Really Good Fanfiction Chapter 3: Infiltration

Alphys sat in the hideout theatre, enlightening Terezi on the absolute disgrace to film that is Mew Mew Kissie Cutie 3. Dave sat nearby, pretending to listen. Nicholas Cage and Peridot discussed the ethics of fusion. They were waiting for the repair of Shadow's motorcycle, so they could all drive to Bill Gates' lair.
Before the last battle, Alphys had planted a tracking chip on Sonic, so they now knew that Bill Gates resided in the perilous land of DENMARK. A knock sounded from behind the crowd, and they all turned to find that Sans had returned.
"alright guys, the motorcycle's as good as new," he said. The gang jumped up and marched outside to find the motorcycle seated by the entrance. It was as if it had never been damaged in the first place.
"WOW, TH4T'S 4LOT OF DUCT T4P3!" piped Terezi.
"yep. i'd say it's quite a THIGHT." retorted Sans. Papyrus groaned.
"So, uh...Anyone know how to drive that thing?" asked Alphys. Nicholas cage hopped onto the motorcycle.
"Let's go." he said. Everyone hopped onto the motorcycle and they drove off. The wind cut through their skin as they steadily quickened. The streets of Washington spread out across their vision while the sound of everything in the world filled their ears.
"hang on to your hats, gentlemen," said Sans, "things are about to SKELEscalate." Sans leaned forward,
enhancing his grip on the handles. The motorcycle was going so fast that it began to lift off the ground.
Alphys shrieked. The vehicle was moving so quickly that it did not need wings to stay afloat. The gang arrived in Denmark in a matter of minutes. The group held their breath as the motorcycle slowed down. At this point,
the city of Denmark was laid out two thousand feet below them. G-forces flew as the bike hurtled toward the ground at speeds never seen before by man or monster or troll or gem or anything, really. Fortunately, Silver used his powers to stop the fall before they landed. Unfortunately, most of the team had passed out from the G-forces save for Silver, Sans, and Papyrus.
"ARE MY FRIENDS OKAY!?" shouted Papyrus.
Silver checked their pulses.
"Well, they're still brea-"
"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SAVE YOU!" interrupted the skeleton. He proceeded to perform CPR on Alphys' unconscious body. Silver sighed. They appeared to have landed in the middle of a field on the outskirts of Denmark County. Skyscrapers towered over the horizon. A grand uproar could be heard even at this distance. Silver was captivated by the city's beauty. Even after all this time, Silver was still used to seeing nothing but fire and death wherever he went.
"somethin' wrong?" asked Sans.
"I'm just...reminiscing," answered the psychic.
"i remember when i first came here," said Sans,
"Ronald McDonald was quite the tough one, wasn't he?" replied Silver. As you should know by now, Sans was unlucky enough to reach the surface world during Ronald McDonald's reign of terror in 2015 (See Appendix A).
When Sans met Silver, they were only able to beat Ronald through the sacrafice of Sans' genetic clone sister (See Appendix B). It was after Ronald was defeated that Sans was invited to join the Resistance. Frisk also wanted to join, but Toriel wouldn't stand for it.
Two months before the Mecha Hitler incident, Sans was visited by Hyper Darkspine Harry Potter before his untimely death. Harry told Sans of his suspicions that Bill Gates wasn't the real culprit behind all of the attacks.
It was on this very subject that the skeleton contemplated.
"silver, do you ever wonder why Bill Gates would do all of this?" asked Sans.
"Obama believes that he wants to become king of America." replied Silver.
"that sounds pretty BONEfarious, but something tells me there's more to this than we think. eh, who cares."
"Perhaps."
Alphys stumbled over, flushed like a toilet. Papyrus came too.
"I DID IT! I SAVED ALPHYS!" yelled Papyrus.
"U-uh, Papyrus, that's not how you d-do CPR..." said Alphys, "You're supposed to p-push on the chest a few times in between the breaths, and u-uh, I wasn't really having cardiac arrest. T-thanks, I guess."
"Are the others awake yet?" inquired Silver.
"Yeah, We think B-Bill Gates is to the North." replied to lizard. Silver locked his gaze to the North and saw a gigantic Scandinavian castle. It stretched higher than the clouds and was painted with camo to deflect the pedestrian's gaze. Fortunately, Silver had CamoVision™.
"We'd better hurry up then. Sonic will be brainwashed soon." stated the hedgehog. Dave, Karkat, Terezi,
Sollux, and Nicholas Cage caught up with the rest and they set off.
Meanwhile, at Bill's castle, Sonic sat alone in his holding cell. He remembered nothing that had happened since his capture; he just woke up. Sonic assumed he was at Bill Gates' lair, and his theory was confirmed once Brainwashed Markiplier entered the cell with a whip in hand.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen! Markiplier here," said he, "and today I'm going to play Sonic Brainwashing Simulator 2017!" Sonic tucked himself away in the corner and tried to mentally prepare himself for the proceeding events. Markiplier closed in.
"Swear allegiance to Bill Gates, hedgehog, or I will be forced to use this whip in ways that you will not enjoy," said the Youtube man.
"Ha! You think you can threaten me? I'll never work with someone so scrupulously evil!" retorted Sonic.
He spin-dashed across the room and hit Markiplier with full force. His eye was knocked right out of its socket and blood flew from the wound like an escaping convict high on meth. Markiplier screamed and fell over,
unprepared for such a rebellion.
Unfortunately for Sonic, Mark's scream was heard by the nearby guards who scurried into the scene.
Into the battlefield entered Donald Trump and Brainwashed Senator Armstrong. Sonic was cornered! There was absolutely no way he could take them both at once. There really was no hope for Sonic. He was doomed.
He was a mouse in a mouse trap. Absolutely nobody could save Sonic at all. Then all of a sudden, Cirno's theme began to play softly in the background.
The soldiers and Donald Trump gasped in shock and awe. Before them had arrived the esteemed figure of legend: It was I, THE GLORIOUS AUTHOR, here to save the day.
"Worry not, pally, I will save you." I said. The senators charged at me, but then I turned Super-Saiyan and pushed them back with the power of my manly chest. Sonic fled from the scene. My saiyan might was too strong for the daring public officials. Donald Trump fell to his knees and begged for mercy.
"Your crimes against our people are great," I said, "but even though you're a BIG MEANIE, I shall spare you."
I began to walk away to free the other prisoners, but Donald Trump shot me in the back! It made me so angry that I turned Super Saiyan 87 and ripped his head off. Brainwashed Senator Armstrong charged at me with full force and I lept up and crushed his head in between my thighs. Nanomachines fled from his wound as I dragged the two headless corpses into the cell and closed it. But then it occurred to me: There are children in Africa who haven't played Undertale yet! I just couldn't let this stand, so I flew away to enlighten the famished foreigners.
Meanwhile, Silver and cohorts had just entered the building. The scent of oppression filled their noses as they took in the grand atrium. The floors and ceilings shined hard enough the reflect the crew perfectly. All of the furniture was at a four inch margin from the walls. It was almost too perfect.
"i thought this place was supposed to be secret," Sans said, "who's he tryin' to impress here?"
"He's probably trying to convince us that this place isn't so bad, so we'll let our guards down," said Peridot.
"Look!" said the Nicholas Cage, "it even has a McDonalds."
"not as good as grillby's, but i feel like taking a break." said Sans.
"Guys! Aren't we trying to save someone from being brainwashed!? Come on!" shouted Silver.
"INDEED," said Papyrus, "I WILL CHECK THE BATHROOMS!" Papyrus went into the men's room and returned seconds later. "SONIC IS NOT IN THE BATHROOM. I REPEAT, HE IS NOT IN THE BATHROOM!"
"I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU GUYS HATE SPLITTING UP, BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY SPLIT UP," said Karkat.
"Good idea. My Sonic could be getting brainwashed as we speak!" added Peridot.
"Karkat, Terezi, Sollux, Dave, Nicholas, you're going East," said Silver, "let's move."
And then they moved.
Meanwhile, Sundowner and Monsoon were still trapped in their cells. Sundowner was gnawing on the doorknob out of frustration. Suddenly, Nicholas Cage and the rest of his group approached.
"Yeah! Just like the good old days after 9/11!" shouted Sundowner.
"So, uh, " said the Cage, "anyone know how to pick locks?"
"BACK ON ALTERNIA, WE JUST KILLED WHOEVER CAME INTO OUR HOUSES," said Karkat, "WE REALLY HAVE NO IDEA."
All of a sudden, Brainwashed Kanye West entered the room.
"Woah, we got some intruders!" he shouted.
A couple more guards hurried into the room.
"Hey, hey, we can talk this out", said Dave.
"How about this: I challenge you, Kanye, to a rap battle. The winner gets to leave the room alive." Even though all of Bill Gates' brainwashing had desensitized Kanye to his desires, one desire held strong: the desire to rap.
"Let's do this," he said.

RAP BATTLE START!
Kanye: You've no idea how long I've been waiting! These dank rhymes don't even deserve any rating.
Dave: Exactly! There can't be a -5 outta ten, my rhymes can't be topped by any number of men.
Kanye: Your points are mute, I'm the one with the kush. You're a filthy amateur, so you can talk to the bush!
Dave: I'm the better of us two, you're just chock full of salt, and if you're on the floor cryin' it ain't my fault!
Kanye: Don't you see you're just wastin' yo time, I'm the best of the best, this whole battle is mine!

And so they continued for quite some time. Meanwhile, Silver and etc. went to the West wing of the fortress.
Frantic screaming could be heard at the end of the dim hallway, whose walls adorned the livers of those slain.
"WHAT ARE THOSE?" inquired the Great Papyrus.
"I'm not sure! I think it's what the humans use to pee!" shouted Peridot.
"Man, I wish Nicky was still here. He knows these things," she added. Familiar footsteps were heard in the distance.
"Sonic!" shrieked Peridot.
"OH. IT'S THE BLUE ONE." mumbled Papyrus.
"Shadow should be around here, Papyrus." said Silver.
"i'd say his whereabouts are a bit SHADY." Sans grinned. Before Papyrus could do anything drastic, Sonic spoke up.
"Guys! We don't have much time! Undyne's right behind my fighting off a bunch of guards; you've gotta help us!" The crowd rushed toward the action, save for Sans.
"sorry guys, i'm a bit too tired from yesterday," he lied, "i'm gonna find some more help."
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT SANS WAS UP TO SOMETHING SPOOKY!
Meanwhile, back with Dave, the battle continued.

Dave: Oh my, my, would you look at the time. You're persistent, but you can't even out-rap a mime.
Kanye: Uh...Your shoes are untied...
Nicholas Cage: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH SNAP!
Kanye cried out in frustration. He took out his tazer and electrocuted himself. His body-gaurds left the room.
"WOW. THAT MIGHT JUST BE THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN." groaned Karkat. Sollux knelt down next to Kanye's corpse.
"Hey! He ha2 the key2 to the cells!" he observed. Sollux freed the former World Marshall mercenaries.
"Finally! I don't think I could've stood any more of that rapping!" said Sundowner.
"It was...interesting, I'd say." replied Monsoon.
Meanwhilewhile, Sans the skeleton was creeping through the hallway that deviated from the room the other fighters were participating in unarmed combat inside of. The hallway was devoid of all things, including a good source of light. Sans handed himself a flashlight from the inside of his ribcage and began his trek. Every step the spooky skelebro took felt like it took ages. For some reason, he could hear absolutely nothing outside of the tunnel.
If there was any place Bill Gates would be hiding, it was here. Sans' hands were shaking violently. A single door marked the end of the hallway. It didn't have windows. Sans felt like he didn't WANT it to have windows. A jolt of panic penetrated his skull. Is Papyrus okay? Silver wouldn't let anything happen to him, right? Reluctantly, Sans turned his back on the door. The mystery can be solved some other time. However, the door opened behind him.
"So...We meet again." Sans turned around and gasped. The door was ajar, and standing within its dull, bony frame was none other than JOHN JORDAN! Sans tried to keep his cool.
"heh. are you that shia lebouf guy?" he said. JJ pulled a basketball out of the void.
"You know me, Sans. It's me, Michael Jordan!"
"n-no! impossible!" yelled the skeleton, "you're supposed to be dead!" (See Appendix E).
"Yet I am very much alive," continued the man, "and it's all thanks to Bill Gates. With his new technology,
fusion is no longer restricted to Gems or Namekians. When I fused, I was given new life. My partner was more than willing to oblige. With my help, he's gonna dunk yo ass, AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!" Trumpets blared as the fusion grabbed Sans and put him into a choke hold. Sans was pinned to the ground as an absent crowd applauded. John Jordan kept him down for five seconds...seven seconds...nine seconds...KO! Sans was out cold.
"GET! DUNKED! ON!" yelled the fusion. He dragged the monster by the ankles into Bill Gates' chambers.

TO BE CONTINUED!
END OF CHAPTER.