Two months people, two months! I'm sorry for not updating. That's basically all I can say. I think every one who's in school can relate to being so busy this time of year. I've just had all of my national exams so I haven't had any time on my hands. Now I finally do and I can get back to writing! I have a lot of new ideas for this story and I'm so excited to share them with you guys. Happy reading ^^

Chapter 32

Tris

"Who do you think it was?" Christina asks me as we walk through the doors to the glass building. It feels strange being back here. We went through so much when we were away, I feel like the Dauntless compound as changed through my eyes. I don't want it to feel like that; this is my home after all.

"I have no idea. I mean, who would be stupid enough to do that? What if they'd been caught?"

Christina nods. "Yeah tell me about it." I walk quietly behind her down the narrow path surrounding the pit. After walking here so many times, the edge with no railings still makes me nervous and I walk carefully. We decide to go to the dining hall to get something to eat. I've been so on edge these last 48 hours I haven't had time to think about food. We grab some dinner and sit down at an empty table in the corner of the room. Everything still seems normal here – the cook constantly slamming the pan on the stove, groups of people laughing loudly and food being tossed from across the tables. It's weird, but I missed being here. I missed feeling like my life was normal, and that I can actually enjoy it.

"So," Christina says and stuffs her mouth full with mashed potatoes. "What do we tell Max on Monday? We were all absent from work both yesterday and today, and we just started."
Just as the last words leaves her mouth, I remember the conversation I overheard between Eric and Max just before I left. Max mentioned something about people getting suspicious about the lock down. I wonder if he was talking about the attacks, or if it was something else. What ever it was I have to find out. They must have had another reason than just keeping everyone safe. Maybe they wanted to keep everyone away.

"Hello? Tris?" Christina waves her hand in front of my eyes.

"Sorry, um, I don't know. I can talk to him."

"What would you say?"

"I'll come up with something." I scanner the room again - not really sure what exactly I'm looking for. My eyes drift back to Christina as she speaks again.

"I need to talk to you about something," she says.

I frown. "Sounds serious. What is it?"

She hesitates for a few seconds, like she's considering to say anything. "Something weird happened. But I don't really know what it meant."

"Okay," I say.

"It was just before Jeanine's trial. I went there alone cause Will was already there and when I got there I saw Uriah so we went into the elevator together and started talking, like normal you know." She looks over her shoulder over the dining hall, checking if someone is listening. She turns to me again and continues. "Then, he said this weird thing. I said that I was kind of scared of what was going to happen and then he said, "I'll be here for you whatever happens." Then he touched my arm and smiled. It was so odd, like he was hitting on me or something."

"But, he's with Marlene?"

"I know. What do you think?"
"Well, he could just have been friendly. It doesn't have to mean anything special. Just don't avoid him and see what happens."

"I'm not avoiding him."

"Yes you are, because I know you."

She smiles. "I guess. But that wasn't even the worst part. I sort of, liked it."

"Liked what?"

"Him, caring, and I know that's so wrong cause I'm with Will. At least, theoretically…"

"What do you mean by theoretically?"

"I feel like we're not together anymore. There's so much space between us, I can't see us getting back to what we once were."

"You're giving up on him?"
"I don't know what to do. And now when I felt… things for Uriah I don't know what my heart wants either. Argh, do you hear my struggles? Help!"

Christina always put on a brave face, for everyone and herself, but ever since I got to know her I've learned that she's a very sensitive and emotional person. She's never been very good at hiding her feeling from me. "I think the best thing you can do is talk to Will. See where he stands. Then see where Uriah stands."

"Why do I feel like there's a complicated week coming our way?"

"Because that's probably true."

I read the sign on his door, M A X. I picture Peters name up there, knocking on his door only to speak to him as my boss. I know Max's position is the one what Peter eventually will want, after Max is gone. Considering his good side with Eric that is a possibility, unless Eric wants it. That's a possibility too; he's always enjoyed power over others.

I lift my hand and just as I'm about to knock a loud and angry voice stop me.

"I needed her alive!" Max yells from behind the door. "Now we're never gonna know where she hid it."

"It wasn't our people who killed her. It was someone else, from the outside. We never could have known they were planning on killing Jeanine."

Max and Eric. I wonder if this has to do with their other conversation I overheard. It has to. I press my ear against the door, trying to hear better.

"Jeanine was the only one who knew where she's hiding. Now I'm never going to find her!" Who is he talking about?

"I'm sure someone else knows that can help us. We'll look into it later. For now you'll just have to give it a rest."

"You're in no place to give me orders Eric. Now leave, I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Of course sir."

I realize Eric will be walking out this door I'm pressing myself against and I quickly leave the corridor.

It's almost 11 pm and I haven't seen Tobias since we got back. I'm scared he's done something reckless but I have to convince myself that he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. His actions keep reminding me of that. I let the ice-cold water run over my hands in the sink and I look at my reflection in the mirror. I don't longer see what I saw before, a brave young woman ready for any obstacle heading her way. Now I just see a worn tired face, weakened by the changes she's facing. It's not over yet; I have to find out what Max and Eric are up to. I need to know what woman he's talking about that he so desperately needs to find. So desperate he was willing to kidnap Jeanine for information. Someone knocks on my door and I turn of the water. It's probably Christina. It was hard to shake her off earlier when I needed to talk to Max. I can't tell her about that yet, or at all. Not until I have all the information myself. I open the door and by my surprise Tobias is standing outside. "Hi," he says softly.

"Hey. I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"I know, I'm sorry. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." I step aside and close the door behind him. He looks distracted, exactly like I'm feeling right now. "You okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"A little distracted, but okay."

He nods. I'm not sure what to say to him right now. I can't tell him either about what I overheard outside Max's office. "So why did you come here?" Is all I can say, and it's a stupid thing to say.

"I just… I don't know. I wanted to see you."
"Well, here I am."

He frowns. "Is there something you're not telling me Tris? Did I do something to upset you?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you vanished after one of the most traumatizing things I've gone through without telling me. Just when I needed you. I really needed you, but I couldn't find you anywhere so I hung out with my best friend, and yeah of course that was nice but it doesn't change the fact that I needed you Tobias. Not anyone else, but you weren't here so when Christina went to find Will I was alone. I just… I just hate that I need you so badly. I can't…"

"Tris," Tobias grabs my wrist. "Slow down, breath." He looks into my eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now."

I look at him and I realize it's not him I'm angry at. It's myself, for not being able to share my problem with him. "I'm sorry," I gasp. "I don't hate that I need you. I love that. I'm just going through stuff right now."

He smiles carefully and it's enough to calm me down. "I know. We'll get through it."

I can't help but doubt his words. Sure, we'll get through this, Jeanine. I'm pretty sure I'm already passed that. Now I only care about who Max is looking for and why he thought Jeanine could tell him where this woman's hiding. Tomorrow I have my first shift in the control room. If I get the chance, I can track Max and see if I can get any useful information about his plans. Since I can't ask him directly, I'll just have to monitor him.

See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s