Really Good Fan Fiction Chapter 5: The Finale
Minutes flew by in the blackened room where the prisoners awaited execution. Doritos were viciously devoured and relationships
deliciously mended. If their deaths were to come soon, they might as well enjoy themselves. Peridot stood in the corner silently,
trying not to listen to Sans and Silver performing their stupid mating rituals. Unlike those other clods, she was the only one
who was actually thinking about how to escape. She's had to do all the thinking for her team before, so she was used to it.
Undyne stumbled over, drunk on Mountain Dew™.
"Git yer stone ass over here, ya cloood." she mumbled. Peridot grimaced at being called a 'clod.' That was HER word!
"What do you want?" Peridot replied.
"That blue guy...*burp*...he's bin reely down since ya killed yerself...wait a minute..." Undyne began pondering why Peridot
was still here. Instead of thinking it through, though, she fell asleep on the floor.
"Is this that...Shawn-ic...You were talking about?" Peridot wondered aloud. Not that she could hear herself over all the
screaming and moaning.
"WILL YOU CLODS QUIT THAT? I'M TRYING TO THINK!" she screamed. Silver apologized profusely while Sans continued to jerk off.
"Peridot!? Oh no! I'm going insane, aren't I!?" Sonic said. He had just woken from his state of unconsciousness. To hear
Peridot's voice again...It both pleased and terrified him. Sonic stumbled across the room in the direction of the noise. Sonic
stepped in something foul...Shit, he presumed. The hedgehog reeled in horror.
"sorry about that," said Sans, gripping his garter belt, "i guess leaving that there was pretty SHITTY of me." Silver laughed
so hard that his gag fell out of his mouth and his Batman™ mask almost fell off. Papyrus sat sobbing in the corner. Despite these
obstacles, Sonic found his way to Peridot's location.
"Is that really you, Peridot? H-How did you get here?" Sonic pleaded.
"Of course I'm Peridot! Who are YOU?" she demanded. Sonic was horrified.
"Don't you remember when we strangled Mecha Hitler together? Don't you remember all the good times we had?" he cried.
"I don't remember anything that happened before they captured me...Why would I ever work with the likes of you?" Peridot
asserted, "They told me that I was part of some secret book club or something stupid like that. Then again, I shouldn't listen to
the clods who tortured me for months on end..." Sonic realized that this was not the Peridot he fell in love with. He knew it was
too good to be true. Sonic slumped against the wall and fell asleep once more, groaning. Barack Obama tried to comfort Papyrus,
but it didn't work.
"SANS FOUND A NEW BROTHER...*SNIFF*...NOW WHO AM I GOING TO YELL AT FOR MAKING LAME JOKES?" sobbed the skeleton. Obama patted
him on the head. Alas, all things must come to an end eventually. An instant, intense spurt of light invaded the room like a
batallion of angry lobsters. The door creaked so loudly that Papyrus had to cover his nonexistant ears. The crew would have loved
to see who opened it, but their eyes were still adjusting to the light.
"Alright, suckas! It's time to get HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARVESTED!" said Michael Cena...Uh...John Jordan.
"I won't let my guard down this time, you lumpy clumpy clod!" screamed Peridot, dashing towards the exit door. It was locked,
obviously. The others followed after her, but in their confusion they all bumped into eachother and fell. One by one Michael Ce-
God damn it, John Jordan dragged them into one of the many machines in the room. Each one contained a cylindrical apparatus for
storing the victim as well as several copper wires extending across the room. They were spread randomly throughout the dank
corners of the harvest room. The victims fought, of course, but let's consider John Jordan for a second. He was JOHN CENA. FUSED.
WITH MICHAEL JORDAN. He had a body that no amount of steroids could replicate. He was nothing short of a demigod. Thus, each
member was haphasardly shoved into the thick, throbbing mechanical cylinders. Slowly, they began to suck the lavish life juices
out of each and every body. Not only was it intensily painful, but it also hurt a lot. John Jordan paced around and around,
waiting for his job to finally be done and for him to be set free. His hopeful musing was rudely interrupted by a loud banging on
the door. It was followed by an armada of irritable voices and grunts, so John Jordan opened it, expecting Bill Gates to come with
more orders. Instead, he found the combined forces of Karkat, Terezi, Dave, Sundowner, and Monsoon barging into the harvest room.
"WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING THEM?" demanded Karkat. John Jordan was stunned, but quickly regained his confidence and refuted,
"Y'all have some nerve tryin' to make ME talk. I'll slam dunk yo lil' asses and then I'll harvest you all!"
"TH3N B3ND OV3R, B1G BOY :P" Terezi said. Sundowner and Monsoon charged at John Jordan and tackled him to the ground. They
began flipping him over, but John Jordan threw them off, but not before Dave wrapped his arms around John's neck. John gagged
and stumbled around the room, slamming both him and Dave into the wall. The resulting impact shook the entire room, spilling the
powerful artifacts from the walls. Sundowner pinned John Jordan to the wall using his scissor blades.
"DON'T KILL HIM YOU FUCKNUT!" shouted Karkat. Sundowner rolled his eyes and both he and Monsoon grabbed hold of John's arms
and flipped him over. Terezi readied her crippling blow: one strong walking cane to the butt. John screamed like mad as he felt
it enter. Oddly, a sound of shattered glass echoed from him. The cane was removed, and John Jordan slunk to the ground, completely
aghast. A white light hid his form as he unfused. When the crew was able to see again, there was an unconcious John Cena and the
corpse of Michael Jordan. The gang cheered and danced, but Monsoon saw something odd. He picked it up from the ground and saw that
it was the remains of a tiny, shattered, white gem.
"Curious indeed." said the cyborg.
"Over here, my dudes!" said Dave. He had found the harvesting machines and who was inside of them.
"OH FUCK! GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT!" cried Karkat. Monsoon pulled the power switch, making the room go
completely dark. A jumble of clinking and groaning signified the escape of the trapped peoples. Papyrus used his light magic to
see the scene of the crime.
"SANS! ARE YOU OKAY!?"
"yeah bro...ugh, that hurt like hell..." replied his brother. Silver caught sight of his saviors and bellowed,
"That is a very nice thing you did, Karkat."
"THANKS," the troll replied, "IT WAS ALL THANKS TO THE POWER OF MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDSHIP." Unfortunately, Peridot's physical
form had been destroyed, leaving her limb enhancers scattered across the floor. Sonic scooped up the gem in his hands and pocketed
it, though he had a massive headache from the harvest machine.
"Wait! Where's Nicholas Cage? He didn't die, did he!?" panicked Silver. Dave patted Silver on the back and stated,
"Shadow had an edge shortage, so Nick and Sollux took him to the hospital. But man, you should've seen those sick rhymes I laid
down on the way! 'Sticks and stones,' my ass!" Silver was not impressed by Dave's sick rhymes as Dave repeated them verbatim to the
entire room.
"J3GUS, H4V3 4NY OF YOU 3V3N BROUGHT UP TH3 F4CT TH4T B1LL G4TES 1S D34D?" intercepted Terezi.
"Bill Gates is WHAT?" shouted Silver.
"H3H H3H! H1S BODY T4ST3D L1KE M1CROCH1PS..." Terezi added. After that news was shared the room erupted in excited speaking of
the mouth. Over the ocean of words, Undyne had only one thing on her mind...
"Where's Alphys!?" She exclaimed. "Oh my fucking god how did I forget about Alphys!? Where the hell did she get off to?"
Undyne paced the room frantically, as if her life was put on fast-forward. She yanked at the door, she kicked and smashed and stabbed
it as much as she could. It did not move.
"HOW THE FUCK DO WE GET OUT OF HERE!?" she screamed. The crowd stopped talking instantly. Panic ensued. Chairs were overturned.
In their dilly-dallying, the door had shut itself and was now only openable by a Microsoft-Brand Magic Skeleton Key™. Sonic pawed
through John Cena's pockets, finding the ramains of a shattered key, but he was trampled by an unsuspecting Monsoon and they both
fell to the floor on top of eachother. Sundowner was clawing at the door with his blades, but all it did was tire his old joints.
Silver pawed at his ears, because the screaming was making his ears hurt. Karkat was pushed aside by the panicked crowd and he fell
to the floor next to Silver. He lifted his gray head up and both he and the hedgehog nodded to eachother. They knew exactly what to do.
Standing up slowly, they both took very deep breaths.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The volumous command penetrated even the most resistant of ears. Many people toppled over, clenching their ears. Complete silence
had been freed from captivity at last, save for the intense ringing in everyone's ears.
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU EAR RAPISTS AND TRY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE!" Karkat added.
"Monsoon, try using your magnetic powers to undo the lock!" said Silver. Monsoon waved his hands in front of the door, but
nothing happened. Silver tried using his own powers, but the door did not budge.
"WORRY NOT, MY DEAR FRIENDS! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE CONCOCTED THE MOST NEFARIOUS OF SCHEMES!" said Papyrus, ripping his thigh
bone out of its socket and limping towards the door.
"bro. what the fuck." sans mumbled.
"NYEH! BT THE POWER OF MR. SKELTAL, MY THIGH BONE SHALL BECOME A...SKELETON KEY! NYEHEHEHEHEH!" replied the scarfed one. The bone
entered the door's lock and it opened immediately. The other cheered and crowded around the skeleton as they all tried to hug him at
once. Papyrus replaced his thigh bone and stood in triumph.
Meanwhile, Alphys was lying on the ground outside of Bill Gates' castle. She had been assigned to watch over the motorcycle, or
rather, she had assigned herself to watch over the motorcycle. She didn't feel that guilty about not going in there to fight with the
others. They would've told her to stay behind anyway. Unfortunately, Sollux and Nicholas Cage had to use the motorcycle to take Shadow
to the hospital. She had exhausted all other methods of entertainment, so she began to worry for her friends, for Undyne. As she slowly
crept towards the castle, her mind was bombarded by thoughts of what a terrible idea this was. A small, stoney-looking woman tapped
Alphys on the shoulder. Alphys shrieked and slapped her in the face out of reflex.
"Oh g-god! I'm s-so sorry!" she said. The woman was completely black. Not, like, African American, but the actualy color black. She
wore a convoluted crown of many spikes, a dark gemstone lying in its center. The black gem grabbed Alphys with her other arm.
"GET IN HERE, FAGGOT!" she shouted in a crackly, distorted voice. Alphys struggled as the gem held her against its body and Alphys
slowly began to fade from reality. White light once again enveloped the area and there stood Black Diamond, now twice as large. Her
head was contorted to blend with that of the lizard lady, and a new tail adorned her backside. Unlike most other gems, Black Diamond
had the ability to fuse with any living thing and still maintain her identity. Alphys' soul was now trapped inside Black Diamond's
crooked form. Satisfied, the diamond charged towards Bill Gates' castle. Sonic felt the earth shake beneath him. Small fragments of
stone fell from the cieling. Panicked, he looked to his fellow resistance members, who were also in a state of bewilderment.
"The castle is collapsing!" screamed Undyne.
"Get out of here! NOW!" shouted Silver. Everyone scattered. Sonic ran for his life, desperately moving just fast enough to get by
without running into walls. His feet bombarded the crusty stone floor with blow after blow. He did not see who or what was around him.
All he could see was his imminent doom as he dashed down hallway after hallway, jolting every time the ground shook and more debris
fell from the heavens. His heart battered his ribcage with such force. He could feel the air being split apart before him by his rapid
movement. The air wrapped itself around his sarcophegus, ready to strangle him. Undyne struggled through every step she took, anxiety
strangling her head and distorting her judgement. Never before had she needed to run from a foe. Stumbling, she labored for her every
breath as she descended the hundreds of ramps surrounding the fortress. She could feel in her heart that the end was near. What could
be causing all this chaos? Black Diamond had infiltrated the main entrance, trampling across every room, holding every body against her
as she accumulated fusion power. Her limbs grew and multiplied; her face became an unrecognizable mish-mash of people. Every new
iteration of Black Diamond made the Earth tremble in fear. At this rate, she will be unstoppable. Drooling feverishly, she tore down the
door leading to the prisoners' cells. Every step she took indented the floor with her monsterous biology. The tears of every soul she
took from the world streamed down her back like a cape of misery. She caught sight of Bill Gates' remains with one of her many, many
eyes.
"OH FUCK! They already got him. Filthy scub, you may have created me, but you're a pathetic excuse for a lifeform. I should never
have trusted you to work for me." said she, scooping up the corpse and shoving it into her mouth, her thousands of teeth crushing it
into a fine paste. Silver skidded to a halt at the end of the hallway, catching sight of this cannibalistic horror. He had no words to
speak, his senses overwhelmed with shock, confusion, terror, and despair. Gathering his wits, he focused his power on lifting Black
Diamond into the air, but she was just too powerful. The fusion opened an eye on the back of one of her tails and saw Silver. Silver tried
to run, but was instantly trapped in the grip of Black Diamond's many appendages. White light exploded into the room and Silver's essence
was absorbed into the crystalline beast. She knew that she needed to let her physical form grow to support more fusions. Crouching down,
Black Diamond glowed as her physical form pushed the boundaries of the room and the boundaries of reality itself. The castle crumbled
over and under her, becoming her skin and her clothes. Black Diamond grew until her head had reached the clouds themselves. Undyne saw
the ground beneath her sink, so she threw herself out of the nearest window. The trolls followed suit, but unfortunately Dave tripped
on the floor. His perception of time began to slow down as he grabbed at anything and everything to slow his descent. At last, he caught
hold of something...It was Karkat's hand!
"Thanks, bro!" Dave stammered as he was pulled up. The duo watched as the other half of the castle crumbled down.
"WE NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CASTLE..." Karkat yelled. Dave began to lower himself out of the window, but Karkat shouted,
"WAIT A MINUTE, STRIDER...I SHOULD TELL YOU THIS BEFORE WE DIE...I...OH GOD...I FUCKING LOVE YOU, DAVE." Dave blushed as he tried
to find the best words to use.
"Sorry, uh, I'm not gay, man. Um, you're still cool." was his reply. Karkat lowered his eyelids.
"OH, OF COURSE. HOW ANTICLIMACTIC." he said, scratching the back of his head. In a few seconds, the sunken ship had climbed a rope
safely to the ground. What, did you think they just lept out of there like some intoxicated gibbons? What kind of idiot would do that?
Undyne, Papyrus, Sonic, and Sans stood in awe of the destruction going on as Karkat, Dave, and Terezi quickly caught up with them.
Obama traipsed in a few seconds later, saying goodbye before heading back to the White House. On account of the collapsing fortress, all
they could hear was banging and thudding, so they could not speak, but they all knew that without Silver things were looking pretty
hopeless. Sundowner and Monsoon came by, running their legs off.
"Silver's dead! We're outta here!" Sundowner wheezed. Dave waved goodbye as the two cyborgs sought the streets of Denmark. Karkat sat
down on the dewwed grass, patiently watching that writhing charcoal mass of Black Diamond. A sort of hysteria overtook him, and he began
to feel very jolly indeed. No more Gates, no more castle. Surely the crystalline black queen won't be too much of a problem, right? Sonic
took out Peridot's gem, tears staining his eyes. The gem began to vibrate intensily. Sonic dropped it with a yelp as the gem burned his
hands. White light took shape and solidified into the great and lovable Peridot once again. She grimaced at the sight of Black Diamond and
her legacy.
"Is that...What I think it is?" Peridot uttered. Sonic shrugged awkwardly. Peridot held her head in her hands for a moment before turning
back. She then realized that she had lost her limb enhancers again, leaving her defenseless and small. Frantically she looked for them, but
she found nothing.
"WHERE ARE MY LIMB ENHANCERS, BLUE HEDGEHOG!?" Peridot screamed. Sonic was taken aback by her hostility. So this was the real Peridot?
"I...uh...left them in the harvest room. I'm sorry, Peridot! I didn't think they would be that important." he stammered. Peridot grasped
Sonic by the shoulders and shook him frantically.
"WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" she cried. They both began to panic. Peridot wanted to stop shaking him, but she began to feel a very strange
sensation. Suddenly, their bodies began to morph into eachother, releasing streaming rays of vibrant light. The others watched, absolutely
dumbfounded. Out of the smoke and ashes of the collapsing stronghold walked a brand new person. Her name was Hedgidot! Six greenish quills
flowed in the wind like that of a legendary Saiyan, A long cloak of turquoise enveloped her furry chest.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Karkat screamed. Terezi walked closer to get a better smell of the novel fusion.
"TH4T W4S R34LLY COOL! 1 TH1NK 1 W4NN4 TRY TH1S FUS1ON TH1NG TOO!" she squeamed. Hedgidot held out one of her four arms.
"YOU WILL NOT!" Karkat commanded. Terezi and the hedgehog danced gracefully, quickly becoming in sync with their feelings. White light
shined once more, revealing yet another giant woman. Her name was Teredgidot. She spread out all six of her arms and laughed a heartly laugh.
"W3LL? AR3 W3 MAKING THIS HAPP3N OR NOT?" She spoke. Karkat sighed heavily.
"SURE, WHY THE HELL NOT?" he said, offering his gray palms to the giantess. She swung the little troll around her, tenderly throwing him
into the air and catching him with her torso. Steam enveloped the entire scene once more and out came Karkeredgidot. Dave backed away as he
realized he was next. The fusion gave him a glare of mild annoyance, but did not make him fuse. Undyne looked to Papyrus and Sans.
"Can monsters do that?" she asked. The skeletons shrugged. Karkeredgidot lept into the air, holding out her six arms above her to form
helicopter blades, Peridot's signature ability. Black Diamond had consumed the entire castle at this point, and she just now began to notice
the fusion flying towards her. Never fearing, the darkened matriarch reached out with dozens and dozens of limbs and began to grab at
Karkeredgidot. The fusion was hit in the shin and tumbled down, quickly recovering her altitude through flight. Still not used to flying
in such a way, Karkeredgidot flew above Black Diamond's head and landed in the center of her crown, a space now 30 meters in diameter.
Karkeredgidot fell flat on her face, taking in the disgusting texture of Black Diamond's flesh. Black Diamond was unable to reach the fusion
with her limbs. Enraged, she began to shake her head violently, sending dust and chunks of stone flying everywhere. Karkeredgidot was flung
against the inner wall of the crown, her many hands making long scratches in the rare metal. Struggling, she took careful step after careful
step on the shaking surface, her feet digging into the flesh and making loud crunching noises. The wind cut into her eyes as Karkeredgidot
crouched triumphantly on top of Black Diamond's gem. Forming her arms into a pair of sharp blades, Karkeredgidot dug them deep into the huge
gemstone beneath her. Blinding light surrounded the area as the diamond shouted and spasmed. Suddenly, Karkeredgidot began to feel conflicted.
Her skin began to burn. Quickly, Karkeredgidot pulled her arms out but at the same time pushed them back in. With a puff of smoke, she unfused,
sending Sonic, Peridot, Terezi, and Karkat flying in all directions. Plummeting towards the cruel Earth, Karkat closed his eyes and accepted
death. Suddenly, a pair of arms caught him and lowered him gently to the ground. Karkat groaned and peeked at his savior.
"OH WHAT THE FUCK." he exclaimed. He was being held by not two arms, but four. Staring down at him was a strong, boney woman by the name
of Sunpyrius. She stepped away from the troll and launched herself into the air once more. Terezi was panicking as she saw herself getting
farther and farther away from the sky. She had never known that such an unfusion could occur! She took out her walking stick and desperately
jammed it into one of Black Diamond's arms to slow her descent. As she slid down the callous black shell, gallons of steam and light poured out
of the expanding wound. Terezi regained her confidence and began to laugh at Black Diamond's alarming roars. Sunpyrius leapt up, grabbing at
the falling Sonic but fumbling. She panicked, causing her face to contort heavily before regaining focus. Falling quicker than Sonic due to her
size, Sunpyrius landed gracefully and instantly leaped up toward Sonic once more, catching him for real this time. Peridot, still unused to her
tiny, unenhanced little arms, was completely defenseless from her plummet. Terezi, still sliding down Black Diamond's skin, launched herself
away to catch the hopeless gem, rolling as they both landed safely on the ground. Black Diamond, now the size of the Eiffel Tower, began to
realize what had happened.
"Fuck you, you hopeless faggot-nutters! I hope you all die slow, painful deaths like the filthy scrubs you are!" she screamed.
"UH-OH. SHE'S ALMOST AS PISSED OF AS I AM." Karkat sneered. Peridot marched up to Sonic and grabbed him by the collar.
"You CLOD! You were the one who disrupted the fusion!" she yelled. Sonic began to get angry as well.
"Our friends are in there, Peridot! What if we kill them!?" he exploded. Peridot groaned and let go of him. Softly, they began to hear
the familiar tune of Cirno in their ears. A buff, handsome figure approached from the horizon. It was I, THE GLORIOUS AUTHOR! Sunpyrius was
so shocked she unfused back into Undyne, Sans, and Papyrus.
"Oh, it's you! I never got to thank you for helping me earlier..." Sonic exasperated.
"You're welcome, indeed!" I said, tipping my shining fedora crafted by hand from diamonds taken from the African mines. I did, of course,
give those miners new jobs in the pyrotechnics industry.
"You need to help us defeat Black Diamond!" Sonic begged. I shook my head solemnly.
"No," I said, "the glory of this fight belongs to you for all this hard work. Let me give you guys some advice..." The other people
gathered around me.
"Fusion is entirely dependant on the emotions of each fusee. I need you to try your hardest to stay in sync and focus on defeating Black
Diamond. Do not worry about your friends, they are trapped within Black Diamond's gem and can only be freed by destroying her physical form.
To do this, you'll need a lot of firepower." I said as a motorcycle revealed itself on the horizon.
"Here comes Shadow," I announced, "I must be going."
"Why in the name of Homeworld should we listen to you!?" demanded Peridot.
"Because I...AM THE AUTHOR!" I said, turning my cape and disappearing with a flash, leaving behind several gift baskets in my place.
Shadow's bike screeched to a halt in front of them, setting fire to the trees behind it. Shadow, Nicholas Cage, and Sollux dismounted.
"Shadow! Thank god you're here! Black Diamond captured Silver and-"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. LET'S KILL IT." Shadow barked, loading his submachine gun. Black Diamond began to creep closer to them. Walking is
slow and painful when you're hundreds of feet tall and have 16 legs.
"ALRIGHT, FUCKWADS, LISTEN HERE. LET'S ALL GET IN A CIRCLE AND FUSE. KILLING BLACK DIAMOND NEEDS TO BE THE ONLY THINGS ON OUR MINDS." Karkat
shouted. Slowly and clumsily, they all formed a circle hand-in-hand. What followed was the world's most intense game of ring-around-the-rosie.
An explosion of multicolored light surrounded them and clouds of smoke blinded any spectators. The ground shook with the raw power being displayed.
Stomping away from the billowing smoke, his gigantic six legs crushed the rubble beneath them. His body shone with every shade of black and red and
blue. The quills running down his spine outnumbered the many eyes on his faces. He was about half of Black Diamond's size now. His name...was
Shasonkatredgidolluxrider Cage, but let's just call him Bob.
"BLACK DIAMOOOOOOOND!" he roared. He picked up Shadow's motorcycle and tossed it at the goliath. She caught it with two hands and ripped it
apart nonchalantly. Black Diamond proceeded to uproot twenty of the surrounding trees, breaking open the Earth. She reeled backwards and launched
the trees one by one at full force. One of them hit Bob right in the face, sending him stumbling backwards. With heightened fury, he caught the
next tree and used it to swat away the next few. Doing a backflip, Bob stomped over to the city. Wrapping eight arms around the nearest skyscraper,
he pulled, rupturing the evacuated city streets below. Spinning around, he launched the building straight at Black Diamond. She began to duck, but
the tower collided right into her abdomen, almost knocking her over. The enraged Black Diamond retorted with a baffling taunt:
"FUCK YOU!" Black Diamond yelled as she stretched herself high, higher towards the sun and grabbed the nearest cloud with her hands.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TH1NK YOU'RE DOING?" shouted Bob. He bent his knees, tucking his elbows behind him. Condensing the cloud into a solid block
of ice with her powers, Black Diamond spun around and launched it at the rival fusion. Bob charged, shattering the ice with his skull. He
desecrated the Earth as he tackled Black Diamond to the ground. Her voluminous body flattened the surround terrain, bits of rock and dirt
covering the fusions' faces. Bob summoned legions of spear-pointed bone and bombarded the diamond with intense rage. Bob took hold of the black gem
on the top of her head. Bob pulled and heaved, his arms tightening with the strain. Black Diamond kicked at him, so Bob slowed time with Chaos Control.
Bob's veins protruded from his temples as a painting of rage embodied his face. Sweat began to drench his every crevice as he loosened the gem
from its iron grip. Bob was thrown back as light began to flood out of Black Diamond. The goliath's shell crumbled as whole cities of thick, boiling
smoke enveloped the city of Denmark. Bob let out a piercing cry of victory as all the emotions of everyone inside of him were set free. Bob closed
his eyes and spread out his arms as exploded into one final burst of light. It took several minutes for the smoke to clear, and when it did,
everyone could be found lying on the ground in the middle of the battlefield. Every man, woman, corpse, gem, monster, and hermaphrodite that Black
Diamond had taken were now lying safely in the crumbling dirt. Groggily, Sonic stood up and observed his surroundings.
"Hello...Sonic" was Peridot's greeting. Being a mere manifestation of light, Peridot got up quicker than the others. Sonic waved, putting on
a half smile.
"When we were fused, I got to see some of your memories...I don't quite remember them, but I remember how they felt, and now I am going to
apologize for being so angry at you earlier." she said.
"That's okay, Peridot...Wait, does this mean-"
"No."
"Okay..." Sonic slumped away to find Silver. After several minutes of wading through corpses and sleeping bodies he saw the white hedgehog
sitting on a rock, staring into the horizon.
"What's up? I'm glad you're okay." Sonic greeted.
"Bill Gates is gone...The resistance has been my life for years now...Now what do I do?" replied Silver. The two sat in silence for several
minutes. After a while, Silver slowly turned to Sonic and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Good work out there. I knew you could do it." he said before trodding off into the distance. Meanwhile, Papyrus was prancing about the field
of destruction. Jumping over an overturned tree, he spotted a certain fish lady and a certain lizard lady. Undyne was holding Alphys' head in her
hands.
"She didn't hurt you, did she!?" said Undyne, checking for bruises. Alphys shook her head before burying it in her hands.
"I-It's all my fault, Undyne! I c-couldn't get away...If I had j-just tagged along this would never have h-happened!" sobbed the lizard.
Undyne shouted,
"Don't you blame this on yourself! It would have happened anyway, Alphys. C'mere..." The two embraced lovingly. Suddenly, they heard the pounding
of dirt and the clattering of bone coming their way.
"HI ALPHYS! HI UNDYNE!" Papyrus exclaimed, grasping them with both of his arms.
"THIS IS A GROUP HUG, ISN'T IT?" he asked.
"Why not..." replied Undyne. Suddenly, Papyrus felt the embrace of an additional member.
"SANS! WHERE WERE YOU?"
"i was just having a talk over there," replied Sans, backing away from the trio. "sorry, but, i've got one last thing i've gotta do." Sans
disappeared in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Silver stood, boots firmly grounded, a black gem firmly grasped. In a blink of an eye, Sans was there.
"ready?" spouted the skeleton. Silver nodded.
"Let's finish this once and for all!" Silver lifted the gem into the air with his mind, locking it in place. Sans rubbed his eyesockets before using
the last of his magic reserves to surround the gem with bones. Sans swung his arm and the army of bones closed in on Black Diamond's gem, crushing it under
the force of Karmic Retribution. Small chunks of diamond dripped to the ground like gravel. Silver lifted these shards, and with one last scream he hurled
them at the sun. May they never be seen again.
Dave approached Shadow, holding up his fist.
"What do you want?" asked the black hedgehog.
"C'mon! We were awesome out there! Don't leave me hanging!" replied the Dave human. Shadow grunted before raising his fist to collide it with Dave's.
Shadow marched over to his motorcycle and mounted it.
"I'm outta here, fucktards. Peace!" were his final words before riding off into the setting sun. Dave wiped a single tear from his eye.
Later that week, President Obama hosted a celebration of Bill Gates' demise at the White House, where he gave all the resistance members Medals of Honor.
Peridot and Nicholas Cage eventually re-fused and kickstarted a whole new era of stage performance. Terezi, Sollux, Karkat, and Dave continued their search
for the last copy of SBurb so they could finally return home (See Appendix C). Sundowner and Monsoon moved into a large house together and started families.
Monsoon brought into existance 2 children, Sophia and Eeeeeeeeeeearnis. Sundowner brought two of his own, Schnick and Fnickel. Their cyborg dynasties would
prove to be quite expansive. Undyne sought a career in professional wrestling with costumes designed by Alphys, of course. Together, Sonic, Shadow, Sans,
Silver, and Papyrus bought a considerable mansion in Washington D.C. to search for the last of Bill Gates' supporters. Alphys later discovered that each
brainwashed minion had a small, white gem hidden deep inside of them that took control of their bodies.
The site of Bill Gates' castle was quarantined by the government of Denmark. Nobody entered the battlefield again for several years, until one day a
purple suited man decided to walk among the ruins of discarded stone. He walked very erratically, his legs never quite moving the same way when he
took a step. He was often described as a crusty, sticky man. And his name was Waluigi.
THE END