"So, how are you feeling after yesterday?" Merlin asked Gold as they sat down to eat breakfast at Granny's.
"I'm almost certain I'm really dead, and this is my own personal Hell." Gold said looking at the menu. "Yep, pickles still cost extra."
"Here, use my menu." Merlin said before switching the menus.
And to Gold's shock, there it was on Merlin's menu.
'All Burgers come with Lettice, Tomato, Onions, PICKLES, and a choice of fries or a salad.'
'Cheese + $.50'
'Gluten free bun + $1.50'
'Avocado + $2'
Gold then grabbed his original menu back.
'All Burgers come with Lettice, Tomato, Onions, and a choice of fries or a salad.'
'Cheese + $.50'
'Gluten free bun + $1.50'
'Avocado + $2'
'Pickles + $.10 each'
The look on his face at that moment could be summed up in the words of Queen Victoria, with some minor embellishments.
It said. 'I am seriously, very very, angry! It's not a good idea to mess with me right now, Unamused.'
"To add a little insult to injury." Merlin said taking back the 2 menus. "Note the fact that yours has the gold edging corner things, all the others have silver."
And he was right.
"But I thought we had a truce between the two of us when it came to the pickles." Gold said.
"And we do." Granny said coming up out of nowhere. "But I haven't gotten a chance to hold my godchild yet."
"And the reasons why you still have these special, for Gold only menus?"
"Just never got rid of them." Granny said smiling. Granny said setting down two plates of burgers, both of which had pickles. "So about seeing that cute little kid…?" She said smiling even more.
"So, how are things with Emma?" Merlin asked. After a quick talk with Granny, Gold had called Belle to bring over Morraine for Granny to hold.
"Good, she managed to chat with me a little yesterday; she said Cora had killed Lancelot and was impersonating him so she could lead the survivors. Probably was hoping to find some way here to torment Regina."
"And you consider that a bad thing?"
"No, but psychotic ex meets the wife, how many bad mystery novels does Chess have with that being part of the synopsis?"
"Yes. Well then why not add a little more trouble for Cora."
Gold smiled. "This idea already interests me strangely."
The Enchanted Forest.
"I'm not sure how comfortable I am about this, lying to the rest of the people." Aurora said.
"It's not lying. Lancelot did die fighting a worthy opponent; we're just leaving out a few minor details like when it happened." Mary said. She then went over to shake Emma awake.
A moment later Emma woke up, and looked around a bit. "What time is it?"
"A little bit later than normal, after the fight yesterday we decided to let you get a little more rest." Phillip said smiling before offering Emma a hand to stand up. "How are you doing?"
"Tired, annoyed, but I do have a brilliant plan."
"Oh. Well please don't leave us in suspense."
"There is a way to bring back Lancelot." Emma said shocking the group.
"But that's impossible." Mary said.
"Yeah, everyone knows that magic can't bring back the dead." Mulan said.
"Actually you'd be amazed how many people don't know that." Emma said.
"But still, it can't be done." Phillip said confused.
"Just here me out. While in his service to the Knights of the Round Table, Merlin placed a spell upon each one of them, as a way to allow them near invincibility in battle. The rules of the spell was that if they as Knights, were doing their duty to protect the innocents and vanquish evil, were ever to fall in the presence of lesser knights, the spell would transfer the leftover life-force to that knight." Emma said. "Unfortunately for some, if you were killed before anyone else was, no such luck, and after the spell activated it was only everyone within about a hundred feet for the next five minutes, and could only be cast once on a person."
"So?" Aurora asked confused.
"So, if you won a duel for instance, you only got one extra life. But Lancelot got, more or less, lucky. He was drinking at a tavern, it caught fire, and he died trying to get people out. But over 30 people died."
"Which means he has 30 extra lives?"
"Why do you think they called him the Leviathan when he became a general for hire? He just wouldn't die." Emma said.
"So how does this help us?" Philip asked, interested in the plan.
"Lancelot had several spells put on him. One of them was a stasis spell, so if he were to be caught on the bottom of a lake of buried alive, he would just lie there and not wake up, wasting a life. He would just stay there and use the extra life to preserve him until someone saved him."
"And so we just need to find him." Mulan said.
"And we would have one more ally against Cora." Philip finished.
"Yep."
"So how do we find Lancelot?" Mulan asked.
"Did Cora, as Lancelot, ever give either of you anything?"
"This dagger." Mulan said pulling it out. "Why?"
"How do you think Cora knew where we were, knew somehow that of all the places we could have gone we went to Mary's castle after the ogre attack?"
"Tracking spell." Philip said.
"Could be anything you have, the dagger is just the most likely. And why else would she require you to go with us, if not because you were the way she was going to keep an eye on us." Emma said, she then felt the dagger in her hand. It was nothing special, just a small 6 inch blade with a leather handle, but it was the gem in the hilt that really interested her. "Can someone get the gem out of the hilt?"
"Sure." Philip said taking the blade and taking out his own knife, slowly but surely managed to work it under the stone and pop it out. "Here you go."
"Cora killed Lancelot and took his form, and she used this to track us. All we need to do is work it back the right way and…" She looked at the gem hard, passing it back and forth between her hands. "There." The gem started to glow. "We just change it a bit now and…" The glow stopped, and for a moment everyone was worried, but then a puff of white smoke swirled around a few feet away.
And when it cleared, there sat the very still body of Lancelot.
But he didn't move for a full minute. "Ok, now what?" Mary asked.
"How else do you wake someone up?" Emma then took a canteen and poured water on him.
Lancelot sputtered and started, looking around to see where he was. His eyes then settled on Mary. "Snow White? Where…" But that was as far as he got before Emma put a sword to his throat.
"Emma!" Mary said shocked at what her daughter was doing.
"We were tricked once." Was all she said. "Now. The night you finished your knight training, do you remember it?"
"Yes."
"Good. You went to a bar, which one?"
"The Lions Heart." He answered.
"Where did you sit?"
"At the bar."
"And what hair color did the girl have who you took to bed that night?"
Lancelot paused for a moment, confused. "What." He looked at her. "I didn't take any woman to bed that night."
Emma gave him a cold stare for another minute, but then smiled and lowered her sword. "Your right." She then got up and put a hand out to help him up. "Cora made herself look like you; I had to be certain it was you."
"How did you know?" He asked.
"Well, anyone could know that you went to a popular bar near the castle to celebrate, and siting at the bar could just be a lucky guess, but the fact that you did take a black haired woman out of the bar, but then just gave her some coins and walked her home because your friends were teasing you would be something only you would know."
Lancelot looked at her shocked. As did the rest of the group. "And how would you know that."
"Marlin was keeping an eye on you, and he's old friends with my husband." She said.
"And you are?"
"Emma, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming." She said pointing at Mary. "That's my mom."
"But you're…"
"There was a curse, it's complicated, tell you on the way to the fort."
"So Regina cursed the land, and only this part was spared."
"Yep, I'm betting Cora knew of some way to shield it, she probably knew a few things about the curse."
"So you ended up here because you were saving Regina from a wraith."
"Because she is my son's adoptive mother. Otherwise I was very tempted to let her get her soul removed."
"Which is not a pleasant experience." Phililp said.
"But of course Emma you would end up doing the right thing when all was said and done no matter what." Mary said in that way that was, technically not telling you what to do, but still telling you what it was you should do that all mothers are capable of.
"Yeah, sure." Emma said rolling her eyes. It seems that Mary did have the power to bring the teenager out in her. "So the plan is simple. Cora somehow managed to escape, no idea how, and is a psychotic pain that will have to be dealt with. Other than that and the ogres, the entire trip went well, we did a bit of sightseeing, couldn't find a portal, and Lancelot has definitely always been the leader of this group of people."
"Are we sure it's a good idea to lie to them?" Aurora asked. She was still not entirely 100% on board with the plan.
"Would you rather inform them that a psychotic killing machine has been protecting them for 28 years from larger and stupider killing machines? And that at any moment she might come and kill them all, and we would be defenseless to stop her because she created the camp, but the only other option is to go into the forest and risk an ogre attack."
"I'm with Emma on this one; the latter explanation would cause nothing but panic, there are some things simply left better unsaid." Mulan said.
"Yes. Besides, why would they ask? Where I come from there is a famous saying, if they don't ask the question; you don't need to give them an answer. So as long as they don't ask whether or not Cora was impersonating Lancelot the last however many years, I don't see a reason why we need to tell them that."
"All right." Aurora said, agreeing that was probably the best option.
"Wait. The tower – we always have sentries guarding the entrance. Stay close." Mulan said.
But then they entered the fort and found dozens and dozens of dead bodies. "Oh my God…"
"This can't be… Our land… We were protected here – hidden. How did the ogres find us?"
"Ogres didn't do this."
"What?"
"Cora did. Their hearts… They were ripped out. This is her magic, twisted and evil. We have to stop her."
"I think we're too late for that Snow. She killed them. She killed them all." Lancelot said as his insides were turning with disgust. While he had seen many a battlefield, and massacre, this was something else. The pure indiscriminate carnage against both men who could fight and women and children who could not.
"Well, we have to stop her before she hurts anyone else!" Mary said.
"Hey! Hey! Look!" Emma said, rushing towards a stack of bodies and debris, under which was a hand, a moving one.
"There's someone under there." Aurora said, helping Emma pull the person, a man, out. "He's alive."
"Please." He said frightened.
"It's okay." Mary said.
"Please, help me."
"It's okay. You're safe now. We won't hurt you."
"Thank you. Thank you…" He said.
"Are you alright?" Philip asked.
"Just scared. She came in the night, it was horrible. They all, they were all killed."
"Well, you're safe now, Mr…?" Emma said smiling kindly at him.
"Killian, Killian Jones." He said. And Emma's eyebrow rose slightly, but no one saw it luckily.
"Really, what an interesting name." She said.
Not too long ago, almost 9 months in fact, in Trump Tower, in New York.
"So, if I'm going to be in a relationship with you, bear your children and warm your bed…" Emma said looking at Gold as she lay on his chest. They were both lying in bed under the covers, resting from a recent bout of strenuous activity.
"I think you're a little late to be backing out of that last part dearie." Gold said smugly.
"Shut up." She said smacking him. "So, is there anything major I should know about you, any enemies that might one day try and kill us all in our sleep?"
"The town." He said kissing her head. "Granny, Regina, Killian…"
"What?"
"Killian Jones, not sure if he's still living, heard rumors here and there that he still might be alive. You remember, the man that took my wife, I told you about him a few days ago."
Emma tried to remember for a moment. "Oh right, I was drunk then."
"Well, Killian vowed to kill me after I killed Milah, which was her name, I don't think I told you that."
"You didn't."
"Well anyway that was her name."
"And now it's officially..." Emma paused for a moment to kiss him. "My absolute least favorite name in the entire world."
"No argument." He said smiling before he kissed her back. "Anyway after I killed her, Killian had the audacity to attempt to stop me from leaving, in a mixture of retaliation for his part in events, and just good old-fashioned hatred for the man, I cut off his hand."
"You cut off, his hand." Emma said slightly wide-eyed. "Is it a bad thing that I find that ever so slightly attractive?"
"It depends on what it is you find attractive about that."
"Just something about your willingness to protect family." She said smiling before snuggling up closer to him. "It's a good look for you."
"Thank you."
"So what happened to Mr. Jones afterwards?"
"He went off to attempt to amass a means of which to end me. I don't think he has succeeded, last I heard he was having trouble even managing to get within the same hemisphere as me. And that he'd taken to having a hook replace his hand."
Emma just looked at him for a moment before bursting out into laughter. "A hook. Like Captain Hook. As in terrified of crocodiles and has a funny perm for a hairdo Captain Hook?"
"I don't get the reference, and he didn't have a perm."
"It's a Disney movie." Gold still gave her a blank look. "Animated, Captain Hook the villain of Peter Pan required watching for any child not born under a rock."
"Sorry no." He said still not getting the reference. "Although I'm pretty sure my childhood would be improved if I had been born under a rock."
"No argument."
The Present.
"Have you seen him before?" Emma asked Mulan as they all watched Killian.
"Yes, I've seen him around. He's a blacksmith. Came to our camp a couple months ago. Said he lost his hand in an ogre attack. Why would Cora leave a survivor?" Mulan said.
"It's messy. Doesn't make sense."
"You think he's lying?" Mary asked.
"Yes. I know he's lying." Emma said walking up to him. "Here you go." She gave him a cup.
"I can't thank you enough for your kindness. Fortune, it seems, has seen fit to show me favor." Hook said.
"An island full of corpses. You're the only one to escape. How exactly did that happen?"
"She attacked at night – slaughtered everyone in one fell swoop. When she started ripping out people's hearts, I hid under the bodies of those who had already been killed. Pretended to be dead myself. Mercifully, the ruse worked."
"So much for fortune favoring the brave."
"It was all I could do to survive."
"I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I'm pretty good at knowing when someone is lying to me."
"I'm telling you the truth."
"No you're not." She said smiling before moving away.
"We should leave here in case Cora decides to come back." Mulan said.
"I agree, Ogres seem like they would be less dangerous then that woman is." Lancelot said.
"We should start searching for a new portal back to Storybrooke. I only got about five minutes with my husband, not to mention my grandchildren." Mary said.
"You have grandchildren?" Hook asked, a little shocked.
"Long story."
"Well, I know this land well. I can guide you..."
Hook stops when Emma draws a dagger and holds it to his throat. "You're not going to guide us anywhere, until you tell us who you really are."
Storybrooke.
"Alright!" David said as he and Henry got out of the truck and went towards the stables. But then he knows that Henry had yawned. "Come on. What's with the yawn? This isn't school. It should be fun."
"I couldn't sleep."
"Hey. I know. I miss 'em, too. Now, just think how happy Emma and Snow will be when they come home to find that you've become a proper knight. Say hello to your steed."
And of course, Henry's mouth just dropped open and he suddenly felt very energetic. "Is he mine?"
"This one's yours." David said pointing towards a white horse with a brown eye.
"And what a poor specimen he is." A voice said. David and Henry looked over to see Madelyn in full riding gear walking towards them. "The head is all wrong for a horse, the back is slightly arched wrong, the legs look a little weak, and the teeth…" She said looking to the horse's mouth. "Are not that good."
"Isn't there an old saying in this world, something about not looking gift horse in the mouth?"
"But it's not my gift horse; therefore I can look all I like." She said smugly to David before turning to Henry. "You really should ask Rumple for a horse, I'm sure he'd get you the best one in all the realms."
"Oh I most certainly would." Gold said as he walked up towards the group. "I could get Henry horse made of pure Northern wind, a creature that would run so fast, you'd be in California by suppertime. Or perhaps something a little darker, like a Night Steed, capable of being as fast as and silent as a shadow. Or perhaps…" He said crouching down to be level with Henry. "One of the Golden Horses of the South, which, according to legend, were almost untamable. But if you could possibly survive the process to do it, would grant to you a beast forever loyal and capable of going 100 leagues in an instance."
"Really?" Henry asked excitedly.
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold it for a moment." David said quickly interjected himself back into the conversation. "I think we can all agree that while that would be probably one of the coolest things I can think of." He said with a slight smile on his face, because honestly from the way Gold describes those horses, he also wanted one of each. "But the simple fact is you have to learn how to sit up before you can crawl, crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run. And you're talking about going and getting him a gymnastics course before he's even learned how to use his arms properly."
"So?" Madelyn asked.
"So. Perhaps Henry should learn how to ride my…" He gave her a look. "Poor specimen." He then looked back at Gold. "Before he learns how to ride something that if he lets go will be 100 miles away before he falls and breaks his neck on the side of the road."
Gold seemed to consider this for a moment, but then looked at David with a smile. "I could always make my special saddle that would make it so that he couldn't fall off."
David had to admit that was actually a pretty good argument. "But what about learning to do it the right way, to care for and understand his horse?"
"He could do that with the ones were offering." Madelyn said.
David was starting to not like the girl. "What about the fact that I'm willing to bet you don't have these horses with you write this moment."
"It would not take me long to get them." Gold said smiling.
"Good. But until then how about we let Henry enjoy playing with the normal horse, at least so he can appreciate a super one even more."
"Very well." Gold said bowing his head in agreement. "Until then Henry, make sure you wash up at David's place. I don't want the small of horse running rampant around the house."
"Okay." Henry said before turning back to David. "So… How do I get on him?"
"Oh, you're not riding today."
"I'm not?"
"No. There's much to learn before you hop in the saddle."
"Like what?"
"Well, every morning, you'll have to muck out his stall. Then, you'll brush him and feed him. After school, you'll do it again. Every day, twice a day."
"That's not riding, that's babysitting."
"Ah. Horse sitting." All three of the adults corrected him. Which then made all of them look at each other in surprise.
"It builds an essential bond. The trust between knight and steed." David finished.
"Okay. But, when will I ride him?"
"When the horse tells you. I'm going to go check in on the dwarves – see how the mining's coming. I'll pick you up later." David said leaving.
And Henry just looked of the horse. "So… Anything you want to tell me?"
"That guy who just left, he sure looked stupid." Madelyn said sounding like an old, Prairie grandmother. Before making a horse noise. "And I tell you what, the barn never smelled better than when he left."
This of course led to quite a bit of laughter from all three of them.
Enchanted Forest.
"I told you. I'm just a blacksmith." Killian begged as he was tied to a tree by Philip and Lancelot as the rest of the girls looked on.
"Sure you are." She then smiled deviously, hopefully doing a very good impression of her husband whenever he was about to reveal some vital piece of information that people didn't think he had. "Hook."
Hook however, managed to hide his shock rather well. "What?"
"Captain Killian Jones, better known as Captain Hook. Womanizer, drunkard, thieving pirate scum, murder of innocents, and thief of men's wives." She said while smiling, both at his look of shock and that of the others. She then turned around and whistled loudly. And was rewarded by the sound of ogres crashing through the forest. "You don't want to talk to us? Maybe, you'll talk to the ogres while they rip you limb from limb."
But the only response was for Hook to laugh. "Very good, you best me. I can count the number of people who have done that on one hand."
"Well it's not like you have much choice in the matter." Emma said, happy with the unhappy look it caused him to have. "Are you going to tell us what you are doing here?"
"Cora wanted me to gain your trust, so I could learn everything there is to know about your Storybrooke. She didn't want any surprises when she finally got over there."
"She can't get there; we destroyed the wardrobe and took the ashes."
"It's called stealing. Someone as powerful as Cora could simply poof up behind you and slit your throats. Or in her case rip out your hearts, and take the ashes easily."
"I doubt that." Mulan said. "Come on, we should leave him for the ogres to finish. Pay for his part in the murders last night."
"That was Cora. Not me."
"Accessory before, after, and during the fact." Emma said before they all began to walk off.
"Wait. Wait! You need me alive." Hook yelled.
"Why? Why should we join forces with a lowlife murderer like you?" Lancelot asked.
"Because I want the same thing as your two new friends – to get back to their land."
"You would say anything to save yourself. Why are we supposed to believe you now?"
"I arranged for transport with Cora. But, seeing how resourceful you are, knowing about the ashes and all that, I'll offer you the same deal. I'll help you, if you promise to take me along."
"How are you going to help us get home?"
"The ashes will open a portal, but, to find your land, you need more. There's an enchanted compass. Cora seeks it. I'll help you obtain it before she does."
"Sounds too good to be true." Mary said.
"I agree." Phillip said. "How do we know that's not just a desperate attempt to save your sorry hide?"
"There's only one way to find out."
"Unfortunately he's telling the truth. The ashes are simply the key that opens the door, the compass is needed to show us which of the doors we need to go through." Emma said walking up to Hook with the knife in her hand. "You tell me one thing, and whatever you say, I better believe it – why does Captain Hook want to go to Storybrooke?"
"To exact revenge on the man who took my hand… Rumpelstiltskin."
"Okay." Emma said giving Mary Margaret a side glance that clearly said to simply follow her lead. "That I believe." She said before cutting him down.
Storybrooke.
"Gramps says that you'll tell me when I'm ready to ride you. So… Anytime. Like, soon?" Henry says talking to the horse.
But suddenly something spooked the horse causing it to jump around in its stable. And when Henry tried to calm it down the horse knocked them over and ran out the door.
A few moments later Daniel walked into the room, looking very disoriented.
Regina, David, and Gold all got out of the police car and ran towards the stable. "Daniel wouldn't hurt Henry, he wouldn't."
Gold was about to give her rebuttal, but then saw Henry's horse running towards them.
So with a snap of his fingers he froze the animal. And then he looked over at David. "I said we should have gotten him a Golden horse, those horses would've never abandoned Henry."
"Can you really blame the poor guy?" David says they started running again. "How often do you run into a zombie?"
"Daniel is not a zombie." Regina said angrily.
"He's also not exactly in his right mind right now. 40 years in a preservation spell, being one of Frankenstein's experiments, and having a heart that's not his own put into him doesn't exactly inspire confidence into his mental state."
Much latter.
"So, it didn't go well I take it." Gold said, sitting down in a booth with Regina passing her a shot of whiskey.
"I just turned my true love to dust." Regina said taking the drink from him, swallowing it in one go. Gold then pulled out a bottle. "Huh. I'd laugh, but I can't enjoy it." She said filling the glass.
"You let him go. I know it could not have been easy for you."
"Well, not like you can relate."
"I spent years pinning for Belle after I lost her, holding on to that darned cup." Gold said, taking a sip from his glass.
"And then you got Emma."
"I know. And I'm grateful for that gift every day." He said getting up from the booth. "Regina." He said looking her straight in the eye. "Take it from me. Love, it comes from the most unexpected of places. It's a delicate flame that will warm you, make every inch of you fill with joy." He then placed his hand on her shoulder. "But the thing is, it's a small flame, hard to see, and if all you focus on is the flame you once had, you will never see the one standing right in front of you until it too late and it has gone out." He then walked away. "Believe me that is a regret you don't want."
Regina just looked at him. "But no one is looking to love me of all people."
Gold just smirked and gave her one last look. "Funny, I could have sworn there was a nice little boy who wants to be loved by his mother."
"He has Emma."
"And he doesn't need more love?" And then Gold left.
The Enchanted Forest.
"Up ahead. We'll find the compass just over the ridge." Hook said.
"Do you get the feeling he's leading us exactly where Cora wants us? That this whole thing's a trap?" Mary Margret asked.
"Yep." Philip responded.
"Oh it's definitely a trap. As long as we know they're trying to play us, we can…" Emma said.
"Stay one step ahead of them." Mary said.
"And stay alive." Philip said.
"Exactly." Emma said as they got to the top of the ridge, and saw a beanstalk reaching up into the clouds. "Let me guess – the compass is up there?"
Hook just laughed. "Oh, yeah."
"So, how do we get to it?"
"It's not the climb you need to worry about. It's the giant at the top."
"Well of course, why have a giant bean stalk and no giant."
"For simplicities sake perhaps." Lancelot said smiling.
So sorry for the long wait, I swear I have a very good reason.
At 8 yesterday, my great-aunt lost her battle with cancer.
Now when I say battle, what I mean is that for the last year or two it's been a slow and painful but whopping.
Now, I realize that you are all about to hate me for this, but I do not want to be in your prayers. Truthfully I don't really care that my aunt died, she was the nicest member of the side of the family full of backstabbing weasels, which have repeatedly used everything from emotional blackmail to downright theft and fraud to try and cheat my grandfather, who's older brother is the husband of this woman.
To be fair, she was a Godly and wonderful woman in most regards, it's just she had a way with words that you didn't realize you should be greatly insulted until a half hour latter.
So, please pray for my Grandfather. He is in denial about his brother and nephew for years. They lie, cheat, steel, both through fraud and just good old fashion taking of property, and he always forgives them.
So, this is a very stress filled time, and he will assume, wrongly, that he can go and morn for a woman he thought of like a sister peacefully, and that they will not try and pull something.
And we are going through a big transition and negotiation period over some valuable property from my great-grand parents. And so they will use the death of their wife and mother to try and continue to bully my grandfather to do what they want.
And this is the grandfather, if you remember, with the bad heart. So please pray for him that it all goes well and that he can avoid conflict, or really anything more than polite hello and goodbye would be best.
Thank you.
Thank you to PumpkinKitten, Grace5231973, and Twyla Mercedes for the lovely reviews.