Hey, so I know I've been away forever (like a month), but it's been one friggin' hectic month. My aunt's been in the hospital for the WHOLE month. I've been baby-sitting her daughter a lot, and when she's here I really can't get anything done. Lacey, the young daughter, and Christy, Lacey's older sister, has been staying here a lot, so as I said I haven't really been able to get anything done. I just got done typing and proofreading, so here's my latest offer. It's more a filler chapter than anything else.

Sin City

The first thing we did when we arrived at Bobby's was raid his medicine cabinet. I was in serious pain and I needed a reliever. Now.

I'd been semi-fine when I'd gone to sleep, but I must've moved wrong some time during the night because when I'd woken up I could barely move. I knew it was bad because Dean had started fretting over me just like he'd used to do. I didn't mind the fretting thing; it just reinforced the fact that he loved me even if he had sold his soul and was going to Hell. That hadn't changed how he felt about me no matter how he acted now. In the back of my mind I'd always known that, but I'd acted like a brat anyway.

Back to the present problem. My pain. Dean had pretty much sent me straight to bed and now he'd brought me two of something. Didn't know what it was; didn't care as long as it helped take the pain away. He brought me those and a glass of water. He actually had to help me sit up, which was embarrassing, and then when I'd taken the medicine he offered to sit with me until I fell asleep. I would fall asleep. I hadn't had to take pain killers in about a year, so they would definitely work.

"Once you're asleep me and Sam will help Bobby try and figure out how to fix the Colt. Then once you're feeling better, we'll look for another job."

"You don't…have to wait."

"Aly, you can't hunt when you're hurt."

I shook my head. "No, I know. That's not what I meant. What I meant was you don't have to wait because I'm not going with you."

I saw hurt flash in his eyes, but acceptance took its place quickly. Too quickly. Like he'd been waiting for me to say this, like he'd known all along that I would.

"Dean, I'm not leaving you," I said, a little aggravated. What would it take for him to realize I meant that? I wasn't like everyone else. "I just…after everything…I need a break. I need to be away from hunting for a couple days. I'd love for you to take a break, too, but I know you won't."

"I can't, but you should." Dean looked away from me and at the floor. "If that's what you need, then you should definitely do that."

I finally went to sleep; I didn't remember falling asleep, actually. I just remember waking up and it being completely dark in the room. I was already regretting telling Dean that I wasn't going on the next hunt with him and Sam, but I was going to stick to my decision.

I didn't want to be away from Dean because like I'd told him before…I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he…yeah. But I did want to get away from monsters and hunting and all that crap.

Also I wanted to see if I could focus on something other than Dean dying. I could help Bobby with the Colt or something. Take the time to get my head cleared, screwed back on right. I needed to take the time to repress all the negative feelings I was having so I could really be there for Dean for his remaining time. I needed to be able to put aside what I felt so I could be what he needed; whatever he needed. A friend, a girlfriend, a lover, whatever. I'd be what he needed and I wouldn't push for anything else. These last remaining months would be about him, not me. But to do that I needed a few days to prepare myself, to steady myself.

And I would do it. For him.

The next morning and two more pain pills later I was downstairs, kind of feeling high as a kite and I was attempting to watch Dean and Bobby work on the Colt. It had been taken apart and I assumed they were rebuilding it now. Dean was making bullets; too bad I wouldn't be able to remember what he was doing.

It wasn't that interesting anyway; I'd never really cared about the different parts because, to me, as long as my gun worked…I didn't need to know the anatomy of it.

"What're you even doing up, Aly?"

"Bored and…" I trailed off. "Just bored."

"Mm-hm. Not even a day off and you're bored already." Dean smiled at me; a genuine smile. "You sure you don't want us to wait for you?"

"No, I'm…I'll just hold you back. If you find a job…go."

"Okay," Dean said reluctantly.

I knew I was probably confusing him. I'd gone from completely ignoring him to being a brat. I'd even used Chris James, a guy I knew Dean didn't really care for so that he would feel a little of the pain I'd been feeling. I'd been a little bitch, was what I'd been. Oddly enough, it was a trickster - well, the Trickster - who had gotten me over that hurdle.

Then there'd been the time when he'd been ignoring me when I'd thought I'd done something wrong, but then I'd found out he'd been pushing me away for my own good.

I'd pushed him away and then brought him back in; he'd pushed me away and I'd refused to leave; I'd gone a little crazy and he'd put me back together again. And now I wanted a break. Yup, as I'd said…I was probably confusing him.

The front door opened and I turned to see that Sam had come in. I hadn't even known he'd been gone.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?" Dean asked.

"I might've found some omens in Ohio - dry lightning, barometric pressure drops."

"Well, that's thrilling," Dean quipped.

"Plus, some guy blows his head off in a church and another goes postal in a hobby shop before the cops take him out. Might be demonic omens."

"Or it could be a suicide and a psycho scrap booker."

"Yeah, but it's our best lead since Lincoln," Sam said.

"Where in Ohio?"

"Elizabethville - it's a half-dead factory town in the rust belt."

Dean shook his head. "There's gotta be a demon or two in South Beach."

I swatted his arm with my hand and he took on a half-mocking expression. "You know I can tell you're not up to full strength 'cause that usually hurts at least a little."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he grinned and a bad sense of déjà vu came over me. We used to do stuff like this all the time. We hadn't in a while. It felt good, but also…depressing at the same time.

"So, how's it goin', Bobby?" Sam asked, eyeing the Colt.

"Slow," Bobby said gruffly.

"Yeah, I'll tell you, it's a little sad seeing the Colt like that." Taken apart, stripped down to its bare essentials.

"The only thing it's good for now is figuring out what makes it tick," Bobby said.

"So what makes it tick?" Sam asked.

Bobby didn't answer; he just glared. Sam, being smart and all, let it go.

"So, if we wanna go check out these omens in Ohio, you think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?"

I could tell Dean had asked that question on purpose so I held back a smile. It was much more graceful than Sam's snort of laughter.

Then Bobby was glaring again. "Well, it won't kill demons by then, but I can promise it'll kill you."

Dean grinned openly and it sort of took my breath away. God, he was beautiful.

"All right, come on. We're wasting daylight."

"See ya," Sam said, then turned around and walked away.

Dean stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket. He stooped down and kissed my head.

"You feel better soon, okay?"

"Already on it," I promised.

"Hey. You run into anything - anything - you call me," Bobby said to Dean, to which Dean nodded. Then he was gone.

"So…" Bobby said from across the table, "not that you're not welcome or anything, but what made you wanna stay here?"

I scoffed. "Honestly? Because I need time to screw my head back on right. Because…when I'm around Dean I can't focus on getting back to me again. And I need to be me if I'm going to get through the next eight months."

Bobby didn't stop working on the Colt, but he did answer. "Well, in the end we all are who we are."

"That's not as helpful as you think it is," I said playfully. Because what if, without Dean, I didn't know who 'me' was.

First thing I learned was I still loved reading and just lazing around. I hadn't had a lot of time to do that for almost a year-and-a-half. It felt good. Although the only books Bobby had were about hunting and stuff like that. Eventually, I decided, when I was sober enough, that I needed to either go to the bookstore or to the library. Since I wasn't exactly unable to move I decided to take Jack's Charger…assuming Bobby hadn't sold it. He hadn't said anything about it, and I was 99% sure he wouldn't have sold it without asking me first.

"Hey, Bobby, do you still have my dad's Charger?"

"Round the back, why?"

"I wanted to go to the store."

"Well, the keys are in the ignition. Have been since you drove it last."

"Kay. Well, do you need anything while I'm out?"

Bobby shook his head. "Nope. Got everything I need right here."

"Cool. See ya later then."

I ended up at the nearest Wal-Mart instead of the nearest bookstore. I'd decided to just buy a laptop - I'd been without one since Jack had made me break mine. I smiled a little when I remembered I'd thrown it at his head.

Getting a laptop made more sense in the long run because carrying around books - useless books, anyway - wasn't something we could afford to do. We needed the space for books that would actually come in handy. So, yeah, laptop was the way to go. I could just pay to download books off the Internet. Easier and more convenient that way.

I didn't need a high dollar one, but I didn't want a really cheap one either; I didn't want one that was liable to crash in a few short months. The one I picked was a thin black one It was almost six-hundred dollars - some were in the thousand dollar price range and had to be ordered, which no…way too much for something that wasn't a car or something more useful

I filled the car up with gas on the way back to Bobby's. Money wasn't really an issue so I used Premium fuel.

Back at the house, I decided to have just something simple for dinner. Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. While I did that I let my new laptop charge up in my room. By the time dinner was done Bobby had the Colt and another Colt laid bare on the table in his living room; AKA: the book room. He was trying to see what the difference was between them aside from the markings.

"So…you don't seem to have your head screwed on wrong. Why'd you say you did?"

"Look…I haven't been around you much since…but with everything going on with Dean…I haven't been myself. Dean needs me - the real me - and I've just been…so…self-centered, which isn't like me at all."

"Self-centered? How?"

"Thinking only about my pain, not thinking about how Dean must feel. Scared, possibly alone."

"He would never let you know if he did feel that way."

"I know. But the old me would've noticed it anyway. That's what I did. Noticed things about Dean and then we talked about it when Sam wasn't around. Then I wouldn't bring it up again unless he did. That's how it worked." That's how we worked. I was his outlet when he wouldn't confide in Sam.

"Well, maybe he's not the only one who needs to talk about things," Bobby said carefully. "Maybe you both need to talk. To each other."

"No, no, no. I've focused on me for way too long. I need to -"

"You're not the only one who notices things," Bobby cut me off. "You think Dean can't see that you're dying inside? Hell, I can see it and I'm not around you all that much. But he won't mention it. Not unless you do."

Right. Because he more the suffer-in-silence type.

"I'll think about it." I didn't want to go on a cry-fest in front of Dean, but if I brought it up, I knew that was what would happen.

That night and half of the next day was spent downloading books. Most were fiction-based-on-fact books like Dan Brown books. Da Vinci Code; Angels and Demons. I tried to stay way from fantasy and horror and all that other junk. I lived a horror story, I didn't need to read about it, too.

Now Bobby and I were out in the back yard, past the car lot part. It was a really nice place that I hadn't even known was there. Point was, it was pretty.

The weather was nice, had the little October chill in the air; the scenery was beautiful, too. The sun was shining; the trees were that pretty forest green that you only see in movies. There was a small creek nearby and the water was crystal clear, running over rocks that looked smooth enough to lay on.

It would've been completely peaceful - hm, the concept of peace was completely foreign to me now - had it not been for Bobby having target practice about twenty feet away. He'd finally put both the Colts back together and had been fiddling with the thing for about an hour out here. He'd tied sand bags with red targets on them to a tree. It seemed that either Bobby was losing his touch or the alignment was off with the gun. Probably the latter.

Either way, I'd come out here with him because he'd asked me to and he'd thought I'd like it here. He was right. I wondered if Dean had ever been out here. If not, I'd definitely show him when he got back. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd appreciate it nonetheless.

I was sitting on a nearby log reading when the air pretty much shifted and I got that bad-chill vibe. I set my laptop aside and stood up.

"Cute piece," a female voice said. It was familiar though I hadn't heard it in a while. Ruby. She was standing in front of Bobby's sand bag in a red leather jacket - well, more a russet color, actually - black jeans and a shirt. Same smug look on her face that was always there.

"I remember you. What're you doin' here?" Bobby asked.

Ruby ignored the question. "Won't stop a demon, if that's what you think."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Oh, I dunno." She blinked and when she opened her eyes they were black. "Call it an educated guess."

"Well, ain't I lucky then?" Bobby said. "I've found a subject for a test fire."

Ruby laughed while I debated whether or not I should interfere. It didn't matter to me whether the Ruby-demon lived or died. I could care less. But what if Bobby shot her and it didn't kill her? Wouldn't if piss her off so bad she'd want revenge?

"Luck had nothing to do with it. But hey, by all means, take your best shot." She spread her arms out, offering Bobby every chance to shoot. He didn't move. Ruby rolled her eyes, her arms falling to her sides. "Are you gonna stand there like a pantywaist, or are you gonna shoot me!"

And so Bobby shot her. Only…nothing happened. Apart from the bullet causing a hole to form in Ruby's shirt…there was nothing. She didn't even bleed. My mind flashed back to Meg, though, and I knew that appearances could be deceiving. Meg had been fine, too, until we'd exorcised her. The demon had been the only thing keeping her alive, and I was sure that was the case here. Bobby had hit the heart. The human girl Ruby was possessing would be dead within seconds if Ruby left her body now.

"Ouch. That smarts a little," Ruby said sarcastically.

"What d'you want?" Bobby asked.

Ruby stepped forward and I stepped closer to Bobby. I trusted her about as far as I could physically throw her.

"Peace on Earth," she quipped, though she sounded serious. But demons didn't really want that. Right? "A new shirt," she added, grabbing onto the material. She stopped moving when she was standing right in front of Bobby. "Now, do you want me to help you out with that gun or not."

Bobby looked like he didn't believe his ears - a demon wanted to help us. Had to have a motive, right?

"That gun's pretty much useless now. You need another one. And regular bullets won't work."

"What do we have to do to the bullets?" I asked, finally speaking.

"We're gonna cast a little spell." She smirked my way. "Hello, Aly. Nice to see you again."

"Hm. I'd say the same thing to you but we both know that would be a fib. And don't call me Aly." How dare she use Dean's name for me? It wasn't hers to use.

"Wait a minute, you two know each other?" Bobby asked incredulously. He stared at me like he didn't know me. "You're hanging out with a demon now?"

"We're not friends or anything. And we don't hang out…she…" I sighed. "She saved Sam's and my life in Lincoln…she keeps coming back for some reason. She said she could help save Dean."

"She's lying," Bobby said automatically.

"She's right here," Ruby complained. "Now, are we gonna get to work or what?"

"Or what," I answered. "Let me heal you first."

Ruby shook her head and almost looked regretful. "You can't heal me, Alyson. You can't heal a demon. It's not what your abilities are for; you can't do it."

"Well, then leave the body so I can heal her."

"You'll never save her in time. You won't be able to get the bullet out fast enough."

So this girl was pretty much dead already, and it was my fault because I hadn't gotten rid of her when I'd had the chance. Now, it really didn't matter, I guessed.

Back at the house Bobby had a hard time letting Ruby in. I didn't blame him, good or semi-good demon or not.

"Look, I can't help you from out here." she said, exasperated. "I could've killed you already if I'd wanted to. I don't."

Eventually we let her in and we carefully avoided all the Devil's Traps and stuff like that. We went to the work table in the living room.

"So get to fixin' it," Bobby said harshly. He handed her the Colt he'd compared the Colt to.

"I'm gonna need the material to make bullets.

She had to melt them and everything? Really? Why couldn't she just buy some and do the mojo on them?

When I voiced the question, however, she said, "I told you they had to be special bullets. I have to make them."

Well, yeah, I'd known they needed to be special, but I didn't know that meant making them.

"Fine. Wait here," Bobby said.

He left the room, leaving me and Ruby there in uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable for me anyway - Ruby didn't look too ruffled.

"So, why are you even worried about the Colt, anyway?" Ruby asked. "With all your juice you don't need a weapon. You are the weapon."

True enough.

I looked away. "You can never be too careful."

"Uh-huh, and Dean wants you to be careful. Right? Not use your abilities unless you have to? He's…putting a leash on you, and you're letting him?"

"He's not. He just doesn't want -"

"He doesn't want you getting too strong is what it is," she interrupted. "He's afraid you won't need him anymore. But, gee, I think that's kind of selfish of him seeing as to how he thinks he's gonna die."

"That's not why," I seethed. I didn't like the way she was talking to me, in that stupid mocking voice of hers. "I was -" so not gonna explain this to her. It was none of her business anyway. But that wasn't why he'd done what he'd done. Besides, it wouldn't matter how strong I became, I would always need Dean. Part of the problem I was having; needing Dean yet focusing on losing him.

"Okay, so," Bobby said, stepping back into the room. "What now?"

"Now, we melt the metal," Ruby explained. "Oh, and uh -" she grabbed a bowl from the table and pulled it close to her. "This." She then pulled me to her and sliced my wrist open - vain and all. She squeezed as hard as she could to pour my blood in the bowl. I noticed she'd used her demon-killing knife. More importantly though…

"Ow. What the hell?"

"Need it for the spell," Ruby said.

"Could've just asked," I remarked. "Jeeze."

"Yeah, but then you would've asked why and what for and we don't have time."

"Well, then, you could've warned me."

"Oh, shut up, you'll heal fine. Might take a few minutes…but still."

I clenched my jaw but decided to let it go. If it would make the Colt work again, or help the new one work, or whatever the hell she was doing, then I supposed it was worth it. But I would definitely be destroying whatever blood was leftover. I sure as hell wasn't letting Ruby or any other demon get hold of it.

That night Bobby got a call from Sam and he'd found some sulfur and now Dean was missing. He'd left with some bartender and her place was where the sulfur had been. And really? I was away for a couple days and he's already finding trouble? Probably because he wasn't as reckless when I was around. Also he didn't go off with random chicks when I was around. He'd had a reason, I was sure. We'd gotten past the whole him-flirting-with-other-girls-just-to-hurt-me thing.

"Okay, well, we should go then, if -" I began.

"I can get us there faster," Ruby said. "Won't take but a couple seconds."

Us? She was a part of us now?

"No way. I already feel bad from you bleedin' me earlier." The mark had healed, but there was still a white line there - a scar, I guessed.

"I can do a locating spell. Go to the exact place Dean is. You can't do it on your own."

Fuck. I hated whenever she said something like that. Really, she could transport us in, like, five seconds; whereas it would take me and Bobby all night to drive there. Double fuck.

"Fine, but any funny business, any at all -"

"Yeah, yeah. You'll kill me right and proper. Sing a new tune, why don't you?"

Bobby grabbed the Colt, which already had bullets in it, and then Ruby grabbed me with one hand and Bobby with the other. Then my world was spinning. Everything went black for about five seconds; I felt like I was being suffocated; it felt like my heart was being squeezed inside my chest; my brain felt like it was going to explode inside my skull.

Demon transportation obviously didn't agree with me. All that happened in five seconds. And when we landed I ended up on my knees vomiting up my dinner from the night before. The pressure that had been building slowly faded away.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Bobby yelled, kneeling down beside me.

"I didn't do anything," Ruby answered. "Why am I to blame?"

"You're the only black-eyed chick here."

"It's not my fault she doesn't travel well," Ruby snarked. "Let's go."

Oh, yes, leave me here to try and breathe through my own vomit.

Once my stomach was empty, I stood up weakly. We were near an old -old - house and the Impala was here, so that meant Dean was too, or had been at one point.

"You good?" Bobby asked.

"Now that I'm empty, yeah."

"Dean!" Sam's voice from somewhere - the back, maybe.

"You good to check the house?" Bobby again.

"Yeah." I took a deep breath to steady myself and then just pretty much walked through the front door. Wasn't even locked.

I steadied myself again and then reached outward to Dean. No, it wasn't a locating spell, but it worked just as well. He was downstairs, a basement, I assumed. I began walking and made it to a stairway and then…it was blocked at the bottom. Rocks, like the ceiling had collapsed.

"Dean?" I called out. I could feel there was a demon on the other side of the stones. With Dean.

"Aly? What're you doin' here?"

"Sam called, said you were missing. Bobby and I came as quick as we could."

"What, did you travel through a black hole? I've only been missing for a couple hours."

"I - we… I'll explain later. Gotta get you outta here first."

"Gotta say I agree with you there." Male voice from behind me. I never got the chance to see who it was, though, because suddenly it was lights out for me.

The first thing I heard when I came to was a bang and then "Sam, wait!" - Dean's voice - and then another bang.

I opened my eyes and groaned as pain flashed through my head. I had been knocked out again it seemed. And I felt sick again, too. Actually, my whole body ached…it was kind of how I imagined the flu would feel like.

I saw that some of the stones had been removed from the pile - enough for me to get through if I could only move.

The freakishly tall form that was Sam was suddenly squatting down beside me.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, scooping me up in his arms, which I was okay with because I couldn't move.

"No," I said honestly. "Dean?"

"I'm okay," his voice came from a few feet away. "I'm okay." Two sets of arms were clutching at me now. "I've got her, Sam. Give her to me." There was something in Dean's voice…something I couldn't really place. Worry? Desperation? Whatever it was, Dean didn't want Sam holding me.

Sam let go once he was sure I was secure, and then I was surrounded by the reassuring presence that was Dean. My arms instantly went around his neck and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Hey," I whispered. "What happened?"

"Long story. Let's take care of you first, huh?"

"Kay."

The walk back outside was quick but silent. The tense kind of silence, not the comfortable silence. Something had happened. I'd missed something while I'd been out.

"Open the door, Sam." Meaning the car door, I assumed. Then I was being placed in the backseat. "First aid kit, Sammy."

"First aid?" I was pretty fine; wasn't I fine?

"You're not healing, Aly. You're head's bleeding pretty bad."

I wasn't healing? I brought my had up to wipe at my head and winced because - ouch, the wound was still there.

"Why aren't you -" Dean broke off abruptly and grabbed my arm. "What the hell is that?"

"What the hell is what?" I asked.

"This." He ran his fingers over my wrist, over the line that had been left behind from Ruby's knife. "What the hell? Are you…hurting yourself now? Is that why you wanted us to leave you with Bobby?"

I looked away because, honestly, I'd thought about it. Thought about letting the pain go by letting my blood flow free. Thought about how it would feel to let it go, all of it. But I never would. Partly because I was scared to, partly because Sam would need me when…Dean was gone.

"Hey, you better answer me!" Dean half-yelled. Now I knew there was worry in his voice, but it was a different kind of worry than it had been before. This was the kind of worry that made Dean angry.

I glared at him, or glared as well as I could while I was feeling so bad. "What if I was? Hm? What exactly would you do about it?"

Dean clenched his jaw and I saw hurt flash across his face. I instantly regretted my words; so much for being whatever he needed me to be. His hand tightened painfully around my wrist, but I accepted it as my punishment for hurting him. A few seconds later, he realized what he was doing and he let go and sighed. His eyes were hard as Sam handed Dean the first aid kit.

"This isn't over," he said to me. "When we get back to the motel, we're gonna talk."

Dean was rougher than usual when he was taking care of me. I didn't blame him. I'd hurt him again; seemed like I was doing that constantly lately. Seemed like my most powerful ability lately was saying hurtful things.

Back at the motel Dean rented out another room; it seemed he was serious about having a talk with me.

"Sit down," he said, leading me to the bed.

I'd gotten a little of my strength back, enough to stand up and walk. My head was still pounding and I was shaky, but I was going to be fine. I was pretty sure, anyway. But Dean had been right; I wasn't healing. I didn't know why.

I sat like he wanted me to and began looking at the floor. Wasn't really taking anything in, just staring at anything but Dean. I was pretty sure I was being stupid. Why didn't I just tell him the truth? Dean would appreciate that more than this - this hiding things from him.

"What happened?" he asked, voice hard. When I didn't answer, he grabbed my arm and made me look at him. "Alyson Daniels, answer me!"

And okay, he was treating me like a kid because I was acting like one, so… But still, it grated on my nerves.

"I didn't hurt myself, if that's what you're thinking," I said. "I'm not that brave."

That didn't soften Dean's face at all. "Well, if you didn't do it, then who did?"

I looked away again and his hand dropped from my face. I heard him sigh. He was aggravated, probably trying to keep from losing his patience too much.

"Okay, so we're back to you not talking to me. What's wrong? Is it because I got stuck with that demon? I knew she was a demon, I was totally planning on exorcising her, but she kinda destroyed my book."

"I'm not mad at you, Dean," I said quickly; I had to make sure that he knew this - me acting this way - wasn't his fault. It was all me. "But if I tell you about how I got a scar there, you're gonna be mad."

He squatted down in front of me so I would have to look at him and I saw confusion written all over his face. When he spoke his voice was softer now. "Why? Is it because you did do it? Because if that's the case I won't be mad. I'll be worried because my girlfriend is hurting herself. And, Aly, no matter what happens to me, you're not allowed to do that, okay?"

"I'm not. That's not why you're gonna be mad. It was…" God, when had talking to him become like pulling teeth? "It was Ruby."

"Ruby? The demon Ruby?"

"Uh-huh." I sighed. "She stopped by Bobby's when I was there. Helped fix a Colt up for us. Different Colt, different bullets. She needed my blood for the spell. She cut me with her knife."

Dean was tense now. "That's how you guys got there so fast, isn't it. Demon airlines?"

"Yeah," I whispered, a total contrast to the volume and gruffness of his voice. "I've been feeling sick ever since we got to, well, where we landed."

"Damn it, Aly," he near shouted and his voice reverberated through my head. "That's probably why you're not healing. Getting cut with a knife that's used to kill demons? It's probably got leftover demon gunk on it. And now it's making you sick. And she probably did it on purpose."

I flinched as he stood up and his voice began rising. I'd told him he'd be mad.

"Why would you let her do that, anyway? It's obviously draining you, and you don't even know if she -"

"Could you please stop yelling at me? My head is, like, killing me, okay? And your voice is, like, making my brain hurt. So if you wanna give me a lecture, fine. But do it quietly. And for the record, I didn't let her do anything. She just did it. Grabbed my arm and started slicing."

That shut Dean up for about three seconds and then I realized I maybe shouldn't have said what I'd said. Now he was even angrier. Only now he realized he'd been angry at the wrong person.

"She did what?" He wasn't yelling anymore, his voice was controlled, but the anger was present in his voice nonetheless. Even more so, actually.

"Yeah…she did exactly what I just said."

"And she's still breathing?"

"Um, well, technically…I don't think demons breathe, so -"

"You know what I mean!" Dean almost yelled again. "Is she still walking about making a nuisance of herself?"

"Yes," I said, looking away. "I mean, Dean, I get it, you want her gone, and, hey, I'm with you on that now. But she helped us with the Colt. At least we're getting something out of this."

"Yeah, and, uh, you what she's got? Your blood." Dean sat down but then got up again. "Do you know what she could to with your blood? Nothing good, that's for sure."

"She doesn't have my blood. I cleaned the knife myself and the blood that wasn't used, I destroyed it myself." I'd used bleach on the knife, and I'd pretty much burnt the remaining blood away.

"Hm." Dean calmed down a little. He was still angry, though.

"Dean, do you really think I would just hand over my blood to a demon?" I shook my head. "No, I'm smarter than that."

"Hm."

Things were silent for a few minutes and then I turned to face him. I needed to tell him something. I hadn't said it yet and it needed to be said.

"Dean, you know I'm here, right? I mean, I know I've been a brat to you lately. Some of it I did on purpose, some of it…not so much. But I'm here for you. So if you wanna talk or…I won't judge you or mess with you…I'll just be me and I'll listen."

I knew that he wouldn't talk about it right now, he would need time to sort through what I'd said and make sure I'd meant it and then maybe we'd talk.

"So…What happened here?" I asked, changing the subject.

Dean shook his head. "Humans. Demons didn't do anything this time." He shrugged. "I mean, sure, they may have helped bring some of the stuff here, but they didn't really do anything."

"Stuff? What'd they bring?"

"Ya know, gambling and alcohol and all that other stuff."

"You mean stuff that can destroy a good person, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Dean, humans are…" I didn't know the right thing to say here. "They're, um…they make choices. Sometimes the wrong ones. They…bury the pain with alcohol and sex and…" I stopped talking; there wasn't really much I could say.

"Demon I was stuck with said demons are gonna take over. That they'll win because…we're weak. They're stronger."

Dean was buying into that? Of course he was, because Dean didn't have faith. Dean didn't believe that good things were real, and if they were, they were soon destroyed. Or they destroyed themselves.

"Some humans are weak," I agreed. "But some of them are strong and good. Some of them shine like the sun." I was looking at one of them right now.

"But is it true? That demons will…inherit the earth or whatever?"

"They'll fight for it, sure," I said. "They'll fight and when they start to lose, they'll try and destroy it. But they won't win. As long as people continue to fight, they won't win."

Dean looked like he was considering that and then he opened his mouth to say something; he closed his mouth again instead.

"What?"

"Will you?" he asked softly. There was guilt and regret hidden beneath the surface of his voice, but I could hear it anyway. "Will you keep fighting?"

I let out a little breath of pain and swallowed tightly. "I guess I'll have to, Dean. Don't have much of a choice one way or the other."

I'd have to whether he was here or not.

Okay, so this is 12 pages (or if you're counting front and back then 24, but still...) I will try and get more updates faster, but I can't promise because everything so hectic and hard right now. Anyway, enjoy