Things Better Left Unvisited:

Exactly What It Sounds Like, Mates


If there is one reason to kill that the goodly woodlanders agree is never okay, it's killing for the purpose of vengeance. There's all manner of rhetoric flying about all through nearly all of the books of this nature; a squirrel will grumble this, a mouse say that, all in strong disagreement on killing for a wrong done after the fact for a selfish reason.

Or do they?

Well, answer me this, faithful readers: What do you call what Urthstripe the Strong did to Farran the Poisoner in Salamandastron? Is it not HEINOUS?

By the way, if you haven't read it, IT SO IS. It's a fate you wouldn't wish on your worst enemies' hellspawn mother who devoured your kittens and opened another hole in the ozone layer. It's just... You start wondering how the goodbeast can keep calling themselves by such a label...


*The Most Horrible Thing Possible Happens. And A Good Guy Did It.*

"Damn." Seawood the hare commented, "This might even trump what that ottery chap Folgrim did to that water rat..."

"Shut up! We're in s'possed to watch for our entertainment!" Moonpaw, an extremely unimportant hare said.

Across the room, a black fox with very poor fighting skills cringed in terror.
Vulpuz! He thought to himself, All I did was follow orders, kill that hare that surprised me at the crater top, then poisoned the food supply under Ferahgo's orders...Oh, yeah, and be a fox...

"GRR," Urthstripe charged him, armed with only a wet strip of knotted torture linen.

"Wait, what in Hellgates?" the bubbly young Pennybright looked away in horror.

"GRR," Urthstripe repeated, beating Farran just for the enjoyment of it. Then he proceeded to steal Farran's poison sacks and, grinning like a lunatic, SHOVE THEM DOWN THE FOX'S THROAT.

Pennybright fainted.

The next morning, Pennybright says this rather cheerfully.

"Ooh! Can't wait to see what happens when the jolly vermin break through!"


Holy s***. Pardon my French, but WHAAAA..?

How is that the action of a noble creature? The things that fox did aren't half as destructive as the actions of, say, almost all the badgers. Especially that Cregga. I can't find it in my heart to tolerate her.

But think, when vermin (say... Swartt Sixclaw! Or Geltor the Marlfox!) try to get revenge in just as, or oddly LESS, horrible ways, what are they told?

"Noooo! That's baaaaad!"

Tell that to your badger friends. That is, if you feel brave enough to confront the Badger Lord with anything other than positive reports and fawning praise.

Wait...

...Are the badgers totalitarian dictators?


More may follow. If you like, you may leave an as-of-yet unanswered bit of unusual Redwall yore as a suggestion, but it is more than likely I'll cover the grand majority of oddness and unmentioned unmentionableness.