proud and throw her at Genma.
Sakura… well, from Kakashi's refusal to discuss anything other than what literally happened, she had begun to get the feeling that his inability to address any emotions may have spoken louder than any lies he could have weaved. He was adamant his only reasoning was because she was his teammate and friend and that she deserved better. He was dead right, of course, but she couldn't shake the nagging feeling there was more to it. Now, after speaking with Genma… perhaps she shouldn't meddle in this anymore? She really had done enough damage. Kakashi was a grown man. More than that, he was intelligent. Like Genma said, Kakashi knows Sakura.
Tsunade took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and unclenching her fingers to lay her hands flat on the desk as she did so. This, she would leave to him. She had spent years trusting him as a shinobi of the Leaf and he had come through for her without fail. This time, she was going to trust him as a man.
Sakura, she would trust because that girl deserved nothing less. After a nap, she would go and beg forgiveness.
"Ok… so, what happens now?"
Kakashi scrutinised his kohai. That was it? He was expecting a lot more than a simple question; Tenzo was usually the first to give him an earful after he did something stupid. He just shrugged and took another tentative sip of water. After the gargantuan drinking session he had had with the Hokage last night, he was sporting the hangover to match. Credit where credit was due, he had a newfound respect for the leader of their village. How she managed to get anything done with this kind of headache was anyone's guess.
Tenzo let out a small huffy noise and folded his arms with a frown. That was the haughty wood-user Kakashi had come to love.
"Seriously senpai, Sakura is going to realise she needs some kind of experience for this mission now, what's to stop her going out and looking for it?"
Kakashi just shrugged again. Nothing, he supposed.
"Are you hiding here because you think she might try to find you?"
Kakashi glared at him before glancing around the apartment. His kohai had been quite lucky a few years back and bought the place before it had hit the market. It was spacious, with high ceilings and beautiful hardwood flooring. The rug Kakashi was sitting on in front of the low table was heavenly. He could bury his fingers in the soft material and seriously imagine he was sitting on a cloud. To be honest, he had entertained the idea once or twice of bringing a woman back here when Tenzo was out on missions because he could only dream it would feel amazing to lie back on all that softness and just lose himself in –
"Senpai, get off my rug."
Kakashi's gaze snapped back to his kohai. "Why?"
"Get off it or stop fondling it."
"If you would just tell me where I could get one I wouldn't bother you here ever again," Kakashi replied with a roll of his eyes.
"If only that was true," Tenzo muttered, getting to his feet to refill the water jug. When he walked back into the room (Kakashi was quick to put his hands back on his knees), Tenzo topped up both of their glasses before fixing Kakashi with his stern 'captain' look. "Are you scared she won't come and find you?"
"Excuse me?" Kakashi asked silkily. He returned the younger jonin's look tenfold, just as a little reminder of who the actual captain at that table was.
Tenzo held his hands up in a gesture of peace and spoke gently, like you would to someone with an armful of smoke bombs. "I'm just asking whether you actually want Sakura to come to you for her first time."
Kakashi tutted loudly. Of course he did. He would love it if she couldn't bring herself to go to anyone but him. The position he was in now though was notably precarious. If she came to him and he agreed, the tension that had been building the past few weeks would no doubt lead to an incredible night, but he had the feeling that would be it for them. On the other hand, if he refused, she might be embarrassed and pissed at him, but the possibility of them rekindling a friendship was much higher. That was, of course, if she would forgive him for lying to her in the first place.
"How long should I give her before I try and speak to her, do you think?"
Tenzo sighed, obviously annoyed Kakashi had completely ignored his question. "I don't know, a few days?"
Kakashi nodded in agreement and was reaching for the glass when a movement in the air alerted him to something coming from the large glass doors that led to the balcony on the right. Before he could react, someone had grabbed hold of his wrist, twisting his arm behind him and slamming him first into the table where an audible crack and a disgruntled shout from Tenzo told him the wood had split, before forcing him face first into the rug.
"Why are you breaking my furniture?" Tenzo moaned loudly.
Kakashi, though slightly humiliated that he hadn't been able to put up a fight in his hungover state, relaxed as he recognised the chakra. "A simple hello would have sufficed," he offered. The rug was so soft on his skin he really wasn't all that bothered to be down there.
His assailant lent heavily on his arm causing a small amount of pain in his shoulder. Deciding he'd had enough, he bent his leg and brought his heel flying into the small of the shinobi's back. With a gasp, they lent forward slightly and Kakashi used the momentary lapse in concentration to send Genma flying through the lounge room to crash into a nearby cabinet.
"I swear to Kami-sama, one of these days the two of you will be able to enter someone's home, through a DOOR, and not break something!"
Genma, who was rubbing over the spot where his forehead had connected with the wood, grunted. "You create wood, just make a new one."
Kakashi was thankful the mask hid his smirk and as much fun as he knew it would be to see Genma full of splinters, he thought it best to avoid it for now. Besides, it would probably be him who would have to drag Genma's sorry ass to the hospital. And of course, Sakura might be there. Though, that might be a good excuse to see her… Unfortunately, Tenzo calmed down faster than Kakashi was expecting and he missed his chance to provoke him further.
"So, why exactly are you attacking Kakashi-senpai?"
Kakashi raised his eyebrows inquiringly, though he had a feeling he knew what this was all about.
"Because, that jerk is a traitor!"
"What?" Tenzo looked completely confused. "Kakashi-senpai would never betray the Leaf."
"The Leaf?" Genma was pulling himself up and glaring kunai in Kakashi's direction. "Screw the damn Leaf, he betrayed the sacred bond of trust between two guys on a mission for booty!"
Tenzo just stared at Genma for a few moments, before turning around and walking to the hallway. His voice and his face were equally expressionless, a skill mastered through years of ANBU training. "I'm leaving. I'll be back in an hour. Neither of you will be here at that time." He closed the door a little more forcefully than was required and left the older jonin staring at the space he had previously occupied.
"Now's my chance," Kakashi mumbled, getting up. "Help me with this, would you?"
"Kakashi, why the hell would you tell Tsunade I banged Shizune?"
"Banged?" Kakashi asked, making sure to lace his voice with enough disgust. He put the two glasses and the jug of water on the floor and indicated Genma should move to the other end of the table. Amusingly, the man flicked his hair out of his eyes and complied without question.
"Fine, had sex with, whatever. My point is, you know how insane that woman is, why would you do that?"
"Did she hurt you?" Kakashi sneered slightly as the two of them lifted the table and began walking it to the other side of the room next to the damaged cabinet.
"No," Genma snapped back, before his expression softened slightly. "Actually, she was weirdly calm about it."
As they placed the table none too gently onto the floor, Kakashi shrugged. "What's the problem then?"
"Dude, we're like, brothers. You can't be doing that."
"We're not even a little bit related." Kakashi reminded him as he walked back across the living room.
"No, like, friends. Ok look, please refrain from discussing my sex life with the Hokage in the future, ok?"
"Fine." Kakashi began rolling the large, sapphire rug and glanced up as Genma knelt beside him to help.
"It's fine really, I know why you did it."
"Oh?" Kakashi prompted. Truth be told he had been drunk and thought at the time it would have been hilarious to see the look on Tsunade's face when she found out. He was right.
"Yup, you just didn't want to talk about what is happening between you and Sakura."
"Nothing is happening between me and Sakura," Kakashi replied flatly. He had personally seen to that.
"Uh-huh," Genma grinned, "that's not what me and the Hokage think."
Kakashi stared at his friend threateningly. Unfortunately, it didn't work quite as well on him as it did on Tenzo.
"It's ok," Genma laughed, "the Hokage knows exactly what's going on now."
"What have you said?" They had finished rolling the rug up and Kakashi was lifting it onto his shoulder.
"Nothing that wasn't true," Genma was grinning manically.
"I swear Genma…" Kakashi let the threat hang in the air unspoken but his friend was unperturbed.
"Later!"
Sighing to himself and determining that surely the Hokage was smart enough to take whatever idiosyncratic garbage that fool had blurted out with a grain of salt, Kakashi turned on his heel and winced as he heard a crash behind him. If – no, when Tenzo asked, he'd just blame Genma for the missing rug and the broken water jug.
Sakura paused with her knuckles a centimetre away from the Hokage office door. She really didn't want to be there, but when your leader issues a summons, you have to comply. She couldn't sense anyone's chakra accept her shishou's, but that meant nothing in this village. If Tsunade had decided to force the issue then Kakashi could just as likely be behind that door as well. Facing one of them was bad enough, but the two of them together? She most definitely was not up to that.
Sakura had never felt so emotionally drained in her life, not even about Sasuke. She still couldn't put her finger on why she was hurting so damn much. She was furious about the entire situation and upset about the way people she trusted implicitly had treated her, but there was this underlying, gnawing sadness that she couldn't quite place.
She took a deep breath and knocked sharply twice.
"Enter."
Walking into the office, she saw Tsunade wave her hand at a chair, indicating that she should sit. Sakura did so without a word, thankful it was just the two of them.
Tsunade sighed heavily before fixing her eyes on her. Sakura could tell from the slight glazed quality that her Hokage had clearly just woken up, no doubt from one of her hangover naps. Sakura bit her tongue rather than admonishing her like she usually would. She rather felt the pain was deserved.
"I want to start by apologising again."
Sakura huffed.
"Seriously, I understand a little better now and even though I thought I was acting in your best interests, I very clearly was not."
Sakura didn't reply, but softened her expression somewhat. She wasn't blind, she knew how much the Hokage cared about her.
"I really thought I was sparing you from it all, but I made matters worse for the both of you."
"Both of us?" Sakura knew it couldn't have been easy to convince Kakashi to take on the task, but at least he'd had a choice.
Tsunade gave her a small smile. "Kakashi isn't the bad guy, not really. He was doing what his Hokage asked of him and even in the end, he couldn't do it. He sat where you are now and told me in no uncertain terms that you were his teammate, his friend, and would always put you first."
Sakura crossed her arms sulkily. "Well, he'd say that about anyone. He always puts his comrades before a mission."
"You think so?" Tsunade sounded amused now and Sakura was in no mood for it.
"Fine, I accept your apology and I sort of understand where you are coming from but I reserve the right to be pissed a little longer."
Tsunade shrugged, "fair enough." She tossed a large file over to Sakura, who caught it surprised. "This is what we have so far regarding your mission in a few weeks."
Sakura nodded and stood up to leave.
"In all honesty, Sakura, your virginity is going to be a hindrance. I'm not saying ditch it with anyone, but think about how it may implicate this mission." The Hokage sighed before looking at her apologetically. "I thought once that I could change the way the world saw medics. I think I mostly succeeded. To change how the world sees a kunoichi though… that is a lot harder. I just can't send anyone else. You're right for this mission, you have the skills, knowledge and expertise in healing… I don't know what else to do."
Sakura regarded her shishou. It was true there was a very stereotypical view of kunoichi. The days before the villages' creation, it was widely accepted that kunoichi were primarily used for seduction and assassination. Even though this was a far cry from the kunoichi of the present day, there was no denying the stigma was still real. Unfortunately, every now and again, a mission would arise that could only be resolved in this way.
The Hokage really did seem to be pained by the reality of their situation. Despite herself, Sakura gave her a small, reassuring smile, which the she returned. "Just promise me that if you need to talk about anything, you'll come and find me?"
"Hai, shishou," Sakura said softly before slipping out of the office and heading for the security of her home.
She had been neglecting her household duties of late so there was quite the pile of dishes mounting up as well as several books and papers scattered across her coffee table and over the floor. Much to her annoyance, the Icha Icha draft had been sitting on the kitchen counter since last night as well. She had been determined to throw it out. Really, she would only have to give it a slight nudge and it would fall into the bin. She just couldn't bring herself to do it and it infuriated her endlessly. It had been a tool, that's all. Just a way for Hatake Kakashi to learn what he could about her and use it to his advantage, the absolute bastard. How easily she had caved! She was an embarrassment to kunoichi everywhere! Not anymore. Picking the draft up, she glared at the slightly scrunched pages and held it over the bin, hands shaking.
"Sakura-chan?"
With a jump, Sakura stuffed the pages into her cutlery draw and spun around.
"Naruto! How long have you been here?"
The jinchuuriki scratched over his blonde hair, large idiotic grin ever in place. "I got here about ten minutes before you did."
"What do you want?" She snapped impatiently. "I have a mission file to go over."
"Oh," the grin faded slightly, "Sakura-chan is going on a mission without me?"
Sakura rolled her eyes and flipped the kettle on. "You go on missions without me all the time, Naruto."
"I suppose," he agreed reluctantly, taking a seat at her small kitchen table. She felt his eyes on her while she poured the scolding water into a teapot. She busied herself finding two clean cups and a tea strainer before balancing it all as she carried it to the table.
"Oi, Sakura," Naruto finally broke the silence as she stirred her favourite mix of jasmine, rose and camomile, letting it infuse.
"Mm?" She asked absentmindedly.
"Are you happy?"
Sakura blinked up at him. What was that supposed to mean? "Yes…" she replied slowly.
"Oh, ok." The two of them stared at each other over the teapot. Sakura was the first to crack.
"Why?" She sounded disgruntled, even to herself.
"O-oh, well, umm…"
"Just spit it out Naruto," she snapped, busying herself by pouring them both a cup.
"Ok. It's just, Sai thinks you're keeping a secret."
She hesitated for a second, but continued pouring Naruto's tea. She didn't think she had been that obvious. She barely remembered even seeing Sai around the past week, how could he know anything?
"Why would he think that?" She asked cagily.
"I don't really understand it. A few days ago he said that he'd been reading up on relationships and that you were displaying some of the behaviours he'd been learning about... or something." He scratched his chin, obviously clueless.
"Naturally," Sakura snorted, much to Naruto's surprise. "Sai seriously needs to stop with the social analysing books. Half the time I swear he just creates scenarios."
"R-Really?" Naruto looked somewhat relieved and Sakura had to smile.
"I'm fine, Naruto, I promise. There are a few things about this mission that are getting me down a bit but it's nothing I can't handle."
"Oh," Naruto grinned, "if it's about a mission I can definitely help you out!"
"No," Sakura said quickly, "nope, I've got this. Besides," she added with a nervous giggle, "I think Hinata would kill me."
"What?"
"Nothing. Here, drink your tea."
Sakura didn't like lying to him, but she really couldn't imagine a reality where Naruto would take the news of their sensei attempting to seduce her calmly. She had no idea how to tactfully broach the subject with him and frankly, wasn't strong enough to stop him from trying to kill said sensei. No, it was best she kept this to herself for now. She realised that sadly, there was no one objective or distant enough from the problem that she could actually talk to comfortably. She had half considered going to cry to Ino over everything after confronting Tsunade yesterday, but firstly, that girl couldn't keep gossip this good a secret to save her life and secondly, she'd probably just tell Sakura to get over herself and sleep with him anyway, mostly so that she could describe his face to the cumbersome blonde afterwards.
Once Naruto had finished his tea and eaten two of her instant ramen cups, he left her to go over the file Tsunade had given her. She had been surprised to see the words "S-Class" on the front page at first, but the more she read the more it made sense, unfortunately. Her target, Fujioka Kaito, had a ruthless reputation and a heavy bounty on his head according to the bingo book. Originally from the Mist, he had abandoned his village long ago in pursuit of power and money. His main jutsu, though formidable sounding, were mostly water-based techniques, which explained why Tsunade thought she was the right kunoichi for the job. Her earth-based nature would be strong against water types.
Sakura had to admit begrudgingly that the man in question was quite handsome, albeit a little psychotic. For some reason she couldn't help but imagine he would talk in a similar way as Satoru. She spent a few seconds wondering how Yuuki was doing before putting the raven-haired woman to the back of her mind. That was so far from being her problem right now…
Feeling slightly overwhelmed at how much work had gone in to preparing this undercover mission and knowing full well it was going to be one of her most challenging tasks yet, Sakura tucked the file into one of her medical text books and went for a wander around the village.
After purchasing some dango from one of Gai-sensei's favourite sweet shops, she ambled lazily in the direction of the village centre. The closer she got to the main plaza, the busier the streets became and she enjoyed being lost among the bustle. Normally, crowds this big could be a ninja's greatest ally or enemy, depending on whether you were the one hunting or being hunted. Kakashi had taught her that lesson on a mission last year. She had watched mesmerised as he had performed the henge jutsu, transforming his usual eye-catching hair into an unimpressive shade of brown, eyes to match. He blended in to the crowd seamlessly and she had struggled to keep track of him from her perch on a nearby roof. She almost missed it, the moment he struck, but she just glimpsed the tell-tale silver flash of a kunai across their targets throat. Kakashi had slipped away before the man had hit the ground. She had never again felt quite as safe in a crowd, but here in the village, she could relax a little. It wasn't impossible someone could assassinate her here, but she felt the odds were slightly in her favour.
As she stepped into the main square, Sakura took in the sights and sounds of a very excitable civilian crowd preparing for the end of summer festival their village held each year. Really, it was just an excuse for everyone to have a giant outdoor party one last time before the cold drove them all inside. She had to admit, once she was old enough to drink, this festival had taken on a whole new life and the buzzing atmosphere was infectious. She had just been about to offer help to a nearby group hanging lanterns when she noticed a loan figure with a sketch pad sitting on a bench.
Smiling, Sakura wandered over to sit next to the man, silently offering him her last dango, which he took with a small smile of his own.
"Thank you, Sakura."
"What are you drawing?" She asked, leaning over to spy on the colourful page. He had almost perfectly replicated the fountain in the middle of the square, complete with a small group of children unravelling some bunting and a cute couple sharing an ice-cream. Sakura couldn't help but grin. "I love it."
"Really?" Sai gazed down at his work and gave a shrug. "It's nothing special."
"Yes it is," Sakura enthused, "it's one of the happiest drawings I've ever seen from you, actually."
"…Why?"
"I dunno," Sakura plucked it out of his hands and held it up so they could both see it better, "maybe it's the colours, or the scene… It just makes me feel happy inside."
Sai regarded her carefully until she started to shift uncomfortably. "Sorry," she mumbled, passing the sketchpad back. Perhaps she should say something to him? Tell him to keep his nose out of her relationships, or at least stop putting ideas in Naruto's head.
Sai ripped the page from the book.
"What are you doing?" Sakura demanded. Did it bother him that she liked it? That was pretty stupid.
"Here," he said simply, holding it out and waiting patiently for her to take it.
She remained frozen to the bench, staring at the paper, dumbstruck. She couldn't remember him ever giving her one of his pieces before. "Why are you giving me this?" She asked slowly.
"Because you like it," he said, eyes widening. She could almost see him trying to determine whether the gesture was socially acceptable and she had to bite back a laugh as she took it.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I like it when I see your real smile, Sakura. It makes you much less ugly."
Sakura felt her eyebrow twitch.
"Ah," came Sai's slightly panicked voice, "I said the wrong thing, didn't I…"
Taking a deep breath, Sakura decided to let it go. She was actually quite touched by his gesture and she knew it was a big deal to him. "You can buy me something to eat," she declared, taking his hand and dragging him after her.
"Didn't you just have dango?"
Sakura shot him a warning look and Sai remained quiet while she ordered some fried ebi nigiri from a local vendor and he paid. They ate on the move, Sakura pointing out other festival scenes Sai could draw. She spent a pleasant afternoon watching him pause to sketch every now and then. He asked her several times whether she wanted to be in one, but she refused. She really didn't want to see a drawing of her done by an artist who frequently referred to her as 'ugly.'
After several lazy hours, Sakura suggested they retire to Sai's studio apartment. Her intentions were not exactly pure. She had realised a short while ago that Sai's complete lack of social understanding might actually be to her advantage and although it was going to be painfully embarrassing, his total disinterest in her love life may provide some insightful clues as to how to progress with her mission.
After letting her inside, Sai instantly went to his small kitchen, returning with a bottle of sake and two tiny cups.
"Why do people assume I'm an alcoholic," Sakura moaned, throwing herself onto his bed. Sai had a very minimalistic outlook regarding household items, so the bed was the only place, besides the floor, to sit at his place. She gazed at the paintings hanging around the walls, eyes falling on a pile of drawings that were scattered around the small table. Strange, Sai was usually meticulously neat… She reached over and plucked off the ones she could reach, flipping through them slowly. They were all people she knew. There were a couple of Naurto, patented grin on his face. One of them had Hinata smiling shyly at him. "Oh, that's cute," Sakura remarked.
Sai sat comfortably next to her, leaning against the wall and watching as she saw each of her friends and people she knew. "What made you draw these?" Sakura asked, smiling knowingly at a surprisingly enlightening drawing of Shikamaru and Ino sitting together, the man's eyes on the woman who was smiling at something beyond the drawing.
Sai pointed to a book on the table and leaning off the bed slightly, Sakura just made out the title. "Recognising relationships," she read aloud, before glancing back at a drawing of Ten Ten throwing something at Lee. "You realise Ten Ten has a thing for Neji, right?"
"Yes," Sai replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Sakura couldn't help but giggle. "It's not just about romantic relationships though," he continued, pulling a few drawings off the bottom of the pile. He held one out to her and she couldn't help but admire how he had captured the love between mother and daughter.
"Oh, wow… You should give this to Kurenai-sensei."
Sai nodded but said nothing more. Sakura continued to flip through the drawings until one in particular made her breath catch in her throat. She could feel Sai staring at her and much to her absolute annoyance, a horribly familiar prickling sensation had started in the corners of her eyes.
"Sake," she demanded, voice rougher than usual.
Sai handed her a full cup wordlessly and she downed it, shuddering slightly. The more she stared at the picture the angrier she got. "When was this?"
"About a week ago."
"Why did you draw it like this?" She croaked. The picture was becoming blurred and she fought so hard not to let a single tear fall, but Sai's words managed to undo her.
"I only drew what I could see, Sakura."
As the first tear betrayed her she stared at Kakashi's face; or more aptly, his eye. In the picture the two of them were standing together. Sai hadn't done backgrounds in any of the drawings so she had no idea where they had been or what they were talking about. Her face seemed so vibrant. She was laughing at something, eyes shut, one hand held up slightly, like she was about to tuck her hair behind her ears or something. Kakashi was leaning forward slightly with both hands in his pockets. Sakura realised his Icha Icha book was nowhere to be seen.
She gently placed her finger over his exposed eye. It was too painful to look at. It couldn't be real.
"You're very talented to be able to draw so much emotion on a man whose face you've never seen."
"Like I said, that's what I saw."
"No," Sakura snapped, "it was all fake."
Sai looked at her questioningly and Sakura tossed the paper onto the floor. "I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise you won't tell Naruto, or Ino or anyone else for that matter, ok?"
"Is this a secret? Friends keep secrets for each other, right?"
"Yes," she shot him a weak smile as she wiped away her few escaped tears.
It took four more shots and a never-ending stream of embarrassment but Sakura managed to more or less get the story out. She couldn't believe how much better it felt finally talking to someone, especially someone who was in no way involved and had no inclination to butt in and offer advice every few minutes. She never, in a million years, have thought to tell Sai her problems, but the more time she had spent in his company that afternoon, the more it seemed to make sense. She ranted until she was exhausted, finally collapsing onto Sai's pillow.
There was silence for a long time. She watched Sai as he processed all the information. She could tell he was thinking hard. She wondered whether it had been too big a step in their friendship and had to stifle a laugh. How pathetic had her life gotten that she was turning to Sai for advice. The sun had begun to set, lengthening the shadows in the room, but neither of them thought to turn on the lights. Realising he would probably sit there all night if she didn't intervene, Sakura sat up again and moved beside him, bringing his pillow with her so she had something to hug tight.
"What should I do now?" She asked solemnly.
"You're determined to do the mission?"
"I have to! So many lives depend on me helping to shut down this kunai op."
"Ok," Sai turned to her, "realistically, you do not want this Fujioka-san to be your first time, so you must find someone to sleep with."
Sakura groaned. "You make it sound way too simple."
"But it is simple, isn't it?" Sai sat up a little straighter beside her. "Find someone to sleep with. It's up to you whether you say it's for a mission or not, but a situation you can control - one with no fear of enemy attack or blowing your cover, has got to be preferable to doing it on the mission with a stranger?"
Sakura gaped at him. Of course she knew that already, but hearing him state it like it was the most obvious thing in the world sort of took the wind from her sails a little. "That doesn't mean what they did was ok…" She pouted.
"It helps it make a little more sense though. Hokage-sama took a course of action to try and protect not only the village, but you. Her way of doing it, while not a great idea, was the best she could come up with. Sakura, most Kage wouldn't have considered your feelings on this matter at all."
"I know…" She mumbled back.
"Kakashi started doing what he believed was the best for the village and yet again, chose to tell you instead. Most shinobi wouldn't have considered your feelings, either."
"I know!" Sakura snapped, starting to get irritated.
Sai, clearly sensing her rising anger, decided to end the conversation quickly by scooping the picture he had drawn off the floor before sitting against her side and holding it up for her to see.
"Your pupils dilate when you look at him."
"What?"
"You are clearly attracted to him. Why not let him sleep with you? If it's a matter of pride, ask Naruto or Kiba or any of the other males in our friendship group. I'm sure, as friends, they would always help you in any way they could."
"What..?" Sakura whispered, eyes flickering from the picture to Sai's face and back again as he began talking.
"Look at you in this picture. Really look," Sai brought it closer and she followed his finger as it circled slowly around the drawing of her head. "I've known for a long time that I never considered you the prettiest person. I think it's your hair. I don't really like pink."
"Get to the point," Sakura growled. It was nearly ironic that she had gone from the company of a man who pushed all of her buttons on purpose to one that was oblivious to the effect of his words.
"Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is, until this moment, I had never thought of you as pretty." He tapped the drawing lightly. "More and more lately, especially when you're around him, you're almost… beautiful." He whispered the last word and Sakura knew it was because he had been unnerved by her sudden closeness. She wasn't sure why, but she had to be near him. The things he had been saying made sense; they just sounded right, and out of nowhere, his solution was perfect.
"Sai-kun," she gently placed a small kiss, a peck really, on the corner of his mouth. The alcohol and her brilliance was making her incredibly confident. This had to be the better choice, the right one to make. "Can you help me?"
A/N - So, that just happend.. xD
Follow me on facebook (The Silver Scarecrow) for updates etc, where I may have mentioned I found the idea of pairing Sakura and Sai interesting... :P
Also, would just like to say a big thank you to M'sies and deBrumbled for your reviews - it was wondrful :) I love reading through everyones reviews, don't get me wrong, those ones just particularly made me happy this time. Can't wait to hear what theories everyone has this time :P
TSS