Chapter 20

Tris

Just when I'm about to give up hope of seeing Tobias today, he finally walks through the door. "Where have you been," I ask, angrier than I meant to.

"I'm sorry. I just needed some time alone. Besides, you were with Christina."
"Yeah well knowing where you were would have been nice. And why did you need some time alone? What's going on with you?"

He clears his throat. "Just… Marcus stuff again. He's really been bothering me lately. I don't know why."

He looks sad. I feel a twinge of guilt in my stomach and walk over to him. "I'm sorry." I put my hands gently around his neck. "I was just worried."

"It's okay."

We decide to sleep in my apartment tonight. "I was thinking," Tobias says as I lay down next to him. "Tomorrow, before you go visit Max, we should make a trip."

"Really? Where?"

"A place I know. Not too far from here."

I frown. "Tell me."

"Well, it's near the Ferris wheel. I wanna show it to you."

"Oh I see. So it's like a date?"

"Yeah, I guess." He grins and we fall asleep before saying anything else.

Tobias

After jumping off the train, I lead her to the field by the fence. In the middle of it is a big oak, with a tree house in its crown. Zeke and Uriah build it when they we're kids. Zeke showed me this back when we were initiates. I remember getting caught by Amar for sneaking out outside Dauntless headquarters. He didn't tell Max, just left us with a warning. I think that was the moment when I saw that he had a caring heart. Not at all like most people's in Dauntless.

"You sure you wanna go up there? It's pretty high," Tris says squinting at the treetop.

"I'll be fine." I give her my hand. "Ladies first."

She's a fast climber, but soon I catch up to her. We climb side by side until we reach the top. It is high.

"You okay?" Tris says.

"Yeah, I'll adapt."

She laughs a little and starts to look around. "Wow. This is actually really good. Do you know who build it?"

"Yeah, Zeke and Uriah. When they were kids."

"Really? You sure it's okay that we're up here?"

"Yeah, they never go here now."

"Alright then."

We sit down by the doorway, looking out over the field and our city. You can't see much from here, just a part of the Dauntless compound, the train rails and the old rusty amusement park.

"You nervous about your meeting with Max?" I ask.

"A little."

"You shouldn't worry. It will be fine." She smiles and rests her head against my shoulder. I don't want to ruin the moment, but I can't pretend like I'm okay when really I'm not. "I'm sorry about what happened to you." I keep my eyes on the view. "The attack."

She sits up straighter. "Please don't tell me you're still blaming yourself for that It's not your fault, I've told you that."

"I just keep thinking that if I would have gone with you, it wouldn't have happened."

"You can't think like that." She leans in and presses her mouth against mine. I kiss her back because I know it will distract me from the lies. I shift my body and stand on my knees, my lips still on hers. Slowly she lies down on the wooden pavement, pulling me with her. She grabs my shoulder and gathers the fabric in her fist. I put my hand on the floor next to her head to steady myself. Her hand fits the arch of my back and she tugs me closer, even though we're only a couple inches apart. I caress her cheek with my thumb and then brush her over her side, curving over the hip, and touching her thigh. With her moving lips on my neck, my thoughts fade away fast. Suddenly it's like we're in a hurry, the kissing growing more intense. Her lips are soft against mine, and she tastes like fresh air and something sweet. I don't know where this is going, but I can't do this as a distraction. And I can't lie to her. "Wait," I sit up. She pulls down her shirt over her bare stomach and looks at me with confusion. "Tris I need to tell you something."

She sits up. "What is it?"

"I haven't been honest with you. Yesterday, I went back to Abnegation to see your mother."

"What? Why?"

"She asked me to."

"Why would she do that?"

"Tris." I sigh. I have to tell her. Everything. "I know your mother. Your parents know Marcus and when I lived in Abnegation we saw each other a lot. We…"

"Wait," she stands up. "So you lied to me? You were just pretending not to know her?"

"It's not that simple." I get up. "I didn't know Natalie was going to recognize me. But that's not the point. When I saw her yesterday, she told me something. I promised her that I wouldn't tell you, cause she wanted to keep you safe."

She scowls at me. "God Tobias! So you lied to me again?"

"You know who Jeanine Matthews is?"

She stares confusingly at me. "What?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah? What about her?"

"She's planning to overthrow Abnegation so that Erudite can be the leading faction and she can take down all the Divergents and if they don't act fast, she will declare war."

Tris looks stunned. She doesn't say anything and she doesn't look at me. I grab her wrist. "Can't you see that I'm trying to protect you?"

She finally looks into my eyes. "I don't need to be protected. We promised to be honest with each other."

"I know, and that's why I'm telling you now."

She shakes her head, but she doesn't look angry anymore. "So what are we suppose to do?"

"We are not doing anything. Natalie strictly told me to not involve Dauntless. She said it will be done quietly and I have to agree with her. Dauntless will not do things quietly."

"We can't just do nothing. My family is in danger. You are in danger."

"And you Tris. You can't go there. It's not safe."

"What do you mean I can't?"

I know Natalie said that if Tris would find out, I had to stop her from coming with us. The problem is that Tris will never let me go alone. Never.

"Tobias you're not honestly thinking about going there without me?"

"What choice do I have? Tris you've already been attacked."

"Attacked? What are you…?" Her voice trails off.

"Yes, that was Jeanine's people. They know you're Divergent now, and they are going to kill you."

"Then don't you think it's better that I'm not where they think I am? Where they would be looking first."

Maybe she's right. Dauntless headquarters may not be safe but trying to stop Jeanine isn't either. "Fine. We'll talk to Natalie. Tomorrow." I look at my watch. "We have to leave. You're meeting Max in 20 minutes."

Tris

"Tris, nice to see you." Max gestures me to sit down. "So, I've been looking into what positions are available and I think some of them might interest you."

I tie my hands in my lap to stop them from shaking.

"Let's see what we have." Max picks out a file from his desk. "There are available positions in the control room and the tattoo parlor, like always. The patrol leadership, guarding our fence, and…" He pauses. "You know, I take it back. I don't think any of these are really for you."
I raise my eyebrows. "Why do you say that?"

He watches me for a few seconds. Too long, and it makes me uncomfortable. "I think I have the perfect job for you Tris." He smiles a little. "Ever thought about joining us in leadership?"

A Dauntless leader? I never even considered that option. Being a leader means more responsibility than I've ever had. I'd be someone in charge of things. The idea sounds bizarre. I'm no leader. "I'm flattered sir, that you think I qualify for that job, but I don't think that's what I want to do."

"Okay." He frowns and scratches the back of his neck. "I see. Well that was my best option. Do you have any thoughts of your own?"

I realize that I actually don't. With what Tobias just told me, it's sort of hard to think about anything else, especially to decide what I will do everyday for a really long it hits me. If I won't be able to help Abnegation by their side, at least I can help them by overseeing everything from somewhere else.

"Yes, actually. I've recently taken some special interest in technology and I think I would really enjoy working in the control room."

He nods, but his eyes study me suspiciously. I sit nervously and wait for his answer. I feel like the word "liar" is written all over me. "Does this have something to do with Four working there?"

His words surprise me. I didn't even think about Tobias. "No, it has nothing to do with him," I say, trying to sounds casual. "I just want to do something I enjoy. Four just happens to work there as well."

"Well alright then. I'll let someone teach you the basics and how it works. Shouldn't be a problem if you enjoy working with computers." He smiles a little. "You're excused."

With relief I stand up, thank him and then I leave his office. I need to find Tobias.

See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s