Chapter 18

Tris

It's strange, being back in Abnegation. The environment, the streets, the people, it all brings back so many memories. Walking by the houses, I realize that this was Tobias home not to long ago too. I look at him. He looks nervous, but still calm in a way. Even though I told Tobias the opposite, I really don't know what to expect from my parents. Despite the fact that we live in different factions and that they don't really have any right to have a valid opinion, they're still my parents. All a girl wants from her parents is their blessing. "You okay?" I ask him, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yeah."

I knock three times, and it feels odd. I never thought I would knock on my own door. This is it. No turning back. Tobias squeezes my hand when the door opens. She's still beautiful, and it's a shame Abnegation vanity rules prevent her from showing it. Her smile reveals wrinkles near her eyes that weren't there the last time I saw her. Has it really been that long? She has her hair tied in a knot and her usual grey clothing.

"Beatrice." She embraces me in her arms and laughs against my cheek. When she pulls away I can see tears in her eyes. "Look at you."

"Hi mom."

Her eyes shift to Tobias. "Hello," she says and reaches out her hand. "Nice to see you again Four."

He smiles, takes her hand and nods. "You too Mrs. Prior."

"Well," she says and releases his hand. "Come in. I'll fix us something to eat."

We walk in and she disappears into the kitchen. There are too many feelings about being back here. The memories are countless.

"How do you feel?" Tobias says.

"Overwhelmed."

"Yeah, I can understand that."

We sit down on the couch in the living room.

"Okay kids. I baked some bread yesterday. Hope that will do."

"It's great Mrs. Prior, thank you," Tobias says as my mom sits down.

She hands me a slice of bread. "Where's dad?" I say and take a bite. The taste is familiar, plain, and I realize all the good food I missed out on when I was still living here.

"He's working. He'll be home later." She smiles a little. "Now tell me, what brings you two here?"

"Um." I look at Tobias. "I just wanted to see you… and," I clear my throat, "tell you that…"

"Tobias," Tobias says.

My mom frowns. "Tobias?" Then she raises her eyebrows. "Oh, so that's your real name?"

"Yes."

"I see."

They stare at each other, in a strangely unusual way.

"Anyway," say to break the silence. "The reason I brought Tobias was to tell you that… we are seeing each other now."

She looks at me. "Really? Isn't he your instructor Beatrice?"

"Was my instructor, but…"

Tobias interrupts. "We didn't plan this. It just happen, but I do love your daughter."

Mom smiles. "As long as you're happy Beatrice," she says and takes my hand.

"I am."

"Okay then." She puts her hands on her knees. "You have my blessing."

I sigh with relief. That's all I wanted. We sit there and talk for a while. I never thought I would have a mother, daughter, boyfriend conversation, like Christina calls it. I hope telling dad will go as smoothly.

"Okay, let me just take care of this." My selfless mother. "Why don't you take a look around the house? It's been a while since you were here Beatrice."

"Yeah okay."

"Actually, let me help you with that," Tobias says and picks up the plates.

"Oh, alright. That's very thoughtful of you," mom says with a thankful smile. They go in to the kitchen and I walk up to my room.

Tobias

I set the plates down on the counter. Now's the time to say something, but before I get chance to say anything, Natalie speaks.

"I know who you are, Tobias." She smiles. "How could I forget?" She recognizes me, even though I've changed so much. I wasn't sure if she did when she came to Dauntless on visiting day. After all of these years, she still remembers me. She walks over and wraps her arms around my shoulders. It's strange, Abnegation usually doesn't use physical touches, but I hug her back anyway. "How are you?" She says and pulls away.

"I'm good. Tris makes everything a lot better."

She smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "She's got a new life now." I nod.

Then her face expression suddenly changes and her look worries me. She leans in closer. "Tobias. You're in danger." She says it so quietly that it takes me a second to realize what she said.

"What are you talking about?

"I can't say. You father is trying to fix it. He's been gone for almost a week now. I can't tell you what it's about. Not now."

"Natalie…"

"No, you're just gonna have to trust me. Come back here again on Saturday, 5 pm. You can't tell Beatrice. She's also in danger."

"Wait, what?" I say, too loud.

"Shh!" She sighs. "I'm sorry Tobias. You have to trust me."

"You're asking me to lie to Tris?"

"Yes, you have to. We can't talk about this anymore. Now, go up to Beatrice and tell her that you two have to leave. You shouldn't be here when her dad gets home." She brushes my cheek with her soft narrow fingers. "You've become such a strong man Tobias. It will be okay. Trust me."

I nod slowly, turn around and walk up the stairs. How could I lie to Tris?

When I reach the top of the stairs, I stop and look around. Abnegation houses look very similar. I hear something behind one of the doors and walk over to it. I turn the doorknob slowly and push the door open. Tris is sitting on the bed, holding a book in her hands. "This was the first book I ever got. It only contains pictures. You're supposed to make your own future story." She looks up and smiles. "I would've never imagined having this life."

"Yeah I know. Life's crazy," I say. "But, we should go. We don't wanna be late for truth or dare," I say.

She looks at me and for a moment I think that she will know something's up. "Yeah. I just need a minute."

"Sure."

Tris

He leaves the room and I'm alone again. I think about Caleb. I wonder if he's been back here since the choosing ceremony. His choice to leave Abnegation for Erudite was just as big of a shock for me as it was for my parents. Maybe he can't come back because of his new faction. I know Erudite isn't too fond with Abnegation, and I don't know their rules for visiting your old faction. For some strange reason, my gut tells me that they never underestimate our statement: Faction before blood.

I take one last look around before I walk down again. My mom and Tobias are standing at the door waiting.

"Ready to go?" Tobias says.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

Mom takes my hand in hers and hugs me. "I love you sweet girl. Don't forget about us in Dauntless, okay?" She laughs a little.

"I won't. I couldn't. Tell dad I said hi okay?"

"I will." She looks at Tobias. "Goodbye Tobias. It was lovely to see you again."

"And you too Mrs. Prior."

She shakes her head. "Natalie."

"Natalie." He smiles a little.

I take Tobias hand and we leave the house. My house. Mom waves as we walk down the street.

Tobias stops just after a few feet. "What? What is it?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Could we stop by my house as well?"

"Yeah, of course. But isn't Marcus there?"

"No, he's gone this week."

"How do you know that?" I ask frowning.

"Um, I asked your mother."

"Alright then. Lead the way."

He takes my hand and we walk over to a house not to far away. He reaches for something under the doormat. A key. He unlocks the door and we go inside. I'm not sure what to say, so I just follow him up stairs.

"I wanna show you something."

When we reach a room, his bedroom, he hesitates before opening the door.

"It's okay," I say.

He turns the doorknob and pushes the door open. The first thing I see is a blue sculpture on a desk by the window. The sun hits it like a light source, creating blue reflections all over the walls. Tobias walks over to the desk and picks it up.

"I got this from my mother when she was still alive. She said it didn't do anything special, but that it might in my room. At the time I didn't know what she meant." I stand next to him. "After that I started to collect, what other people would have called useless, objects in a trunk under my bed. When my father found it, he said it was self-indulgence. That was the last time he hit me. The choosing ceremony was the next day so I put this sculpture here before we left the house. Somehow I knew I would leave this faction for good, so I left it as a souvenir of my freedom. To remind Marcus everyday that he could no longer control me." He frowns. "I don't think he's been in here since." He looks down. Again, I'm not sure what to say. "My point is; you are my freedom Tris." He turns to me. "You remind me of how to live my life, and what it all means and why I'm here. Everyday you help me breath, by just being you." He takes my face between his hands and kisses me softly. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Doing this here, should feel strange, but it doesn't. It feels like we're both fully exposed to one another as our true selves.

"Thank you for telling me that," I say.

"I want you to know me."

I smile and kiss him again. I never thought loving someone so much it hurts was possible, but with him it is. Every muscle in my body aches when he holds me. An electric shock goes through my veins when he kisses me. My skin is on fire every time he touches me. I am his, and he is mine, and it has always been that way.1

1 Quote: Veronica Roth, the author of the Divergent trilogy.

See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s