Splatoon: The Bate Brothers
We're Home Free, Right?
After the incredibly taxing and over complicated events that took place, Splin and Sharq were now relaxing at their home.
The house was interesting to say the least, if you looked at it from a distance, you might've thought the owners didn't have a lot of money to spare for renovations. Technically, it was true. The top of the house, where a second floor would normally be, was flat aside from a railing around the edges and had a huge trapdoor that could be opened, leading into the first floor. The "roof" also sported two new Inkling sized holes, a result of Splin's method of travel.
The inside was nothing too special either. The trapdoor on the roof led down a small set of stairs, that immediately led towards a set of beds in one of the corners of the house, a dresser with a lamp and an alarm clock wedged between them. One bed had a laptop as well as a mouse positioned on a mouse-pad, the other covered with a bunch of video games and snacks, both generally messy and ruffled. A regular television with multiple video game platforms and cables was situated on the left side of the house, just in front of the beds. On the other side laid a small kitchen containing a refrigerator, counters, a few stoves, cabinets, a sink, and a toaster oven, all crammed together.
An extremely small and easily forgettable chimney was also awkwardly situated by the kitchen, jutting out the side of the house. Looking from outside the house, there were 2 sets of windows, one in the front, and one in the back. The front had two doors, and a small platform leading up to it. The house was small compared to some of the more lavish Inklings, but I suppose the main selling point was the fact that it was on a hill, overlooking Inkopolis, away from the public eye. You could probably see all of Inkopolis with a good enough telescope.
All in all, I give it a 0.6/10, if I'm gonna be honest.
"No one asked you," Splin snapped, rubbing his head with an ice pack as he laid on his bed, his feet dangled by his laptop.
"So what now, Splin?" Sharq asked, sitting on his bed, a sack of ice cubes on his head.
Splin sat up, and turned to face Sharq. "We fell out of the sky twice in the past fourty-eight hours, Sharq. I think we both know we deserve this downtime." Grabbing a remote, Splin simply flicked on the T.V., where it then went straight to a news flash.
On the screen, a news logo flashed on and across then cut to a large mahogany desk. The logo remained on the bottom right of the screen as a well-dressed Inkling reporter in a shirt, his tentacles groomed and neatly tied in a bun, stacked a few paper files on his desk. He calmly folded his arm and stared straight at the camera.
"Today, all of Inkopolis is in alert and worry as the Squid Sisters went missing." The Inkling reporter told the viewers.
"Uh." Splin's eyebrows were raised as a bead of sweat dripped down his face.
"Not only that, but the Inkopolis Plaza is under attack! Multiple victims have been found dead or mortally injured!" Another voice pitched in from off-screen. It did not strike Splin as very professional.
"Huh?" Sharq's eyes went wide in shock.
"Finally, we go live on the scene, a fight breaking down in the plaza right now!" Yet another voice called in. Splin folded his arm in disbelief and scoffed.
Then the image changed. Though it was blurry and lots of static obscured bits of the screen, sure enough, chaos was ensuing in the center of the plaza. The Booyah Base's large glass windows were shattered, the pavement was cracked, and a group of Inklings who I would like to name but won't in fear of legal action were all battling it out with another one, emanating power.
It was complete disarray and disorder. The brothers' mouths gaped open. Sharq even glanced at the back of the house in worry.
"What the heck." Splin stated in disbelief. "ALL THIS WENT DOWN AFTER WE JUMPED OUT OF THERE?!"
Maybe, maybe not.
"Huh?" Sharq's triangular Inkling ears twitched as he glanced up towards the ceiling. He pushed away some of the wrappers on the floor, Splin's fragile mind practically crackling as a chip bag was littered onto the house floor, "What's that supposed to mean?" Sharq asked.
Don't worry about it, we'll cross that dimensional bridge when we get to it.
Splin and Sharq both looked at each other with a look of puzzlement before they turned back to the television screen, concern evident on their faces. They watched the battle for a while. A few of the Inklings yelled and pulled out weapons like Inkbrushes. Splin felt like it was incredibly unrealistic. The fact that several explosions sounded off in the broadcast while the world around them just sounded like evening bird calls just made it seem like it was some sort of show. Realistic, yet not at all.
Eventually, Sharq sighed and leaned back, "Hope those people turn out alright," Sharq said, before lying back down on his bed.
Splin nodded, before turning off the monitor. Resting on the cot, he stared at the ceiling for a while, before speaking up.
"Sharq," he asked, "How are you feeling?"
"What do you mean?" Sharq said, placing a hand on his forehead, before recoiling and adjusting the sack of ice cubes on his head.
"I mean, you aren't feeling down after what Ari said about… You know." Splin rubbed the back of his neck.
Sharq sighed. "It's all done already. He probably didn't mean anything by it, he was just playing with us." Turning his body away from Splin, Sharq continued. "...Mom and Dad are gone. It's been years since they…um..." Sharq bit his lip, before he cleared his throat. "...They wouldn't want us to worry."
Splin nodded, looking at his laptop. A digitally saved picture was on the desktop. Zooming in, Splin could see a young Inkling man and woman, with two younger child squids at their feet. The man was wearing a pair of Tinted Shades on his forehead, a Shirt and Tie, with the tie carelessly undone, and a scuffed pair of Black Trainers. The female had on a pair of Black Arrowbands, a Black Pipe Tee, and a pair of Plum Casuals. The man had one eye closed in a wink and was holding the woman's tentacle hairs in a ponytail smiling. The woman seemed to be in the middle of rolling her eyes, though there was a small smile on her face. The young squids on the other hand were wearing plain tees and shorts, one with a pair of headphones around his neck and the other a small cap.
Splin smiled sadly, before zooming out and closing the picture. Laying motionless staring at the ceiling, he rubbed his head and sighed. "I'm gonna have to fix that hole we made sooner or later," Splin thought, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
"Hey wait, don't go to sleep yet!" Sharq shook his shoulders lightly.
Splin's eyes slowly opened. Groaning, he turned over to Sharq and asked, "What is it now?"
"We still haven't eaten yet!" Sharq complained, holding his belly. "I'm not going to sleep on an empty stomach, you know! What if I starve to death in my sleep?!"
"Just five seconds ago you moped over mom and dad, and suddenly you want a snack?" Splin blinked with a frown as he adjusted his headphones, "What about the landfill of chips you have on your bed?"
His older brother sighed. "I ate them all."
He pointed at several bags of chips. As he did so, the doors to the house cracked open and a gust of wind blew in. The bags rustled and turned on their sides. Empty.
Splin merely stared at him with a deadpan expression. Suddenly, a rumbling noise; emanating from within both of them. Splin sighed and said, "Alright, alright. For your sake and my sleep, I'll go see what we have in the fridge." Splin walked over to the kitchen, and opened up the fridge.
Of course, if you've guessed their luck by now, you should know what's in there.
"Oh come on! We just got home too!" Splin yelled in exasperation as he leaned on the side of the refrigerator. "There's nothing in here to eat!"
Figured as much.
"WHAT?!" Sharq cried out, and ran straight to the kitchen, hopping over the counters, and looking inside. Sure enough, the fridge was mostly empty save for some ice and drinks.
"Why me!" Sharq exclaimed, falling to his knees. "Okay, we gotta get more food now, I'm starting to get really hungry as well." Splin said, starting out the door before the television chimed in again.
"Due to the events in the plaza today, all establishments around the area have been closed in evacuated. We apologize for any inconvenience."
Upon hearing this, Splin raced out the door. Sure enough, lights around Inkopolis were shutting down, restaurants and grocery stores among them. Suddenly he did not think that the unrealistic broadcast was so unrealistic. Although later he would have doubted that one event in the plaza would cause the entire city to shut down, he fell to his knees and groaned.
"...And when Splin thought it couldn't get any worse, Cod came down from the sky and crushed him with a mighty fish slap. Ugh..." Splin fell face first on the hill's grass, moaning in pain, pain of the tired kind.
Sharq walked out the house, and stood by Splin, before asking, "Room for one more?"
Splin mumbled, "Uh-huh," before Sharq fell backwards, clutching his stomach.
"Gah…" The two Inklings remained there, before Splin rose, a smile present. Splin lightly grasped Sharq's tentacles and pulled him up, pointing to a tree, with two huge apples on the top, almost glowing red. Sharq's eyes lit up, and he immediately rushed for the tree. Once he got there, he took aim at the delectable fruits using his .96 Gal, before Splin tackled him, yelling "NO!" as he went.
Splin sat up and stared down at Sharq as he sat above him with a glare. "Bro, you SURE wanna shoot our last chance of food for the night out of our reach? The force of that gun could probably knock them down the hill, and we would never see them again!"
Embarrassed, Sharq put away his weapon before asking, "How will we get the fruits then?"
Splin pointed upwards with a confident smirk. "Easy, we'll just super jump on top of it!"
That worked so well the last couple times.
"I agree with the voice this time Splin…" Sharq said, rubbing his forehead.
Frustrated, Splin pointed at his brother and shouted, "Well what do you suggest, I'm running low on fuel here!"
Climb the tree, get the apples. Simple.
"..." Splin shook his head, then turned to Sharq.
"Don't worry, I can handle this." Sharq then began to ascend the tree, grabbing at branches and leaves, before he finally reached the top.
"Alright!" Splin shouted to him, "Now just grab the apples and we'll be set, Sharq!" Nodding, Sharq reached for the apples, until he heard a crunching noise underneath his feet. "Gah!"
Sharq's footing gave way as the branch he stood on cracked under his shoes. He was now hung onto the tree with the apples still attached. Thinking fast, Splin ran back into the house and grabbed a Forge Splattershot Pro. Splin shot at the ground, quickly coating the grass in a dark blue. "Alright, grab the apples and jump down, I gotcha!" Sharq gave the apples a final tug, before he and the fruits were sent falling to the ground, and slammed into the ink puddle, splashing ink everywhere.
"OOF."
"You okay?!"
"Better than okay…" Sharq said, crunching an apple in his mouth.
"I feel pretty good! Here Splin, try this one!" Sharq said, tossing the other apple to his brother. Splin caught it, and took a bite. "...Man, these apples ARE pretty good. We're definitely not going hungry tonight!" Splin grabbed Sharq's hand and pulled him up, both of them cringing as a result of a headache.
"Let's hit the hay, I'm not willing to stand around for more bad things to happen to us tonight." Splin mumbled tiredly. They both walked back up to their home, leaning on each other for support.
But what they didn't realize-
"Please no!" They shouted at the same time.
Heh, just kidding! Don't worry, go take a load off. Besides, you'll need the energy for tomorrow.
Groaning quietly, they continued up the hill, upon reaching the house they pushed the doors open, and slammed them behind them. Flopping under the sheets in squid form, pushing their junk off their bed and turning off the lamp, they shut their eyes, anticipating sleep.
Sweet dreams, by the way.
Both brothers sighed. Sharq smiled and Splin frowned before falling into a deep slumber, unaware of the obstacles they'd face the next day.
But then, Splin realized something.
"WE DON'T TAKE FALL DAMAGE!"
Lights in Inkopolis lit up in the background of the hills as Splin's scream echoed throughout the night.
AN: I wanted to make a reference to other Splatoon fanfictions, but I didn't know if I could do so without offending the other writers. So I decided to not mention any of the names and blur out the official details on whether or not they were in the same universe or if Splin and Sharq's T.V. got more reception than they bargained for. Love those guys' stories, by the way, if I get word that they think my reference was awful, I'll be sure to censor it out and replace it or something. Anyway, as always, any criticism, or death threats from other writers for this chapter at least, is appreciated, and thank you to those who are following along with my story of the two brothers. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you all next time on the next exciting (maybe) episode of the Bate Brothers' Adventures!