CHAPTER TWWWWWOOOOO! Nothing in this chapter makes sense, YAY.

Guest 1: thanks!

Disney Syndulla: ITS RIGHT HERE OMGEE I KNOW RIGHT

Guest 2: thanks for the encouragement! I actually meant trouble with editing and a certain user who got onto me about not being allowed to post reader inserts? *shrugs* I've actually got three chapters and a half already written, so writers block isn't too big a deal. I just want yallsinput!

"*Put it on my tab, Grillbz!" Sans called, raising one hand slightly at the receding fire monster. The two of you dug into fries and burgers, though Sans mostly gulped ketchup. It was like the fires were the condiment on the ketchup, not the other way.
You laughed a little, even though it wasn't anything new to you. "*hm? You gonna ketch me up?"

"Sans, I'm not sure that counts as a pun."

"*I spelled it right."

"Mmmm nah. I condiment."

"*I mustard you wrong. I relish in the fact that all my puns are valid."

"It seems we're in a bit of a pickle, because that is just plain baloney! Don't go all cold turkey on me, you cheddar box. You keep loafing around making puns and Papyrus will just keep fussing!"

By the end of your pun-filled little paragraph, both of you were trying to stay upright on your bar stools, giggling like school girls. Which, to be honest, one of you kind of was. Did college count? Whatever.

Soon enough, it was time for class. "*See you later, (y/n)."

"See ya, Shorty!" You waved goodbye to Sans- your first night class was literature, not QP- and made your way to the lecture hall. There was half an hour until you had to be there, but the teacher was fun to hang out with. "Hey! You!"

"Hm?" You turned, looking to see who had called you. Two teenagers ran up. Jocks. Immediately you masked your dislike with a smile. "Hello. How can I help you?" One of them, a handsomely tanned boy with black hair, narrowed his eyes while the blond one
stayed silent. "You aren't... actually friendly to that monster, right? You're just being nice because otherwise he'll give you a bad grade." Your smile disappeared. Monster haters. The worst kind of bullies.

"I'll have you know, sir, that that monster is my best friend, his name is Sans, and he will certainly give me a bad grade, nice or not, unless I do my work well." You replied fearlessly, staring them down... despite being shorter than both by a good
few inches. Wordlessly they glanced at each other, seeming to come to an agreement. TallTan grabbed one arm while his friend Blondie took the other, and despite your protests they half dragged, half carried you into the gym, which wasn't being used
currently as it was being renovated.

"Let me go! This isn't funny you jerks!" You snapped, clawing Blondie's arm on accident. (or that's what you claim, anyway.) Finally they did let go, but it did you no good. You were in a corner and they were facing you. Welp. Trapped again.

"Look, we know you've been having trouble with that skeleton, Gaster." Blondie started. "And we're pretty sure that the small one agreed to 'help you out' in exchange for... we don't know, a human comrade maybe? You tell us. But we're here to help you
out for real! No more dealing with either of them! If you let us know stuff about them, when they're weak, when we can... talk... to them alone, away from any other monsters who could help, then we can make sure they never blackmail you into pretending
to like them ever again."

You didn't reply for a very long time, slack-jawed in awe... at their stupidity. Blackmailing? Pretending? Suddenly you get it. Riiiiight! They were monster haters, you'd known that earlier. But they... Slowly, you drew yourself up to your full
height, no matter how impressive or not it was. You took a deep breath in, closing your (e/c) eyes, before exhaling and opening them again together.

"Listen to me very carefully." They leaned forward. So did another figure, but neither TallTan, Blondie, nor you saw him. "If you ever, and I DO mean EVER, even THINK about getting near Sans or so help me of HURTING him, I will END you
so fast you won't even have time to say 'touchdown'. And of course you'll have a hard time believeing a little nerd can do that. But don't worry, I can. And even if I can't..." you grinned with a wink. "I've got monster friends. Get lost." Then
you slipped by them, walking quickly, but not too quickly, away.

One...

Two...

Three...

"GET BACK HERE!"

TIME TO RUN!

You dashed around construction equipment, with hostile humans close behind. They were athletes, and you for sure were not. There was no way you could outrun them, at least, not on open ground! Shoving several items in their way while you ran, you kept
making turns and twisting down corridors so as not to stay in a straight line.

You were already almost out of breath. What will they do? you wonder, though not fearfully. They can't hurt me or kill me, it's not like they're actually dangerous.

...Right?

Oh well, it doesn't matter. You skidded around the next corner, then tried to scramble back. TallTan was running up from in front, and right on your heels was Blondie. There had to be some- THERE! You dashed into an open door, slamming it shut
and locking it. Immediately two bodies slammed against it, banging and shouting furiously for your to open up. Breathing a sigh of relief, you looked around for a window. Then you sighed.

It was a broom closet.

There was only one more thing that could possibly make this more cliché, but you had to check... pulling out your phone, you let out another long sigh. No signal. Of course.

"*Need a hand?" You let out an undignified screech, jumping about two feet into the air as you turned to face the intruders who had somehow gotten in. "OH HECK NO GET OUT." You shouted, pointing furiously at Gaster. "WHAT THE HE- ahem,
excuse me." You coughed, recovering your dignity before continuing. "Are you here to make fun of me?" Gaster opened his mouth, paused, then smirked. "*Yes."

"Get it over with then. I'm busy at the moment." You rolled your hand dismissively, in the universal 'get on with it' signal while you looked around for a weapon against the two Hulks outside, still slamming on that door. "Wait. Did you offer to HELP?"
You asked, whirling back to look at the tall skeleton in disbelief. He HAD said that, right?

Gaster had his hands in his pockets, looking down at you from so close you two were touchingin the extremely enclosed space, with one raised eyebone and an amused look one gives a... a pet... Who's doing something cute. "Don't do that!"
You snapped, red tinting your cheeks.

You KNOW that's what he was thinking, that's what he was ALWAYS thinking! And it's not fair, because if you accept his help then he was right, you DO need a monster to protect you, but if you decline he'll leave and he won't tell Sansand
you'll have to deal with the jerks alone.

You REALLY hated Gaster. So much.

"*I did, pet." And then. He petted. YOUR HEAD. With that ever-smug smirk on his face. So you did what any self-respecting human would do.

You took one step to the side, unlocked the door. And opened it.

The look of shock on that skeleton's face as he was grabbed by the hunks of stupid meat was worth it. You'd finally managed to change that expression! And, you learned from Sans, skeletons can teleport with other people but they don't have a choice
in it. If you're touching them, they can't leave you behind. So you knew Gaster wouldn't get out of THIS by vanishing.

Good.

You peeked out from around the door and frowned. Revenge was great, but... Of course, Gaster was holding his own fine. By no means was he losing. Still... you looked down the hall and saw that one of them had called for help earlier, and at least three
other guys were coming fast.

You hated Gaster. So much. But him getting into a fight like this, while common, was never good. You knew he could handle five guys, no problem. But the five guys couldn't handle HIM. And having blood on your hands, either way, wasn't cool.
(And Sans would get trouble from this.)

You grabbed the best weapon you could find- a broom- and stepped out of the closet. All three were facing away from you. Luckily, you tended to watch Jackie Chan movies whenever you were cleaning your apartment, so of course whenever a bo staff scene
came up you would do it with your broom. As a result.. you could... sort of fight? At least enough to accurately hit the correct two heads enough to daze them. Gaster raised an eyebrow at you, grinned, then winked. "*Good girl!" He vanished
before hearing all the insults you threw. The reinforcements were arriving.

"Oh... well, shoot." You muttered as they halted, looking at you, then their friends getting up from the floor. "*Ah! I almost forgot." Someone grabbed the collar of your shirt and yanked you backwards. By the time you got your balance back, you
were right outside the lecture hall. "*Told ya you needed a monster to look out for you, pet~" Turning to give him a piece of your mind was a waste of time, as Gaster had already disappeared. "Was there even a POINT to that?! Did you appear JUST to
get on my nerves?" You growled at the air, walking in right on time for class.

You just didn't know what was wrong with that idiot skeleton.

You and Sans met up a few minutes before class to talk. "Hey! Sans! You won't believe what I did earlier!" You shouted, bouncing up excitedly.

Remember how you wanted to be a novelist? Well, naturally, being a writer and all... you've always wanted to have an extraordinary adventure! When the monsters came down from Mt. Ebott, it was a dream come true. And when you became so close to the Ambassador
and her family?! Even COOLER! But nothing really exciting had happened, not since Gaster had gone all typical prick that night, so what had happened earlier wasn't scary. Quite the opposite. It was fantastic!

Sans recognized the look on your face. You got it every time you got into trouble. "*Oh no. What did you do now?" He asked, comically groaning for affect. You took a deep breath.

"I got sort of kidnapped and then I escaped and then I had to lock myself in a closet! And then your prick brother showed up and I let the idiot jockeys fight him and I grabbed a broom and went all HI-YAH! Jackie Chan on 'em! And then there
were others, but your prick brother teleported away and then came back and bought me with him and called me a pet again." You paused to take the first breath since starting. "And then I went to class!"

You had accompanied each sentence with the appropriate hand motions, grinning almost as big as your skeleton friend... even though his smile lessened a little as your continued and his eye lights vanished. "*Wait. You got kidnapped?" You
huffed. He was totally missing the point! You were a super awesome action hero and he was worried about the bad guys? "Well, kinda. They were trying to get me to spy on you or something to tell them your 'weaknesses' and when you
guys were alone. But you know I'd never do that! And that's not important, what's important is I was awesome!" Sans was silent for a second before grinning again. Still, you could tell he was still bothered. "*Heh, yeah! You were epic. You've
gotta... BO me all those cool Kung fu moves! I'll use it against the rest of the STAFF! Heh."

A few more puns were swapped before you took your seat with the other students, both human and monster, and Sans stood in front as usual. "*Good evening, guys..."

Class was spent discussing- you guessed it!- quantum physics. You were smart, but not nearly as smart as Sans. So, while you could understand a little of what he was talking about, you knew if he didn't tutor you there would be a big fat F on anything
even close to resembling a test. Thank goodness for smol skelles!

The next lecture, also with Sans, was Monster History. You excelled in that! Their story was one you had known half of already before beginning, because it was told to human children as legends and fairy tales. All of them you knew by heart, because you
loved fiction... or, at least, you had thought it was fiction. But now, it was true, and the tales were all so amazing that you couldn't wait to learn more about them. And so you aced every test!

"*Today we're talking about Gerson, the Hammer of Justice, his unit's victories and losses in the war. Now, I happen to be a personal friend of Gerson, so I was able to..."

"I'm calling bull!" Sans raised an eyebone at one of the classes' usual troublemakers, Jason. "*Oh really?" The skeleton deadpanned, already knowing the drill. "Yes, really. You expect us to believe that this Gary-"

"*Gerson."

"-Gerson monster is still alive after over a thousand years?!"

"*Yup."

Jason slammed his palm against the desk (not the first time he's done that.) and leapt to his feet in one motion. (He's done that a lot too) "You're full of crap! Go back to the graveyard you were dug out of, you creep!" (Not the first time he's done
that either.) Sans sighed, rolling the pinpricks of light he saw with. "*Mr. Jason, I've already warned you about anti-monsterism. If you feel that way, you shouldn't have taken this class. Please get out of my classroom now, unless you're willing
to sit down and shut up." Sans said in a tired voice. He wasn't allowed to be any ruder than that, but you knew what he was thinking. *Kid, if you know what I could do to you...

Ha. He had to deal with the several speciesists, however, without full power. As annoying as you found them yourself, it was a little funny to see your best friend having to deal with the idiots like everyone else has to. "I think I can do whatever I da-"

"Listen to Mr. Sans, Jason, you idiot." You looked to your left with an appreciative smile. Everyone called her Crayon, because of all the color in her hair, but you and Carol were pretty good friends. She was a fan of history and monsters, like you,
so sometimes you would get together to study. "Shut up, Carol. Everyone knows the only reason you defend those beasts is because you're one of those furry weirdos."

Crayon winked jovially at him."You know it!" She replied, always ready for an insult. Sans watched for a few moments before intervening. "*Thank you, Carol, but I'll handle this. Jason, get out of my class until you can learn respect." Sans summoned Jason's
soul (it was mostly orange with a little red and yellow) and covered it in blue magic. Then the skeleton opened the doors remotely and forced the jerk out, though nonviolently.

Class continued as normal... after a few other humans who sided with Jason had walked out of their own accord, silently.

Next was Magical Theory. Both you and Sans were scowling when you walked in. You both had fun because this was a hands-on class... but then, halfway through the semester, Gaster joined the class. And now it was one of the worst hours of your day.

As per usual, said prick breezed in as if he owned the place five minutes after you'd all started. "*Sorry I'm late, Sansy." Gaster said, clearly meaning the exact opposite. Sans audibly grit his teeth, but the smile never left his face. "*Sit down,
Gaster." For once, he obliged... right next to you. It was hard, but fighting back the snort of disgust that was rising proved successful. Barely. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, but snapped your gaze back to the front when you found
he was already smirking at you.

Bloody twat.

Sans kept a careful watch on you ad his brother, knowing the danger of your close proximity, as he taught. This session, each monster was paired with a human. You rushed over to Arix, a monster you were friends with, (you, Arix, and Crayon studied together
often, as mentioned previously.) but he was already taken. Arix gave you an apologetic look, and it only intensified when he looked behind you.

Don't tell me... you were screaming internally as you turned to face the only available partner left. Of course it is.

Sometimes you wondered if someone was writing a novel about you, seeing how many cliche or stupid things happened to you...

"*Well, looks like it's the two of us." Gaster smirked, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer, JUST to get on your scowled and opened your mouth to retort, but Sans appeared and put a hand on your shoulder. "*Actually, Gaster,
she is my partner. You'll be helping Jason." Gaster's smirk dropped into a furious grimace as the two brothers glared for a second. You smiled at Sans, thankful to have someone to save you from the prick.

Gaster locked eyes with Sans, raging that his younger brother would dare interrupt his fun. Just because his loser brother had a crush on her, it didn't mean she could get off scot-free. Gaster was angry that she'd let those idiot
AMG humans in the closet before. If she hadn't, he would have been able to exhort at least a few bucks in exchange for help, along with a few good jabs about being a pet.

The tall monster hated anyone who acted like they were immune to his 'teasing' and he especially hated girls who thought they were to good for him. Wether he liked her or not didn't matter- and he definitely didn't-there were plenty
of prettier, easier women to pick from. It struck a nerve that someone could possibly look down on him. Him!

Either way, she owed him for saving her earlier AND for opening that door. Gaster's idiot kid brother, whether he was playing teacher or not, had no right to stop him from collecting... One way or another.

Finally, Gaster walked over to Jason, who had just entered class (after having had a stern talking-to from the dean) and looked even angrier about being paired with Gaster than Gaster was with him. You turned to Sans with a smile. "Thanks, bro."

"*No problem." His cheekbones were coated in blue magic, obviously because of the argument turned to the rest of the class and instructed them on what to do before turning to you to begin. "*Alright, so, here's what we're doing.
Each monster partner is going to activate their magic, keeping each respective attack controlled in their palm. The human partner will carefully, and with the consent of the monster, scoop out the magic and hold it for five seconds. Afterwards, return
it to its owner. Once we have done this a total of ten times, sit down at your desks and we will discuss what happened."

Everyone (except the outspoken Monster Haters... and Gaster) looked excited about this, getting to work immediately. Sans winked as he formed a small blue orb, cupped in his bone palm. To do this, however, he had to summon your SOUL, just as all the monsters
did. (At the beginning of class everyone signed a waiver.)

His smile brightened when he saw it. "*Hey, I never realized your SOUL had blue." You knew that Sans' magic was blue (obviously) and that it corresponded to a trait of the SOUL, but you never had gotten around to asking about the colors. "Uh, yeah.
Can you tell me what they mean?"

"*Oh, sure!" He winked again as he passed you the magical ball carefully, the magic reflecting on his face as if he were blushing. "*Let's see. Your souls is mostly... hm, I'd say about 65% blue, which is Integrity. That explains why we're...friends.
You've also got 35% Determination, which is good. It makes sense, knowing you. And because you have those two traits, purple is unavoidable. That's Perseverance, about 10%. Nice." You handed him the magic back while grinning.

"That's cool. What's your colors?" Sans' eyebone raised, and he was about to say something when suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your shoulder. "*Heh. Oops." Your brow furrowed as you reached around to touch the source of the pain.

It was a bone fragment, and it was in your shoulder.

. . .

Gaster and Jason hated each other. They knew it. Everyone knew it. So when the skeleton summoned Jason's SOUL, the human glared uneasily. After all, they were on opposite teams in the local... er, conflict, to put it mildly, butsurely he wouldn't
do anything while his brother was around.

Jason was half right. As he warily handed the bone attack back to its owner, Gaster accidentally (or not) bumped his hand, sending the shard of calcium flying away across the room- and into your shoulder.

Luckily, it was small, barely an inch long. And it hadn't even broken your skin! It was stuck in the strap of your messenger bag.

That didn't stop Gaster from laughing as you turned and stomped your way up to the two of them, deadly serious. "You, prick, and you, twat! Both of you get out of this classroom right now or I will stab THIS-" you held up the bone,
"-Into BOTH OF YOUR SOULS." Jason took a step back, then made his way outside... fast. Gaster just leaned back with a self-satisfied wink. "*Aw~ Sorry, pet, but I don't love you enough for you to break my heart." Besides, now that
the bone was no longer glowing it would only count as a physical attack. Gaster's HP was so high it would only do 1 DMG.

You stabbed it towards him anyway...

Or, at least, you spent the rest of class pretending that you'd donethat, instead of handing the bone to Sans and sitting down like what really happened.

That night, as you collapsed on your bed in comfy pajamas and turned on a rerun of Castle (a crime show about a novelist, which was really awesome), you let out a long, loud "UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH." Of annoyance.

At least tomorrow wasn't a school day. Since you and Sans hadn't had the chance to try out the Magic Blaster, you were gonna stop by in the morning (read: noon) to try it out. Afterwards, you figured you'd just hang out at the mall or something.
You weren't a shopper, really, but there were a few comic shops. And Hot Topic.

YAYAYAYAYAY FINALLY THIS WORKED MUAHAHAHA