Okay, so again with the long wait. Sorry! I've had stuff to do this time, it's not the computer's fault, though it is still having issues. I've had to shop for my cousin's wedding, then I had to GO to the wedding. Then she had to leave, she moved to Hawaii and I had wanted to spend as much time as I could with her before. Then I had a doctor's appointment, and now my mom has one and I'm just praying everything is okay.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy.

A Very Supernatural Christmas
Part One

The day after the Gordon incident took place I spent alone for the most part. I'd come up with a workout routine for myself - sit ups, push ups, occasionally jogging. I needed to stay sharp, especially since Dean had taken to training me. He had a good fifty or sixty pounds on me, so I needed something to give me an edge. On a good day, I was quicker in my movements than Dean.

The only time I had problems keeping up was when I was running - they were taller and therefore faster because they could take longer strides, but when I was fighting Dean, I was quicker because I was lighter on my feet.

After my routine I watched some TV. It's a Charlie Brown Christmas was on, but I didn't watch it; I wasn't in a Christmas-y mood. Finally I decided on a music channel. It was an 80's station and Seasons Change by Expose` was on.

Some dreams are in the nighttime
And some seem like yesterday
But leaves turn brown and fade
Ships sail away
You long to say a thousand words, but seasons change
It feels like it's forever
No reason for emptiness
But time just runs away
No more day by day
You dream again, but it seems in vain when seasons change

I want you
I want to feel you by my side
I need you
Don't you know I need you, baby

Yup, nope, time to change the channel. I was doing that avoiding thing again. I needed rock. Or pop, maybe. Ashlee Simpson was usually good. I turned off the TV and got my Ipod instead

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try, I will try, wipe the tears from my eyes

Switch again. Last ditch effort: Brie Larson

My alarm starts to ring and I know
I gotta get up out of bed
Even though I'd rather stay here instead
Drag a comb through my hair, I don't care
That my clothes don't even match
'Cause today I'm not gonna worry 'bout that
I wanna be somebody else
Because I'm getting tired of myself

I could relate to this one too, but it didn't really have any negative connotations, so I left it on. It was better than the last two. The reason I was wasting time with the music was because Dean was giving Sam a mechanics lesson. That so wasn't my thing. It would have gone way over my head, and I wouldn't have remembered anything anyway.

Later that day I went out to get food. Chinese; we hadn't had it in a while and I had a craving for sweet and sour chicken. Mm, and egg rolls. So I borrowed Dean's car and went for all of us.

I stayed with them while we ate, but right after I went back to my room; it was easier that way. I was thankful that I'd had the presence of mind to buy me a laptop a while back. Now I could just pull up books whenever I wanted to and read to my heart's content.

As Christmas grew closer Sam found a weird case in Michigan where people were getting sucked into chimney's. Yup…chimney's. At first I'd laughed because I'd been sure he was joking, but then I'd read about it myself. Needless to say…I'd stopped laughing real quick.

Sam and Dean were talking to the wife of one of the victims. They were pretending to be FBI agents today. I was in the car, waiting. I wanted to help, I did, but I couldn't handle all the emotions I knew the wife would unwittingly fling at me. I couldn't handle my own emotions, let alone everyone else's.

I vaguely wondered how someone could get over something like that - your husband getting sucked up a chimney. Seriously, what kind of explanation would satisfy this woman?

When Sam and Dean got back in the car I asked, "Find anything?"

"Stockings, mistletoe, this." Sam showed us a tooth.

"Ew. Where'd you find it?"

"The chimney."

"Okay," Dean said. "So if dad went up the chimney…"

"We need to find out what dragged him up there."

"Well, he obviously didn't fit up there in one piece."

"Yeah," I agreed. "So…uh…what're we dealing with? Evil Santa?"

"Evil Santa?" Dean grinned. "Really?"

"What? I heard about it on Buffy. That Santa's real, but instead of leaving behind presents, he leaves behind disemboweled children."

Dean chuckled a few times. "I swear, the things you two come up with." He paused, though, considering. Then he turned to Sam. "Does she have a point?"

"I don't know, we'll check."

"Check on what?" I asked. "Dick Van Dyke?"

Sam laughed, but Dean just said, "Who?"

"Mary Poppins…?" Sam trailed off and when he got no response from Dean, he said, "Never mind."

"Okay, so here's what we know," Sam said, three hours later. Yes, we'd been researching that long. "Aly's evil Santa theory might not have been too far off. Only it's not evil Santa, that's not the name. But it's gonna sound crazy."

"What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?" Dean said.

"Um…the anti-Claus. There's a version of it in every culture. You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter. Whatever you wanna call it, there's all sorts of lore. Saying, back in the day, Santa's brother went rogue. He shows up around Christmas time, but instead of leaving presents he punishes the wicked."

"By hauling their ass up chimney's?" Dean asked skeptically.

"For starters, yeah."

"So, this is your theory. Santa's shady brother?" Dean shook his head. "Santa doesn't have a brother. There is no Santa."

"Yeah, I know. You're the one who told me that in the first place, remember?"

"You believed in Santa?" I asked, holding back a giggle.

"You didn't?"

"No. I did not believe in flying reindeer and fat, jolly guys coming down chimney's."

"Anyway," Dean said, probably not wanting the animosity to flare up between Sam and me again, "I did some digging while you guys were here researching. Both victims visited the same place before they got snatched."

"Where?"

"A place called Santa's Village."

Santa's Village turned out to be this run down little place in the middle of nowhere. You had your regular nativity scenes, your Christmas elves - were elves even real? - and rugrats running around. Plus a not so jolly Santa asking the kids what they wanted for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas…Dean wanted to have one.

"Dean, those weren't exactly Hallmark memories for me, ya know?" Sam said.

"Oh, come on, Sam."

"No, just - no," Sam said. Sam looked like he really hoped Dean would drop it.

I didn't care one way or the other what they did. It wasn't like I was all Bah-humbug about Christmas, it just wasn't that important to me. Just another day.

"A'right, Grinch," Dean said, walking off.

I noticed Sam was staring at a plastic reindeer that was cross-eyed. Ugh!

"Stop looking at that thing. It's disturbing."

Sam snapped out of it and grinned a little. "We're looking for Santa's evil brother, and the reindeer is disturbing? There is something seriously wrong with you."

"Don't I know it."

Sam and I caught up with Dean and we began searching for someone who walked with a limp and smelled like sweets.

"Why the sweets?"

"Think about it. If you smell like candy, the kids will come closer, ya know?"

"That's creepy," Dean said.

"Yeah," I agreed. Then since we were in Santa's Village anyway… "You know what else draws kids in? Someone who looks like Santa."

I pointed to where Santa was sitting and Sam and Dean just kind of 'hm'ed.

"How does this thing know who's been naughty and who's been nice?" Dean wondered out loud.

"He makes a list and checks it twice," I said, which earned a grin from Sam and a blank stare from Dean. "You know…the song…?"

Dean shook his head and something inside me began to ache. Dean had known nothing of a normal childhood. No lame Christmas movies or lame Christmas songs. No family gatherings. No exchanging of gifts. Nothing. And he wanted one - just one - before he had to…go away.

I absentmindedly grabbed my chest since that was what was hurting and I grunted in pain. Was your chest actually supposed to hurt, physically, when a piece of your heart breaks?

"Aly?" both guys said and reached for me. Yes, Sam wasn't too fond of me at the moment, but he still cared.

"I'm okay. Um…I'm okay." I focused on breathing deeply. "I'm gonna go -" I broke off when Santa got up and began walking…with a limp. But I couldn't feel anything coming from him. Maybe he was a regular guy that had arthritis? Or he was a shape shifter of some kind. I couldn't feel shape shifters.

When the guy walked by I noticed he smelled like candy, which didn't prove anything except that he had a sweet tooth, but it was still suspicious.

"We should follow him," Sam said. "Do you want one of us to take you back to the hotel?"

"No, thanks. I'm okay now. This new feeling everyone's emotions thing is a bitch. I'm gonna go wait in the car while you guys get the employee records, find out where that guy lives."

"Uh, Sam?"

Dean was looking at me, worried, and Sam got it. He gestured for Dean and me to go on ahead. Dean began leading me towards the Impala, one arm behind me, but not really touching me.

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" Dean asked. "Whatever's wrong with you is getting worse."

I shook my head, relieved that I didn't have to say yes. "No, I was telling the truth. It's just all these emotions on top of mine. It hurts, it's hard."

When we got to the car we both got in the front seat. I faced him because I wanted to talk about something serious.

"I know why you want to have Christmas this year. I get it. I'll talk to Sam about it. I know heart-to-heart's aren't you area of expertise."

Dean grinned sadly, almost bitterly. "Do you think it's stupid? The whole Christmas thing?"

"No. You never had that. It's normal to want it." I moved closer and put my head on his shoulder, blurring the friendship line big time. "Can I give you an early Christmas present?"

"You bought me something?"

I sat up and shook my head. "No, this isn't the kind of gift you buy."

I moved forward just enough to press my lips to his cheek. He jerked a little, but he didn't reject what I was offering. When I looked at him, I saw he was confused and a little leery; he didn't understand what I was doing.

"Don't move," I whispered.

I pressed my lips firmly to his for just a brief second, but I heard his breathing hitch.

"I forgive you," I said softly, stroking his cheek gently once.

"What?"

"The deal you made." I looked straight in his beautiful green eyes. "I forgive you."

I nestled against him then and looked out the window. I didn't think I could say what I needed to say if I was looking at him, or if I was looking at him looking at me. I could still feel his eyes on me, though. It made my heart race nervously.

"For the longest time I was so…angry at you. Righteously angry, might I add. But I'm not anymore. Mostly I'm…scared and sad. Scared because for almost two years you and I have been inseperable, ya know? It was never just a you thing or a me thing. We were us, Dean and Aly. We were together. And we won't be anymore. And I'm gonna have to figure out who I am again…who I am without you, and I don't know how to do that. Sad because…it's finally sinking in that I am going to lose you. I've been avoiding that fact for a while now, but I can't anymore.

"It's funny because until I started reading people's minds and feeling their feelings I didn't know what I felt. I couldn't figure it out to save my life. But now I know."

My voice began to shake with things I'd held inside for so long. They needed to be said now.

"I love you. I know you know that. And I know that even if I had known what would happen I would still be here right now. I wouldn't have changed my feelings for you. I still would've chosen to love you. Because some people…they go through life never knowing what that feels like and I'm glad that I did. I'm glad that I do."

Dean was silent for about thirty seconds and so I looked up at him and I cupped his face again.

"You told me once that our lives are unpredictable, you never know when one of us is gonna…ya know? And I just needed you to know that I don't regret you, anything I've done or felt for you…in case something happened to me, I just needed you to know that."

He wasn't silent for as long this time and he grinned genuinely. "Wow, that's actually a moderately healthy attitude."

"I try," I smiled, going with the flow of the conversation. This part was easier. "I don't think I like me when I'm unbalanced."

"Second it," Dean said. "You're scary when you're unbalanced."

"Yes, I am."

Sam came back with the address and all we could do now was wait for nightfall. I was about seventy percent sure this wasn't our guy, but we still needed to check.

While we were waiting for the right time to go, we all noticed something…it wasn't that cold outside, and we were in Michigan. Michigan in December was usually freezing, wasn't it. So something was definitely up.

That night was a bust. The Santa guy was just an alcoholic who was very into porn. Ew.

Dean, Sam, and I had to sing Silent Night to get out of that one. I was still laughing about it when we got back to the car. Now we were back to square one, though. Plus, while we were stalking Santa, someone else got pulled up a chimney. So far it had only been guys who had been killed, so I figured I would be safe.

The next morning found us at the latest victim's house. I hadn't been going to go, but Dean said I needed to practice blocking emotions just like I'd learned to block most thoughts. It might hurt me if I didn't.

The woman we were talking to had a bruise near her temple where she'd been attacked the night before. Her son wasn't with her, but he had been the one to witness what had happened. Supposedly Santa had pulled Daddy up the chimney.

"Where were you during all this?" Sam asked.

"I was asleep. All of a sudden Al was being dragged out of bed, screaming. It was dark, he hit me, the attacker. He knocked me out."

I was trying to see into her thoughts to see if I could find anything that might have seemed small to her, but could actually be integral, but there was nothing there. I wasn't getting anything at all from her, it was like she was completely closed off. She wasn't letting herself feel, maybe?

Then Sam asked about a wreath of all things. A wreath? We were talking to a grieving woman and Sam wanted to know about a wreath?

Dean had pretty much the same reaction, but we got the address of the place the woman had gotten it and we left.

"Wreathes, huh? You sure you didn't wanna ask about her shoes?"

"We've seen that wreath before, Dean. The Walsh's, yesterday."

We walked a few more steps before Dean said, "I know. I was just testing you."

"Yeah, that's it," I said, hiding a smile. "Anyway…what's special about the wreath?"

"I'm not sure yet," Sam said. "But it can't be coincidence."

"Hm, no, probably not. Call Bobby, maybe? He can research that while we take care of the creature-feature part. Know of any demons that like plants? Or Christmas, period?"

"Not off the top of my head."

Two hours later, after talking to Bobby, we found out we weren't dealing with the anti-Claus, and that we were morons. Bobby's affectionate words there.

"He also said that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreathes."

"Wow. Amazing," Dean said. "What the hell is meadowsweet?"

"It's pretty rare and it's the most powerful plant in Pagan lore."

"Pagan lore?"

"They'd use meadowsweet for human sacrifices. It was kind of like a chum for their gods. Gods were drawn to it, they'd stop by and snack on the nearest human."

"Why would somebody be using that for Christmas wreathes?" Dean asked.

"Because originally it was a Pagan holiday," I said.

"Christmas is Jesus' birthday."

"No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall," Sam said. "It was the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. The Yule log, Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship."

"How do you know that?" Dean asked incredulously.

I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't going to cause an argument. "Actually, I think He was born in the spring. Baby lamb and all that. And two, Dean, you believe in Jesus, but you don't believe in God?"

"Jesus was real."

I smirked a little. "How do you know? Have you seen Him?"

Using his logic against him was evil, but I didn't care.

"Sure, in pictures and stuff. Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure. What are we dealing with?" After I'd made my point, I was more than happy to move on.

"Probably Holdnacar, god of the winter solstice," Sam said.

I looked at Dean to see if he knew what Sam was talking about, because I sure didn't, and saw a look of realization on his face.

"And all these Martha Stewart wannabes buying these fancy wreathes…"

"Yeah, it's pretty much like putting a big neon sign on your front door that says 'come kill us'. And when you sacrifice to Holdnacar guess what it gives you."

"Lap dances, hopefully," Dean said.

"Mild weather."

"Kind of like no snow in the middle of winter in Michigan?" Dean pondered. "Do we know how to kill it yet?"

"No, Bobby's working on that right now. We need to go talk to the guys who sells these wreathes."

"Do you think they're sellin' them on purpose? Feeding the victims to this thing?"

"I dunno, we'll find out."

I raised my hand slightly. "If they are, who do we go after? The god or the human? I mean, if we just take out the god then the human could just summon another one, right?"

Dean looked at Sam and then at me. "One problem at a time, Aly."

We ended up at the quaint little Christmas shop; it was a little overly decorated, but to each their own, I guess. Dean made Sam tell the owner guy about the wreath, for entertainment purposes only I was sure.

"I sell a lot of wreathes, guys."

"Right, but you see, this one would have been really special," Sam said. "It had green leaves and white buds on it. Might've been made of meadowsweet."

"Well, aren't you a fussy one?"

I looked down at the floor to hide my grin.

"Anyway, I know the one you're talkin' about. I'm all out."

"Where'd you get 'em?" Dean asked.

"Madge Carrigan, a local lady. Said they were so special, she gave them to me for free."

"She didn't charge you?"

"Nope."

"Did you sell 'em for free?"

"Hell no, it's Christmas, people pay a butt-load for this crap."

"That's the spirit," Dean quipped.

We found out where this Madge lady lived and we felt.

"How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?" Dean asked.

"Couple hundred dollars, at least."

"And this lady's giving them away for free? What d'you think about that?"

"It's weird," I said. "And I'm hungry."

Dean grinned. "Wow, way to change the subject there, Aly."

I shrugged a little. "What? I am."

"We'll stop and get something, okay?"

I nodded. "I want pizza. Extra cheese."

At the pizza place Dean went in to order, leaving Sam and me in the car. Now seemed as good a time as any to bring up the conversation I'd told Dean I'd have with Sam.

I scooted forward, the better to talk to him. "Hey, Sam?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you so against Christmas?"

He shrugged. "It's not like I hate it. I just don't wanna celebrate it."

"Right, but why?"

"Because…I can't." Sam looked at me, eyes shining. "I can't just sit there with Dean, celebrating like everything's all right when I know that next year…"

"Next year he'll be dead," I said, comprehending the problem.

And once again I was put in the middle. I understood where both of them were coming from. And I didn't want to have to choose sides because then one of them would be upset that I chose the other.

"Okay, well…I'm not telling you what to do, but…think about Dean in this, okay? He wants this because he'll never be able to have it again. And…I don't know what Hell's like, but eternal torment can't be good, so we should be giving him as many happy memories as we can. You know?"

Sam looked away, but I could tell that what I had said had affected him at least a little.

"Just think about it, okay?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

I sat back and was quiet. I wanted Sam to be able to get control of himself before Dean got back. I was almost sorry I'd brought it up, almost. But at least now I knew.

Okay, so...what do you think? I liked the scene about the forgiveness thing. I thought Aly was at a healthy enough place to give that to him genuinely. She wouldn't just be saying it to say it, not just saying it because he needed to hear it, but because she actually meant it.

As always, reviews are appreciated. Love you guys, and thanks for those of you who are sticking with me through all this. That's appreciated even more!