Chapter 8
Tris
He doesn't let me go. "Tobias…" I say, to stop him from what he's about to do. He leans in to kiss me, but I look away. It's not fair to him. He gently wraps his fingers around my chin and turns my head so that he is looking into my eyes. "Tris. It's okay." I want to believe him. I want to believe that it is okay to love him. Then, I think of what Christina said, that it's not up to me to make this decision. Maybe she's right. I know Tobias wants me just as much as I want him. He leans in to kiss me again. Stop, I tell myself, but I can't. This time I kiss him back. He seems surprised and he pulls back, but I don't want him to. I grab his neck and pull him down again. This time, I kiss him more firmly. His grip around my wrists loosens and I roll on top of him instead. His hand slips under the hem of my shirt, touching my bare skin. It's cold, but his lips are warm and that's all I can focus on. My head buzzes with nervousness, even though I've kissed him so many times before. A faint sigh escapes me, and heat rushes through my cheeks. I press my palm against the floor to stop them from shaking. Kissing him again makes me realize how dependent I actually am of him. Every day, every minute, every second I missed him. Not being able to be near him has slowly been killing me, and I can't stay away anymore. He sighs next to my ear, and it brings me back to reality. I realize that we're still in the training room.
"Tobias, we have to go," I say. He nods slowly. We stand up and I grab his hand, dragging him with me toward his apartment.
He fumbles with the keys but manages to unlock the door. I haven't been here since our fight, if I can call it that. I just left him with nothing but pointless words. Thinking about it now, it must have not made any sense at all. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I fit my mouth to his, not knowing where this is going. Our kisses grow more desperate. He pulls of my jacket and I can feel his heavy breathing against my neck. All I can think about is that I want him, more than ever. I pull him with me to his bedroom. "I missed you so much," he says, before kissing me again. I pull his collar and drag him with me onto the bed. He lands on top of me. He kisses my neck and I smile against his shoulder. I roll on top of him. I pull his shirt over his head and toss it on the floor. I let my hands caress his body that I exposed. Every connection, every touch, makes me want him even more.
Tobias
She drags me with her onto the bed. I fall on top of her. I kiss her neck, and she smiles against my shoulder. She's happy, and that's all that matters. She rolls on top of me and pulls my shirt up and tosses it aside. She sits up and grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. Even though she's not fully exposed, she still looks embarrassed. I reach out and touch her stomach with my fingertips.
"Beautiful." I say, and I mean it.
She seems to believe me, because she smiles a little and kisses me again. I remember the first time I kissed her, by the chasm. I was so nervous, trying to convince myself that she felt the same way about me as I did about her. And in that moment, when she showed me I could trust her, I knew. Ever since, a day hasn't gone by without me thinking of her.
"Tobias?" She says waking me up from my reminiscence.
"Mm?"
"I love you." This is the first time she's ever said it. I've known for a long time that I loved her. I don't know why I haven't told her. I thought I had time. I guess now, when I know what it feels like to almost lose her I have no reason to not say it.
"I love you too."
She looks into my eyes and then at my naked chest and stomach. She smiles again, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's not ready yet.
"It's okay Tris. We can wait." I pull her down by my side and wrap her in my arms.
"Thank you," she says.
"For what?"
"For being you. I never want us to be apart again."
"Well I'm not going anywhere."
I pull her closer and we fall asleep, her head against my chest and my arms around her body. We fit.
See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s