Hello!

Long time no see! I am so sorry this chapter has taken me so long to upload. I have been poorly this week and thus my writing time has been cut down drastically. This chapter is a small one but I hope you like it. :)

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Chapter 30: Colonels and Motherhood

I do not quite know what was inside that envelope from the Bishop but whatever it contained must not have been anything good. I made my way out of Sir Integra's office and continued down the corridor to the kitchen.

I sat for a while leaning against the kitchen counter, nursing a mug of blood. Sir Integra had not been pleased about the letter, she had read it over and rushed to make call after call – I thought it best to leave her to her tasks for the time being, when I return in a few moments with her tea she would be able to explain the situation.

I sighed as I took a sip of the blood, I had got used to drinking blood at this point. I thought it would be revolting to the tongue but to my surprise it was sweet, delicious in fact. Yes, some types of blood appealed to me more than other for example, the current bag of blood was marked as B type blood which was slightly more sweet than the A type and not as tangy as the 0 type blood.

I was troubled, I had to admit. Over the last year I had been on a fair few missions across Europe. Sir Thomas had decided that we were to branch our services into certain countries across Europe and the commonwealth.

The missions felt very familiar – not in the sense that they were all the same. No they were all different in nature but a number of demons had been found wearing the symbol of a coven. This coven we did not know the name of – nor what they wanted, Sir Integra still held the pendent in her office cabinet. I was starting to think some of these attacks were planned by something more sinister than mere demons.

I flicked my tongue across the rim of the mug and turned around and placed the mug into the sink. Leaning back on my elbows, I tiled my head back and thought back to older times. I would reminisce about the past a lot as of late, it gave me something to do. I had time now to contemplate and think over my human life – from my boyish childhood to my evolution into the creature I was now.

I remembered the first time I had come to the Hellsing Manor. I was only young – eight at the time I believe. Lord Hellsing's men has caught me fighting outside one of London's brothels – Lord Hellsing a young man at the time came out into the street to bring a few of the nicer women home with him. He found me fighting some of his bodyguards – I thought he was going to shoot me like a stray dog. He didn't. In fact he took me in on the spot – boarded me in the Hellsing Manor and sent me to school. I trained up over the years under Mr Warren my mentor – the late Hellsing Butler. He was like a father to me until the day he died.

In time I joined the ranks of the Hellsing soldiers – I learned how to use my wires, they were my pride and joy. Slowly training myself to build and create weapons for the Hellsing Organization I soon surpassed the previous technicians, my wires became more lethal the more I worked on them. Starting off as metal ropes, then they became smaller, thinner, more precise and easier to conceal.

I had met the Vampire Alucard when I was ten; he kept himself to himself most of the time but he was a smug creature, shifting his form from male to female from old to young, he would try to scare me and a few times he managed to unnerve me but after time his games stopped and we developed an understanding.

I will never forget the day I met Avery; she was always insistent that she did not remember our first meeting. Maybe she just brushed me off because I was practically a child at the time – somewhere inside I liked to think she did remember out first meeting. Avery was working for the US military for a time – she was one of the officers that had visited the Hellsing Manor in the early 40s, dressed in military uniform she had waltzed into Lord Hellsing's office and tore him a new one.

He had been with a group of his whores; he should have been working on the tactical mission for the attack on Warsaw but he was getting rather distracted with the whiskey and the cigars and the blonde tarts. I should not have seen half of the things that I did at the age of thirteen, but then again I was smoking and had killed more than my fair share of demons at that age. I thought I was a man in a boy's body – My God was I wrong.

I had been the one to answer the door to Avery and the two officers when she arrived; we were told that the Colonel would be visiting but we had been given no fixed date. I opened the door expecting an old man of some kind, this person was supposed to be a Colonel after all. I felt a smile cross my lips as I thought on how much of a young fool I must have made myself out to be. My thirteen year old self, standing at the Hellsing front door – eyes widened in shock as Avery and the two men stood on the other side of the door. I remember thinking I had died and gone to heaven, never before had I seen a woman that was so beautiful, I must have been standing there in silence for too long – cigarette hanging from my mouth like some kind of mackerel fish. The beautiful woman just raised her eyebrow at me and walked into the manor leaving me holding the door like a fool.

I had followed the three officers up to Lord Hellsing's room – at the time I remember wondering how this woman knew where my Master was. I tried to slow them down and diverting them but to no avail - I remember trying to stand in front of the Colonel but she did something to my mind – I don't remember what she said or did but after that I just followed them quietly and watched the scene unfold in front of me.

"Lord Hellsing I assume? Do you make it a priority to entertain such lovely women?" Avery said a she made her way into Lord Hellsing's bedroom. My Master yelled in shock and pulled on his night robe quickly wrapping himself with it and walking over to the Colonel. I don't recall ever seeing Lord Hellsing look as confused, aroused and embarrassed all at the same time. The whores had let out a small scream and left the room quickly clutching the remained of their clothes as they ran down the halls out of the way of any conflict.

"Walter! What is the meaning of this? You should have sent out guests to my office – we do not do business in my bedroom." Lord Hellsing shouted at me as I walked into the room still red in the face. "My deepest apologies my Lord Hellsing, I did try to stop them." I said with a bow as I stared at the dark haired woman who stood in front of me. Her back was turned to me, her hair pinned back into tight bun – the US military had done one thing right in this war and that was the choice of uniform for their females. I stared quite brazenly at her bottom which clung to the fabric of her skirt and felt my trousers tighten slight – fuck all my damn hormones!

"I am sure it is customary for the guests to be offered a drink by their host Lord Hellsing or is that not the convention anymore?" The colonel purred as she sat herself down on one of the armchairs in the bedroom. Lord Hellsing had collected his clothes from the room and changed into his suit – the two officers looked away as my Master changed quickly without shame. Avery of course did not blink at the display which shocked me – most women of this time would have died to be caught in this situation. Of course, Avery didn't care she had seen enough naked men to not be at all bothered by the spectacle.

"Yes, my apologies my dear…" I watched as my Lord took a seat in the chair opposite the Colonel who looked over the women with keen eyes. The two officers stood behind the female officer and kept watch – I never found out if they were her guards or not they certainly acted like it.

I watched as the dark haired woman straightened up and narrowed her eyes at my Master. "It's Colonel my Lord Hellsing and I do not partake. Nevertheless, I am sure my two officers here would not say no to a tipple - that is if the child can manage to tear his eyes away from my breasts for a moment." She chuckled as she looked and her golden eyes met my own – I stood like a fool for a moment before Lord Hellsing sent me to carry on with a few tasks. I was no good to him being a overly hormonal mess.

I took out a cigarette from my jacket pocket and held it between my lips and lit it. I thought back on that time, as a naïve thirteen year old boy I smoked, I had been smoking for decades and not once in all those years did Avery let me finish a damn cigarette. Not even on our first meeting…

I remember escorting the three officers out of Hellsing once their meeting had come to its conclusion. I waited outside with them as their car pulled up the drive and pulled out a cigarette and began to take a few long puffs - trying to calm myself from the afternoon's embarrassment.

I remember nearly swallowing my cigarette as Avery walked over to me, leaned down slightly she stroked the side of my face as she took the cigarette from my lips. "You know child – smoking is a filthy habit. It will make you age too fast – you don't want to lose that fetching face of yours do you?" She purred to me as I stood in shock, not having figured out how to use my mouth properly. She smirked at me I was a blushing mess as she placed a kiss on my cheek and then made her way to the car without another word I stood there in disbelief blinking rapidly as I tried to figure out what had just happened.

I remember never having been so mortified or aroused in my entire life; I don't think I made the best first impression on my love but she certainly left her impression on me. I was smitten from that day forward – it was nearly thirty years until I saw her again. Needless to say that at that time, no one thought that anything would happen between the both of us, I was just a child – she was something else…from that day I promised myself if I would ever settle with a woman it would be her, even if I had to wait all my life I would.

The one thing I remember asking her many years later – Why did she align herself with America during the war? A demon should have no interest in such things. Her response –she had lost a bet with another demon so he got to choose who she aligned herself with for the world wars they both knew they wouldn't die so he chose the US forces for her to join and he joined the Nazi army as an interesting twist. Avery had no moral compass – she was a demon and I knew that. Still to this day it makes me laugh that a demon would fight against the Nazi forces purely down to losing a bet.

I shook my head and pushed myself up from the kitchen counter – the kettle had boiled and I needed to bring the tea up to Sir Integra. I shook the memories from my mind and decided to carry on with the task at hand.

Avery POV

Oh God I kissed him…I kissed Alexander Anderson…and I enjoyed it. Oh God no! This is not good, not good at all – I can't just go around kissing people – that's not how it works now, I am human. I can't even feed from humans anymore so I have no reason to be kissing people….especially not Alexander fucking Anderson. Oh Sir Integra must be spinning in her and Walter…Oh god…Walter…it's him who I should be kissing not fucking Iscariot priest Alexander Anderson! What was I doing?!

I felt so guilty, I had tried to avoid thinking about my late lover but every now and again the grief would come in waves. I still couldn't believe that he was gone and I never got to tell him how I really felt about him. He was my best friend, my rock for decades, he made me feel more human than anyone else had – I didn't understand, I didn't understand at all, why did he have to leave me alone. I hated him for it! He promised me he wouldn't leave me alone….not until he really had to and dying in a fire in London was a poor way to go. He was worth more than that kind of death – they all were worth more than that.

It took me nearly forty years to admit I had any real feelings for the Hellsing butler and in the space of a year I was already caught up in this mess with the Bayonet Priest – I swallowed hard and slowly made my way down the corridor, my side ached and my legs shook underneath me with every step I took.

I was so tired, my body really did not like me using the Grimoire – maybe I just needed to practise more, maybe one day I could control it. Maybe it was better that Walter was gone…if he had to see me like this I am sure he would be disappointed. I was a shell of the demon that he had come to attach himself to, he wouldn't even recognize me if he saw me now. I was pathetic – if a little German woman was able to drag me to the ground I was not worth my salt.

Everything was changing, it was all happening to quickly – I had only just started to get used to my humanity, I was starting to behave normally, I ate food – all be it strange according to anyone that dined with me. I was starting to feel like I was worth a little bit more than what I had thought.

Why had I told him everything? Alexander Anderson was my enemy – in a different life he was the thing I hated, he was a solider of God come to kill me and my kind for the sake of one little book. Why now, after all this time – after all the time Walter had pleaded with me to tell him about my past – why had I hid it from him, the man I loved and told the man who I hated, the man who was my enemy – I could pour out my soul to the priest but not the man I thought I loved. I was so confused – I thought he would have killed me on the spot.

After hearing about my past– the horrid things I had done over the years, it would make hardened criminals sick, I was a monster and how could anyone be expected to love a monster?

After limping my way down the corridor, I managed to arrive at my bedroom door, as I pulled the door open I was pushed to the floor by a very over excited young boy. Landing on my back with a thud I took a deep breath and coughed, looking down I saw Marcell had wrapped himself around me in a tight hug. I chuckled and then winced as I hugged Marcell tightly. Little Sarah had pushed herself onto her feet and shuffled her way over to us; falling down onto her bottom with a giggle I took hold of the blonde girl with my free arm and stroked her head. I smiled down at the two children and sighed in relief they were alive, they were alright.

I was pulled from my happy place by a rude cough from a nun who stood with her arms crossed in the middle of the room. I looked up at the young nun, Yumiko was harder to read that her blonde partner, I never knew if she was about to flip out at me or cry and run away blushing – today it seemed that she didn't want to say a word. She quietly left the room, stepping over the three off us on the floor and closed the door behind her.

With a groan I made an attempt to get off of the floor; Marcell took hold of Sarah and they made their way into my room and sat down on my bed. I pushed myself off of the floor and rubbed my side, I think Heinkel bruised something when she threw me against that bookshelf. Nasty German bitch, I would get even with her by the end of all of this.

Marcell must have seen me tending to my bruised ribs as he sat on the bed looking concerned as Sarah played on the mat with her toys. "Are you ok Nanny?" Marcell asked as I sat myself down next to him slowly trying not to make it obvious that my ribs were in as much pain as they were. Smiling down at the boy I tidy his hair up a little with my hands. "I am alright, how are you feeling sweetheart?" I asked as the boy sat and let me do his hair.

"I feel fine, that creature scratched me but now it had healed, both of us are not harmed. We feel great!" Marcell exclaimed happily as he stood from the bed and flung his arms out to show how he was not hurt at all. I felt my stomach drop as the boys big blue eyes filled with happiness – I could tell he was trying to be strong. No child could go through that ordeal and be alright.

I had to tell him what had happened to him, what they were becoming – they needed to know, they would feel the changed soon enough. It took time for a werewolf to adapt to their new physiology he would feel alright now, in time he would notice his temper being shorter, he would get faster, stronger…all things he needed to control.

"Come here sweetheart I need to talk to you about something important." I sighed sadly as I patted the bed next to me. Sarah continued playing on her mat quietly she was far too young to understand what was happening to her. This would be a good thing and a bad thing at the same time – the terrible twos would be something else.

Marcell plopped himself back onto the bed with a bounce making me wobble slightly. I leaned down slightly and looked at the little boy. I really didn't know how he was going to take the news. I was a little worried; I had grown to care for the small boy and the baby girl like they were my own. They had spent every day with me for the last year – it was only natural for me to become attached to the children.

I swallowed hard and tried to explain in the best way possible what had happened to the children. "Marcell you and little Sarah…you…when that creature scratched you…you're both…" I tried to get the right words out but something was stopping me, it was so much harder than I thought it would be. I just didn't want Marcell to have to go through the self doubt and self loathing that most demons and monsters do. He was too much of an angel to have had this happen to them – they both were. I felt myself welling up again; my breathing had become slightly slower as I tried to stop myself from getting to emotional about the situation. Why was I the person to tell the children what had happened?

I was pulled from my thoughts as Marcell placed a hand on my shoulder. He was trying to comfort me, this was all wrong – is should be the one to comfort the children not the other way around. I had to pull myself together for the children. "It's alright Nanny Avery. I know…I caught site of my fangs in the mirror when I went to the toilet." Marcell explained with a sad smile. I felt my heart break, he had to find out on his own – he must have been so scared. Why didn't Yumiko help him? Did she know that he knew?

Marcell POV

Poor Nanny Avery, I could see she was so upset. I hope she wasn't upset with me – I didn't mean to be a bad kid. I really didn't, I tried my hardest to be a good boy and to help protect Sarah from that monster. She wasn't mad at me was she? I began to panic a little as I watched her face get sadder and sadder.

"Marcell, the thing that attacked us in the classroom was a werewolf; a human that can transform into wolf whenever they want to – when the wolf scratched you it gave you the power to do that as well." Nanny Avery explained sadly as she looked at Sarah and I.

"Let me see your fangs Darling…" She whispered to me as she took my hand in hers. Was she crying? I tilted my head to try and see but I couldn't see as she wiped her eyes before I could check. I took a deep breath worried that I would scare Nanny Avery away – I hadn't shown anyone this before. I only learned how to do it this morning.

With a deep breath I felt my teeth form into sharper points, I ran my tongue over the tips and winced at the strange sensations. I looked up to Nanny Avery who did not react at all – I was shocked. Did I scare her that much? "Look at my nails; I can make them sharp too." I sighed sadly as I showed her my hands and watched her look at my hands as my nails grew into sharp points.

I felt myself getting more and more upset, Nanny Avery was the closest thing I had to a mother and she was not answering me. Was I a monster now? Did she hate me? Before I knew it the tears were rolling down my face and I was crying into my hands."I'm so sorry Nanny Avery, I am a monster!"

Avery POV

I watched in silence as the little boy showed me his fangs and his claws, it didn't scare me – of course I had seen worse. He was still harmless in the grand scale but I was devastated for the poor little boy and the baby girl it was not fair – they had no idea about what all of this meant.

I watched in horror as Marcell broke down into a tearful mess before my eyes. He thought he was a monster – he really thought that? Pulling the tearful boy into a tight hug I rocked him for a little while until he calmed down slightly. "No no no darling you are not a monster. You both have special new gifts now that is all." I tried to hardest to reassure him. It took a little while but he finally calmed himself down – with the new werewolf traits his moods would take some getting used to. "Am I going to Hell Nanny?" Marcel asked as I held him close letting him cry against my shoulder."No! Of course you are not!" I cried out as I hugged him tightly. Slowly he gained composure and stopped crying – he pulled away gently and sat looking down at his clawed fingers.

I sighed and took hold of his hands which shocked him, he looked over to me with his childlike eyes and smiled weakly as I wiped the wetness from his face with my sleeve making him laugh a little. "Now you listen to me, things will be a little different now – you may start to feel different, you may want to fight more. You will be a lot stronger so you have to be very careful not to hurt people when you play. You have to make sure you do not bite or scratch anybody or you will make them like you and there are only a few people that are allowed to be like you. Do you understand?" I explained softly to the child who nodded taking all the information in. I knew it was a lot for him to handle – it was a lot for me to handle and I was in my thirties when I become a demon all those years ago.

"Yes, I understand." Marcell said with a nod as his claws turned back into nails. I smiled down at the child and hugged him again making him laugh. "Do you want to ask me about anything?" I asked as I let the boy go and walked over to sit with Sarah who had started to fuss.

"Sister Yumiko and Heinkel said I couldn't see my friends anymore..." Marcell sighed sadly as he kicked his legs off of the side of the bed in frustration. I frowned as I leaned down and picked up the fussing toddler and bounced her in my arms – over the last year she had grown. When I met her a year ago she was only a few months old, a tiny baby girl – I had watched her grow up, take her first steps, her first words…she was like the daughter I missed out on seeing grow up. She reminded me of baby Integra – she was a cute baby growing up as well.

I sat myself on the chair at the end of my bed and started to fuss over the little girl as Marcell talked to me. "Marcell it is alright, you can see your friends in a couple of weeks – we just need to get you feeling better and you have practised your new powers more." I explained as I bounced the toddler on my knee making her giggle and clap.

Marcell shuffled down to the end of the bed so he could talk to me easier. I smiled over to the boy who seemed more relaxed now.

"You know Marcell, the both of you will develop these new powers soon – you don't have to hide them from me. You know that don't you? If you want to walk around with your fangs out or as a wolf you can it is not a problem. I won't be scared at all I will love you two the same as I always have." I said as I cuddled the blonde girl in my arms. I smiled as I watched the little boys face light up – all of a sudden he was beaming like nothing was wrong.

Marcell POV

She said she loved us! No one had every told me they loved me – not ever in all my life. How could they? I was an orphan – no one loved me. I had friends but they didn't love me. Nanny Avery had said she loved us. I jumped off of the bed and ran over wrapping my arms around the redheads' neck and squeezed her tightly.

Avery POV

I laughed as the young boy ran over and hugged me tightly; then I felt a little bit too constricted. Marcell's wolf strength was kicking in already and he was chocking me with his hug. I tried to breath in a little gasping for air I managed to choke out a few words. "Marcell sweetheart …too…tight…chocking." Marcell gasped and let go of my neck and began to cry again. I frowned as the two children began to cry – I didn't know what to do. Standing up I held the toddler against my hip and tried to calm her down as I made my way over to Marcell who was crying on the bed.

"I am a monster…" He sobbed into my pillow. I sat next to him and placed Sarah on my lap quietly and stroked his hair gently calming the boy down. "You are not a monster, you are different but that is good – I was different for years Marcell you know being different doesn't make you a monster – your choices make you a monster, as long as you make good choices you never have to worry about becoming a monster." I said softly as I stroked the boys brown locks.

"But Father Anderson said all monsters are enemies of God. I don't want to be an enemy of God. Does Father Anderson hate us now?" Marcell asked tearfully as he lifted his head up from the pillow. "No! He wouldn't have fought to save you if he did. He killed that werewolf; he saved both of your lives." I exclaimed as I thought back onto the battle.

"He did?" Marcell asked as he wiped his nose on his sleeve and rolled over to sit up. "Yes and he brought you back here to stay safe. You have to promise us something though Marcell. Your new powers, they have to stay a secret between us – only Sarah, Father Anderson and I can know or see you using your new powers do you understand?" I asked gently as the young boy nodded and sniffed.

"Yes Nanny Avery I understand. Can I ask you another question?" Marcell sniffed as he hugged his knees to himself. "Of course sweetie, what is it?" I asked as I placed Sarah on the bed and let her snuggle up between the two of us. "Now that Sarah and I are different…that means we will never be adopted doesn't it?" Marcel whispered sadly as he hugged his knees. I looked over at the little boy – shocked at his words. "Well, who would love us now we are monsters? No mother wants a monster for a child." He continued as he sniffed and wiped his nose.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, these two children were the sweetest little things I had ever come across and Marcell was worried that no one would ever love them? That no one would adopt them? I felt a pain in my chest; I didn't know what to do. I would adopt them both in a heartbeat but what could I offer them? I was a human, with nowhere to live, no money their lives would be no better than they were now. I had nothing to offer them…I couldn't be the mother they needed.

"Marcell, don't say that – you are a wonderful child. You are smart, you are kind and you have a good soul. People would have to be out of their minds to not want to have you as their son!" I exclaimed to the little boy who shook his head. "I have been in this place for as long as I can remember Nanny, if I was going to find a mother I would have by now." He said sadly, I bit down on my lip and held back the sadness which was forcing its way across my chest.

"You have everyone at the orphanage Marcell, the nuns they have looked after you…" I tried to comfort the boy to no avail. "Yes but I will never have a mother…Sarah will never have a mother now…" he sobbed as he began to weep again quietly.

My heart broke, I knew he was right – deep down I knew. They would never be allowed to go with human parents now not after this I knew Anderson would never allow it. It was too dangerous for all parties involved – they needed a parent like them and there was no demon on this planet that Anderson would ever trust with these children.

"You will have a mother Marcell you both will I promise you!" I hugged the little boy to my chest as he cried. Little Sarah had fallen asleep on the bed and was gurgling in her dreams happily oblivious to any of the situation surrounding her.

"I won't have a mother not now…who would want me as their son?" Marcell wept as he hugged me around the waist. I sat in silence for a moment and let the young boy cry – I had nothing to offer these children – but then again, I could love them as much as I could – would that be enough for them? What was better for them, a life without a parents love and them having to live their life in this orphanage? Or having a parents love but not being able to so the things families do? They would still be raised in the orphanage I had no money of my own; I had the allowance from working at the church that was it….what could I give them? "No one wants a monster for a child." Marcell said coldly as he wiped his eyes and turned away from me.

"I do." I said quietly as I looked down at the sleeping toddler. Marcell froze in the bed, I don't know if I upset him with my words. "What did you say?" He asked timidly as he turned around to face me again – his expression unreadable.

"I said I want you two little monsters." I said a small smile forming on my lips as the child's expression changed again. "If you would be happy to have me as a Mother, I would be honoured to call you my son."

Marcell POV

I couldn't believe my ears. Did Nanny Avery really just say what I thought I heard her say; I shuffled myself round on the mattress and faced the redheaded woman. I felt my heart begin to race in my chest – Did she really just say she would adopt us? I couldn't believe what I was hearing – I sat with my mouth open a little. I was in shock Nanny Avery smiled down at me. Did she really want to be my mother? I was a monster – surely she didn't want a monster child.

"Marcell, would you do me the honour of being my son?" Nanny Avery asked with a big smile on her face. I felt tears forming in my eyes and my heart began to race I wanted to laugh and cry and jump around I was so happy.

"Yes, yes, yes!" I shouted happily as I gave Nanny Avery another huge hug. I couldn't help myself I started to cry again. I was so happy – I had a Mother for the first time in my life. I had a Mother!