Gold had had a good week, so had Emma. It was weird, one moment Emma was sure she hated the man, but a honest conversation and a large volume of alcohol, and she had had more sex in the last week then in her whole life, times ten, and it was so much better.
Gold's leg was doing great after their 'bath', so was Emma. And now they were heading home. "So, I'd say for our anniversary, we kidnap Henry after drugging Regina and tying her to a tall tree and covering the base with stuffed animals. I'd say it will take her a week before she's hungry enough to come down, more than enough time to go to Disney World and see Mickey Mouse." Gold said.
"She'd have the sheriff arrest us the moment we were over the town line, and Henry wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut for long about something like that." Emma replied.
"Well, considering you will be sheriff, I think will be fine."
"Whoever said I was going to be sheriff?" Emma asked.
"Well I did of course. I informed Regina that she will be letting you be sheriff, and let you have a deputy and a file clerk or two to help get paper work done, can't let you stay at the station all night." Gold said laughing,
"What if I like sleeping alone on my hard desk, drooling on paper and lessening to Leroy drunk sing in his sleep?"
"I think you need to stop talking before you get too depressed."
"Good idea. But really, Disney World, you could just take me, I never got to go."
"I could take you, Henry, and all 28 of our kids to Disney World every year."
Emma half laughed, half gasped at that. "28 KIDS! How much sex do you think we'll be having?"
"At this rate, enough."
"Yeah, but really, 28, why not be normal when wanting a lot of kids, like four or five. We could always adopt a few more if you really wanted, but 28 are way too many kids, people with half that many kids end up on reality T.V."
"But I could hold them, and I would love each and every one of them. And when they started to walk, I would train them to scream and point at Regina, calling her the evil queen. And I would feed then coffee and sugar and send them to play with their big brother Henry at his adoptive mother's house."
"So you plan to have enough kids to put Regina in a mental hospital."
"Tis the basic plan dearie. I happen to love kids, but tormenting Regina is just a big bonus."
Granny's
"So how was the trip?" Ruby asked when Emma came in for dinner.
"Oh, not too bad, we had sex once or twice, saw some sights." Emma said nonchalantly.
"Yes." Ruby yelled loudly.
"Why are you unhappy?" Emma asked, Ruby then went on to explain the bet.
Gold's shop
"How was the Honeymoon?" Leroy asked coming into the shop.
"Why on earth would you care?" Gold asked back.
"I have my good name riding on a bet with Ruby." Gold eyed him skeptically. "Ok, I have my pride riding on it." Gold's face didn't change. "Ruby will have to the bar with me and sing if she loses, come on, cut me some slack."
"If you must know, we rarely left the bed and barley ever had our clothes on." Gold said, causing Leroy to go running out of the shop, looking terrified.
Granny's
"Ruby!" Leroy yelled. "I'm wondering if we could maybe drop the bet."
"Yeah, I still can't believe it, but if you want to drop it, thanks." Ruby said
"Hay no problem; I just can't believe I lost."
"What are you talking about, I lost." Ruby said surprised.
"Gold said they rarely left the bed, and they were, and I quote, 'and barley ever had our clothes on' end quote."
"Emma said they barley had any sex at all."
"Well one of them is lying."
"And how do I know you're not the liar?"
"What idiot lies and says they lost a bet? I'm a drunk, not stupid."
"Ok, I'll go ask Gold, and you ask Emma." Ruby said, running off to talk to Gold.
Leroy then went and found Emma. "Hay Emma, how was the trip."
"I don't know, we didn't see many sights, mostly just enjoyed the newlywed novelty, lots of sex, you know." Leroy then ran out And Emma picked up her phone. "There both heading your way, Ruby should be there first."
"What are you doing?"Granny asked, having been lessening in on the conversations.
"Oh, just messing with them, Madelyn told us all about the bet they had going, so we decided to tell whoever came to us that they lost." Emma said smiling. "I give them five more tries before they go insane."
"Well, just make sure you don't break them too badly, you're talking about a third of my staff and income when it comes to those two."
"We'll try, so how is the swear jar going?"
Gold's shop
"Gold, how much sex did you and Emma have on the Honeymoon?" Ruby came in asking.
"Really dear, you're just going to walk into my shop and ask me that. No getting around to it, trying to weasel the information out of me, nothing?" Gold said, more disappointed at the lack of imagination then lack of tact.
"No time, big bet riding on this."
"And you're betting on my love life, well. And what will you give me for this; Leroy at least appealed to my sense of humor."
"Leroy as cupid singing outside your home on Valentine's Day." Ruby said.
"I said humor, not gag reflex."
"The Easter Bunny."
"Better, we had very little sex actually. Maybe one or two rounds." And Ruby was out of the door like a rocket. "Honestly, this is just too easy." He said laughing.
Michal's house
"So, fun week Gold, I understand some of the residents, young ones mostly, are trying to find cute way to combine your name with Emma Swan." Michal said.
"It was good. I was surprised by the rings effectiveness though."
"They were enhanced by the true love magic, Emma's and the potions. And the fact you've both been alone for so long."
"Thank you for your concern old friend."
"They are twin diamond rings, they are meant to bind you together. Besides, it's not like you should be complaining." Michal laughed.
"What are you to talking about?" Henry asked, coming in and sitting on the chair opposite Gold.
"The rings I gave your mother are twin diamond rings. According to legend, a king with 101 wives was worried one of them was unfaithful. So he had a dwarf wizard enchant magic diamonds and then break them in half, putting one half on a necklace for the king, and the other was put into a ring. With the diamond, the minds of the King and his wives were linked; this had a number of side effects, ranging from being able to experience more pleasure doing…" Gold stopped realizing he was talking to a ten year old. "Married things, and being able to do more of it." He said awkwardly.
"But unfortunately for the King, he had no training in magic, so when he opened up his mind to the link, hoping to see into his wives minds and see who was unfaithful, all their memories and thoughts came pouring in, driving the king mad. He died latter, and the diamonds were scattered." Michal said.
"So you can read Emma's mind."
"No, if I concentrate I can get a feeling for where she is, how she is feeling, who she is with, stuff like that. If this land had magic, I could now what she was thinking, put have a small amount of control over her actions."
"Make her let me stay up and eat ice cream." Henry said hopefully.
"Maybe."
"Cool."
A few days ago in Michal's study
"How did I forget that?" Henry asked mostly to himself.
"Come sit down Henry, we have a lot to talk about." The old man said smiling, and for the first time, Henry notices the odd robes he was wearing. "Yes these are wizard robes." Michal said.
"How did you?" Henry couldn't quite form the question.
"Allow me to explain. Many years ago an evil king ruled a small bit of land, a wizard cursed him to have an overwhelming urge to confess all his secrets, and if he didn't do it every week, his health would suffer. At first the king simple killed the person he told, but after a while he was running out of people to tell, so he commissioned another wizard to create The Sign of The Confessional." Miachal said, pointing to a wood disk. It was a simple object, with two hands clasping together in prayer in the front, with a head above the hands in the back, looking down but with its eyes shut and a hand over its mouth. Michal then went to pick it up and show Henry the other side; it had the same image on the back, but with the hands in the back, and the head in front.
"With this in the room, no one will be able to hear us, and when you leave, you will be unable to remember anything we talked about, you won't be able to write anything down to remember it either, to you and anyone else, it would look blank."
"But, why have me come here if I won't remember anything."
"After you leave, take this with you." Michal gave Henry a grey Knight from a chess set. "This will be an anchor for the memories."
"What will that do?" Henry said, looking at the piece with a bit more awe.
"In the back of your mind, whenever you have a question about the curse, or someone is calling you crazy, or just having doubts about life, you will feel like coming to talk to me, the chess piece will merely act as a, well, almost like that feeling where you suddenly realize you have to do something you forgot, it will make the urge to come and talk stronger."
"And when I do come here, I'll remember that you can answer my question."
"Yes, you'll even remember what we talked about earlier. And after you leave, if I gave you advice, like now, if I were to tell you that whole milk is better than skim, and you were to go to the store, you would feel more like buying whole milk then skim. It will help guide you to break the curse."
"But what if it's more complicated than just choosing something like what milk to buy? What if I need to know the five digit combination to a vault, or how to stop a fire monster, or whether or not someone is dangerous?"
"For the dangerous someone, it will be that normal uncomfortable feeling, maybe a little stronger. And as for the fire monster, you would run to me and yell 'Help, help, fire monster, fire monster." Michal said, sounding like a scared girl and waving his arms above his head.
"I don't sound like that."
"No, of course not."
"I don't."
"And I agreed with you. And if there was a five digit combination, looking at the chess pieces will give you a eureka moment, and you'll suddenly figure it out."
"Ok." Henry said.
"Now I'm sure you have questions, so why not ask them." Michal said smiling.
The Present, at the Station.
"It's good to be back." Emma said smiling.
"Hello." A deep voice said. "You must be Mrs. Gold, we haven't been properly introduced." The deep voice turned into a man, coming out of one of the rooms. "I am Dove." He said extending a hand to shake.
"Just Dove?" Emma asked taking the hand. "Not Mr. or sir, or a first name."
"You looked at my file." Emma nodded. "Bad childhood, never took a last name from any of the scum that tried to house me. Ran away, one bad blow to the head, a mugging, and a dove being outside my hospital window, and my name is born." The man said smiling. "After some physical therapy, a army man came and said how he was with the recruitment
Emma chuckled. "You make my life sound a little more pleasant. How did you end up with Gold?"
"I got shot, my doc said I should settle down in a nice quite town and recover. So I got a full tank of gas and a truck and drove, ended up here, and settled down as much as any 29 year old with a love of adventure and danger can to small town U.S.A. where Granny's recipes are the most valuable thing. Mr. Gold took piety on me and offered me a job." Dove said.
"But why stay? I mean, excitement is not the first word I'd use to describe this place." Emma asked.
"What can I say, the town grows on you. By the time I would have been able to get my job back I couldn't imagine living in the big city again, not knowing everybody's name, not knowing people routine, who they were, who they liked, were related to, who they hated, or little things like not going into Granny's every day for a warm smile and good burger."
"You became a nostalgic small town sap." Emma said good naturedly.
"Pretty much." Dove said, and then Emma got an idea.
"Dove." Emma thought hard how to phrase the question. "You've worked for Gold a long time right?"
"Right."
"Then you know a lot about him. Would you be willing to tell me about him?"
"Depends on what you're asking. If you want deeply personal details, you'll have to ask him because he never shared them with me. If you want to know about things that have happened while I have been employed by him, then maybe, as long as you don't tell him I told you." Dove said looking worried. "I'd like to keep my job, and my tongue."
"Well, just, how does he treat kids, and has he ever had a love interest."
"Gold has always treated kids with tenderness." Dove said, he was obviously carefully thinking about what he was saying. "He's not the type of person to show leniency you understand, at least not directly, he won't not kick you out of your home if you go and line up your kids in rags when he comes to the door; but he does give the hard working parent the slightly better deal than the lazy bum." Dove then looked around, almost to see if anyone was lessening. "Gold did once have a maid, before Winter came to work for him that is, there was a nice young woman Belle who was the maid. She seemed to have a thing for Gold, and Gold liked her as well, poor thing died and he's never looked at a girl after that, except you that is." Dove said solemnly. "Please understand that I owe Mr. Gold a lot, and he has been very kind to you, so please don't hurt him, it may shock you to know that he is like the way he is because of the way life has beaten him down, not because he necessarily wants to be that way."
"Thanks Dove. And don't worry, I promise not to break Gold unless he really deserves it, and never beyond repair."
"That's all I ask." Dove said smiling.
"Um excuse me." Emma and Dove both turned to see a nun standing there. "Sheriff?"
"Yes that's me." Emma said. "How can I help you."
"Well, um, it's kind of a private matter." The nun said, clearly looking at Dove.
"I'll go on patrol." Dove said leaving.
When he was gone, Emma spoke. "What is it?" She asked nicely.
"Well, it seems trivial, but it might be important, only, well, I'm not sure."
"Yes." Emma said, this time a little less patiently.
"I'm Sister Jenny, and, well, for the last few days, some of the nuns have been turning up with strange injuries."
"What do you mean strange?"
"Well. They aren't strange really, just rather large cuts, like on the palm of a hand or the shoulder or side. But the thing is, they are happening after the nuns go to bed."
"Sounds a little weird, but how do you know it happened after they were asleep."
"I wasn't sure at first, I wouldn't even mention it sheriff, it's just that, last night I went to bed, and this morning." The nun pulled up her sleeve to show a rather large bandage. When she pulled it back, it revealed a good two or more inch cut, a little swollen and red around the edges. "As you can see, it's not something you would forget where you got it. I went to bed last night, and this morning I woke up and there it was, bandaged and all, I checked every square inch of my room, nothing was out of places and not a drop of blood anywhere."
"So what exactly do you want me to do, I'm sorry but this seems like a lot of dead ends."
"I don't know, I guess I was just worried and wondered if there is anything you could do to help."
"I could have Dove drive by the place tonight, by extra watchful, but otherwise I'm not sure if there is anything I can do, but if you see anything suspicious or if it gets worse, please let me know."
"Of course sheriff, thank you." The nun said.
A Few Hours Later.
"Mrs. Gold." Regina said coming round the corner. Emma didn't need to even look up, her voice said it all, Regina was not happy, and the scowl Emma saw when she did look up proved it. "I am here to tell you that with the passing of the sheriff, you will be filling that position, effective as of this moment." Regina said, smiling like she had been attacked by a mad plastic surgeon with a Botox injector.
"Thank you Madam Mayor." Emma said, feeling very smug.
"Yes well, just remember that I see so much as a quarter slip up from you, and you will be out of a job so fast your desk will be cleared five minutes before the slip up happened."
"Of course, have a nice day." Emma said, still feeling rather smug as Regina left.
"I wonder what would happen if she ever actually smiled." Dove said. "Would she go blind temporarily from the unusual use of mussels around her eyes, or are they so weak it would look like she was squinting." Emma laughed when he said that.
"Your guess is as good as mine." Emma said.
Gold's Study
"So how was your day?" Gold asked when Emma came home.
"It was boring mostly; Regina came by and officially made me sheriff, but otherwise not even a drunk Leroy, you?"
"I visited Michal, saw Henry, watched Regina kill a baby bunny by looking at it."
"Really?" Emma honestly wasn't sure if he was lying or not.
"No, but the creature did look ready to run into the nearest butchers shop and jump into the barbeque sauce. The rest of the day I was here setting up the stuff you bought." Gold said.
Over the trip Emma had convinced him to let him loan her a credit card and took him to a computer store. An hour latter and a bill that was far too short to have such a long number at the bottom and they had all sorts of things. Samsung Galley II smart phones, a computer with a 500GB and 64GB of RAM, odd as Gold didn't see any sheep involved, a 1080p monitor and a whole lot of bells and whistles, including a small office printer that had been delivered earlier. "I was about to test the blood tester kit, would you like to do the honors?"
Emma had also gotten some things for the station, saying every piece of technology in the station belonged in an 80's cop show. So a bit of begging and she managed to get things like a matching computer and monitor for her office, and a large office printer that from the way the sales person described it, could do anything with paper short of origami. Emma had also gotten some simple lab equipment, saying the stuff she had was pitiful. "Sure." Emma said pricking her finger on the tester. The blood tester was supposed to be state of the art, able with a drop of blood to detect all sorts of things, like alcohol to blood ratio, certain drugs in the system, it even said in big letters, 'PREGNACY TEST' know sooner now, and Emma was hoping it would work as advertised.
"Well, it said wait half an hour, so how do you feel about dinner?" Gold said.
"Sure." Emma and Gold went into the dining room.
The meal was wonderful. And Emma and Gold had gone to bed as soon as desert was finished. After a round or two they were sitting comfortably in bed. "So I talked to Dove today."
"Oh, what about?"
"Nothing much, he said you liked kids and that you hadn't looked at a girl after Belle died."
"Yes, well, in more way then one I blame myself."
"It wasn't your fault." Emma reassured him.
"I know, doesn't stop me from blaming myself. It's my first marriage, everyone would say it wasn't my fault that Millah was a lying, cheating whore, that I couldn't have prevented her leaving, but there is always that part of you in the back of your mind going on and on about how I could have stopped her from leaving. Granted, most of the logical options involved my untimely and unpleasant death, but I still think about it."
"Yeah, every once in a while I wonder if it was something about me that made my parents give me up. There is the part of me that says I wasn't important enough to them for them to even bother going to a house of hospital before abandoning me, but there is the other part that says they someone made my baby blanket, so someone had to love me, right."
"Have you ever wondered if they left you on the road because they loved you?" Gold asked.
"What."
"Well, let's let our Henry voice out for a moment. What if your parents loved you, they wanted what was best for you, but for some reason were not able to give it to you. Maybe they were in trouble with powerful people and were running for their lives or something."
"Really, running for their lives, from whom, the mob?"
"I said I was pretending to be Henry here." Gold said pointing. "Think about it, they drop you off on the side of the road because they had no better choice, or they did it because they knew a baby on the side of the road who make more headlines then a dropped off at a hospital, and they intended to come back so on a doorstep might make it so the people who found you got attached."
"I think it's cute your trying to make me feel better." Emma said kissing him.
"Well, do I win a participation prize?"
"Sure." Emma said smiling deviously.
It had been early the next morning when Gold came back into his study and saw that the blood test was finished. Emma was currently in the kitchen eating breakfast and Gold was having a lovely cup of Earl Grey. "Well, let's see the results." He said to himself.
Emma heard a crash come from the study, and in a flash she was at the door. In front of the monitor Gold was standing, his cup of tea in a thousand pieces on the floor. "Gold?" Emma said, but he just kept staring at the screen.
Slowly Emma made her way over and looked at the screen. When she saw the screen it was nothing special, just the report on her blood, everything was negative, except the thing at the bottom flashing...
Emma was suddenly glad she wasn't holding anything breakable.
LSD Negative
Ecstasy Negative
Opium Negative
Marijuana Negative
Cocaine Negative
Methamphetamine Negative
Heroin Negative
Alcohol Negative
Pregnant POSITIVE
You all knew it was coming, so here it is. Thanks to Twyla Mercedes and lozzy035, for your reviews and to Loki Holmes for reviewing old chaps.