"We are all damaged in our own way; Nobody is perfect."

-Johnny Depp

Alex lost track of what day it was. Friday, Saturday? Maybe it was even Wednesday. She sat there in the corner of the room listening to Fuyumi hum, watching the woman try in vain in an attempt to shove clothes back into their drawers. "Hey, Alex-or sister, as I should be calling you now," Fuyumi giggled, smiling. Alex's lips twitched upwards slightly, a tiny feeling of warmth blossoming in her chest at the kind words, "what's your favorite song?"

"I'm... not sure," She said quietly, fiddling with jacket that was wrapped around her waist. Fuyumi had pulled her bangs out of her face and to the side, clipping them back. Some strands hung loosely against the sides of her face and in her eyes, and it wasn't until then that Alex noticed how long her hair had grown. "I guess... Thank You by Jason Chen... or maybe Marry Me by Jason Derulo."

"Oh, I never heard of Marry Me... how does it go?" Alex frowned, biting her lip. She wasn't sure if she remembered.

"I think... it's like, "one hundred and five is the number that comes to my head... when I think of all the years I wanna be with you. Wake up every mornin' with you in my bed... that's exactly what I plan to do." What were the rest of the lyrics? Alex couldn't remember. She skipped ahead to another part of the song and said, Fuyumi listening intently with closed eyes and small smile, "And you know one of these days when I get my money right-buy you everything and show you the finer things in life. We'll forever be in love, so there ain't no need to rush...but one day, I won't be able to ask you loud enough "will you marry me"?" Alex smiled, feeling like she was going to cry.

She used to have thoughts in her head of marrying Kyoya... she still does sometimes. She knew it wouldn't work out because of their social status differences, and since she was dying she figured she could let him go and make him forget about her-let him move on and find someone else to care about. Let him be happy.

Turned out that plan was a fail and Kyoya was just so keen on staying with her. God, she loved that man. Scary as all hell, manipulative, possessive, and competitive... but kind and sweet, and he was just Kyoya. Alex felt like laughing. The memory of when they first met Renge played in her mind and she remembered how Renge was spouting out things about how "caring" and "sweet" Kyoya was, and everyone was just at a complete and total loss. If she only added in the darker traits, the traits that made Kyoya him...

Her chest ached. It hurt so much, Alex almost thought the pain was physical. However, she knew fully well that it was emotional.

"It sounds like a pretty song, Alex," Fuyumi said, wearing what seemed to be a knowing looking smirk. Alex looked at her in confusion, not understanding completely what the double-meaning was. Her brain was too tired to try and figure it out. "You know... with you being a Hitachiin now, one of the more influential families, father might just let you and Kyoya be together. And we can't forget that he's the third son, which means he has the least responsibility of all." Fuyumi blinked away tears that were forming in her eyes, her hands clutching the clothes she was holding tightly. For so long Kyoya had been doing everything he could to be better than his brothers-to impress his father and make him decide to let Kyoya become the heir to the company.

Years of wearing a mask, years of never asking for anything, never letting himself be selfish and give in to his (in the past) childish desires; years of being the perfect child designed to own a company... building up his intelligence in all subjects and exhausting himself to the point of collapse and making himself sick from stress and overworking himself. And now that he has something he wants-something he truly, desperately wants-no, needs... it somehow just kept slipping right from his fingertips, the male reaching forward ever so stubbornly still-not giving in until he had obtained his prize; his prize which he loved with all his being. The prize that brought him, Kyoya Ootori, down to his knees in despair. The youngest of all, the most burdened and manipulative, conniving and overlooked, the most... kind out of Fuyumi's puppets of brothers.

Maybe it was Fuyumi's influence that kept from becoming a cold-hearted person like Akito, or even Yuuichi-who is stern, and can be harsh with words, but means well for trying to look out for his family. He was married after all, with a wife and two children, so he had to have some form of kindness inside of him. Fuyumi, in the end, was the one to look after Kyoya while he was growing up-Yuuichi and Akito off and away with their father on business trips while little Kyoya was left at the mansion alone with the servants and bodyguards. Fuyumi often visited, to the displeasure of her father who insisted she go home to care for the household, and tried constantly to guide Kyoya on the right path.

However, due to their mother always being gone, and their father always looking down on Kyoya, the young boy had to grow up by the time he hit eleven. He learned that he was always going to be last place in his father's eyes, looked down upon by Akito, and thus grew distant-reading book, after book, after book, and taking extra classes and lessons, and even getting multiple private tutors in order to help him get a higher and much better education. He was, after all, the third son. Third place.

Not once has his father even given praise; Yoshio never smiled, never pat his head and said "good job" or "you did well".

And for this you could say Fuyumi was highly protective of her baby brother (despite being nearly an adult, Kyoya was always going to be her baby-her child) and was more than grateful for when Tamaki appeared in Kyoya's life. He brought... life and challenge into Kyoya's existence. His eyes actually brightened since Kyoya and Tamaki formed the Host Club-since Kyoya had tried to "befriend" Tamaki only to be driven mad by him. Oh, Fuyumi could still remember the day he ripped the living room apart. He was so violent when his feelings burst out of the bubble he hid them in, needing something to punch or vent on.

But now... her baby boy was all grown up. He was smiling for the longest time during the past year, always when he thought no one was looking, and he'd often get this distant look in his eyes; Fuyumi knew that look. She herself wears that look frequently-the dreamy-eye look you get when you're thinking about someone you care deeply about... someone you love. She never pried, she never asked; Fuyumi just wanted this Kyoya to last-her brother was just so happy. Something must have finally gone right in his life...

...and then it happened. The phone call, Fuyumi finding out the person's name, the arrival to Karuizawa... Alex's death and revival, and the sacrifice of another. Everything had happened just so fast-Fuyumi still had trouble wrapping her head around it all. Kyoya, who had had his precious smile wiped off of his face, was sent spiraling into depression-having his heart torn out of his chest, stitched, crushed, and put back together again.

Alex stiffened, not knowing how to react when Fuyumi suddenly stopped what she was doing and moved over, hugging the young girl with her eyes squeezed shut. Fuyumi couldn't stop the tears-she was just so pained. Everyone... they were still so young, and to think they'd have to go through all of this?

The entire Host Club was on the verge of splitting up due to all the recent events; all the teenagers were picking sides and going against the one person who didn't do any wrong. Fuyumi had seen what had happened-she saw Alex fighting. She had seen Alex fighting desperately, screaming, crying, begging the stranger who looked so much like her to leave her be, to let Alex die. Alex knew from the start what that girl was planning and was trying to stop her-she had accepted her fate. Kyoya looked so broken when he thought Alex's heart had stopped...

"F-Fuyumi?" Alex stammered, blinking a couple times in confusion. She awkwardly raised her arms up and placed her hands on Fuyumi's back, asking, "What's wrong?"

Fuyumi shook her head, before slowly pulling away from Alex and cupping her face with her hands. Alex blinked again, completely lost and confused. Fuyumi's heart almost broke. The petite girl was still so young, but her eyes were so old... aged and tired, yet still glimmering with a child-like innocence and hope. Before they just looked completely lifeless...

This was Alex. This is the girl her brother wants to marry.

"Nothing is wrong, Alex. I just... want you to do me this one favor, alright?"

Alex furrowed her eyebrows together, opening her mouth and closing it-the scar on her jawline stretching as she jaw moved. She finally said, voice quiet, "O-Okay... what is it?"

"Make my brother happy. This..." Fuyumi closed her eyes and shook her head slowly, a sad smile stretching across her face. "I'm not even sure what happened down there, but... Neither of us, Kyoya or I, blame you for what happened." Alex's honey brown eyes widened, filled with guilt and sadness, protest against Fuyumi's words of it not being her fault.

Akari dying was Alex's fault; she should have tried harder.

But what could she have done? Alex had lost so much weight while she was sick-she still has trouble walking! She had no strength, no muscle or meat on her, nearly that resembling a skeleton. Alex had always risked her life for others without thinking about it, and now that someone had risked their life for hers... the guilt and pain was endless. Was this what she had put the twins through when they thought she drowned? Was this how Kyoya felt when he thought she died at the beach that day? Useless, hopeless, unable to save anyone...

If Alex had fought harder... if she was stronger-but she was too weak to even lift a finger. It felt almost alien just breathing normally again-her breath always having been irregular and painful, wheezing and coughing on a daily basis. Akari... why? Why would you do this?

Alex had to blink away the tears that were forming, inhaling deeply. Her chest hurt-a weight pressing down on it. She wasn't able to respond.

"Alex... that girl, she gave her life to save you-giving you another chance. Live your life to the fullest, and with the person you care about, okay?" Alex's bottom lip trembled, remembering back to the day in the rose garden when she promised Kyoya something similar. "Alex?"

She couldn't take it. So long-so long of keeping it bottled inside, so long of smiling and hiding the pain from everyone, crying herself to sleep; Alex felt like she was going to burst. "I-I can't-!" She pulled away from Fuyumi's gentle and motherly hold, practically screaming as she turned her side to Fuyumi and put her hands against her head, "I can't make anyone happy! I killed her! I'm hurting everyone and-and I-!" She choked, sobbing as she wiped frantically at the tears that were falling. She shook her back-and-forth, trying to find her voice as she broke down. "I-I try to help and-and I only hurt! You don't understand! I..." Her voice left, the girl shaking violently, sniffling multiple times and whimpering as she tried to stay quiet, but the pain and guilt being too much for her to bear.

She used to be only child, her parents despising her for being born a girl. She took refuge in the people she called siblings and friends-but now she can't even remember them; their faces, their names-the memories they shared together. They were all gone.

Ever since she arrived here in Japan, her memory of her past had been degrading, only ever able to remember the memories she made here-with family who cared and friends who noticed. Alex was never invisible here... but now all she ever wanted to do was hide.

She was a monster. A hideous, disgusting, murderer who hurt and betrayed the one person who mattered to her most. She had lied, thinking that he wouldn't find out and would no longer care about her, hoping that her actions would bring him a happy end even with her death. Instead it led to hurt and regret and despair.

He was crying over her. Alex. Ayumu Hitachiin.

"I hurt him, Fuyumi. I-I hurt Kyoya." The door opened just as she muttered those words, the stunned male standing there in the doorway with surprised eyes, a tray of food held in right hand. Alex barely turned her head before she froze, gray-violet meeting brown. Their eyes locked and Alex felt more vulnerable than ever in that moment, as if he had heard the entire conversation, seeing through her and into all her dark thoughts. Alex opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth, tense.

The atmosphere was heavy. Fuyumi stood and released Alex, looking between her and Kyoya, before quickly excusing herself out of the room and saying, "I'll let you two talk," quietly. Kyoya watched her leave out of the corner of his eye before locking the door-not wanting anyone to disturb their conversation- and set the tray of food on the nightstand.

Alex felt like a cornered animal at this point. She couldn't move-she was frozen in place.

Kyoya moved over to her calmly, kneeling down in front of her and placing a hand on the wall beside her head, keeping himself balance and Alex trapped in case she decided to run away. Their eyes met, and Alex was unable to divert her gaze thanks to the intensity of his stare. "How are you feeling?" He asked calmly, almost scaring Alex with how he was behaving. It had been a while since she saw him like this... since he had her cornered against a wall, ready to interrogate her for answers.

She swallowed thickly, feeling her heart pound loudly in her chest. She was so scared by his composed demeanor that she was about to start crying again. She awkwardly stammered, "I-I'm fine..."

He raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not believing her, and seemed to find her answer rather amusing. "Is that so? If that's the case..." Her left eye closed in response to his thumb brushing the tears off of her cheek. "Then what are these? Why are your eyes so red, Alex? You're not lying to me again, are you?" His voice deepened, sending both good and bad chills down her spine. It was almost as if she had been hit with electricity, an electric shock going throughout her whole body. Alex flinched.

She knew what Kyoya was doing. He was trying to manipulate her... play on her feelings and get her to react. "I..."

He grabbed her chin gently and lifted her head up, forcing her to look at him. Alex couldn't not-she hated it, but everything about Kyoya attracted her attention and despite not wanting to, she found herself meeting his gaze again. Another jolt. Something was squeezing her heart. It hurt. After a minute of having a staring contest, Kyoya sighed and closed his eyes. Alex stiffened and went complete still when he suddenly leaned over and rested his forehead against her shoulder, the male falling down to his knees and trapping her against him with both hands on either side of her on the wall. "...You really have no idea what it is you do to me, do you?"

She tried to ignore the lovely deep and low tone of his voice, and the smell of his hair. The fact that he was this close to her after so long... the fact that just looking at him or knowing he was near sent her heart dancing. Alex swallowed and lifted her head up, staring at him awkwardly out of the corner of her eyes. "Wh-What do you mean?" Alex wasn't sure of how to interact with people anymore, having spent so long away from the world. She sat there uncomfortably, trying not to move with Kyoya using her shoulder as a pillow.

Kyoya slowly raised his head, eyes half-lidded as he stared at her. Her breathing hitched, becoming slightly uneven. Alex's face turned a little red.

"K-Kyoya?"

"Alex..."

"Y-Yeah?"

His eyes were temporarily hidden by his glasses, something that caused goosebumps to run along Alex's arms. She repressed a shiver. His face was so close to hers. Alex briefly had a thought of closing the distance and kissing him- missing his touch, his warmth, his care... but resisted. It wasn't the time or the place, and... she had hurt him. In ways unimaginable. Alex didn't deserve him. She was far too horrible a person. Alex squeezed her eyes shut, trying to rid her mind of the cruel thoughts. Ever since Akari's death, her mind has just been tormenting her, refusing to relent and show mercy.

She felt something soft press against her forehead and her eyes shot open in surprise, stunned.

Kyoya's nose brushed against hers lightly, and she could just barely feel his glasses touching her skin. "I'm not ever going to let you leave my side again." Alex was speechless. "Alex Connors... Ayumu Hitachiin..." He addressed her by both of her names and Alex watched, almost alarmed, when he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small box, opening it and revealing a small golden ring with a tiny amethyst in the middle, "Will you marry me?"

"I..." She didn't know what to say. What could she say? Her face then twisted into that of conflict, eyebrows furrowing and bottom lip sticking out in both a frown and a pout. "Why... How am I supposed to answer that?" Her voice trembled, but Kyoya's gaze did not waver. He did not close the box or lower his hand, he did not move away. He stayed in place, confident and stubborn. "I... I hurt you and... why? Why would you ask me that after everything I put you through?" She looked ready to cry again. This whole... however long it had been, has been just one emotional rollercoaster after the next and now-now this... She was happy, but... How? Why? After all she did... "Why-Why would even consider..." Her voice cracked, "Why would you even considering marrying... me?"

"Is it that hard to figure out, Alex?" Kyoya asked, despite knowing why she was responding this way. And once again... a small smile formed, loving and heartbreaking at the exact same time. Kyoya had told these words to Tamaki when he admitted his feelings for Alex, left in a fit of rage and despair. Admitting them to her in person was a whole different story, but they needed to be said. Kyoya had waited far too long to say them, and because of that they were in this situation now. Broken... pained... in despair. Clinging to another one desperately all the while pushing each other way, wanting to trust but being unable. Kyoya cupped her face with his hands, knowing that once he said this the deed would be done, and neither would be able to go back.

This stupid girl had stripped Kyoya of his mask completely, leaving him vulnerable and exposed to the world-overflowing with these huge flurry of emotions. Sometimes it was suffocating, but... he wouldn't trade for anything. He felt horrible, but if Akari hadn't done what she did Kyoya wouldn't be with Alex now...

"I love you."

Alex's heart nearly stopped. She had always wanted to hear those words come out of his mouth, but had come to accept the reality that they never would. And now... A new wave of tears fell, these ones happy, and a shaky smile spread across Alex's lips as she tried to wipe her tears away. Why-Why is it only after all this... torture does good things happen?

Everyone hated her now, and yet... Kyoya still accepted her. Even after all she did. After she put him through so much pain. Alex was a horrible person and yet... "I-I love you, too, Kyoya." She met his gaze, trembling, and gave a warm smile.

With that, Kyoya knew her answer. Alex had said all he needed to know.

He pulled the ring out of the box and grabbed her hand, gently sliding it onto her ring finger. Alex watched, almost entranced by the new promise, and once the ring was on completely Alex didn't bother wasting another second and leaned forward, grabbing onto Kyoya's sleeve and pulling him closer to her as she kissed him. Kyoya's rested a hand on one of her knees, his other resting gently on the back of her head.

The kiss stayed innocent for a few moments, before desire took over and the kiss deepened. Kyoya had pulled his glasses off during this, resting them in his shirt pocket. "You are mine, Alex..." He whispered, voice low as they broke apart. Alex's face was already flushed, but turned even redder at his words. "And...," His own face turned a little pink as he admitted, "you're worth the trouble."

Alex couldn't help but grin a little at his words, touched. She said, "Careful-you're giving me blackmail here, Kyoya."

"The only blackmail you have is the ring on your finger."

"Exactly." The cheeky grin spread across her face and Kyoya smirked, loving the sight. Warmth blossomed in his chest and his heart beat a little faster. As annoying as these feelings used to be, Kyoya accepted them. He wanted them to last. Kyoya tucked some stray hairs behind Alex's ear, leaning forward and kissing her on the tip of the nose. She blinked and her face went an even darker shade of red.

Kyoya wasn't hiding his amusement anymore. He cupped her chin and lifted her head up, bringing their faces close and saying in a deep voice, "But I still have even more ways to get to you if you attempt to blackmail me, isn't that right?" He purred at her, giving a shit-eating-grin. Her face-Alex's face went so red Kyoya almost thought she was going to faint. She was just too cute.

She stammered incoherently, trying to come with a response but the words dying on her lips.

"I know all of your weak points, darling." No sound came out of her, her jaw merely dropping as her eyes went wide as dinnerplates. Oh, Kyoya was loving this. How long he sought to see that expression again-her smile, her eyes, her childish pout... Her look of being completely dumbstruck. "You wouldn't want to get on my bad side, now would you? Just think of the punishment."

Kyoya was being completely innocent, but knew from the mere look on Alex's face that she was thinking something else. He was using her dirty mind to his advantage-payback for everything she made him feel during her time sick. He may love her, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want some revenge now and then.

He kissed her once more, thoroughly, and by the time he pulled away Alex could barely breathe. He decided to stop teasing her for now, not wanting her to actually pass out.

And for now, just for a little while, they managed to forget about everything that made them hurt. Being here, together, as an actual couple instead of some secret that had to keep... they were the only ones in the world at that moment. It wouldn't last, but it was happiest moment they had since all of this had started.

"Nothing is more beautiful than a real smile that has struggled through tears."