Okay, so...this is the shortest chapter I've ever written, and it's more just a plot bunny that got stuck in my head than anything else, so... Here it is. It's in Dean's POV. His reaction to the break-up pretty much. Bunches of love to you guys! :)

The motel was a mess. The mirror was shattered; the lamps were smashed; even some of the pillows were torn apart. Courtesy of yours truly. I stood in the mess, taking it in. I hadn't really paid attention when I'd been doing it; I'd just done it. Out of rage? Sorrow? Broken heart? Who the hell knew?

Aly had left. Not left-left, but me… She'd left me. Like I'd wanted. Wanted, but not at the same time. She'd left, walked away, and I had let her. I hadn't followed her. I could've fixed everything - well, not everything - if I'd just…followed her. Apologized or something.

I'm giving you what you want. I'm letting you go.

Aly was letting me go. It hurt even though it was for the best. Well, best for her. I guessed I had finally pushed her too far, hurt her too much. And I had been hurting her; I knew that. I wasn't blind or stupid. I could see how she was barely hanging on sometimes.

I had known this thing between Aly and me was going to be a problem and like she'd said, I'd been pushing her away. But she'd never actually let me push her away; she'd always held on just a little.

Even when I'd been a total ass to her, she'd hung on. But she couldn't anymore. She'd said it herself. And now there was a hole in my chest. It had formed the second she'd walked out the door because I knew that that was it. There was no turning back now.

And if, by some miracle, we happened to save my sorry ass, it would take some serious damage control to get back to any semblance of a normal relationship between us.

Hell, if I even tried to get her back. I didn't deserve her, had done nothing to earn her affection, and I never would understand what exactly it was she saw in me…but sometimes when she'd look at me it was like she was looking at the world. Her world.

I didn't want that responsibility because I knew what it felt like when your whole world came crashing down around you. I'd felt it when Sam had died. I didn't want Aly to ever feel that empty and lost, and definitely not over me.

But I could see it happening more and more each day. Sometimes I'd look at her and she was fine - okay, maybe not fine, but she'd be genuinely smiling or laughing and she'd have this light in her eyes; the light I fell in love with - and then something would always bring her back to thoughts about me and I would watch as the light would fade out. Each time it was like she died a little more inside and it was all because of me.

I couldn't even do anything because I couldn't help her and push her away at the same time. I wanted to help her. God, did I want to. Every instinct told me to, but I couldn't. I couldn't help her even though if the roles were reversed she'd do anything in her power to help me. Hell, she wanted to help me now, but I wouldn't let her.

She'd refused to talk to me at first and yeah, I'd wanted her to talk to me, but I'd understood she was hurting and I'd deserved every hurtful thing she'd thrown at me. The bratty behavior, the hanging out with a guy I didn't like or trust.

I should've never tried to get her to talk to me again. I should've pushed her away and kept her away. But I'd seen what it was doing to her and I couldn't. But now, now she'd made the decision to stop us because she couldn't take it anymore.

She had left hours ago, but I could still smell her here.

I'm letting you go.

She hadn't been mad when she'd said those words. She'd actually tried to do it gently so she wouldn't hurt me and that had just made it worse. It put all the things she'd done to intentionally hurt me to shame because…this time she hadn't meant to. But those four words had cut me deeply. They were the most hurtful things she'd ever said to me…because she had meant them.

But I couldn't complain, right? I'd brought it all on myself.

"What the hell happened, Dean?" Sam's voice came from the doorway, but I didn't answer. Ironically enough, I wasn't worried about him at the moment. "Dean, what happened? Where's Aly?"

"'Nother room. She, uh…she left."

"What? She's -"

"She left, Sam." My voice was rough and I felt this pressure building in my chest, bubbling up to my throat. God, my throat was actually burning. I hadn't felt that way since Sam had died, and now Aly was making me feel that way?

"Well, where's she gonna go?" Sam shook his head. "She can't just leave."

"She's not leaving-leaving. It's just me she's leaving."

"Um…don't you mean it's you she's sticking around for?"

"Yeah, well, whatever. Point is…we're not together anymore."

Walling off the emotions that swirled inside me, I turned and left the room and the mess behind. I really needed a drink or two. Or ten, maybe? And a good fight wouldn't hurt.

Drinking alone sucked. Drinking alone when you don't even plan on getting laid later sucked even more. Not that I would if I could; I was too busy thinking about Aly in a one track way. Which naturally led to more drinking.

I didn't really know how much I'd had, but I was comfortably numb…for a while. Until I thought about Aly, which was pretty much all that filled my head space…so I wasn't numb at all, actually. Even when I was looking at other women it reminded me of her; it reminded me of why exactly I wasn't interested in any of the girls here.

Before…this had totally been my scene. Seedy bars, scantily dressed girls. Girls that gave me whatever just because I smiled at them. I was charming and I looked good. Girls that were easy spread their legs for less.

Then came Aly. She'd shined like a light when I'd needed her most and now I was pretty much abandoning her when she needed me most. Some boyfriend I was; some friend I was.

Whatever. I'd screwed up. I should've been used to that feeling, but I wasn't. Funny thing since screwing up was what I did best.

God, everything I touched…I ruined it somehow.

Mom had been like a god in my eyes; I figured that was normal when you were four. Your mom is supposed to be the most beautiful woman in your life at that age. I had loved her with everything I had and she'd died.

Dad…I'd practically worshiped the ground he'd walked on and he'd died for me. Then I'd gone and sold my soul for Sam because I hadn't been able to save him in time.

Sam, who I was supposed to take care of, needed to take care of. That was my job. Annoy the crap out of him, yeah, but protect him all the same. Only I hadn't. I'd failed at that, too.

And then there was Aly. Sweet, innocent, good Aly. Only she wasn't so innocent anymore. I'd taken that away from her. She'd lost her innocence the minute she'd learned about the deal I'd made. That had been the turning point for her. The point where this life, this job, had become too much for her.

I huffed out a laugh when I realized how ironic it was that her innocence was tied to me. Maybe was me. Hell if I knew.

And the ramblings of a drunk person wasn't anything to listen to anyway. I was giving myself a headache. Time for another shot.

"'Nother," I said to the bartender. I'd had a goal to get shit-faced and I was slowly reaching my destination.

"Actually, he's had enough."

I sighed, probably a little over the top, but I was drunk so no one can blame me anyway. Sam was here beside me now.

"You follow me here?" I asked and didn't care if my speech was slow and slurred.

"Yeah. I've been waiting outside for over two hours." Sam sighed, looking disappointed because of the drink in my hand. "What're you doing, Dean?"

I smiled lazily. "Getting drunk-faced. Wanna join?"

"No, Dean. And I think you've had enough."

"No, I'm s-still conscious so I'm sure I can handle more."

"I'm takin' you back to the motel," he said firmly.

"Don't wanna," I said and I had to really focus to remember how to talk right.

"Aly wouldn't want you to drink yourself stupid, now come on!"

Sam was losing his patience because I was intentionally being difficult. But, hello, I needed a drink. Well, more drinks than I had already had. I could still think clearly, so I obviously hadn't had enough.

"She's not here," I pointed out.

"No, but she's at the motel and if you don't come with me right now, I swear I will go get her and let her bring you back."

God, Sam was such a drama queen, but he really would do what he'd threatened, and I didn't want that. Didn't want her seeing me like this because she would know why I was drinking and she would feel bad. I didn't want that, didn't want her to feel any worse than she already did. Not because of me.

"Fine, buzz kill," I said, standing up and , whoa, tilt-awhirl. I hadn't known how hammered I was until that moment. I would definitely be stumbling my way back to the motel. I hadn't driven my baby. I'd intended to get drunk and I wasn't going to risk doing damage to her by being stupid.

Sam tried to help me along but I shrugged him off. "G'off me. 'M fine."

"Yeah, you came to a bar to drink alone because you're fine," Sam said sarcastically.

We started walking - well, Sam walked; I stumbled - and my brain started hurting with Aly-thoughts.

"She'd have been better off with someone else as a boyfriend." That's what I'd wanted to say. How it came out, I didn't know, and even if I had known, my judgment wasn't to be trusted at the moment.

"I don't think so." Sam took my arm, probably to keep me from falling over myself. "She had a terrific boyfriend. He's just in a sticky situation. We'll get you out of it."

In the drunken state I was in I couldn't find it in me argue. Let him believe what he wanted; what the hell did it matter, anyway? Even if we saved me I was still damned. The way I lived…there was no way I could go anywhere else but Hell.

As for now, I just wanted my head on a pillow. And a bathroom. Pressure was building in my bladder. Not good.

"Ga pee." Meant to say 'gotta', but whatever.

Sam huffed out a laugh. "So go behind a building, you're a guy."

"It's cold out here," I said.

"Well, then hold it." Sam tugged on my arm and I followed; didn't really have a choice.

Back at the motel the first thing I did was go to the bathroom. Damn alcohol. I'd drink so much I knew I had to be standing there for two minutes and then I realized I was just standing there. Didn't know how long I'd been done.

When I finally made it to the bed I realized my mistake. It smelled like her. God, was I to get no peace? Ever?

I laid down nonetheless, keeping one foot planted firmly on the ground. Even with her scent all over the sheets - or maybe because of it - it didn't take long for sleep to come.

The next morning - afternoon more likely - I woke up to a spotless room. Sam had obviously cleaned up the room while I'd been out like a light.

My head felt like thunder was rolling through it and I got up unsteadily to go to the bathroom. After I was done I went back to the main room and plopped back down on the bed, jarring my aching head.

I grabbed at my temples and pressed hard. I had almost forgotten how bad hangovers sucked I hadn't had one in so long. Jeeze.

I breathed in and out slowly. I glanced around the room slowly. Sam wasn't here. There was, however, two pills and a glass of water on the bedside table. Aly had been here, she was the one who kept the headache medicine because she was the one who was more prone to getting headaches. She thought too much and it overtaxed her brain. That was my theory, anyway.

That, however, was not the point. The point was she'd left medicine and that meant she knew I'd been drunk last night and she'd cared enough to leave medicine.

A knock came from the door and I debated whether to open it or not. It was probably the manager from the front office wanting to talk about payment for the damage I'd done. I guessed I should answer because I had done a number on the room.

When I opened the door, though, it wasn't the motel manager; it was Aly. Aly, who had two coffees in a cup-holder in one hand and a bottle of 7-Up in the other.

"Can I come in?" she asked, sounding unsure of herself. Looking unsure of herself. It reminded me of when we'd first gotten together. She'd always second-guessed herself when it came to things that dealt with me and our relationship.

"You don't have to ask or knock, Aly." I moved away from the doorway to let her in. She needed to know that just because we weren't together…it didn't make her any less welcome.

"Okay." She started fidgetting from foot to foot. "Um…I didn't know if your stomach could handle coffee, but I got you one anyway. And I got you a 7-Up in case you couldn't drink the coffee."

Why would she do this after everything I'd put her through? After making it where she'd had to give me up even though she didn't want to and I didn't want her to. Why would she insist on taking care of me now?

"My stomach is fine, but my head is killing me."

"I left you some medicine."

"Yeah, I saw it. I just woke up."

"Oh…um, okay then. I'll, uh…just…" She placed both drinks on the dresser and then bit her lip. "I'll go, I guess."

"You don't have to leave, Aly. You can…stay for a while."

Her body sort of lost the awkwardness like that's what she'd wanted me to say. Even though we weren't together she didn't want to be alone. I wasn't too crazy with that concept either.

"Oh, thank God."

I could practically feel the relief come off of her in waves. I actually could feel it affecting me. I didn't fight against it even though I knew I would miss it when she left again. I knew she probably didn't even know she was doing it and I didn't want it to stop because it was a part of what made her Aly.

Not to mention it kind of made me my headache fade for the moment.

"So, um…this room looked like a cyclone had hit it this morning."

"Yeah, uh…my cyclone."

"Oh…well, that's good. I thought maybe you and Sam had fought or something."

"Nah. It was just me. Did you see Sam this morning?"

"Uh, yeah. Went to the library."

"Of course." He was probably looking for a job. Or for a way to save me.

The relief had faded and tension had filled the room again. God, this was hard. She was right here, but it felt like she was a thousand miles away. Is this how she'd felt? How had she handled it?

"Okay, you know what? We need to stop. We're still good, here. You're still Aly, and I'm still Dean, and we still get along. Right? We're still friends, aren't we?"

Hopefully we were because I didn't know if I could stand losing her completely.

"Of course we're still friends. I just…I thought you might need time, or…I don't know. I didn't wanna push if you were mad at me or needed space or whatever."

I didn't need time or space and I wasn't mad at her. This one was all me, and she didn't need to feel guilty about anything.

She hadn't done anything wrong.

So...how was my Dean voice. I'm not too sure about it. Especially drunk Dean. I've never been 'hammered' so...would appreciate it if you guys let me know what you think. :) Thanks