"It's never the tears that measure the pain, sometimes it's the smile we fake."
December 16, 2014
Akiko barely caught sight of the flowerpot falling when she lunged. It was a spur of the moment thing, filling her with adrenaline and an urge to protect the man who would surely have become a victim. "Kaoru, look out!" He was barely given any time to respond as her arms latched around his neck, her body weight being slammed into him faster than he could blink as he was sent tumbling backwards and onto his back, the girl on top of him and covering him as best as she could with her smaller frame.
Something sharp sliced Kaoru's cheek and he flinched, only to widen in his eyes in horror when he realized what had happened. That wasn't... It wasn't supposed to happen like this. No one was supposed to get hurt from that small prank. No one was supposed to be... "A-Akiko! Akiko, hold on!" He shifted and pushed the girl up, causing her to groan as the blood and water mixed together and stained her clothes, trailing down her back. He quickly moved behind her and paled intensely, hating the world for everything that was happening in his life. Everything was going all wrong.
Alex was dying and now Akiko was hurt because of him and his brother.
Kaoru carefully plucked out some shards of the pot out of her skin, having untied her apron and pushed her shirt up to reveal her back. She let out a small sound of pain and he flinched, apologizing.
"Kaoru! Kaoru, what happened-" Hikaru's voice died, caught in his throat. He stood there mortified, staring at the blood trailing down Akiko's back. No... This couldn't be happening.
"Oh my god, are you two okay!?" One of the girls who had accidentally knocked the flower pot over cried out from the window they were looking out of on the second floor. "I-I'll call an ambulance-"
Akiko finally spoke, snapping, "I don't need an ambulance! It's just a few cuts! It's not like my back is broken or anything." Hikaru and Kaoru both flinched at those words, but relaxed just the slightest when they realized that she had a point. It was just a few mere cuts, and nothing was broken. Akiko let out a his as she yanked her hand away from the ground, having sliced her palm on some of the terracotta. "Ow... You owe me for this, ginger." She scowled, before trying to joke, "I'm a hero now, right? That makes you my damsel in distress."
"Y-Yeah..." Kaoru stammered, and Hikaru knelt down beside him, attempting to pick up the broken pieces of the pot and the crushed flower, sticking them in one of the trashbags he brought with him. There was a silence and Hikaru spoke,
"You're an idiot, Urushihara. But...thanks. For...saving my brother." He turned his head, a light pink dusting over his cheeks. He was completely ashamed of his and his brother's idea to win the contest, seeing that it had hurt someone, but was embarrassed to be thanking her. His head shot up and he stared at Kaoru alarmed, a thought suddenly hitting as his eyes zoned in to Kaoru's face, "Kaoru! You're hurt!" He was about to start fussing over him, but Kaoru stopped him and said,
"Akiko's hurt worse, Hikaru. She tried to save me." Akiko was about to tell them to stop talking about her like she wasn't there, but Haruhi suddenly slammed the door to the patio open with a first aid kit in her hands.
"I saw what happened! Are you both okay? I went to get the first aid kit as fast as I could as soon as I saw it hit Akiko and I-" She cut herself off, seeing how grave the twins expressions were. She frowned and looked down, feeling sad herself before shaking her head and kneeling down, getting out some cottonballs and pouring some water on it from a waterbottle she had in her apron's pocket. Akiko let out a hiss as Haruhi cleaned the wound, but the brunette was surprised when Hikaru reached out and grabbed Haruhi's wrist, pulling the cotton balls away from her while Kaoru rummaged through the kit for some bandages.
"We can do this, Haruhi. You just...go back to work." Hikaru almost couldn't believe what he was saying, finding himself almost out of character. He normally wouldn't care if someone got hurt in their pranks, but... Alex really did change us for the better, huh? Ever since she and Haruhi came along...
"Here, I found some ointment," Kaoru said lifting up the tiny tube to show his brother.
Akiko scowled, "I can do this myself." She reached out to grab it, but Kaoru held it out of her reach and gave it to his brother. Haruhi sighed and stood up, brushing the dirt off of her jeans before heading back inside to grab a broom, planning on cleaning up the tiny pieces of terracotta that Hikaru missed. "Hey-"
"Just hold still!" Hikaru snapped, "Damn it..." Akiko huffed and slumped, only to hold back a sound of pain. She felt Hikaru brush the ointment across her wounds and she grabbed a fisthold of her shorts, irritated at how painful it was. Akiko wasn't exactly used to pain. "Why are you guys even doing this?"
They didn't answer, and she found her annoyance growing as her patience slowly started to degrade.
Hikaru let Kaoru put the bandages on her back while he worked on her cut palm. He quickly wrapped some ace wrap around her hand and Kaoru snapped the medicine kit box shut, briefly noting that it was Kyoya's medicine kit that he carried around with him because Alex always seemed to get hurt.
Kaoru thought glumly, Not like he'll be needing that anymore... No. No, she's fine. She's fine. She's perfectly...He swallowed and stood up, offering a hand to Akiko who pulled the back of her shirt down with a huff. She stood up and stumbled, holding tightly onto Kaoru's hand. "Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine..." She looked down at her feet, a light red dusting over her face. "Th-Thanks for...not that you needed to, anyway. I could have done it myself." She was completely embarrassed at the fact that she needed help. Her back was killing her however from how hard that pot hit her, and figured she'd have quite a few bruises to go along with the cuts. Hot guys just touched my back. Perfectly normal. Okay. She had to remind herself that it was Hikaru and Kaoru to calm her frantic heart.
"You stopped me from ending up in the hospital," He responded calmly, looking down at her and letting go of her hand. He lifted his head up to look at his brother, but tensed in surprise when Hikaru ran up and tackled him in a hug. He grabbed onto Kaoru's shirt, his arms tightly wrapped around his little twin brother, and muttered,
"You scared me there..." Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru's waist in surprise, frowning and lowering his head as his eyes became half-lidded. "I don't want to lose you too..."
"It's fine, Hikaru. It was only a little scratch, see?" He pulled back from his brother and brushed his thumb across the wound of his cheek, a little bit of blood staining his skin. Akiko stared at the box on the ground and leaned down, picking it up and holding it with one arm as she opened it. She rummaged about for a few seconds before finding what she was looking for, and pulling off the seals she walked over to the brothers and slapped the bandaid onto Kaoru's cheek, stunning the twin.
"There. Now we're even." The brothers stared down at the smiling girl in shock. Seeing their expressions she grinned wider and commented, "What kind of Knight would I be if I let my little damsels stay in distress, hm?"
The patio door slid open and Haruhi walked out, broom and dustpan in her hands. She looked up, just as Misuzu appeared out of nowhere and started squealing.
"Brotherly love and a kindly friendship blooming over a heroic act! Oh~! So refreshing! One hundred refresher points! And the victory goes to-The Hitachiin BROTHERS~!" He climbed a ladder and jumped onto the roof of the pension, twirling and singing as he exclaimed the winner.
Suddenly the piano music that was echoing about and reverberating all around the Inn&Breakfast stopped, sounding suspiciously like an organ. Akiko blinked, Haruhi stared in confusion, and the twins eyes were covered by their hair.
I should feel happy about this...
...since this means we can keep an eye on Alex...
So why do I...
...still feel like shit?
Hikaru and Kaoru, sensing that they were both thinking the same thing, reached out and grabbed the other's hand as they stared at each other out of the corner of their eyes.
They sensed an intruder at their gate, trying to picklock it open with a hairclip. Their gazes turned to Akiko, who was staring at them and clapping in mock-congratulations. She had opened so many locks, pushed her way through multiple doors, that only one was left standing. How many walls had she already knocked down without them noticing?
Haruhi congratulated the twins, only to stare at them in worry when they didn't say anything. Akiko watched Kaoru grab Hikaru's hand and lead him into the pension, stepping through the patio door and slowly closing it behind them. Kaoru wanted to see her... after all of this mess, he needed to see Alex for himself. He had been dragging it out, as it had been a few days since he last saw her, knowing that she was worse than when they spoke to her in the hospital that day. He was terrified of what he was going to see. However as soon as they arrived to room one twelve, they saw Kyoya closing the door silently behind him, his hair obscuring his eyes from view.
They could only watch as the Shadow King walked past them, his face completely expressionless as stopped temporarily to comment quietly, "What made you think that you could hide her from me...?"
Hikaru held Kaoru's hand so tightly he was shaking, watching Kyoya stare at them with dead eyes. His lips started to curl back, trembling as if he were about to cry, before his face slipped back into its emotionless facade and he continued on his way down the hall, his shoulders stiff in an attempt to correct his posture.
Kaoru's lips turned into a deep frown, and found his theories about Kyoya and Alex correct-at least to a certain point. I'm not sure who's more torn about this whole situation. Hikaru and me, who love her like a sister, or Kyoya-Sempai... who clearly holds feelings much much deeper than friendship for the girl.
Tamaki found his dreams completely crushed. Those damn shady twins had won the competition and now he was stuck having to go to his family's cottage in the area, leaving poor Haruhi at the twins mercy! He doubted they'd try anything with Alex, she was their precious little sister after all, and Akiko knew how to whip 'em up into shape. But Haruhi was completely defenseless against them, his darling little girl was going to have to put up with nothing but horrors!
He ran his hands down his face, fear running up-and-down his spine at the terrible thoughts rushing through his head. Maybe he can convince Haruhi to stay with him at the cottage instead of at the pension? Oh, but what if she gets mad at him again? Tamaki gained a brilliant idea, deciding that he'd just call her every five minutes to make sure she was okay. It was better than having Kyoya put cameras in the twins room to make sure they didn't sneak out and try to attack her!
Haruhi would get really mad at him then... Why couldn't it have been him? His darling Haruhi... his poor little girl!
Maybe he would go ask Kyoya for advice. He almost started to dial his phone number, but paused. He had a feeling in a his gut... I think I'll pay him a visit, actually. It's been a long time since we had an actual conversation! And his house still didn't have a kotatsu the last time I went over! He pushed himself off his bed, calling for his chauffeur.
After about ten minutes of driving, Tamaki cleared his throat as he strolled up to Kyoya's cottage, ignoring his urge to rush up the steps as fast as he could so he could tackle Kyoya and ask him for advice.
He pressed a button on the door, announcing that it was him, and after a moment he heard Kyoya's voice come out from the speakers, saying softly, "Come in."
Tamaki knew something was wrong instantly. Slowly opening the door, he led himself through the living room. He frowned and proceeded cautiously, calling out his friend's name as he neared Kyoya's bedroom. The living room appeared perfectly normal, and as he cast a quick glance to the kitchen nothing seemed out of order. He knocked on the bedroom door, stopping. "Kyoya, are you in there?"
There was no response for a long moment, and Tamaki was about to walk away and check the bathroom when he heard the bedroom door unlock. The blonde turned his head and frowned, slowly reaching a hand out to the doorknob. He turned the knob and pushed the door open, squinting his eyes at the sudden darkness. He reached a hand out to the side, stiffening when he heard footsteps walking about the dark room, and flipped on the light.
He blinked multiple times to adjust his eyes to the light and froze, staring in horror at the sight before him.
Kyoya's room was utterly trashed. Tables were flipped over and chairs were broken, his bed sheets thrown everywhere and the pillows having the feathers ripped out of them. The lamp that used to sit on his nightstand was crushed to pieces and rested against the floor on the other side of the room. Everything in the room was practically destroyed...
Everything except Kyoya himself, who was close enough to the breaking point already. Tamaki almost didn't believe what he was seeing-he almost couldn't believe it. "K-Kyoya..." He whispered, seeing the man pick his pineapple laptop off the floor. His clothing and hair was disheveled, as if he no longer cared about keeping appearances, as if he had just woken up and gotten out of bed, throwing on his clothes and not caring about being neat and putting on his usual facade. He wasn't wearing his glasses.
He looked almost completely lifeless, and his eyes...
Tamaki's blood ran cold and without even thinking about or asking what was wrong he ran forward and tackled Kyoya in a hug, knocking the man backwards and pushing him onto the bed. Kyoya let out a grunt, but didn't fight back or yell. It was almost as if he didn't have the strength to anymore, and just telling Tamaki that he was able to enter the cottage must have taken a lot of energy out of him.
"...Why are you even here, Tamaki?" Kyoya finally asked, laying there with Tamaki on top of him. His laptop had been dropped on the bed beside him and Tamaki's arms tightened. "Go home." His voice was low in pitch, barely even audible.
"No. Not...not while you're like this." Tamaki couldn't stand seeing his best friend like this. He had no idea what could have driven to destroy his room like he had; he knew Kyoya tended to bottle his feelings inside, something that was very unhealthy for a person, and when he couldn't control them anymore he snapped and went on a rampage. Kyoya was... is more self-contained and conscious than anyone Tamaki ever knew-even more so than Alex. He knew she got upset whenever someone mentioned her scars, or even started to judge her based on them. Kyoya always put on that mask of his... Tamaki and Alex have been the only ones to see it take down.
He would never admit it, but Kyoya was pretty damn self-conscious. He always put on appearances to please other people, always acted like someone he was not... As a "Host", as an "Ootori". His name was like a curse... Tamaki remembered what it was like when he remembered seeing Kyoya's true form for the first time, and how he had called him evil and scary. That didn't scare Tamaki away though. Kyoya was his best friend. He knew everything about him and Tamaki him.
Then Alex came into the picture and turned Kyoya upside down, ripping that mask away without even trying. They were inseparable, like two peas in a pod, the Shadow King and his little Queen. Tamaki could barely even see Kyoya without Alex by his side and vice versa, but lately...
"Kyoya, I'm...sorry for asking, but does this have something to do with Alex?" He felt Kyoya stiffen and without warning the dark haired male pushed Tamaki off of him, reaching out a hand and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, glaring daggers at him. "Kyoya?" Tamaki watched with wide eyes as Kyoya scowled deeply, his face resembling that of pure rage-pure unadulterated rage that just could not be contained, and as Kyoya opened his mouth to scream at Tamaki to leave him alone his voice cracked, his lips trembled, his shoulders and hands started to shake, and before he could even attempt to retain any of his dignity and pride by turning away the tears flooded his eyes and streamed down his face, an anguished cry escaping his lips as he released Tamaki and leaned forward, his forehead resting against Tamaki's shoulder.
Kyoya was completely destroyed. He thought... He had thought that if Alex went to a hospital, his family's hospital, she could get better. They had the medicine that could cure things like Tuberculosis-even the most stubborn of ones, but when he arrived in her room and started to try and convince her to go to the hospital, she revealed everything to him. How she had tried, and failed, to get cured, how she had multiple tests run on her and how every doctor told her it was incurable.
Nothing could be done to save and he...
"God damn it, Tamaki..." He held onto his moronic friend tightly, the blonde alarmed at the sudden change of personality and attitude Kyoya had given him. "I... I let myself... I let her in and now..."
"Kyoya, tell me what's wrong," Tamaki pleaded, trying to understand what was wrong. It very obviously had something to do with Alex. Yes, she was sick, but it wasn't like it was anything serious. Maybe they had gotten into a fight and Alex refused to forgive him? That wouldn't make any sense though. She always forgives him. Tamaki continued, "What's the matter between you and Alex?"
Kyoya pushed Tamaki away from him again, glaring with red puffy eyes, the tears streaming down his face uncontrollably as he shouted, "She's dying you imbecile! What do you think's the matter? She's dying I can't do a single thing about it!"
"Wh-What?"
Kyoya laughed at the look on his friend's face. The look of complete and innocent confusion.
"She's not dying-all she has is a simple cold, like Misuzu-Chii said-"
"That's to keep all you who don't know about it quiet! Alex didn't want anyone to worry, why do you think she tried to break up with me?"
Tamaki was a bit overwhelmed at this point, and found himself on the verge of crying as well. "She... You two were dating?" Kyoya didn't speak anymore, just merely pulled himself away from Tamaki and crawled over to the other end of the bed near the wall, sitting up with his legs dangling over the edge. He hung his head, reaching his hands up to his head to ruffle his hair, his chest feeling as though he had taken a bullet to the heart.
The heart he only recently discovered he had. The heart he had built with walls, encasing in a deep freezer and icing to the point to where it could never melt. He was probably never going to recover. He had let his defenses down, his mask from humanity was completely ripped off and torn to shreds, his heart unfrozen and caressed gently with warm hands and kind words. A goofy smile... bright brown eyes that glowed when she looked at him, who's tears he repeatedly wiped away, who he said he would never let be taken from him...
He told her she had a second chance at life. Had he been lying to her this whole time? Her life was being taken from her faster than either could blink.
"...I was going to propose."
"What?" Tamaki looked up in alarm, visibly shaken from earlier. He looked startled and stunned at the same time. Kyoya's mouth felt dry, his throat sore. His eyes stung as if they were burned by sunlight. "You... So you were together?"
Kyoya inhaled sharply, feeling a migraine forming. He brushed his bangs back with his fingers and wiped at the tears on his face with his sleeve, trying to get them to stop falling so he could recollect himself. He...He had actually needed a hug. He still needed one. He just wanted someone, his mother-even his sister, to hug him close and never let go, to tell him everything would be alright. Kyoya felt like a little child who had broken their first bone. Who's favorite toy was taken away from them and to never be seen again.
But it wasn't that simple. The pain went so much deeper than that.
"Not..." He sniffled and scowled, feeling the bed shift from Tamaki's weight. "Not exactly. We were trying to keep it secret, make sure my father couldn't find out. She wasn't exactly rich or beneficial to the Ootori's in any way, shape, or form. My father would never have approved, Tamaki." The blonde sat next to him, his feet brushing against the carpeted floor, and after a moment of thought reached out and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him into a comforting embrace. "He knew along, I soon found out. She became an Hitachiin, someone who could be beneficial, and he...he warned me. I didn't understand it at all.
He knew everything, Tamaki. He knew how I felt about her, what she did to me, and he... he told me to end it, because she would end up hurting me. Damn it all. Fuck." He let out a string of violent curses, aiming them at the world and the fates and whatever god had brought Alex to him. "I let her get too close. I left myself vulnerable... and now... she made me feel human, damn it. I-I can't..." I can't live without her. Kyoya was half tempted to kill himself, just so he could stay with her. A lover's suicide, he supposed. One-sided perhaps, but it would be out of love. A ridiculous notion of course, but it didn't mean he didn't want to. "I..." He inhaled sharply, and remembering the end of the message he received from her, said as the ache in his chest grew almost unbearable, "I love Alex."
"Kyoya..." Tamaki sounded surprised, then grew sympathetic and hugged him. Kyoya didn't make any sounds, any cries, didn't make a peep, but he could feel the cold tears falling one by one, unwilling to spare him and show mercy. It just hurt. It just so much.
All the puzzle pieces had clicked together at this point.
"I-I was going to ask her properly, h-have her..." He ditched most of the guards and had Tachibana with him only for advice, seeing as the older man was happily married with children and knew more about love and marriage than Kyoya himself did. He had planned to propose and keep her to himself, by his side, for as long as they both lived. Seeing as she was an Hitachiin her father probably would have agreed with the engagement, had Alex accepted, and Kyoya could finally have the one thing he wanted for himself. Alex. The clumsy, selfless, moronic, sarcastic, beautiful, intelligent, idiot that she was. He curled his hands into fists, squeezing his eyes shut.
Nothing, not once in his life had Kyoya Ootori have anything that he truly wanted, to go as planned. Everything had to be calculated, performed to perfection, not a single mistake. He had to exceed his brothers in everything: in school, in smarts and talent, in connections with people... He finally found something. He finally wanted something. He was so close to obtaining it, his fingertips just barely brushing against it, and now she was being ripped away from him and there was nothing he could possibly do to save her.
Kyoya was completely useless.
Tamaki said nothing, knowing how it felt to have a loved one get so sick they could almost die. He had no idea how his mother was faring in France, and Alex... he had no idea she was suffering so much, no idea Kyoya was in so much pain. No idea that he loved Alex, that the two had been "together". Alex is...dying? It still seemed as though his brain didn't want to process it. His family... Tamaki's family was being ripped apart again. Torn to shreds.
Kyoya tensed, feeling someone's eyes on him. Someone who wasn't Tamaki. Opening his eyes he slowly lifted his gaze, not moving an inch from his position, to see a transparent figure staring at him. Her eyes fluttered closed sorrowfully as she lowered her head, before looking up at him with a tiny smile, mouthing something.
His eyes widened. He knew who that figure was. At least, he was fairly certain he did. Alex had told him once before who it was, only ever mentioning her, saying that she looked just like her only with a few differences.
But Alex was wrong. This girl looked nothing like her. Alex was far more beautiful.
"It'll be alright," Akari mouthed, before vanishing once Kyoya blinked. Alright... how could anything be alright. Unless...
Alex described herself as selfish and immature, Akari a selfless idiot. Kyoya thought it was the other way around, Alex always risking her life to protect everyone-even random strangers. People she had never met. The old woman she fought a robber for which in turn caused her to get run over by the twins' limo, and for Kaoru whom she didn't even know at the time, jumping in front of him and taking a bullet to the shoulder despite her already badly injured state. Haruhi, who she died saving, and was only brought back thanks to Kyoya.
Alex was utterly stupid and insane and selfless, and out of what he heard of Akari... that girl was selfish. Selfish because all she cared about was repaying some debt to Alex. Selfish because she took everything away from Alex because she wanted to live again.
But Kyoya had to thank the girl. It was because of her that he met Alex in the first place. He also had to hate her, because she made him meet Alex and fall in love with her, and now Alex was dying because of she was still living. The world seemed out for Alexandria, unwilling to let her live. If she didn't get sent here to this dimension, she'd be six feet underneath ground. If Hikaru and Kaoru weren't the ones who found her and they didn't bring her to the hospital, she'd be dead still. If Mitsukuni hadn't been there with Alex at the resort, she'd be dead from water inhalation. And, once again, if Kyoya didn't wake her up and perform CPR when he did (despite how close of a call it had been) he'd probably be standing at her grave by now.
And, for the last time... the final time, she was truly dying. Nothing could be done this time. They used every single card they had. The cards that they held.
What was Akari planning? Kyoya could only wonder as he closed his eyes, finding comfort in Tamaki's embrace. An image of Alex smiling flashed through his mind, Kyoya remembering the way the sun hit against her eyes and made them look like the color of warm milk coffee...
"You are the most beautiful thing I keep in my heart."
Listening to "Sharing the same sky (Dearly beloved)" remix on soundcloud while writing this... oh gods the feels. Well, there we have it. Kyoya had went shopping with Tachibana for a ring, to properly "ask" Alex. However, things took a turn for the worst in his perspective...
I might put a poll up for who Akiko should end up with. "Kaoru" or "Hikaru". The names would probably be "Akaoru" and "Akihika". Well, read and review, peoples. I luvvles you all ~! (Holds hands up with while making the heart sign) I changed the story title to fit with the plot line better, considering the turn of things, so instead of Beauty is Overrated, it is now Love Me Till The End. A bit more tragic and interesting, isn't it? I'm so mean...